Hello. It is I, the piratic feline captain, Blackwhiskers. I used to be a pirate wannabe who wasted important moments of his life watching pirate cartoons. Now I am a captain of the Queen Cath, who, with my loving fiance, a mermaid cat named Martha, has various dangerous and usually deadly exploits.
My entire crew became very sick one day. I've no idea why, but it could be because of the Sunfish Jones we ate. Finally, after a great search, my navigator found some land that could barely be seen because of the dense fog. The land gently crashed into our boat, allowing safe passage to the island.
The landscaped was filled with skyscrapers, buildings, cars, and more cats. "Land ho!" I exclaimed, alarming my crewmate to lower the bridge. As I took my first step, I was greeted by a biker cat. He wore sunglasses, was covered by a jacket and was riding a bike. "Welcome to America, my bros. I'm Biker Bill," he greeted us with a lax, calming, "surfer dude" tone.
"We were just here for food and shelter for a few days," I informed Bill. "I'm sorry, dudes, but...I can't allow you," Bill stated sadly. "Huh? Why not?" Martha asked Bill. Bill suddenly shifted his look on a building that suddenly burned down. "Oh gosh," he said in shock.
We saw a giant walking, smiling bear smashing the building, full of cats inside. The tower burned to the ground, leaving no survivors. We ought to do something, but the bear then walked away...slowly, fading into the smoke. "Crew. We know what to do," I said as I looked at my still sick crew. They slowly recovered, which, however, was followed by each of them throwing up. In a few minutes they were healthy again.
"Aye-aye, captain," each of the crew responded, which actually made me remember what I just said a few minutes ago.
They prepared their anchors, my lady Martha was backflipping, I prepared my cannon, and Bill...well, it looks like he didn't prepare anything. The bear came back again. But this time, he was surrounded by an army of stickmen, snakes, and dogs. Citizens started panicking, screaming and running, soon falling into their demise. We started throwing anchors and cannonballs. The bear clawed us, knocking us back. We were surrounded by even more dogs, snakes and stickmen. It was most likely a dead end for us. We couldn't escape from unchangeable fate...
...or can we?
Bill readied his motorcycle, then started zooming at the speed of sound. He attacked the army one by one...but how?
Now I see: his motorcycle has retractable spikes in each of the wheels. He was sure to save us from nearly certain death. However, the bear was still there. It called in an army of pigs, hippos, penguins and gorillas. We tried to fend them off, but there were too many. I started praying to God and even left some cat food for Him to eat. The cat food started floating and shaking, which stopped time, except me. The cat food started to ricochet into the sky. I was very sure God heard my prayer. He zapped the dogs, snakes, stickmen, hippos, pigs, penguins, gorillas and the bear. At the very least, the bear was merely weakened.
What is with this bear? I thought to myself. Surely he must have been upgraded in some way. The bear clawed us again, painfully striking everyone, except Bill, who dodged. My fiance and crew were hopeless, so I had to take matters into my own paws.
I fired cannonballs at a very rapid rate, which almost made the bear resort to retreating. Bill started poking the bear again painfully with his spiky, rolling tyre. The bear eventually fell on its feet, its body crashing into the ground. The bear was still smiling, but its eyes closed.
"YES! VICTORY!" I shouted as I found some money the bear dropped. Everyone cheered. Everyone who was alive, at least.
We returned to our ship. But Bill wanted to join in. I wasn't really sure a motorcycle could even fit with a boat, but we allowed him in. Soon, we started sailing to a destination that we may not know.
At dawn, while we still slept, waves were crashing onto the boat, which made a loud bang when it hit the land. It alarmed everybody, except Bill, who was busy drinking some water.
"Land ho!" I said again as we lowered the drawbridge. What kind of land did we go to this time?
Later, I saw a bruised, tired cat holding a sword and a shield. He panted a lot, then fainted. "Is everything ship-shape there?" I assured the cat. The cat groaned without answer. "The...the seal..." he silently cried out in shame. "H-How couldn't I beat it?" he cried again.
A seal? I remember such a horrible being. His name was Sir Seal, a dangerous seal who dyed his body red. Soon I saw stickmen coming out of a coliseum, staring at us as if they wanted to brawl.
And they did.
We started firing our anchors and cannonballs. My love was still backflipping, smacking the stickmen with great violent force. But that wasn't all.
Sir Seal. He was here.
He gnashed his horrendous fangs at each and every one of my crew. We knocked him back one, twice, thrice, until he was fatigued and fainted. After collecting our treasure, we got restless and some of the crew started roughhousing with each other. "Set course to Monaco," Bill said while drowsy. I didn't really know what kind of place Monaco is, but Bill navigating it for me made it easier. It's like he was a captain before.
As we arrived, he got out his bicycle and said, "This'll be quick. I just need to get some gas." He slowly drove his motorcycle down the lonely, quiet sand. Suddenly, one kangaroo with boxing gloves starting lunging at him. In two hits, the kangaroo fainted after Bill rolled his very sharp tires.
More kangaroos, dogs and snakes started coming out of nowhere, trying to attack Bill, but to no avail. His strength is unparalleled, I thought.
A few minutes later after my crewmates were eating and singing gruesome songs, Bill got on board and brought with him some gasoline. "Don't ask," he ordered.
We were going to have a long trip. "I'll go look for some land," Martha declared as she dove into the salty sea, swiftly exerting force as she swam.
I wonder where we'll go next.
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