《最接近的陌生距離》(一) - 11

可以笑下都唔錯呀。不過呢個方法都係治標唔治本，即使Miss Wong今日笑到標晒眼水都好。第二朝起身，佢都係被唔同嘅煩惱困擾住。

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我每日除咗做個好學生外，就係諗計點令Miss Wong 開心啲。近排午息佢經常被低年級同學突擊問功課，搞到冇得休息同食飯。今日我就打算幫佢擋開晒啲細路，偷啲食飯時間返嚟比佢。

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點知⋯⋯

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「班長，你而家要幫我做一件事。」

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我一去教員室嗰層見到, 招呼都未打，Miss Wong 就打斷我說話，佢個表情好少有咁焦慮。

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「啊⋯⋯係咩事？」

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「幫我去買Lunch. 唉⋯⋯呢幾日我忙到飯都冇時間食。」Miss Wong 一邊講一邊塞成舊水比我：「你地班衰仔囉，近排欠交又多返。我上司唔高興呀！」

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「我好乖呀！Miss嘅功課我交足架…..」

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「喂！」佢個表情好似鬧緊我咪得意忘形，佢瞪左我一眼，再說：「我一陣Lunch後就開會。我而家要去追阿偉啲功課！佢今日Lunch點都要死返份作文比我！⋯⋯係呢⋯⋯你知唔知阿偉喺邊？」

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「啊！佢而家喺操場打緊波呀！」我好想奸笑出聲。Sor呀兄弟，兄弟同女人，我呢一刻我揀左女人。

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Miss Wong嘴角笑一笑，令我好眼前一亮，我話：「咁⋯⋯我幫你去小食部買飯啦。」

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「下？唔好啦，食到驚啦！」Miss:「你知我食開邊啲架？上星期留你地堂嗰時我食左一間外賣⋯⋯」Miss Wong望一望錶，就好急話：「總之就嗰間啦！我做嘢先啦！你唔好買錯呀！記你缺點呀！」

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Miss Wong 一枝箭咁走左。

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我心諗⋯⋯我點知你想食咩呀死港女！!屌⋯⋯計劃唔成功之餘，仲要比佢當左工人咁洗。

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「冇⋯⋯⋯買錯呀嘛？」

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我戰戰兢兢咁將外賣放左喺Miss Wong前面。

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Miss Wong翹住腳坐喺位度，好似Yo Yo 黑佢老公面嗰個樣咁。

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屌，即係買錯。

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Miss Wong唔出聲，我又唔敢出聲想轉身射個三分波走人。當我轉身嗰下，佢好冰冷又惡咁叫我：「班長!」

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我好驚咁回一回望。

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「今日放學你要過黎幫我手準備中文週嘅嘢！」佢翹緊嘅腳緩慢咁換腳，令我有一秒分左心望左過去。

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「收唔收到！」Miss Wong 好似知我望左佢隻腳一下，好惡咁叫住我。

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「收到！！」

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放學後。

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我又去Sit留堂班。呢排Miss慢慢喺Matthew離開嘅難過中恢復返嚟。佢個人有返活力，鬧人嘅威力好似仲勁咗添。

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終於，最後一個留堂做功課嘅同學都走左。 Miss示意我將啲中文週物資搬過去佢個位隔離比佢檢查下我做成點。 14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XbAlMoN1M

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「喂——！你——！」Miss隨手拎起一啲剪好左嘅資料就好嬲咁講：「有冇搞錯呀！剪得咁樣衰嘅！！點貼出黎呀？」

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佢怒啤左我一眼，Miss就好累咁嘆左口氣，成個人趴左喺枱度。唉⋯⋯激嬲咗佢添。拿拿聲講句笑話先啦——

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但係我聽見佢好用力咁踏左一下腳，嚇到我唔敢出聲。呢下力度我知道佢情緒爆緊，當佢抬返起頭時，佢已經面紅耳赤，準備爆我獲金。

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「你剪少少野都⋯⋯」Miss Wong想鬧又唔想鬧咁，可能佢都知我其實冇做錯事，佢知道我本身就係SEN，小手肌唔發達搞到字又醜、剪野又一塌糊塗。但佢忍又忍唔住，雙眼忍左泡眼淚，就黎流出黎。

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唔係下話，平時好惡好強勢嘅女王大人，竟然想喺學生面前喊？其實我見過幾次佢想喊嘅，但每次佢一係好快冷靜，一係就自己行開。但面對面咁忍住泡眼淚嘅都係第一次見。

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Miss Wong 知道自己就黎要喺學生面前喊，於是行左去窗邊抖下氣，望下遠景。

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過左一陣我聽到Miss Wong 哽咽講：「六點啦，你返屋企啦。」

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「Miss，對唔住呀。我幫你再做過呀。我今日留到幾耐都得架。」14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LIe6eTISg

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Miss Wong 搖一搖下手，就話：「唔使，其實剪黎都冇意思。中文週不嬲吸引唔到同學參加。我唔想你為左我啲無聊工作浪費時間。」

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「咁又係呀，年年中文週又真係幾悶。」我停一停，諗一諗，又講：「其實年年啲老師都hea做啦，我覺得你⋯⋯hea左佢都得架唧。」

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Miss Wong 回個頭黎，眼神好不滿。不過眼框裡面嘅眼淚想流又唔流，又嬲嬲地嘅樣⋯⋯真係好可愛。

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「我唔係你可以話hea就hea呀。你唔明架喇。你係學生唔洗知咁多嘢。你返屋企啦。」

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任我點努力氹佢，根本冇辦法幫佢分擔到工作壓力。睇嚟中文週活動對佢來講唔係搏好成績咁簡單，於是我同佢講：「啱嘅，老師點可以學我地做野hea架？ Miss，多口問句呀，如果今次中文週你搞唔掂，你係咪會好大鑊？」

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「試用期。」Miss Wong嘆左口氣：「中文週活動係我過唔過到試用期其中一個嘅指標。」佢難過咁望咗我一眼：「你知架⋯⋯我嘅事⋯⋯唉⋯⋯算啦，你唔洗知咁多。你返屋企啦。」

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「咁唔得啦！咁大件事唔幫手點得呀？」

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Miss Wong 眼紅紅咁用好懷疑嘅眼神望住我：「咁你可以點幫我呀？今次唔係幫我搞下壁布，幫我追人功課咁簡單喎！係全校活動呀！」

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「全校活動，咁即係要玩啦！哈哈⋯⋯Miss你真係問啱人。我係學生，我可以答到你我地最想玩咩。老實講，呢啲貼壁報板唔Work架。冇人睇架。垃圾黎架。」

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「你夠啦吓。」Miss Wong不滿我踩緊佢嘅工作，眼神一厲。

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「你地個個老師都係咁。以為你地諗嘅野就對我地最好！其實我地好簡單之嘛，兩個字：好玩！你本身想喺Lunch搞？」

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「一星期五日嘅Lunch活動。」Miss Wong再補充：「負責老師各自負責兩至三個活動。我負責其中兩日活動。即係要諗兩個活動。」

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我諗一諗，以前喺青年中心都玩過唔少活動應該可以抄下橋。

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「其他老師打算點搞？」

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「都係書法比賽、朗誦、問答比賽呢啲。」

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「咁食得屎啦。」

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「死仔！尊重啲啦！」Miss Wong 唔耐煩講：「咁你諗到未呀？」

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「哈哈哈哈！嗱！你要多謝我啦！」

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「講啦死仔！」

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「第一個活動，玩Check Point! 例如將一啲字拆開，啲部首喺學校周圍放，要班友仔走暈全校咁解下迷咁囉。中文組有冇錢比你搞活動？」

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「有呀。」

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「咁得啦。嗱!準備定啲禮物。吸引同學去玩。」

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Miss沈一沈默，點左一下頭，好似幾認同。佢又話「咁第二個呢？」

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「哈哈⋯⋯」我好得戚咁笑：「搞棟篤笑。每人五至十分鐘講關於中文同中國文化嘅棟篤笑。」

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「吓？得唔得架！」Miss：「講棟篤笑呀？」

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「得架啦！黃子華都係咁架啦！信我喎盈姐！嗱!最多我而家表演一個比你睇⋯⋯」

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如是者，我唔理佢反對，我即席表演棟篤笑比Miss Wong睇。

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「漢字係好博大精深。如果要講最重要嘅字就係「愛」！世間萬物都係圍繞呢一個「愛」字！。點解人類會繁殖？因為人會做『愛』囉！」

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「喂啊！作死你咩！不過⋯⋯」Miss Wong忍唔住就「噗！」一聲笑咗出嚟：「哈哈⋯⋯嘖！死低B仔！唔得呀！出唔到街架！」

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「咁我再度多個囉⋯⋯你知唔知中文字其實有分性別？」

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「係咩？」Miss苦笑。

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「4男1女！就係——」

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「謝子匡！你咪借啲意講粗口呀！！我記你小過呀！」

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「但你笑喎！」

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「冇⋯⋯冇⋯⋯哈哈⋯⋯冇啊！」

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「你仲笑？仲笑？！」

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成間課室充滿住Miss笑聲。

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其實第二個活動我真係鳩吹水。我其實唔係想幫Miss Wong諗下橋。我只係當左佢係一般女仔咁，見佢唔開心想佢笑返。見佢壓力好大，就幫手分擔下。

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我只想好好去愛護佢。

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「Miss Wong！我都話咗架啦！」

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「又點呀？」

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「你唔開心時，我總有方法令你開心，令你笑。」

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我講完之後慢慢收起笑容，用一個好認真嘅眼神望佢。好想講佢知，我係真心。真心想佢感覺到同我一齊時候係好輕鬆、好開心。

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Miss Wong 表情呆咗一下，然後微微一笑，輕輕咁鬧一聲——

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「低B仔！」

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最後Miss Wong真係有採納我個建議，而棟篤笑環節直頭比我負責埋。係就係會好辛苦嘅不過我覺得係值！

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為左可以方便同Miss Wong喺課後溝通交代下進度，所以我地交換咗電話號碼。然後我得閒send啲無聊野比Miss Wong睇，雖然都係已讀不回多。但當佢簡單回一兩句我都夠我開心左成日。當然唔少得借啲意問下佢呢樣野啦。

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「Miss, 黎緊會有套戲上，阿偉佢地唔陪我，你可唔⋯⋯」

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「唔得。」

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「吓？我都未問完。」

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「講好左呢個電話只可以傾學習上嘅嘢喎。」

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「哦。」

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唉，我真係好想約佢去街！不過我明嘅，師生戀始終係禁忌，加上Matthew件事搞到Miss Wong好煩。佢應該好難再越過呢個界線。退一百萬步講，以Miss Wong地位同收入，又點會睇我睇得上眼呢？

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「你真係想玩粗口Gag? 。」 Miss Wong放低份稿有啲擔心咁講：「你出事我要負責架。再諗過啦！」

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Miss Wong推返份稿比我，可能因為熟左嘅關係，佢冇以前咁兇狠。不過佢今日狀態係比之前更差。我又唔知點問，又唔知可唔可以問。只見佢周不時咁望下電話訊息，對於我嘅棟篤笑演練又唔多留心。啲精心為佢設計嘅笑位佢又唔識笑。最後佢自己行開左去左洗手間，就留低左部電話。

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喺我左度右度篇稿時，Miss Wong 部電話震左一下。我八掛咁拎上手望左一眼。

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「謝Sir: 小測卷收唔齊。要催佢地交，一定要有家長簽名。」原來又係工作野。

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過左冇耐又震多一下。

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「Miss Cheng：你嗰班缺席嘅同學要補交家長信。請跟進。」啲工作嘢浪接浪，難怪Miss Wong今好似好累咁。

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一秒後又震。

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「周Sir: 我地同一個地方做嘢，但好似唔常見咁。不如今晚去飲嘢呀！我架車泊遠啲接你。而家我走得。」咦咦咦喂！周Sir仲未放棄咁喎！

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震一震。

14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlrXkfTX3D

「黎Sir: 我知你壓力大，你要保重呀。不如聽日星期六同你散下心呀。中文週有冇野我可以幫到手？」諗起佢柒下柒下咁，講埋啲咁嘅嘢真係打晒冷震！

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震一震。

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「Vick: 你知我搏殺緊架，我都係想搵多啲錢唧。得啦，你係要發脾氣就發飽佢！我真係忍夠你啲細路女脾氣！你走啦！我唔阻你啦！你都唔好再阻住我！」

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咦？又係Vick?!講到分手咁⋯⋯Vick先係Miss Wong 男朋友？

佢地嘈緊交喎！

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「喂。你做咩拎住左我部電話？」

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Miss Wong 喺我背後叫我，嚇死，佢幾時返左黎架？

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我即刻放低佢部手機，話：「佢成日震，嘈住我度稿。我諗住睇下點熄或者埋擺去第二度唧。」

14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRUtzwPMEe

Miss Wong拿拿聲拎起電話，望左最後一個訊息之後就行左出課室。無耐又返返黎，見到佢眼紅紅咁，我已經估到佢同Vick呢位疑似正印男朋友個關係已經係咁先。

14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ToAR7DfK1

我知道女王大人喺學生面前係要面子。而且佢呢刻需要私人空間，於是我特登唔再望佢，就舉手話：「Miss我想去個洗手間，頭先諗到包笑死人嘅gag, 一陣返黎表演你睇。」我唔等佢回應我，我就行出課室。喺順手關門之前，我回頭一望課室，見到Miss Wong 已經成個人謝晒趴低左喺老師枱度⋯⋯陰公，佢成個人震晒⋯⋯

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呢一刻我唔敢走得遠，我怕有啲戇鳩仔或者校工上黎騷擾Miss Wong。我知道呢個係大好時機安慰佢搏好感。但係由周Sir、黎sir、「中毒陳」同埋其他九唔搭八嘅狗公所做嘅一切可知，好作狀咁做啲嘢出嚟反而令Miss Wong反感。所以做到呢步就夠。

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呢個時候我挨住走廊邊，睇住操場嘅同學打波。大約十分鐘之後，我覺得Miss Wong 佢應該冷靜完，於是我想返入課室。正正呢個時候，佢喺課室行左出黎。

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「你唔係去廁所架咩？」佢見我喺走廊睇風景，於是問我。一如以往都係咁惡死，佢對眼已經腫晒。

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「去⋯⋯去完架啦。想睇人打⋯⋯打波啫。」求其作個藉口，唉，冇理由同Miss Wong 講我想比私人空間你喊咩。

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當然我呢個答覆點都令Miss Wong唔滿意，佢厭惡咁講左句：「講大話。」

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唔知點解，呢句說話好似唔剩係鬧我。

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Miss Wong 翹埋雙手，講：「今日去到呢度先。時間唔早。」

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女王大人佢盡管想一如以往咁用氣勢壓我，但明顯已經霸氣盡失。身為偵測兵嘅我分析到佢好想男朋友可以分憂、可以依靠，正正係今晚佢好想有男朋友陪，但點知分左手。

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咦？咪住先，想有人陪？

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「Miss, 都七點幾，你肚餓未？」

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「少少咁啦。」

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「啱啦！不如食埋野先啦！」

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「唔洗啦。我呢個週末仲要拎簿返屋企改架。成疊咁重，唔方便。」

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「唔係呀。我好慘呀冇人煮飯比我食，家姐住hall，老豆老母⋯⋯返左大陸。」我求其作左個藉口。

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哈，點知Miss Wong失戀還失戀，佢思路仲好清晰。佢瞪一瞪眼，好嚴肅咁講：「你今年16歲咋呵？」

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「係呀。」

14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKZUPRFpyR

「咁就得。我而家去問下社工，我懷疑你爸爸媽媽疏忽照顧你。你未夠18歲仲受緊兒童保護法保護架。」

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「喂你咪兇我喎盈姐！」

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「咁你咪仲要講大話呀？」

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「得得得，我老豆老母冇返上去。但佢地做嘢好忙，好夜返，我晚晚食外賣咋。」

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「我同你講，我最憎人呃我。」Miss Wong說話好似有弦外之音咁，又問：「你啲老友呢？阿偉呢？今晚搵佢地未得囉。」

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「七點幾都食晒飯啦。」

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「女朋友呢？」

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「嗱。」我舉起左手。

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「作死你。」Miss Wong 鬧鬼我借啲意開黃腔。但睇得佢嘴角笑左一下。

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「Miss呀，好肚餓呀。不如食左野先啦。最多我幫你拎未得囉！你不嬲都成日點我搬呢樣嗰樣架啦！」

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「咁⋯⋯」Miss Wong 拖長隻字嚟讀，眼仔碌碌咁諗一諗，就話：「好呀。但你一定要幫我拎野架！」

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Yes! 得米！！

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而且總算都舒緩左佢嘅情緒，我地一齊去教員室嗰陣唔單只有講有笑，佢仲特然搭住左我膊頭話一齊跑去教員室。當佢一搭落黎嗰下，我手肘感覺到一好軟嘅嘢⋯⋯

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我批到Miss Wong 對波。

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Miss Wong對波？

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我屌！Miss Wong請左我食波邊呀!!!

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= = = =

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咪講笑，佢疊功課真係好重。 Miss Wong真係唔客氣咁將佢要改嘅功課全部比晒我拎。

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「想食咩就自己揀啦。」

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「整枝可樂先啦。熱屎辣辣！」我對手好似唔係我咁。

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最後我地揀左我屋企樓下嘅冬菇亭大排檔食野。Miss Wong 怕污糟，嫌三嫌四。但方圓幾公里內可以食得落肚嘅餐廳就係得呢間，Miss Wong無奈接受。

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冇幾耐啲野食黎齊晒。初初嫌污糟嘅佢見到食物賣相唔差就率先開餐⋯⋯挑，都話左啲港女都係口不對心架啦。

14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3UdaDiPU6

我同佢有講有笑，食食下都忘記左Miss Wong 係我老師。就好似家姐同細佬食飯咁。食到咁上下佢好認真咁話：「你知我好憎人講大話架可？」

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「今日先知，哈哈。」見佢突然嚴肅起來，我都怯左一下。佢之後一定問一啲好難答嘅問題。

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「咁我而家問你嘢。你唔可以講大話架！」

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唉，比我估中左。

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我點下頭。

14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeUnPosA7J

「你睇到晒啦。我手機啲Msg」Miss Wong望住我，又唔係話惡，但好認真咁。呢一刻我感受到嘅佢唔係我老師，而係好似朋友咁。

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「Sorry呀。初初係嫌震機嘈。但其實⋯⋯」接住呢句真係好難為情，唔通講我其實想了解Miss Wong 你多啲咩！

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我緊張到唔識講野，用筷子騷一騷個太陽穴。

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Miss Wong 亦都知我難答，亦都唔為難我。但係佢又問：「你知道幾多嘢呀？」

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「你工作壓力好大。比謝Sir， Miss Cheng 催交嘢。其實你工作壓力大都唔係今日先知。我⋯⋯我一直都有留意你。就今咁之嘛，你都冇食Lunch。」

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講講下連心嗰句都講埋出黎。Miss Wong瞪一瞪眼，好吃驚我原來知道咁多。

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佢點左下頭，又問：「仲有呢？你仲知幾多。」

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「黎Sir想追你！哈哈⋯⋯」

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Miss Wong 佢「哎吔」左聲，好兇咁話：「你試下講出去，我記你大過！！」佢停一停又講：「仲有呢」

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「周Sir想⋯⋯同你⋯⋯」周Sir呢個人真係唔可以提，一提佢就會唔開心。

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「你想話佢想箍煲？」

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我點一點頭。

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「我同你講呀！」Miss Wong 拎住筷子指住我，好嚴肅咁講：「嚴格嚟講，個『煲』就冇存在過。所以⋯⋯唔算係箍煲！明唔明？」

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我搖頭。

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「唔明就繼續唔明啦！總之我同周Sir除咗係同事就冇其他！」

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「你好憎佢咁喎。」

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「係呀！所以你上次借周Sir陷害阿添真係搞到我好嬲呀！」

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「對唔住囉！盈姐。」我扮左個投降姿勢。

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「唔止咁多架喎。」Miss微笑，但有種苦澀。因為接下來嘅嘢正正擊中佢痛處。

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「一個叫Vick嘅人，先係你男朋友？」

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Miss笑著笑著，眼白位置都紅咗。雙眼泛起剔透嘅淚光。

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「你頭先同Vick分左手。」

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講完之後，我同佢沈默左。即使現場環境再熱鬧，呢一刻我覺得好寂靜。

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睇黎我講左啲唔應該講，唔應該提嘅嘢。而Miss Wong嘅沉默亦默認咗我講嘅嘢。

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唉⋯⋯我都難過起嚟。Miss Wong喺出面真係有男朋友！雖然分咗手唧！但會復合架嘛！即係代表我⋯⋯追佢⋯⋯唉！唔洗諗。

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最後我忍唔住問左句：「你地一齊左好耐？」

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Miss Wong 佢揮一揮手，示意我唔好再問。然後佢又問我：「其實你頭先根本就冇去廁所，係咪？」

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我唔知點答，猶豫左一兩秒先識點頭。

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「咁你需要啲私人空間嘛。你又要面，又唔鍾意喺學生面前喊⋯⋯」反正都係，我講晒我對佢嘅感覺出黎。

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「夠啦！」Miss Wong有啲抱怨咁講，個樣嬲嬲地。

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「所以我先一直企喺走廊度，好驚有啲戇鳩仔或者校工入黎阻住你。」

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Miss Wong聽到之後好似有少少驚訝，然後佢點左一下頭再對住我笑。

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「低B仔。」一個溫柔到令我好溫暖嘅笑容：「多謝你。」

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「嗯⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯我地飲杯。」我舉住杯可樂，我比佢個笑突擊到唔識反應。

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Miss Wong 嘆一口長氣，一面愁容。良久佢望返過嚟，努力擠出微笑。

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「多謝你幫左我好多好多嘢！你想我點獎勵你？」Miss Wong擺脫左喺課室女王嘅一面，好溫柔咁對我講：「不如就呢餐啦！我請你食呢餐飯。」

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「哇，我又幫你諗活動、又準備嗰樣呢樣，之前又幫你追功課又盛⋯⋯一餐飯？便宜左你喎！」

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「哎吔！你咁得戚？！」Miss Wong 收一收起笑容，又搬返佢喺學校嗰個樣出黎，問：「咁你想點呀？」

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我諗左諗右，既然佢開到口，咁好嘅機會梗係——

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「陪我行街，請我睇戲、請我食飯。」

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係，我真係好想約Miss Wong拍一次拖，那怕我一生人就係得嗰一次。

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「吓？！」Miss Wong 有啲吃驚：「同你去街？」

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「哎⋯⋯我知啦我唔靚仔嘛。點襯得起盈姐你。」

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「唔係呀！」Miss Wong突然喺枱下面一腳伸左落我上五吋下五吋度。佢唔理我慘叫，再講：「我同你喎。老師同學生私人時間見面喎！」

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呢個時候我知道更加唔可縮，要求Miss Wong 獎我另一啲野。怯就輸一世。於是我就⋯⋯

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「唔係行街。係買活動物資！」

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「吓？」

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「咁中文週好多野要搞嘛！個Check Point要準備豐富嘅禮物。哇，Miss你日日都咁忙，唔私人時間搞咁等幾時？」我飲左一啖可樂，再講：「咁啲物資咁多，你搵學生幫手搬都好正常唧。不過⋯⋯就順手睇埋戲，食埋野咁囉。」

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「嘻⋯⋯」 Miss Wong忍唔住笑左出黎。

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「咁⋯⋯得唔得呀？」

14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDWpaGNQ5R

佢一路笑，一路眼定定咁望住我。我等緊佢答覆嘅時候，感覺時間好慢，好似等緊死刑咁。

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「咁你想約幾時呀？」

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「就聽日呀！」

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我得意忘形咁笑，Miss Wong邊笑邊踢我上五吋下五吋。

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