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剝離
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新年的朝拜會上的求籤許愿，多年來在我這裡總是空著的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xGDGifqag
每到這個環節，我只是站在一旁瞧著人們虔誠的拜祭著，包括山本武在其中。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PIy5zaS7A
諸如「要和雲雀相親相愛」「希望福大命大不要挨槍子」等等完毫無意義的內容都是他的杰作。然而他許下多次的那個心愿，祈求「父親能夠長命百歲」的願望卻意外未能實現。在血腥的戰場上，它始終淪為了泡影。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TOXgE1cT5
從那時起，我們新年就再未回過日本。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGmvLX0F2U
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那為何現在的我竟然會夾卷在擁堵的人群中，愚蠢的做出雙手合十的動作呢？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9COKoBQvIP
再過強大的人一旦面對生老病死，反而會顯得格外脆弱麼。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoz2I4XRPN2
「想活下去，還不想死。」 卻什麽都做不了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT98hkfqg9r
這或許是我多年來孕育出的唯一奢求。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G4eZHdIsc
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>> 倒置的明日50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJznITgNGp3
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「雲守大人，雨守大人終於回來了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp47SOYF2jP
「現在人在哪兒？！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkqhk73jUc
「……還在急救中…」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4p4418PY5
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重症監護室里的他，依舊是完全如同放棄生命的軀殼一般。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvF0wLzmJlR
明明那雙冰冷的手塞在我懷裡面整整幾個小時，卻仍舊一點溫度沒有。我脫下身上所有的衣服鉆到冰窖一般的被窩裡，希望自己一丁點的體溫可以稍微起到加熱作用。靠近他的身體，靠近他嘴唇才稍微能夠察覺一點存活的氣息。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzohn5gg0L
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昨天從手術室裡被推出的那副軀體，我簡直認不出是他。總是面色健康的山本武，現在卻如同一隻將死乾癟的魚。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8C7jGnFgwe
氧氣罩下的臉滲透著白、排列著不規則粗糙的皮紋。與身上一條條連在一起的那些機器不時會發出低值警報來刺激我本就只餘下一處脆弱防線的神經。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwiQnWQSiZ
我有史以來頭一遭體味到一種滄桑的無力感。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjMrsNva45
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主刀醫師桌上躺著幾塊因擠壓而變形的子彈。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4l9A7EXeu3
我仔細拿起來查看，希望從中能夠得到一些線索。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1lEkDVGpw
「子彈已全部成功被取出了，共八枚。」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnuMv2tQH2
「手術雖然算是成功結束了，但還未脫離生命危險。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57EHhiozCM
我竟然需要鼓起勇氣，才能像往常一樣面無表情的抬起頭。 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQERFlMJjj1
「請實話講吧，醫生。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBIIMR4TAn
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直覺告訴我，事情總不是如此簡單。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTpdFseepT
無血色的臉堪比純白的病房、與床單混淆在一起甚至會區分不清。只有從儀器上才會意識到這個人的生命跡象，但心臟卻維持著相當微弱的跳動頻率。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iR3bFQxDa
其實早就預料到這之後說不定會有更糟的事情…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrs5VfQ8qn
雖然我沒有把握在知道真相后不會出現什麽過激反應。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtee8GRi8iM
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「實際上……」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKA60xfv5Ku
他指著激光片下的人體骨質陰影，面色沉重：50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nkJYI6TpF
「現階段只是通過機器維持他殘餘生命，兩塊腎瓣遭受如此劇烈撞擊早已完全毀壞了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe99u2JBVPC
「我們已經將他完全壞死的部分切除，但由於感染嚴重，不及時全部切除的話可能會導致全身被感染而出現生命危險，但一旦沒有腎，人也一樣活不了多久的。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHDNkYnlhx
「唯一的辦法是移植健康的腎到他體內，只需要一部分的腎即可維持一般生存了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUOr7QH3rg
「除非現在可以尋找的到合適的捐贈器官，但山本先生可能無法等到那個時侯了…」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPSr9DLXZE
「總的來說就是希望渺茫，但我們不會…」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYeJe1DNpI
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說了這麼多，只是叫我做好收尸的心理準備麼。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUn5aq2jqBD
「什麽才算是合適的器官？」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O6yt3YykE
「當然首先是要健康的，其次要經過複雜的化驗得知各方面不會出現排異反應，最後是的確有這樣的庫存資源。現在庫房內并不存有待移植的腎。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVRUnZyixk
「而且捐獻者仍有另一半的腎，生命沒有危險，只是日常生活會受到一些影響。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgc2mCipSk
「不過不管怎麼說，只有等是否會有人愿意捐獻。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTi4NQck8E
腦子裡有什麽過濾出來了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhXKoNKKrB
或許這是一次好的機會，爲了我和他。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPLYCokOE5
「我愿意。」 斬釘截鐵的口氣，我嚴肅的講出來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCHGgtV82s
他頓時一愣。 「這……是慎重考慮后的嗎。」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLwN4K1I0c
「這種事情無需考慮。」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCD9RaCEyg
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山本武，曾經是你和我約定不許擅自替對方做什麽。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJjQNBjA9k
半年前連招呼不打的偷偷溜走了，你美其名曰爲了我而接下這爛攤子，結果卻是將自己造成這樣狼狽狀態。現在又是半死不活的境況。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzLRTeZF19
反過來，如果當初是我去，果真會如同你現在這樣慘敗的樣子麼。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNqgqg8HaL
冠冕堂皇的說是爲了我，實際上只是不顧一切爲了實現你自己的心愿而已。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCqOu4He7g
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「那……好吧，首先請依照要求做一些化驗檢查，如果沒有問題的話…」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7ZeERY7I6
「我有一個要求。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyY6zpcuVRo
「請講…」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcr0gdy23y
「如果可以移植，就請直接移植兩個過去。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdjQ70bYpF
「什麽？……您開玩笑吧。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmprYJWZKtG
「沒有。」 手緊緊扣住醫生雙臂迫使他服從我的命令。 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIW7rYbIBLV
「…沒有腎，是無法繼續生存的啊。」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡST77SZhK2k
「你只要去做就好了，不用顧及到我的死活。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtDr4gaqNX
「這樣并不值得……」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSeIgeBR5G
「我知道。」 但這并不重要。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqDyb1bZOU
「不過看過這個，你就會懂我的意思了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIOLGnchPP
我將一直攥在手裡濕透了的紙團展開來給他看。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YvqxyexVJ
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沒想到這張化驗單無意中一直保存著，到現在竟然會派上用場。瞧見他逐漸露出的驚訝神情，再不可思議的端詳我一番。視線挪回那張紙上再仔細確認之後，才輕點頭像是答應我，又遲疑著的欲言又止。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZPMU4WXT7
但我終於松了一口氣。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8dqrBT26d
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>> 禁句的淺海50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9beCdO3eM
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五年前一次意外的巧合，在一次例行體檢中的血液檢測分析后，我被確診為「欠發達細胞老化再生障礙」，簡單的說就是「肌肉萎縮」。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UYcweZwPw
告知結果的時候，夏馬爾小心翼翼的試探著我的反應，簡單描述給我這種病的不可治愈。並且會隨著生命的成長而逐漸嚴重化，最終我的下場便是抽搐著癱軟在床上完全無法行動，甚至連語言能力都會喪失。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuApydbtwV
那時我雲淡風輕的回應著他，沒什麽大的反應。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRx7cY1AmU
然而他無法察覺出的，我內心早已捲起千層波浪劇烈拍打在海岸擊碎了巨石。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCoWVIARxU
我爲什麽被選擇？我需要知道理由…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofevGwAn1j
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曾經想過自己的死法，或者直接一槍斃命、或者一點點老去死亡。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaceFxdrGL
遲早有一天要命喪黃泉，不是早已看開了麽。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbi46fFaIN
為何現在…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3D73DxUKEk
我卻貪戀著不想死。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIm6Ds4mG9
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就當做是能夠活下去，才會變得如此強大。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQVCrnjFwu
但到頭來卻爭取到了什麽…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldWjab3l4w
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帶著化驗數據，不知道自己是怎樣滾回家的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcD0uDKqQpw
恰好是假期時間，山本又有任務在外地。每天每天我獨自一人縮在房間里，魂不守舍的胡亂想著有的沒的。我瞧不起這樣的自己卻又一而再再而三去妥協。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxymgH7qRUb
山本回來的那天夜裡我正縮在沙發一角瞧著電視屏幕，思緒卻早已遠離不知飄到哪裡去，完全沒有意識到他發出巨大的關門聲。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqQwAFkVPa
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJPskna1B2
「雲雀？」 頻道的節目早已結束，只剩下藍幽幽的背景顏色。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcotDJC9S1
除去一臺電視機散放微弱的光亮，房間內其他的事物一律模糊在黑暗中，連同他那張長年累月鋪滿溫柔氣息的臉。不知為何突然心裡一陣刺痛。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZMUMhJmNe
「什麽。」 我被自己顫抖的發聲嚇了一跳。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnt5p0pf5eK
他走過來一屁股陷在我旁邊的柔軟里，疲憊的撕扯著領帶。 「對不起我回來晚了，朋友們有些小聚會。」 我聞的出他懶懶鼻息中濃稠的酒味。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqskgsPK6J
「喝太多了你。」 或許以往我會厭惡的撥開他，而現在卻完全沒有力氣。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZ4Fn6tjpe
我將自己全部的體重轉移給這張沙發，頭低低沉下去儘量不做思考。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9N9F7gbmu
他卻硬是將我的頭扳正被迫與他對視。 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpBCB9SS8t
「喂！」 我終於忍不住掙脫開了他雙手的桎梏。 「干什麽！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwkPopsyiC
他笑著，卻沒有聲響。只是嘴角大大的揚起。我卻在那翹起的眼梢讀出一絲苦悶。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXp4lUxJjg0
見他半天都不講話，甚至眼皮動也不動一下像是定住似的。我才無可奈何的收回憤怒的語氣。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfGurTHooU
「爲什麽要喝成這個樣子。」 我喃喃著，心情差至極點。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKNC6ZMC0p
他狠狠圈住我， 「因為不開心啊！」 不留餘地的用力到我快要不能呼吸……50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6wtXbR0XQ
「喂放……」 話還沒有講完，有些什麽液體從我肩窩划了下去。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9EnofLT0B
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我一時失神。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCZhxnHhOK
印象中的他已經有五年沒有哭過了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZepeg4ei79
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本想掙扎的打算在他的軟弱面前，一點點的剝離殆盡。我安靜下來，聽他此起彼伏的劇烈心跳聲音，好像正在逐步瓦解我的崩潰防線。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhjzjOQu2K
在他痛苦的時候，希望他比誰都愿意告訴我。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmpWKsKzXU
明天的山本武就將是三十二歲，而再過幾天我也要再老一些。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MwS1QTKre
這樣毫無憑依的生活著數十個年頭，就快要劃上休止符了麼。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaoRzjXWSQ
心被揪出血似的酸楚。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAd8T31Gtd3
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2rWp64eZ1
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「生日快樂。」 在指針沒有越過換日線時，我先講了。 「有什麽心愿。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFfD17oN5m
「我想和雲雀永遠在一起。」 他悶悶的聲音，順著臉龐的輪廓攀上我的耳膜。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1biimt88oU
然後他抬起頭，不避諱我會看到他滿是淚漬紅腫的眼眶。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2jmyeqrmn
捧起我的臉小心翼翼的吻著，雖然我總是慢半拍的回應不來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9c8fFZlPx
直到吻加深至肩部，胸口。我才聽到他夢囈般的抽噎聲：50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMjV2B1Z6f
「雲雀…我本想和你過很久的…」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9Y9mQizRg
「……雲雀，我不想你離開我的……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuWsKbIgxk
發什麽神經啊你……50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyUHWcLKNq
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但是他每句話都講得如此貼切於我的現狀。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9zhjpSLEi
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2ii65rjwb
我的頭皮一陣陣過電似的酥麻，視線恍惚的看住他委屈的面容。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNTxuXgtA8
仿佛過了多久，我們親熱了多少回合，累得早不省人事。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDH4lhP1kk1
昏迷中感覺他縮在我懷裡蜷成一團，整個房間好似都在反射著他若有若無的抽泣。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXHso5ttMu
而我不知覺中滑落的淚痕，是直到早晨才發現枕頭上的斑駁痕跡。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rfEJwIEZY
身邊沒有人躺著。我在家裡焦急的四處尋找著也不見他身影。像是從來沒有回來過似的，除去身體里還止不住會流出的白色粘稠液體以及床上一片狼藉之外，他甚至連昨晚的行李箱都拎走了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkiHvlaFdl
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfSffVhtSU
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而後我才知道，之所以那段時間以來一直有空閒，是因為他把分配在我這裡的任務全全包攬。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSZHgKO8LI
結果是，整整半年時間我們都沒有機會再見面。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyBdNsTvkh
之後的再次重逢，他卻是血肉模糊的完全失去意識被抬到我面前的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RhQRq0tTm
那時的你，還有一口氣尚存。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6WdWycKvI
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吶，其實死亡這種東西沒有什麽大不了的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBv0ECKFtpE
而我只是趕在病魔吞噬這副軀殼之前，為自己選擇了一條更完美的出路而已。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyTyqR9rvQ
山本武，作為你失約的懲罰，我也獲得了權利去為你決定一次。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUOjaWHphl
而你的選擇只有在醒來之後的日子里，給我認認真真的活下去。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDDFczEZvT
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVRSx4CPL3
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeLOIy5aCM
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50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVfmniEYoI
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>> 枯萎的聲音50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE96Tp3YwhQ
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADomUSCQNT
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwT94JiLOXM
一系列的器官捐獻條款中，有一處被標注為血紅色。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeZqhf64dC
『如在捐獻過程中，捐獻者生命突然出現無法處理的臨危狀況，醫院一方不負主要責任。』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQWpYR6k2J
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszQxdKSbhr
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50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfDDDDT46X
簽署協議因為需要證明人，我帶著這些單據回到了彭格列。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAPLcoemHA
我不相信任何人會為自己保守這個秘密，但澤田綱吉是勉強的人選。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7X3ilHpcT
他屏住呼吸瞧著我手中的筆絲毫不猶豫的揮舞在張張紙上。我的心竟然平靜如同死水一般，大腦完全放棄思考的跟隨本能去行動。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0SfBURTjj
「如果山本問起，你要我怎麼回答？」 他突然上前攔住我的筆。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisJHv9dTwc
眉毛都糾結在一起緊緊的鎖著，略帶責備的口吻：50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rq1I3nhnf
「你看是否再考慮下……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznf57BsLyB
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CbtaqQqFJ
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這一刻，我有史以來的溫順脾氣推開了他。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWhkk4XGsT
沒有回答他的提問，我將退職信放在他桌上。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKdCHsC5IW
「有了這個，向上面交代起來會容易些。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7zoTEnF9g
「你聽我說…」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0ORFvaLz2
「傷害山本的組織我已查明，都寫在裡面。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnXQ66q8Ni
「雲雀……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbs81LcCZkK
「相信你不會告訴他的。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4VIXgxzo3
「……我不會…」 他終於放棄了與我僵持，松開了手。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdD4v4IfFv
躲避著我咄咄逼人的銳利眼神在單據上簽上自己的名字，而後拿起信撕掉。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxOxLvwmHL
「你永遠是唯一的雲守。」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlt9VlT8rV
「說不定過了一個月你就會恥笑自己竟然這樣說過。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6y9kuyhlL
「我絕對不會。」 他咬牙切齒的像隻攆不走的倔強兔子。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNb8BdJMcfu
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBk33HiJ90b
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmwpj6XSQC
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>> 暖色的夢50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOK7mC6gJe
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lWYRPKqdf
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqd6kN5FgU
換上規定衣裝后，我被掛上吊瓶推往手術室。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjy3QrFoVV9
山本較我更后才遲遲趕到。 現在的他即使被安排進入冰室幾天延緩身體毀壞的速度，也無法保證他狀況的穩定。我仰頭吃力瞧著為他架上觀察器的醫生忙碌的背影，顯示屏上逐步確認著他各方面指數，一切本按部就班在進行中。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fmZTV43UI
我釋懷的閉上眼睛。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1wy0XB8qJ
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHmm3n0wrr
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJrbxUr9b6
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50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaLxbR8wLo
突然——50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLNkDf7pZM
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2Kp5bPUkC
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7ZltQdbHJ
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYrqCIlyEb
「病人血壓已降至三十！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7SqoVHDSC
「心率已降到無法維持最低工作底線以下！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEPObII6s7
他頭頂的機器一直響個不停，上面的數字開始倒退。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CWJp8hgRw
以一種不留任何挽回餘地的速度。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QoehZy0TO
直至歸零。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq41WluZ01f
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZj5eDMrnU3
「病人呼吸停止了！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSr4r79wV3
「出現短暫性休克！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP70V25OEr1
「準備電擊！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUR04QnLS4L
手術燈下映照他的臉更加蒼白無血色。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGKPxZ0vVZ
這千鈞一發時刻，我已無法承受如此的震驚。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2euxImSSvN
而我這邊看樣子準備工作還未做好…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdAr1ILYn4
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XgmDdxGum
我們隔的不遠，試著夠到了他垂在身體兩側冰冷的手。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UB6bUf1kk
「手術什麽時候開始，能不能快點！」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2dqiZdU3q
山本武，你不要給我這麼快咽氣…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xoIwN3JRM
「現在就為你注射麻醉藥劑，請不要亂動啊先生！」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZMq5SpGpT
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAUu96sXEv
收緊掌中的五指，我將最後一點屬於他的觸感牢記。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJFIrQDjg2
吶山本武，你當初講的狗屁「心有靈犀」到底有沒有用？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3HhyEDMVV
假如你聽得到…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGiassVuq4
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYURKbI1TU
如果手術成功的話，就又有力氣握住那把早已落滿灰塵的刀。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9AQ3TJGCE
就有機會再持著你真愛的球棒踏入球場。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JO3SZ1AlT
可以再有大把的時間用來浪費，這樣的美事是很誘惑吧？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGEcc7JlF0
吶，再爭取一點時間就够了，馬上就可以了，就快…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxO1e4FnY51
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdt5XZ7jZ8T
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冰凍的身體開始恢復溫度，一點點血色逐漸攀爬上被霜覆蓋的臉頰。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwtkUtFB44
從手腕處的動脈可以感受得到他還在奮力掙扎著，從死亡邊境上…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLRuBDBdaB
對，就是這樣做…就快好了…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fVZEs2EXW
但是猛然之間突如其來的一陣暈眩迫使我的手鬆了一些。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzSXho7Nlf
身體被套上什麽儀器，有人試圖分離我們。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtClJzyjYLl
麻醉劑竟然這麼快就有了感覺，身體已經完全使不出力氣…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFH5MMqG8H
手中的他開始逐漸脫離，一直到最後一根指頭也從我掌中硬被抽出。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgDDQotT7H
你們這群混蛋…給我回……不…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Vc1n717jz
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORlUCauexy
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聲音被死悶的困在胸腔，想要掙脫開無數雙壓制我的桎梏。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PsWjDVPxM
最終卻抗拒不了逐漸下滑的眼皮將視線捲進黑暗中，整個人像是再做自由落體運動。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg2LOkYHHk
軀體似懸浮著鉆進什麽裂縫之中，被狂嵐一陣陣夾卷到未知名的世界。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrrWK8Xcy7
幾經周折才得以硬生生墜落在水泥地上，好似胸腔被撕裂一般的錐心疼痛。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QrtsTCSxh
身上何時竟然已被換上和服，我吃力的爬起來環顧四周……50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLokPFC0P0a
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGunlhp9iw
并盛……町？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJdt58cqfi
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>> 痙攣的雙眼50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGrjkLKqtI
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uZAyazlwD
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmcoD92fdB
天空被烏雲籠罩著，路上空無一人或許是因為深夜。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4dk5Jtev4
站在陌生的十字路口，身體完全不聽使喚的東倒西歪。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPQXLxDTIr
我瞧向一個方向好像有絲微亮光，踉蹌的扶著墻一步步蹭過去。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdD5E3GSKLy
然而每一步走下去都像是赤腳踩在分布細針的砧板之上，那種滅頂的疼痛叫還在昏沉的自己瞬間清醒百倍。我也終於認清了這條街道是如此的熟悉，而盡頭的那間還亮燈的店鋪就是曾經光顧過無數次的，留有過多我和武的記憶…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwryyPGaPWE
第一次接吻、親熱、慟哭、坦誠的——50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOrFMX208J
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfSTuVbE6y
『山本壽司店。』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmRLgtRL2S
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我和他，自從高中離開并盛之後就再未回來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzxMz8rpU9
即使是所謂的校慶五十年，甚至是他父親死去的時候。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dReqPl7Te
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這片土地，太過可怕。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXz7OI8Lzc
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我停下腳步。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRVHLBZtb6
站在店門口，從裡面傳來熱鬧的勸酒之聲。不時幾聲哈哈大笑將街道的死寂去除的精光。我卻意外的有了稍許的躊躇。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo65jwERJLt
這并不是簡單的回到十年前，雖然或許一切只是我的夢。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGr7BTC9lmW
拉開門前，考慮了無數種要講的第一句。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduYoaUgDMK
然而……50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxc8JYJLIA
『嘩啦——』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtUNm4jEyb
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZGEAzZ6qx
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「歡迎光臨！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgkUoyKhsc
一股熱氣撲面而來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfelAJGOAe
他根本和我原來設想的完全不同。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70Sdj20aoz
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沒有頹廢著蜷縮在床上，沒有渾身散髮惡臭，沒有髒亂樣子沒有狼狽過活，而是衣袋整齊的張羅著每個進店客人坐好吃好。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RS2K64o1D
只有十四歲的他像是他父親一樣熟練捏著手握壽司，打下手的學徒幫忙送往各個餐桌。鼎沸的人聲，從廚房膨脹出的熱蒸汽，將我的話語和他較我矮些的身影全部埋滅了下去。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFFyAszTu8
這家店在我記憶中閒置多年之後再迎來賓客滿座，雖然它也應該被看做曾經。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoez87FEqt
現在的山本武，沒有像十年後的世界只是一具冰冷尸體，也不如我想的只在一門心思打著棒球，更不是修行般躲起來苦練劍術。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelt7A3duow
只是某個平靜的晚上，在棒球隊訓練結束之後，在自家店裡打打下手。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGCVoNlzIm
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFs5JzwVawG
耳邊是一直銘記著的，他在父親死後講給我的話。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1paxty2384
「我只是想要繼承父親的遺志，延續這家壽司店的存在而已。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIbJkhqWJx
「如果雲雀可以和我走，離開彭格列是遲早的事。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQz7jMERB4
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfdT2KZVXW
我怎麼可能和你走。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKUlthOOQ2
我必須在你自私離開之後，將原本你該承擔的責任一同攬過來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lS6zm29vm
你的天真給我帶來了多少的麻煩你知道麼，山本武。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPHBkGWdcY
現在，你也可以理直氣壯的將自己生命結束。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymre5mei0y
然後堅信我會替你收拾這些殘局？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZ2QgDgUsO
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQZbfUMOYq
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目標、理想，這些對於自己來說如此生僻的字眼，卻漫灌著大腦。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwruTkem8Pl
沒有珍視的人，活起來的確輕鬆地很。自己無需體會「守護」這個詞所蘊含的艱辛，在記憶里唯一刻骨銘心存在過的身影只有雲雀恭彌。只要順從著自身的意愿，堅持阻擋者必死的決心就可以。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTg3NUt1ygd
但是，我是否像山本武一樣擁有這樣一個避風港，即使在外丟盡臉面，即使只剩空行囊也可以包容自己，寬恕自己。留給自己一個安逸過活的時空。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7Ll2IQVjx
永遠屬於故鄉的人并不是我而是山本武，他才是并盛町的寵兒。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiRbMAsA0a
但是當看到你的眼睛里在面對父親那唯一的遺產時所流露出的溫柔笑容，我又企圖強留你在在異國的土地上。自己竟是如此的矛盾著…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBf8CEO6ujK
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKO5hBXTRY
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不知何時我已經坐在最靠前的位子上，抬頭便撞上他無垢的笑。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAzNRBIOin
「客人請問需要點些什麽？」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MXPlrQ6y5
修長的手指捻著菜單，晶亮的瞳孔中映著我的局促神情。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOovZQg2l9
十年間彼此樣貌都有改變，我卻仍可以憑藉這種獨有的氣息確定是山本。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeX2UdDS3N6
然而，他卻無法認出是我…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNNk1LQUGn
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但認不得……可以稱得上是好事吧。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0IWw8p2pC
假設你無法捲進這場殺戮遊戲，或許可以創造出平行世界中那個一生只是個壽司店老闆、或是出色職業棒球選手的山本武。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHSw4LT7sv
如果這是最好的落幕方式。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDLHAlu5Oa
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沒有回答這位青澀少年，我站起身扔下少許茶錢大步流星的走向出口迅速拉門離開，保證不做出惹人注意的奇異舉止。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmYkFbPvJc
看到這樣的你便不虛此行，我也可以放心離開了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dMJGRx6S7
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縱然被稱為天生的殺手，縱使被喚作最有悟性的劍士。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjXoXf0Zbw
其實在有你的景致里并不適合搭配上血肉殘卷和冷漠尖銳。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJv7tqNQUK
像之前的，學校的劍道場、水池邊的棒球場。那些地方更像是可以保存那種可吸引我的你的身影。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruW342NVYO
可惜的是我現在才終於懂了這道理。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUdsc8kU8H
一切都已經晚了是嗎…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3DT1y370X
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加快腳步，我逃似的飛奔在街上。像是正踩踏在鋪滿「什麽時候才能改變」「想要回頭」等等一系列的語句的泥濘崎嶇小路上，綿延不絕的雨擊打在身上卻感覺得到溫暖。在這樣快要臨近夏日的泥土草木氣息之中，雨水與淚水厚厚糊住我睜不開的雙眼。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytOQMyxOQv
一下子失去平衡，我重重的摔在地上。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6uOLGSf5A
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8ncdw7XPD
或許未來，往後的十年、二十年里，只可以看著你笑由心生的臉，再無法在你今後生命留下任何痕跡。我卻可以了無牽掛拿起殺人武器奮力無情的揮舞，任憑多少生命葬身與此冰冷下都不會留有絲毫猶豫躊躇。 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxHrvlEVBB
因為可以有理所應當的理由將叫做「守護」皮囊套上，可以無需顧忌那些視線波及不到的範圍內、有關於你的安危。將你無情與嗜血的另一面人格只封存在我這裡。所以在自己死去之前，我都會奮力抵抗你任何有可能回歸到那個無情世界的機會。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJJhbhjHh2
將來的日子里要止住無能的眼淚，將笑容留在臉上啊。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssEntcEBOI
如果是為我而微笑，就永遠離開我身邊吧。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJAk3NBb6K
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50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5zg1snkKQ
「雲雀！」 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolJ7WQ6BLW
身後有人叫著我的名字。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76jGtjPzKJ
是他的聲音，但只是我的幻聽吧…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhJmpFsHWr
像是甩開粘人的雨水一般，我搖頭丟掉正在滋生的多餘情感。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl2r3mgJI7
「雲雀！雲雀！」 我踉蹌的爬起來，針狀的細雨刺痛了每處關節。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8R7We459i
和我腳下鼓點相同的跑步聲響混同著水聲聒噪著逐漸靠近。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHQToSKBXI
好想就這樣回頭撲到他的懷裡，那種令人著迷的溫度…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAxqWL7DVk
但克制住回頭的慾望，我只是更加快了逃離的速度。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFb5TyryqM
越來越密集且急切的雨點墜在肩膀上炸開來的浪花干擾了聽覺，眼前白花花的一切都令人眩暈。不知這條路一直逃下去會是通向何方，最好是永遠被捲進時間的渦旋迷失了才好。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTL1bV6z85
永遠都不要回來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibk75jH3D8
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其實我是說謊的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXIGkdMQ9z
「吶，雲雀，想要變得強大就必須要有守護的什麽才行是吧？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4yAvgTeHm
即使知道你有把握不被任何人傷害，即使你已優秀到可以獨當一面甚至擊敗我。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpw9gvdSnu
「是什麽都不需要去守護、無後顧之憂才能贏得戰鬥，笨。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2bEfjh3Pa
一同執行任務時，仍舊管不住自己的視線，總是擔憂的尋找你的身影，觀察你身邊的情況。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42zLR7qQtG
「什麽嘛…我是爲了守護雲雀才去變強大的。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnJE5X8Ny7
倘若出現你措手不及應付不能的狀況，就可以保證在第一時間咬殺那群草食動物。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnX5RRXzm9S
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8A6Ykl0MAQ
其實山本武你也知道吧，那爲什麽不來拆穿我？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTzFaVngo9
現在你不在了，這世上就再沒有人能夠識破雲雀恭彌在十年間因你而生的改變。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELtBUeQxBy
也再沒有可能放縱一直以來苦苦壓制的灼燒來熔化面具上的冷漠了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwi8YU524w6
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa0hMDAQpm
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身體越來越輕，不受自己的控制開始逐漸懸浮起來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2ocGfSIVU
腳下的景物逐漸變小，連同那個十四歲的山本武。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15ixT0NqsF
俯下身我瞧著隱藏在大片大片雨屏之下模糊的臉，卻格外清楚看出他的慌亂。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDCOwD8wgC
那一張一合的嘴唇吐露出有關於我的三個音節，是時隔半年之久我又一次聽到了他涼爽并暖心的獨有嗓音寵溺的叫著我：50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWaNekyvoI
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCCfNa58L9
「雲雀——」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQvrHUlctS
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黑暗中耳邊傳來一陣刺耳鳴聲。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90yLvJCYtS
劇烈疼痛著的身體提醒著：「你已經回來了」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4eUifBBa1
緊接著，我可以感覺得到自己胸腔包裹著的某個跳動物質做著慣性運動緩步停下了。好像有許多人圍在床邊，夾雜著哭聲、雨聲。但是自己……很冷、很困。看樣子，好像馬上要去另一個世界了呢…呵。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqOvPnPCbM
武，依靠著我的器官就可以好好的活著了吧？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LO0aj1Ald
隱約間好似又聽到你熟悉的那把聲音親昵的叫喚。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBSxyjBGlE
多麼希望這一次并不是幻覺…50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCycyEDujGG
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54REWtN6AI
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50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMomwZZiT2
>>50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQTwtaI102
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OiF40zfYZ
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxfeoQL70I
「對不起，沒有你的同意就做了這樣的事。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6QDeHqxFo
但可以為你死去，這是我的幸福。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI47NMKmB4c
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhL7gEiUOb
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡir6pZYs6XO
「兩個人住的房間，現在還是那個樣子。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdlP0Pa6cg
門沒有鎖，總是感覺你好像會回來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4fRyzjdCR
你總是像我想的這樣，去了什麽地方了吧。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LGhsmJHAk
但現在像是看得到你正開門的姿態，50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3WwbKS2ib
明天，你一定就會回來了吧。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrTOVcQQ7V
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bMf9y96Ry
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完
