一起床已到九時，要還的時間未免太多了吧。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnVIAnvrVz
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我換好衣服出門，在等待升降機時發了「投降」的短訊給上司。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsn8IxdlIS
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到車上也是一直的休息。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYjekWLiKL
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看來世事還真的是等價交換，你總不可能永遠的利用著時間而放棄休息。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwz6GSetGqe
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回到公司也沒甚麼特別的事，但「自由兼職者」的工作由我要來善後，太多的錯處。我也有疏忽監管的責任。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQL9nkta3T
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sKB0FHbs1
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCevUJzyqFP
由於工作的關係，我盡量也沒有找她，忍耐着。也沒有什麼想太多，也做着一些閒事、加入同事說關於無聊的話題。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJozIJFYpD
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無聊的應對。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2ltjFndGC
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjzd2sl2E5
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcxJR5Zyt5
心底裏整天都在思考「愛」的問題。究竟愛是什麼？我的愛和她的愛又是什麼？那是因為昨日聽到初中女孩們對話的因由。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfUFvVuQ34
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因為我對愛的觀念很不同，對我來說找到愛的人、對的人我就會非常珍惜，儘管美麗的誘惑或者好感，我也覺得比不上她。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvy5jU9DJkC
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那是確確實實我真誠的答案。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3ApxEYtIW
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是十多年來得出的答案。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3H0r5gLNk
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與在我讀設計後，我很清楚自己的需要，也很相信自己的眼光。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jzHaSDZEq
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWInOxivok5
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPJuoyoQPw
而我相信現在的她需要的應該是熱戀的感覺，看到她的反應，就和我了解的她一樣，寫到這裏嘆了一口氣。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MP8nEeJus
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBZxIayF9C
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsSq729cJv
我也很相信是我「離開」了十個月的報應。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkmcF7WrRW
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyj1B6bWYkB
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCfqTyLKzM
我很清楚她需要的是什麼，就是原本我會做的東西：515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfTNeQiLdf
精心設計的旅程；515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFYz7OxJvD
驚喜的禮物；515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMP5f9waJ0U
做給她的手工藝；515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxKHsA5G1H
畫給她的畫；515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoyfnhdgXZ
還有勇敢果斷有正義感的「本我」。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0ds0PaQ17
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbAqPtEDz0
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVgcMiQqVi
結果整天都在思考，也想起MLA的歌，內容說着不同的偉人對於愛的解讀：515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKWxEDOBqb
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8jYCekUtU
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qPjyt0gGZ
「耶穌說的愛是無條件的、獻身的，515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1s4udx8KQ4
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDzfnaqD95
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIhOXEUDQc
奧修說的愛是能量的互動、是自由的、無束縛的，515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmFUzRSPwB
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8Ii0mml6X
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昆德拉說的愛是機遇的、偶然的、命定的，515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YaCUpzndz
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8zT9Ury9o
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高達說的愛是刺激的、好玩的、有今生沒來世的、哲學的，515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdbhDuiPPW
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小津安二郎說的愛是溫柔的、隱藏的、非愛的，515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZ46zMtuFO
515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRXJ4xc7uB
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畢卡索說的愛是經驗的、性慾的、美好的，515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBoxuh8k4h
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夏卡爾說的愛是聖潔的、救贖的、唯一的。」515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtlx5NgzGy
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聽着也很難理解。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAqtGo8vHU
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晚上九時，我到運動場跑步時，查了一下維基百科，「愛」和「既視感」。「本我」是對我有感覺的字，很喜歡。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprxBlPXMt9
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既視感也是其中之一，因為我是一個很愛做夢的人。做夢時，常會看到一些似曾相識又毫無記憶的事物。現實時，看到一些在夢中看過的事物感到似曾相識。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4uWmrPsQC
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我會感覺到很神奇，很浪漫。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUjqH9qhxZ
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515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySMehUkv85
而「愛」在我看完維基百科，理解的是「人類的本能」，過於複雜是因為人性。基本有寫到愛情三角論：親密、激情、承諾。而衍生出的一個「元素表」，直白而又殘酷。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp2LSg4Bp1
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愛的風格比較有趣的是利他的愛：515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc67YXz09FF
「完全無私的愛，可不惜傷害自己或捨棄任何東西，重視神交。現代多半喜歡稱呼這種愛為『真愛』。」515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhhszkBFfe
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我大概對她就是這一種愛。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1gZVFfgb9
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515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKNOJ5hRnD
愛的階段說出來就像她在我「離開」短短時間的轉變過程。情慾、吸引、最後依附，到情消失後，由熱愛轉為友愛，由浪漫轉為好感。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafe36jvnww
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和她那一天告訴我的一樣。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kOMVoclbE
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515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1ED7Mubwv
回家洗澡後，我拿出為她畫的貓畫簿，那是我很久之前已經開始畫的畫簿，那是我想念她的方式。而我不否認很久也沒有畫新作品，可能是覺得我和她的時間還有很多，可以慢慢到一起生活時才畫我們一起養的貓而特意留給牠們幾頁。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6JO36u8xT
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515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqo8MAwPUv
也可能是這兩年我對於貓沒有太大的靈感，在我生活的地方，流浪貓走的也走了，而她養的一隻貓也同樣走了，這也是令我很傷心的事。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUgbGT2XQ0
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在夜裏，我畫的貓是我在「第四天」拍下的照片作參考──即是她家裏的貓。那張照片是我的左手摸貓貓的頭，而貓貓也很溫馴地把頭向左貼着我的手。而我用了我很少用的木顏色作畫，那木顏色是她和我一起買的。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaCKjE3Ex4
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靈感也到了，影響了挑選顏色的感覺。用了紅色代表我，藍色代表貓貓，取代了鉛筆的黑色。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Qb1wcJxAp
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我就這樣坐在工作台前，在殘黃的坐枱燈下作畫，直至太陽升起。515Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahdvOtzfV4
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完成一張畫。
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