[bgm music to read to]
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXrObmU03E
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpiiNpvm0c
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpm1DOz3e5
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KrFOjkHLQ
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNH4fOEJAf
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6HtUN9M5l
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBa6ii7y2e
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqEGvh0bIn
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DoDAHMTq7
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvivYWY7PiM
But...646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1CnHStvro
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZA6QcQNiH
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8ijWe4WEO
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMKiR3bP1m
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJO3pmZ7wb8
Is absolutely not pathetic.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBET6eoy5Uv
You're not garbage."646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQ3w8WHRpf
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsWCpjogns
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPck3DWdIO
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIilKlGc9YM
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsHeWM6zIy
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DYWsqndg5
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bPpXfyOQs
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQB7NJHWIX9
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3zJyRk0GS
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmGj637tFq
Your son doesn't want to get married.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlw9KU65fP
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOIXeZVc2s
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JPF6oDn4n
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILUooHfvf8
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDvnGuU5Eh
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPvuTaGOgn
I'm scared of failing, so.
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPKYT9z5Ff
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujnNTr99f7
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeSnirY0gO
Sincerely,646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmdGA8kO60
Your son Charlie.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GTKeFiZ9H
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRf2LShcYk
P.S. Screw you sis /j.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3U8gstgt4
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPocC70Cpr8
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr15kXBlOmx
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKweZF8SXp
646Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpitPIqh6c0
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
