昨天谭沁帮着约了李医生做治疗给穆禹请了假。穆禹又在晚上约了祁悯吃晚饭。早上穆禹起床后就直奔李医生的诊所。
“你最近在拍DID相关的电影?”
“是的。岳导找我,我觉得挺适合我的就接了。很像。”穆禹表情淡淡的。
李卿很敏锐,从这一丝平淡中察觉到了隐隐的回避。
“既然这样,这两个月里有什么想和我分享的吗?”李卿倒了一杯水放在了穆禹的面前。
穆禹拿起了水,手指轻轻的摩挲着杯子的边缘“前几天,结合热提前了。有个人帮了我,明明有机会伤害我但是很温柔。他没有,他战胜了本能。最近拍戏很累但是睡不着。”
“有个人?alpha?”
“嗯。想追我但是我今天约了他打算拒绝。”
“为什么呢?”
“我没有要谈恋爱的打算。我也没资格被他喜欢。我不能生育。”
李卿看着穆禹手上收紧的手,轻轻的皱眉,一瞬即逝。“你可以试着接受别人对你的好。生育并不是一个阻碍。”
“你知道我的,李医生,我不会谈恋爱。我也不会有家。我的家一直都不曾有何必奢望。太贪心我会什么都不剩的。”
李卿无奈地推眼镜“你有时候的想法过于负面了。过度的排斥感情是会加重你的抑郁的。”
穆禹转头看向李卿“就是这样。药我一直在吃但是没什么用处。”
“我想从新给你做个评估开药。”
“嗯。”穆禹看着李卿的背影并不意外。他知道自己最近的负面情绪一直很多。他调节不了。
“填一下。”李卿把问卷递给穆禹。
“好了。”
“问你几个问题。你最近失眠加重了?”
“是。”
“做噩梦吗?以前的事?”
“嗯。”
“好,我重新开药给你。安眠药尽量少吃,你体质本就特殊所以少吃。”
“嗯。”
氢溴酸西酞普兰片,轻微的成瘾性,轻度抑郁症患者的药物。他从进圈的第一年就开始服用。从中度抑郁到轻度抑郁,慢慢变好,却在这几年突然停在了轻度抑郁似乎拒绝痊愈。今天测试后还发现了轻度焦虑不安的现象。心底的裂痕一直紧紧的抓住他的脚,原以为的解脱,其实只是自欺欺人。
拿了药穆禹赴约前往订好的餐厅。一路上穆禹看着因为天色渐渐暗下而开启的路灯有些羡慕。
餐厅里的祁悯异常兴奋,从昨天接到邀约开始就把衣服都挑了一遍,最终决定今天去买新的。新的衣装和精心打扮和搭配的服饰,祁悯在包厢里静待佳人。祁悯觉得自己现在是最幸福的人了,从昨天开始就是。
“不好意思,我来迟了。”穆禹一进包厢就看到了精致打扮的祁悯。
“是我早到了。”祁悯起身把准备好的玫瑰薰衣草花束给穆禹。穆禹接过道了声谢。
“这是菜单你看看有什么你喜欢吃的。我点了一份海鲜意面和三文鱼披萨。”
“我来一份牛排就可以了。”穆禹轻声告诉服务员。
祁悯按耐住性子跟穆禹聊着。
“我其实今天约你是为了感谢上次的帮助。”穆禹突然定定的看着祁悯的眼睛。
祁悯心里一咯噔,大事不妙。“嗯,这不是什么大事。”
“还有就是我没有谈恋爱的打算,结婚也是。我不会跟任何人共度余生。”
祁悯没想到穆禹会那么直接,自己本想温水煮青蛙结果青蛙转头一绷开回了池塘还洒了他一身水。“我的确想追你,但我不逼你,不会让你不适的。”
穆禹微微一笑,这个小带上了一丝的自嘲,祁悯看着很不舒服。“我因为体质的关系不能生育。没办法有孩子,我从小到大没有家,我也不想和人有一个家所以我今天就是想跟你说清楚,不要在我身上浪费时间。”
穆禹的这一番话在祁悯的眼里有很多情绪心疼、慌乱、易碎、珍视、想守护他。
“你……”祁悯一时间百感交集不知怎么开口。这是他从来没见过的穆禹,易碎就像玻璃一样,周身带着颓废自嘲。
“嗯。我说完了。吃完这饭我就算还清了,我们不在有牵系。”穆禹没等祁悯反应过来就已经说完这一席话,饭菜上桌两人也静静地吃着,双方无言。
一顿饭吃完,穆禹要走了。“我不在意的。”
穆禹有点愣。
“我不在意你能不能生孩子,我也不在意你的体质。我会尽全力支持守护着你。”祁悯脸上又挂起穆禹熟悉的笑容。穆禹一阵恍惚,脑子里回响着李卿最后的话“你真的可以试一试进入一段感情。”
「我不配。」
穆禹没有任何反应转头走了。身后的祁悯自闭了,他坐在椅子上“啊啊啊啊!搞砸了!都怪你!太明显了啦!被拒绝了……”
祁悯烦躁的揉乱了自己的发之后又打开前置摄像头整理,期间好几次愣神,穆禹今天的状态很不对,或者说可能这才是穆禹本来的样子。
214Please respect copyright.PENANAXFoVnw1jIP
214Please respect copyright.PENANAotraFZAAIR
214Please respect copyright.PENANAX21hkgqFkc
214Please respect copyright.PENANAvnPuF5aZXD
214Please respect copyright.PENANAIpFF3eGkE6
214Please respect copyright.PENANA6tdT7AnIme
214Please respect copyright.PENANAFVNBjhWnEK
214Please respect copyright.PENANA2Q5SM4I5IT
214Please respect copyright.PENANAk9WrdvOukW
214Please respect copyright.PENANAH9JIqageRG
214Please respect copyright.PENANAlmcYWahVRe
214Please respect copyright.PENANAFeLcKmEFtv
214Please respect copyright.PENANAtocSrbCMHo
214Please respect copyright.PENANAmNO5qri2xk
214Please respect copyright.PENANAHfcUJpFI9h
214Please respect copyright.PENANA2nTPcvXp8P
214Please respect copyright.PENANACHyqXxIE69
214Please respect copyright.PENANAYGnO3BLiex
214Please respect copyright.PENANA76zYKX3baX
214Please respect copyright.PENANASJ0QJeqzZM
214Please respect copyright.PENANAvURYHWQ5tV
214Please respect copyright.PENANANdeNdO4SHc
214Please respect copyright.PENANAUf8hKVqmmE
214Please respect copyright.PENANAbWfFl9mnrB
214Please respect copyright.PENANAl0Ce8WIkuj
214Please respect copyright.PENANALk2iYhT46P
214Please respect copyright.PENANA5uCcnmKxnW
214Please respect copyright.PENANAPsnKTzPmMB
214Please respect copyright.PENANAsPUCJywyLo
214Please respect copyright.PENANAHXaAP6STld
214Please respect copyright.PENANA3bYGp90xeB
214Please respect copyright.PENANAJLvOmy8fcJ
214Please respect copyright.PENANAVYok51mq9e
214Please respect copyright.PENANAjRcXzpBEQc
214Please respect copyright.PENANAXwdkNjHO3w
214Please respect copyright.PENANA9PvZAzyJV2
214Please respect copyright.PENANA8L4AYPZxWz
214Please respect copyright.PENANAGF4hhQBvVs
214Please respect copyright.PENANAR66FLWWO31
214Please respect copyright.PENANA1WdGELL9c5
214Please respect copyright.PENANANUqqTsD5cL
214Please respect copyright.PENANATcnJ8LY0lh
214Please respect copyright.PENANAgVQawpqGvE
214Please respect copyright.PENANAgATe6DSR3S
214Please respect copyright.PENANAFuUBDuc1yN
214Please respect copyright.PENANA3NdXhADfDj
214Please respect copyright.PENANAtp88LnCuEa
214Please respect copyright.PENANAYhReevhdmc
214Please respect copyright.PENANAHL0gR62Hrs
214Please respect copyright.PENANAoPO9QPjlg0
214Please respect copyright.PENANAwzewWxK2dc
214Please respect copyright.PENANAnTjkCmkFjj
214Please respect copyright.PENANA23k8FQwFU3
214Please respect copyright.PENANAdGNzCk3snQ
214Please respect copyright.PENANASEypntwwh4
214Please respect copyright.PENANAERSKQoT1oT
214Please respect copyright.PENANARAVZWwkZNi
214Please respect copyright.PENANAF6ODtmIIey
214Please respect copyright.PENANAZ29sIPyFXK
214Please respect copyright.PENANAEMP9Z98eAO
214Please respect copyright.PENANAEw5bhZeZVD
214Please respect copyright.PENANApexiU3JEnD
214Please respect copyright.PENANAXDjFbAkWg5
214Please respect copyright.PENANAgjXQyaV6fh
214Please respect copyright.PENANAhVx7Ll4XPV
214Please respect copyright.PENANAs0Q7XYfYhp
214Please respect copyright.PENANAAtzFMAGbe4
214Please respect copyright.PENANA7otvVFDIkH
214Please respect copyright.PENANAYYIxefUV1y
214Please respect copyright.PENANAc03oKsh73z
214Please respect copyright.PENANA6gkK0NPWgR
214Please respect copyright.PENANAgJSlNHRySi
214Please respect copyright.PENANAZpyNPfmeO7
214Please respect copyright.PENANARAw5dBeoZs
214Please respect copyright.PENANANO4BwHwk7t
214Please respect copyright.PENANAnf9hfpWyJZ
214Please respect copyright.PENANAlVykHjguMJ
214Please respect copyright.PENANApECYIbUBN8
214Please respect copyright.PENANAPLv5DSfo50
214Please respect copyright.PENANAE7IkAp9pIi
214Please respect copyright.PENANAfoDRvQp0tO
214Please respect copyright.PENANACi4NoZwEWY
214Please respect copyright.PENANAlZVA3a4oKJ
214Please respect copyright.PENANAgN3vOqURIi
214Please respect copyright.PENANAynb12woNEe
214Please respect copyright.PENANAq3ocIfrsDo
214Please respect copyright.PENANAonZBkVmjGv
214Please respect copyright.PENANA5PEMmeETTj
214Please respect copyright.PENANA61xwDNJ6M7
214Please respect copyright.PENANAWmnXopb9CN
214Please respect copyright.PENANA4oNMXnicy0
214Please respect copyright.PENANAbMAAEgXZQn
214Please respect copyright.PENANA2F66urHdpX
214Please respect copyright.PENANAoFZ6StN5Ul
214Please respect copyright.PENANA6F1NyYQUva
214Please respect copyright.PENANA8GZkULOArd
214Please respect copyright.PENANAy1vbphQqGF
214Please respect copyright.PENANAIHjC5ASvYQ
214Please respect copyright.PENANAvSxcNufQbn
214Please respect copyright.PENANAfxFmD2aCwJ
214Please respect copyright.PENANAEPVrS5rdHZ
214Please respect copyright.PENANAcim8rZc912
214Please respect copyright.PENANA49dsXHuKgO
214Please respect copyright.PENANAh0sr91KleT
214Please respect copyright.PENANAaRqkZWuu0L
214Please respect copyright.PENANAig0NeifQ07
214Please respect copyright.PENANAw58mHIvb4M
214Please respect copyright.PENANAfbooOgezo7
214Please respect copyright.PENANA3O3jYfNYcH
214Please respect copyright.PENANA5II54rqBeo
214Please respect copyright.PENANAHQDbnBKok5
214Please respect copyright.PENANAxWBXkhx5i4
214Please respect copyright.PENANAy5oFOGA13A
214Please respect copyright.PENANAw3L5zwWuKX
214Please respect copyright.PENANAsE5g5njaYm
214Please respect copyright.PENANAcdgw3gjmbC
214Please respect copyright.PENANAvDjA7qhx4V
214Please respect copyright.PENANAi5R9n1NbuP
214Please respect copyright.PENANAUwPclltttF
214Please respect copyright.PENANAVQMbSovewY
214Please respect copyright.PENANA6jsYNzKPCO
214Please respect copyright.PENANADQQfZTOjrF
214Please respect copyright.PENANA58OTfjJGiG
214Please respect copyright.PENANAwRg60bPcVY
214Please respect copyright.PENANAxOr5IeEASY
214Please respect copyright.PENANAf02LhBs6Vj
214Please respect copyright.PENANA3weEmUeH4U
214Please respect copyright.PENANAPdI1fND1E9
214Please respect copyright.PENANAfCDGzZOXRL
214Please respect copyright.PENANAKiVceu8MQg
214Please respect copyright.PENANApId1u9nMMa
214Please respect copyright.PENANAGjFmd1owuQ
214Please respect copyright.PENANA6g9gHF4UWN
214Please respect copyright.PENANA3sYlz3ju47
214Please respect copyright.PENANAbmAkv6RFPG
214Please respect copyright.PENANAgrN5AAR5b0
214Please respect copyright.PENANAM88pj2oNOM
214Please respect copyright.PENANAxefKMyTII4
214Please respect copyright.PENANAYN5YjlvSxV
214Please respect copyright.PENANA3XHBnVRXxV
214Please respect copyright.PENANABkQmWh3FMN
214Please respect copyright.PENANAHvE4HSYp1S
214Please respect copyright.PENANASgxZg7NPK5
214Please respect copyright.PENANAxhz6xBU6fa
214Please respect copyright.PENANAM6loBX8J8c
214Please respect copyright.PENANAuNLaEdsChd
214Please respect copyright.PENANACNJwaEdorj
214Please respect copyright.PENANAYDWPEEqrwe
214Please respect copyright.PENANANmzWEY4pfk
214Please respect copyright.PENANAxXQ9TmVfqB
214Please respect copyright.PENANAXTc2US4Mi1
214Please respect copyright.PENANAgSmPoMqzXB
214Please respect copyright.PENANAqN2shEOjih
214Please respect copyright.PENANAxPyPLvcL7H
214Please respect copyright.PENANAI4eerWEvz4
214Please respect copyright.PENANAbWpRtjnQUU
214Please respect copyright.PENANAwH8vC5d6Yg
214Please respect copyright.PENANAKFV8W5vNeo
214Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0ONBPzTwZ
214Please respect copyright.PENANAgL7YXpDJli
214Please respect copyright.PENANA7jDiLA6mBa
214Please respect copyright.PENANAczzm99FxI8
214Please respect copyright.PENANAzvceTqiPpg
214Please respect copyright.PENANAHmgBQtXUeE
214Please respect copyright.PENANAI4Gt8TVzzr
214Please respect copyright.PENANA2OnOvcT9YW
214Please respect copyright.PENANASiOCpiKIYV
214Please respect copyright.PENANAvVThDbOc2e
214Please respect copyright.PENANAJWrCYZKuBz
214Please respect copyright.PENANAZrbR6olSjp
214Please respect copyright.PENANAbbqM71EPEX
214Please respect copyright.PENANAFItrSgGu9o
214Please respect copyright.PENANAOumJdZxLUS
214Please respect copyright.PENANAJFr57Z6LzR
214Please respect copyright.PENANApUccebAVmG
214Please respect copyright.PENANAgyX8GmM8xM
214Please respect copyright.PENANAPiDUYZUkT9
214Please respect copyright.PENANAhdfvrarJv3
214Please respect copyright.PENANA1QUBtjRiZn
214Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1M9THCgq4
214Please respect copyright.PENANAaajLjamKtY
214Please respect copyright.PENANAGD2t6Eb5gR
214Please respect copyright.PENANAp9EdteVtfF
214Please respect copyright.PENANAzhAydJMB68
214Please respect copyright.PENANAqLKsg84QXn
214Please respect copyright.PENANAWaie4wnBBt
214Please respect copyright.PENANAIcLYrRG42I
214Please respect copyright.PENANAkVpcGYkBCq
祁悯想到着不知到是该开心还是伤心。不管如何有一点很坚定就是他会继续追穆禹。他的喜欢从来不是一时兴起而是蓄谋已久。
ns216.73.216.187da2