這不是我寫的喔！這不是我寫的喔！ (才怪)97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlfaBclOTN
僅此紀念我的基友大貘。
僅此紀念我的基友大貘。
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02vz96arPS
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRD41qUemz
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHFdSVaB1M
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltzj3jiRGR
[佐鳴]事若春夢97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytmt5d6lDw
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocV3Akltik
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtCItOSuxP
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUV2zuNiiy
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmt3G5W0n9N
遲早都會壞掉的。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWgnyaL8fU
無論是過度擁擠的天空、群聚在大學樓頂的鴿子、被油汙和垃圾佔據的湖水，或是他似笑非笑、溫柔的眉角。那些東西，一次又一次掠過我削薄的水晶體，成像於視網膜，只看過一遍就全部忘記。它們遲早都會壞掉。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNUOtmY2OF
逐漸崩裂，碎開，甚麼也不剩。我知道我不必費力去記憶。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6Nk8tWqNy
當我看見他的日記時我就知道了。堅硬的字體在淡米色的紙張上徒然挺立，彷彿擁有鐵一般的決心。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaRElaZfGV
盒子裡面還有一些東西，我說不出來的、帶有涵義的東西。手心裡抓著的石頭，正毅然決然地將我阻隔在外。“第三者。”石頭似乎開口說話了。“妳永遠進不去。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIo2HtlSJN6
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uh1jN4eIP
我冷冷地捏碎石頭，翻開日記。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOzhksA3Z1
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Z2UbE5A3m
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbfGeIdoC9
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y6XJQl4Kg
● 我所豢養的一隻貘97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9RSkBkGeD
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKtAOUwjz3
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiEA88DGUU
那隻貘沒有名字。至少我還不知道要將牠取做甚麼。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPF9c9UXNOs
超乎人性的體貼，超乎想像的溫馴。我不是馴獸師，但牠非常愛我。就像情人一般，我們了解彼此。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcpg0rXyJE
…當我這樣告訴鳴人的時候，他先是沉默，最後噗嗤一聲笑出來。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMnSdy5Ars
“然後呢？”他橫躺在湖邊的樹下，“你決定將牠取名為甚麼？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7Rj0Fr9tW
我說我還不知道。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdK1dNpY3AW
鳴人看看我，抓起身旁一把枯葉，撒到半空中。他忽然站起來，拍拍屁股，說：“期中考不去，替我跟教授說抱歉吧。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7095GvSfe
然後走了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0OnevrX6G
鳴人缺考三次，缺席無數次，瀕臨退學。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mxP4v3spU
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOG76LwqAp
貘，我該怎麼跟他說才好？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveldRBz0nO
我撫摸牠。牠仰起頭，又短又肥的鼻子在空氣中抽動兩下。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sy0z3ZKmf
夜晚我抱著牠睡，感覺到前所未有的安全。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLv9ikKS7Ku
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyghdpfk2lQ
我還不知道怎麼告訴鳴人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBCesGyj2z
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERCZVzk3Bc
貘吃掉了我邏輯課的報告，厚厚一疊A4紙，被嚼得只剩下封面殘骸。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn74hBZBLk4
我苦笑，無法責備牠。牠的眼睛藏在黑色短毛中，有可能真的在凝視我，或者用動物的本能順從牠的主人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi33idbfBFP
上課的時候，我被教授點名站起來，大家交頭接耳議論紛紛。宇智波佐助居然也會忘記寫報告。他們是這樣說的。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7qIETtKPV
我不會回頭看那些看我的人，因為我知道他們都在看我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡge4XmZAv0e
唯獨鳴人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHPpQPxUni
他不在教室。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvgjtSx3AK
他去屋頂睡覺了，兩手背在後腦勺，舒舒服服地打鼾。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj3zrnWZLp
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLqq9zBt3r
鹿丸跟他提過一個英國詩人，Andrew Marvell，如此矯飾的詩，最後卻被鳴人拿來編成一首情歌。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhI0XQAwqMr
To His Coy Mistress，“致羞怯的情人”。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEISRgaLzO
鳴人並不是真的會彈吉他，他頂多學會刷弦。還是從我這裡學來的。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3ykFA6jPg
“為什麼要編這首歌？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TrA4BR4tf
“想追女孩。”他說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcl7XipHq0t
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJhlbqTYaZ
於是我的喉嚨有了一坨吐也吐不出來的膿血。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58wIoN0ieu
他揹著吉他離開宿舍，嘴巴裡哼哼唱唱。我痛恨Andrew Marvell，我更痛恨他說的那句：“我的愛會隨時間變化慢慢成長，比帝國的成長更慢，領域更廣。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeC8vAuzHH
這些柔軟矯情的句子很快就被鳴人含在口腔裡，鑽進另個女孩的耳朵。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwv5bDPQar
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EiUXSisCQ
至此我鄙視十七世紀的英詩文學。那些大多沒有營養，談情說愛。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluAjKJ4gkA
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAr2SE9JKMS
我決定將我的貘稱呼為“大貘”。“大貘”本身就沒甚麼意涵。如同他對我…我指的是，如同鳴人對我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXPigTMbrE
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWd6Di6T8E
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5qdZBtBJj
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES5ZjpArCO
● 97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfvXMqHh3E
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KG8JDOSJa
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUccaqN4xW
下初雪那天，背包裡的隨身手札被大貘咬出來，吃進肚子裡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WOI3SM4ts
當時我也許人在學校，也許在街道上任何一間咖啡館裡。鳴人和一個女孩手牽手從圖書館走出來，那女孩很漂亮，綠色眼睛，皮膚白皙，我知道她，她是系上最有人氣的女孩子。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvowGRwWVL
他們在門口揮別彼此。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOW3EGb6kJK
鳴人的鼻子紅紅的，沒戴手套，他把手插入口袋中取暖。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LtqnAITkW
我走過去，踩過鋪上薄雪的道路，但是還沒和他搭上話之前，鳴人就轉身了。他的臉一下子沉靜下來，不動不笑。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwFHgpdxin
我讓他踽踽地離開。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqEhwdtNXy
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjkno5NV3A
手札沒寫甚麼重要的。只不過夾有兩張鳴人在中學時期傳給我的紙條，還有一張他的照片。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAb1cjjfOK
我默默地和大貘對望。牠漆黑的眼睛曝露了牠心懷不軌的動機。可是我沒說破，也不拆穿，我讓牠一口一口吃掉屬於我生活一部份的東西。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtzOEvM4cN
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwaJJl1zwo
在往後的日子裡，我無數次看見那女孩。她叫做春野櫻，個性開朗活潑，很有人緣。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmMe5RwxQd
一日，我和鳴人在學生餐廳裡碰頭。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GlvtnTNJO
“嗨，最近過得如何？”我拉開他身旁的椅子。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeTQaqXFi5
他忽然面有難色。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3if5WDhIN
“怎麼了？”我問他。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORIiplf7m1
鳴人抱歉地對我笑。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUca0CU1zXd
“不好意思，可不可以不要坐這裡？我女朋友等一下要來。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf48Prgm8xO
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCv57EU7UFK
很久之後我才知道To His Coy Mistress已經被知名歌手改編過了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekDJW8q91V
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFEfu2O9Il
煽情。甜膩。旋律複雜得讓人厭煩。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQjsOdpaRb
兩個禮拜後，我也交了一個女朋友，叫做香燐，脾氣火爆但一遇到我就會柔情似水，像個小女人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5IYxchrOI
交往三天，我們就上床。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxANnjwLok
她摘下眼鏡，脫掉衣服，敞開雙腿如同吃飯一樣自然。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2403zntVb3
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL94rBP5rXr
完事之後，她拉上棉被蓋住自己的頭。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XrWT2A72V
我看見大貘窩在房間角落，不聲不響。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfRlgIHaZy
我抽一根菸，對牠說：“你有甚麼好不滿的。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSJCPhnXoV
香燐轉過來，問，你在跟誰說話？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs1UwmhDzG
我說，我在和我豢養的寵物說話。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaUUjSN3po
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfxD6RV5sM
她盯著我瞧，五分鐘過去，她俐落地穿上衣服，離開我的公寓。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4TDdSfbpk
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxWomqnjo7
然後我們再也不碰面了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqsOM51OND
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTmdruJ5c7
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmUFBFZaHq
●97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TWLcWkr55
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7xTPHAfNg
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMUrzSzl6K
我和鳴人都認識鹿丸。他是個頭腦比誰都還清楚的人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgKcdIbmRN
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46rSW0SHEH
大三下學期的暑假，我們這群中學同學一起去山上露營。對我來說，此行的意義看起來並不那麼單純。鳴人身旁的人還是春野櫻，他們已經交往一個半月。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gZ8wgA7Pu
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspdMqA8E1f
出發前一天，我溫緩地揉著大貘的肚子，告訴牠：“我不在的這幾天，要好好照顧自己。”然後遞給牠一本珍藏的相冊。牠用呆滯的表情咬過去，散漫地咀嚼。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7QQjbPA4Q
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UHHwGNL2u
鳴人的笑臉在牠的口水中逐漸扭曲、溶解。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRiSoJbyfG
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXRSCC5Svs
露營的第一天晚上，他和她手牽手離開帳篷。有人看到了，曖昧地對大家笑，我也接收到別人的視線，嘗試一起微笑，可是辦不到。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZ2KnRFefT
我掀開帳篷，跟著出去。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG5CAbxyBy
他們在月光下接吻，雙舌交纏，四肢糾結在一起。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xIUIj0RlA
末了，他推開她，說，抱歉，我們還是分手吧。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPXwUpdYez
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIDGK3F8WV
她的手來到他平坦無瀾的胯下，用力一捏，虛弱地哼笑。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsu1GHidi2
“真沒用。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkY6DyRTEn
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1zytM7TTf
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORwWLGBgGG
Andrew Marvell最終還是浮浮沉沉地落敗。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ag8RmdYQL
他不需要負責任，那和他的情詩沒有關係。我在此時卻開始憐憫起Andrew Marvell，這個熱情澎湃、矯揉做作的詩人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68VaNVpeug
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodWjqP7A5X
大貘走到我身邊，將頭靠在我的膝蓋上。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5H2OI77a9
我從地板揀起相冊的殘片，扔進垃圾桶裡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV37XeiQru5
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURr6gmvKoX
“該怎麼辦才好？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV576JQTXJ
我摸著大貘。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQ5tCNmaBn
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYhgCAWtV5
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKIOfrNP22
鳴人和春野櫻分手的理由，到現在還不明白。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqItLk5CmCK
他只不過沒有在適當的時候勃起，如此而已。他就要為了這件事和她分手嗎？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6uF2jNPGQ
鹿丸彷彿看透一切，獨自在宿舍陽台上抽菸，往下望。我在他的房間裡用打字機敲出期末報告。最近大貘的胃口變大了，把牆上那幅鳴人給我的畫連著畫框吃掉。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJUBBubQcU
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfKC6LHl79
“你想怎樣？”鹿丸突然撣落煙灰，問我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfEQQWEErC
“甚麼怎麼樣。”我沒停手。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcaUcffZfA
“對鳴人…”他的聲音越來越小，到最後乾脆不講話。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCl3zTVeiZH
我敲完報告，把紙撕下來，裝訂整齊。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORY7olABSl
離開房間前，鹿丸把我拉住。“從中學時就開始了，不是嗎？”他睿智的雙眼盯著我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUDKga0dmZ
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVhftm09ne
面無血色的窗簾自他身後揚揚飛起。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKi15JKCQKC
我逃開了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoWvKaJSZj
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2Gjz2fWiq
希區考克的電影，不是驚悚，而是在縝密之外闢出一條險路，讓你一腳踩入。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBDp5jXwFn
黑白畫面在電視裡兀自轉播，看到一半的時候，接收器毫無預警地壞了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NlznP54pn
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDKcsnRwLi
我和鳴人曾經如此要好。彼此都是心中最好的朋友和夥伴。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAaRAYH1RQ
有那麼幾次，莫名的預感告訴我，其實我們想的東西都相同。渴望更進一步、渴望撫摸。就在兩個人都還是中學生的時候，一個炎炎夏日，我握住他拿著冰棍的那隻手，輕輕吻上他。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoq1pT5Gjek
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWl4PhMcJG
他卻沒有預料中的反應。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSwuKuzuVO
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hG4fHsNHT
冰棍掉到地面，迅速蒸發。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzSX68OXWa
只留我一個人坐在公園的長椅上。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aPxg3cwr8
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGSvKqexW6
《繩子》裡面的long-shot，就是從那之後的，我的雙眼。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MsubOrG35
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJZ2mvrusM
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoNGvnXRsn
●97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuZ8hBIFpr
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU96LuBDCgs
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc6HqLWnbM
鳴人不斷地逃避我。用他一貫的微笑和友善。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8U4nGcyrrn
我們再次相聚四年，既快樂又悲傷。他過他的，我過我的，沒有誰起疑。除了奈良鹿丸。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmLReLLmOQ
大貘，你說我該怎麼辦？我該拿他怎麼辦？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwztoK3Ep7
我看著我的寵物吃掉一台收音機、兩捲卡帶、三張德式蛋餅(原本要拿來做晚餐的)、四顆蒜頭。牠滿足了自己的肚腹，舔舔鼻子，黑色眼睛斜過來看我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJVGbiggqP
你還想吃掉甚麼？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJ0aigcDrA
我搔搔牠的下巴，牠發出連續的呼嚕聲。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCVX9ow6lq
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsslofjPVB
鳴人被退學了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz6ggDaOVD
是在意料之中的預料之外。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnbvuHWRJc
這件事我從別人的口裡聽說，卻格外真實。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKx2Zwq3fg
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThWjlwKoBZ
我敲敲他寢室的門。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zlQJA5cMW
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fq8U2A4oO
“怎麼了？”他打開門，問我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7XQeWg4xL
“…皮夾沒了。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnrWyQVgWj
“怎麼會沒了？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiMEpGkwe3
“被我豢養的寵物吃掉了。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5h7HS0Ar8
他古怪地笑，然後讓我進去。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgvtMZvjPN
鳴人是個隨性的男孩子，房間有些凌亂，比上次我看到的還要亂一些。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmeZrP1PjT
“吃晚餐了沒？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70xYUf9zE8
“吃過了。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1b0fbopOAQ
“…喝點運動飲料吧，我看你流很多汗。”鳴人從床底下的箱子摸出一個鋁箔包，遞給我。“明天期末考對吧。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeV8v9Nj8x
“對。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56atR8bt0x
“這麼有把握拿滿分啊？”他笑。“還有空來我這裡瞎混。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhviEXj1Vca
鳴人戴上耳機，坐在書桌前，閱讀一本原文書。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGWWSm2T2U
我在他的床上沉穩入眠。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjdTgsg7xC
半夜時我醒過來，鳴人不在寢內。我走到陽台上，往下方看，他一個人站在花圃中，抱著吉他，嘴裡哼著歌。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSq7AGPkvJ7
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd54GufYOGX
“只要我們有足夠的空間和時間，這份羞怯，吾愛，就不算罪過…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLxXyMjdpD
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8M1yKnS22
是To His Coy Mistress。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vKqwO70oQ
我站在陽台，站一整夜。和他一起。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryH9UKXDqB
我們都沒有參加期末考試。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshT3aYwPw6
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsP4oJHvxA
大貘，你會明白嗎？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofOGFHpGF2
當你用空洞的眼睛看著我的時候，是不是有讀出我想說的任何訊息。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vhpNjYiSC
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1qBIWsBnQ
後天早上，同學們睜大眼睛，看著我走進教室裡。教授也走進來，一個禿頭佬，輕輕咳嗽，瞥我一眼。他沉重的目光透過又厚又大的鏡片傳過來。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Wz6WV826y
我聳聳肩。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiGv8ZYQrQ
他搖搖頭。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJ41ApGcTx
我知道，我丟了進他研究室的資格。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUotGWLe9HV
那也無所謂，畢竟我的畢業報告已經被大貘給吃了。牠津津有味地嗑掉膠裝封面，接著打個飽嗝。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnSGLpY3N3
“味道不錯吧，這份報告我可是寫了半年…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgblV1wvbLo
我說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3XtDAmYre
牠又用飽嗝來表示滿足。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95MSWUPGyv
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpadzC9CZ2y
鳴人很快就離開學生宿舍。他找到一間雅房，雨天的時候，外面下大雨，裡面下小雨。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSaJVCVuVa
他的朋友都去替他慶祝。七八個人擠在小小的房間裡，大肆喝酒聊天。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFD0KlKjxOR
我沒去，可是我知道那晚發生的事情。是鹿丸告訴我的。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8BeI45RRc
他說，鳴人喝得很茫，誰都不認得。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡst6f2iiQws
他說，鳴人喝茫了之後抓了人就亂親。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGxods1TJ4
他說，鳴人就在拉扯和親吻之間吐出一個人的名字。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoCVdDsuGN
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCSHojqVzN
“佐助…佐助…其實我…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGqZovNIXL
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDY91UJBaZB
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VWvGZuzu5
我說，鹿丸，夠了，我不想聽。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSM0dQTxaK
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzkzPjKQzG
沒有人懂我和他到底想要甚麼。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKvdZ3Vsrr
因為我們也不懂自己。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSlO3CUQ3s
被退學之後，他不再上大學，每天都在打零工。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyl7WepmMn
有人在洗衣店看過他，有人在咖啡廳看過他，甚至是深夜的加油站裡，也能看見他在椅子上打盹。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYEynTi93J
我猜想，他應該不再彈吉他了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcTHgpO38L
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ETIBslCm3
而我呢？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttF4hn9pyi
我仍然和大貘一起生活，並且在畢業前夕交了一名新的女友。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7loXn8Q5D
她叫做春野櫻。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Fsdwfq4ar
她周旋在我和漩渦鳴人之間，以快速又難以捉摸的姿態做一隻候鳥。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSOtL9iHa4
我並不喜歡她，可是她也不介意我是不是愛她。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKS0xtozzAK
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTpGr37mHM
“各取所需…你最了解的吧？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRf7FibJpZU
她撢去菸灰，笑了笑。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIfijfUtOA
我把褲子穿上，走出房間，倒一杯水給自己。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHyDAHrP8y
她佔據大貘的床，毫不介意地睡著。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcolSEXWuEC
大貘蜷縮在房子角落。我心疼地摸摸牠的頭，給牠吃一箱衣服。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YL4D4x0sa
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vA4zzOCj1
我聽說春野櫻偶爾會去找鳴人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIWYhuO7T3
也聽說鳴人和另一個女人在一起。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7tZ18JtaN
可是沒有人敢肯定地說，因為鳴人已經很久不出現在朋友面前了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6u9KMb9Kfw
他繼續過他的，我繼續過我的。我重新做回一名好學生，人人稱羨的高材生。在課堂上是睿智的、成熟的宇智波佐助，下課後，回到家裡，卻豢養一隻有可能根本不存在的貘獸。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yCaUi3gRH
只有奈良鹿丸一個人看透我的軟弱。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsj7E7oZF3
他看我的眼神，彷彿在嘲笑我的無能和膽小。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJZoaJLp9j
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNrRyzm9vd
大貘，我哪裡做錯了？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqp6YCZGF2
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3g1yYzIy0
時間會慢慢過去，而我們會遺忘。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2l9YLf0Bl
就像夏天裡逐漸蒸發的冰棒，一點一點消失在空氣裡。我說，奈良鹿丸，你一點都不懂我們。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRDxJD4yhm
他說，你才是一點都不懂鳴人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYAiKUEZVj
錯了，其實我們都不懂Andrew Marvell，才不能意會他的情詩。畢竟他說：“只要我們有足夠的空間和時間，這份羞怯，吾愛，就不算罪過…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMcnVuftXS
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFURRR0GZYB
三年後，我成為碩士生，和春野櫻訂婚。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mJyx4ck1W
她保有她的生活，保有她對其他男人接觸的權力，我向來不干涉這一切。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ji3IAor84
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yO3wlsN8Y
我的貘懶懶地抬頭看我一眼，然後繼續沉睡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9ER3U4inj
牠在這幾年越來越瘦，肋骨都清晰可見。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH6jSFZXkh
離開大學後，我和春野櫻搬到另一個繁榮的城市，並在那裡舉行婚禮。婚禮前夕，我搭了特快車回到故居，背包裡有一張要給鳴人的婚宴邀請卡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4gGJHiWBK
其實我本來不打算這麼做的，我把這張卡片湊到大貘面前，可是牠僅僅抽動鼻子，嗅了嗅，一點都不感興趣地撇過頭。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaRHt5Khhh
這也許是甚麼徵兆。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLQayNHO5t
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx3YgbQHnp
我走入鳴人原本該住著的公寓。經過這麼多年，他有可能已經不住在這裡。我嘗試敲門，可是狹窄的樓梯間裡除了回音之外，沒有任何動靜。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgibCpgppSL
十分鐘過去，半小時過去，我拿出邀請卡，想把它塞進門縫裡了事。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IdMJQE1hO
可是我聽見腳步聲，一步一步傳上來。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnEGcpmnZ8
我回頭，順間掉進湛藍的海底。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0D98o3qeA
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1FB0EFHVo
鳴人就在我後面，他麥色的肌膚，耀眼的頭髮，澄澈的眼神。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfMc6R8wXx
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOt7XFu6d5G
我甚麼都沒辦法開口說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKdbkJI6Db
他也張大嘴巴，愣愣地看著我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vTAuQlhSk
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MKhvFxMx7
“你…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNL8rDHTq4p
我想要問他，這幾年過得好不好。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBkT6HmQX7
就在我即將吐出一串破碎的句子之前，一個人影出現在樓梯，他慢慢走上來，站到鳴人身邊。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlxFr3UmiF
“怎麼了，不是說要回來拿東西？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvU28fFs8E
那男人，一手搭在鳴人的肩上。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jYCUBRgq3
他露出虛偽的笑容，眼睛轉向我。“這位是…？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0u3kNULbcv
沒等鳴人解釋，我就自己開口：“我是漩渦的大學同學，今天來拿邀請卡給他的。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5glps72zw
“…邀請卡？”鳴人喃喃地唸。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1i9siRjac
“我要結婚了。”我說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvEdjVEmRu
我相信我的嘴唇在顫抖。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwQH8aMada
鳴人的表情僵了一下，卻很快地恢復，並對我說：“恭喜。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3w0Y0lZt0
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPD6kAIgoj
我冷冷地抽了嘴角，瞥那男人一眼，再看看他，說，你也是。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4M0IY230uG
然後頭也不回地走了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAm5CQWf4O
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4p91dRytw3
我甚至忘記邀請卡還捏在手裡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPNubhkc1s
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTgSHSCEKq
大貘，直到現在我才明白我還愛他。我最喜歡的是他燦爛的笑臉，一副無所謂卻常常不甘心的臉，還有在草地上跑起來的模樣，兩隻手敞開，讓風吹過每一吋毛細孔。中學時，他常常和我分享同一塊麵包，同一個便當，同一把傘，甚至同一張床。現在我訝異我居然和他蓋過同一條被子而可以甚麼事都不發生。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYg3F70MinL
我想要他，不管是五年，十年，二十年，我仍然想要他。漩渦鳴人是一塊疙瘩，長在心上，長在我去也去不掉的地方。可是我卻抗拒一切發生，讓事情走到像現在這樣的局面。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qlncvKtfV
做甚麼也挽救不了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8fBIR9oGG
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4DRoCZG5z
我開著車，到市中心最繁華的地方，進去一間酒吧。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMOollsOqa
以前大學朋友常常來這裡聚著聊天，現在一點影子都不剩了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHKsjtkHGB
昏黃的燈光，香菸的氣味繚繞整個地下室，低聲笑語恍如隔世，我的耳中只有冰塊在酒杯裡碰撞的聲音。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7BCLYop3v
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLycAfKHpw
我沒有把自己灌醉。明天我將是一名新郎。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BiyWkPZ36
有人踩著皮鞋，走到我身邊，向酒保要一杯烈酒。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5ya7esozx
男人一口氣把酒喝完，發出嘖嘖聲。我忍不住轉過頭去看他。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvaqRsaeSk
那是一名纖瘦的少年，有著黑色的瞳孔和黑色的頭髮。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35tNQ2x9PY
長得居然跟我很像。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IFrtrZgnt
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4LTNu31l7
“你好。”他拘謹地說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQVWJF5ZLy
我挑挑眉。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL26OIgbGKP
“一個人嗎？”他問。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOQGkdFpvi
我把頭撇過去，沒理他。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9oaftX2Cm
少年自討無趣，又點了一杯酒。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDqhTaPwBV
“…看你落寞的樣子，大概是失戀了吧。”他說。“啊，也許你不需要安慰吧。你要結婚了嗎？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsDc8JN9nO
我有些意外，卻想起我就把揉爛的卡片放在桌上。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHTwbTk7qr
“你喜歡你的新娘嗎？”他問。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARQnYRQkdf
少年非常多話。我悶頭喝我的酒，沒回答。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrmtjAvhgp
“…大概是不喜歡吧。”他聳聳肩。“我知道你不喜歡。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpfwTGyWHR
我看他一眼，說：“你又懂甚麼了。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeD70BB1Fy2
“當然懂，”他微笑。“我知道你愛別的人。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIVNenqJQp
我冷冷地笑，說，現在已經不愛了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiI87JWxcAW
“不是這樣，我看得出來。”少年用黑色的眼睛盯住我。“你一直愛他。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuPsgALS6P
說完，他又自顧自地咂嘴。“可是既然你說你不愛，那就是不愛吧。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchFcIbDHh0
我沒理會他話裡的自相矛盾。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4WwzPEqQx
“愛就愛，不愛就不愛，沒甚麼大不了的。”他說。“可是你這種樣子，肯定只是鴕鳥心態。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcQKUPpB5b
我狠狠地把杯裡的酒飲盡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzM2KTlSduN
少年咯咯笑，從口袋裡掏出幾張紙鈔和一些叮叮咚咚的東西。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDw8zeXbBi
他把東西都推到酒保面前，我聽見酒保不悅地說：“這甚麼？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjocvDA3lwm
我斜眼瞄他放到桌上的那堆東西，忽然看見一張已經扯破、撕爛的學生證。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqpXX4xTwn
上面那個人是我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRGjdKTlKV
糊掉的學生姓名旁邊，有一行藍筆筆跡寫著：佐助大笨蛋。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhjt8Bo0WP
我倏然站起，看到寫了我的名字的會員卡、兩張鳴人傳給我的紙條、只剩半顆頭的鳴人照片…97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVBLH0fL5U
少年漆黑的眼睛把我吸進去。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUUkL3Pc4X
“還來得及，”他說。“只要你不畏懼。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbnlq85TRt
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ruR0Jr33y
我連帳都沒付就衝出酒吧。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HkMX3arDx
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCvDbFg1rC
街道上的行人變成一抹一抹的色彩，天已經黑了，我鑽入車子裡，引擎的聲音瞬間重擊我的心臟。我想到那些被大貘吞進肚子裡的東西，我想到牠總是一言不發地盯著我，我想到牠安靜地聆聽我說種種關於鳴人的事…可是牠卻不曾告訴我牠的想法。車子在夜色下拐了彎，駛到鳴人的公寓前。它似乎以一種莊嚴卻悲傷的姿態等待，也許公寓裡面有人，也許沒有，我踏踏雜雜地衝上樓梯，站在鐵門前，用力敲著門。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBv9AaCecMS
鐵門有打開的跡象。我緊張地探頭，燦黃的金髮跳入視線。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xQQxMtBUQ
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8SWIODqlv
鳴人穿著寬鬆輕便的衣服，愣在門口。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ855i5fF3kb
我還在喘氣，眼睛沒敢離開他一秒鐘。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99Y6ceYdvx
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lfsOnkL8e
“你…你怎麼會…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnEPoxydUz
“鳴人。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRolvNGE2Xl
我叫他。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENNfroWJvX
他像聽見甚麼不可思議的聲音，身體抖了一下。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixuFVhVP9l
“…鳴人。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs16EDMY5sh
我徑直拉開門，一手握住他的手腕。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4mdaY8wNz
他往後退幾步，掛上複雜的表情，用力著想要掙脫。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5u8hcYUFu
“你、你這麼晚還不回去，是要給我送婚宴的邀請卡嗎？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9qfD14vPA
他問。他硬是扯出笑臉，這樣的笑臉很難看，我只在中學時看過一次，就是在他被喜歡的女孩子給甩了的時候。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KHMVxLl8f
我逼近他，兩隻手牽制住他的肩膀，他虛弱地笑，嘗試扭動身體，但是在他看見我認真的眼神之後，他的笑臉逐漸變成慌亂的表情。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayuV6eWBGj
“你別跟我開玩笑，”他說。“拜託，快離開這裡。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ164zWuRwCG
“為什麼？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAwgpnbaOW
“沒有為什麼！”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkKpM4wHxg
“你還討厭我嗎？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccigcGKr7Y
“我沒有討厭過你…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrN1xT1rMZu
“那我們…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgpnF0b1cR
“你走開好嗎？”鳴人說。他的聲音已經快要失控。“你幹嘛現在出現？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ykZJgkmHj
“因為我明天要結婚了。”我清晰地說。“可是我喜歡你。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26EXHSIdFh
他噤聲。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3SgiT5lmN
我們都安靜下來。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48gd86UnDV
我把臉湊過去，感覺到他炙熱急促的呼吸。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr8JmuE8fh
“對不起。”我說。“我是真的喜歡你。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgU9lyjbbc
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4uzXPGqy4
我抱住他，緩緩地，把他的頭放到我肩膀上。我從來沒有那麼多話過，可是就在今夜，我們站在玄關，我跟他說我一點都不愛春野櫻，說我從中學時就一直深愛他，說我不敢繼續接近他的原因是我是個膽小鬼，沒辦法承受第二次失敗，我還說我只想要他一個人，我只想要漩渦鳴人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHKZsY2FGC
他默默地聽著，偶爾笑出聲，他忍著不讓淚水流出來，我也是，我們都很倔強，我們都在等時間去沖淡，可是有很多事情，時間只會把它繼續推移，繼續前進。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68pNUjYCM4
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyoGV5MDIA
“婚禮怎麼辦？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKgJICVvjB
他問。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzqZ5hCNbN
“取消吧。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw7yyBtrGs
我說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LAi3sDB1l
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluOzMhfoJS
隔天早上，我接到春野櫻的電話。她冷靜地說她早就取消婚禮了，甚至有一半以上的婚宴邀請卡都沒有寄出去。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRurT1PnQ8Y
她說話的口氣十分平淡，沒有怨恨也沒有沮喪。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSF8BURsTf
“我懂你。”她說。聲音有一絲絲笑意。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaSPvU3rcl
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ImvPf847H
然後鹿丸也打給鳴人了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ULSQsgT4P
鳴人坐在沙發上，支支吾吾地應聲。我走過去，站在他身旁，他看了我一眼後迅速地掛掉電話。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKbMu7c32y
“怎麼了。”我問。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSTItCPcm4
他低聲囁嚅，我沒聽清楚。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ386Ouz9vCA
“鹿丸說…別被你給騙了。”他說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQDOuZDeDp
“…上次那個男的，是誰？”我問。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Vp4zh5rLF
“那個啊，”，鳴人似乎在竊笑。“只是一起打工的朋友而已，他想開我玩笑才那樣說話的。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMj0jlwRJ7
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAU7gaXnLD
我們搭了車到現在我住的城市。春野櫻已經打包好行李，準備搬離我和她同居的地方。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAweEDQPsjb
“祝妳好運。”我對她說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YnYnEEJaa
她笑，然後把鑰匙還給我。“這東西終於要交給正確的主人了。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfSVCVuhak
春野櫻把行李送到樓下，在門口處向我們道別。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGqe865jwc
“啊，”她在臨走前忽然靠近我，附到我耳邊說：“其實…我看得見那個。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVZq7YfdMD
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYlFydjymp
我像被電擊一般跳起來。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAj9UspyBJ
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQ5F5CWaAl
春野櫻露出神秘的微笑，揮揮手，走入電梯。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS8leoGVGH
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZK7XeD19x
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrOYUPdCPb
“對了，”鳴人把頭轉向我。“佐助，你不是說你養過寵物？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyeDBFND8h
我笑了笑，把門關上，一手搭上他的肩。“你好奇？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbqXYxpKFU
“當然。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1026wENan
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0auLeSrxxS
“那我會慢慢告訴你…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd7CvX0w7f
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUm8S70E651
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1pbhedxyN
兩個男孩，一隻貘，還有像春夢一般的故事。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ncQoaHl53
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88y64m15KK
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8WjZQabLJ
FIN
ns3.142.124.64da2 97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRD41qUemz
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHFdSVaB1M
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltzj3jiRGR
[佐鳴]事若春夢97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytmt5d6lDw
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocV3Akltik
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtCItOSuxP
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUV2zuNiiy
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmt3G5W0n9N
遲早都會壞掉的。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWgnyaL8fU
無論是過度擁擠的天空、群聚在大學樓頂的鴿子、被油汙和垃圾佔據的湖水，或是他似笑非笑、溫柔的眉角。那些東西，一次又一次掠過我削薄的水晶體，成像於視網膜，只看過一遍就全部忘記。它們遲早都會壞掉。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNUOtmY2OF
逐漸崩裂，碎開，甚麼也不剩。我知道我不必費力去記憶。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6Nk8tWqNy
當我看見他的日記時我就知道了。堅硬的字體在淡米色的紙張上徒然挺立，彷彿擁有鐵一般的決心。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaRElaZfGV
盒子裡面還有一些東西，我說不出來的、帶有涵義的東西。手心裡抓著的石頭，正毅然決然地將我阻隔在外。“第三者。”石頭似乎開口說話了。“妳永遠進不去。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIo2HtlSJN6
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uh1jN4eIP
我冷冷地捏碎石頭，翻開日記。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOzhksA3Z1
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Z2UbE5A3m
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbfGeIdoC9
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y6XJQl4Kg
● 我所豢養的一隻貘97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9RSkBkGeD
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKtAOUwjz3
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiEA88DGUU
那隻貘沒有名字。至少我還不知道要將牠取做甚麼。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPF9c9UXNOs
超乎人性的體貼，超乎想像的溫馴。我不是馴獸師，但牠非常愛我。就像情人一般，我們了解彼此。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcpg0rXyJE
…當我這樣告訴鳴人的時候，他先是沉默，最後噗嗤一聲笑出來。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMnSdy5Ars
“然後呢？”他橫躺在湖邊的樹下，“你決定將牠取名為甚麼？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7Rj0Fr9tW
我說我還不知道。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdK1dNpY3AW
鳴人看看我，抓起身旁一把枯葉，撒到半空中。他忽然站起來，拍拍屁股，說：“期中考不去，替我跟教授說抱歉吧。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7095GvSfe
然後走了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0OnevrX6G
鳴人缺考三次，缺席無數次，瀕臨退學。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mxP4v3spU
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOG76LwqAp
貘，我該怎麼跟他說才好？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveldRBz0nO
我撫摸牠。牠仰起頭，又短又肥的鼻子在空氣中抽動兩下。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sy0z3ZKmf
夜晚我抱著牠睡，感覺到前所未有的安全。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLv9ikKS7Ku
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyghdpfk2lQ
我還不知道怎麼告訴鳴人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBCesGyj2z
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERCZVzk3Bc
貘吃掉了我邏輯課的報告，厚厚一疊A4紙，被嚼得只剩下封面殘骸。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn74hBZBLk4
我苦笑，無法責備牠。牠的眼睛藏在黑色短毛中，有可能真的在凝視我，或者用動物的本能順從牠的主人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi33idbfBFP
上課的時候，我被教授點名站起來，大家交頭接耳議論紛紛。宇智波佐助居然也會忘記寫報告。他們是這樣說的。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7qIETtKPV
我不會回頭看那些看我的人，因為我知道他們都在看我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡge4XmZAv0e
唯獨鳴人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHPpQPxUni
他不在教室。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvgjtSx3AK
他去屋頂睡覺了，兩手背在後腦勺，舒舒服服地打鼾。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj3zrnWZLp
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLqq9zBt3r
鹿丸跟他提過一個英國詩人，Andrew Marvell，如此矯飾的詩，最後卻被鳴人拿來編成一首情歌。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhI0XQAwqMr
To His Coy Mistress，“致羞怯的情人”。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEISRgaLzO
鳴人並不是真的會彈吉他，他頂多學會刷弦。還是從我這裡學來的。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3ykFA6jPg
“為什麼要編這首歌？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TrA4BR4tf
“想追女孩。”他說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcl7XipHq0t
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJhlbqTYaZ
於是我的喉嚨有了一坨吐也吐不出來的膿血。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58wIoN0ieu
他揹著吉他離開宿舍，嘴巴裡哼哼唱唱。我痛恨Andrew Marvell，我更痛恨他說的那句：“我的愛會隨時間變化慢慢成長，比帝國的成長更慢，領域更廣。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeC8vAuzHH
這些柔軟矯情的句子很快就被鳴人含在口腔裡，鑽進另個女孩的耳朵。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwv5bDPQar
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EiUXSisCQ
至此我鄙視十七世紀的英詩文學。那些大多沒有營養，談情說愛。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluAjKJ4gkA
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAr2SE9JKMS
我決定將我的貘稱呼為“大貘”。“大貘”本身就沒甚麼意涵。如同他對我…我指的是，如同鳴人對我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXPigTMbrE
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWd6Di6T8E
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5qdZBtBJj
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES5ZjpArCO
● 97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfvXMqHh3E
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KG8JDOSJa
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUccaqN4xW
下初雪那天，背包裡的隨身手札被大貘咬出來，吃進肚子裡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WOI3SM4ts
當時我也許人在學校，也許在街道上任何一間咖啡館裡。鳴人和一個女孩手牽手從圖書館走出來，那女孩很漂亮，綠色眼睛，皮膚白皙，我知道她，她是系上最有人氣的女孩子。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvowGRwWVL
他們在門口揮別彼此。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOW3EGb6kJK
鳴人的鼻子紅紅的，沒戴手套，他把手插入口袋中取暖。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LtqnAITkW
我走過去，踩過鋪上薄雪的道路，但是還沒和他搭上話之前，鳴人就轉身了。他的臉一下子沉靜下來，不動不笑。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwFHgpdxin
我讓他踽踽地離開。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqEhwdtNXy
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjkno5NV3A
手札沒寫甚麼重要的。只不過夾有兩張鳴人在中學時期傳給我的紙條，還有一張他的照片。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAb1cjjfOK
我默默地和大貘對望。牠漆黑的眼睛曝露了牠心懷不軌的動機。可是我沒說破，也不拆穿，我讓牠一口一口吃掉屬於我生活一部份的東西。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtzOEvM4cN
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwaJJl1zwo
在往後的日子裡，我無數次看見那女孩。她叫做春野櫻，個性開朗活潑，很有人緣。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmMe5RwxQd
一日，我和鳴人在學生餐廳裡碰頭。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GlvtnTNJO
“嗨，最近過得如何？”我拉開他身旁的椅子。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeTQaqXFi5
他忽然面有難色。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3if5WDhIN
“怎麼了？”我問他。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORIiplf7m1
鳴人抱歉地對我笑。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUca0CU1zXd
“不好意思，可不可以不要坐這裡？我女朋友等一下要來。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf48Prgm8xO
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCv57EU7UFK
很久之後我才知道To His Coy Mistress已經被知名歌手改編過了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekDJW8q91V
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFEfu2O9Il
煽情。甜膩。旋律複雜得讓人厭煩。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQjsOdpaRb
兩個禮拜後，我也交了一個女朋友，叫做香燐，脾氣火爆但一遇到我就會柔情似水，像個小女人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5IYxchrOI
交往三天，我們就上床。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxANnjwLok
她摘下眼鏡，脫掉衣服，敞開雙腿如同吃飯一樣自然。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2403zntVb3
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL94rBP5rXr
完事之後，她拉上棉被蓋住自己的頭。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XrWT2A72V
我看見大貘窩在房間角落，不聲不響。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfRlgIHaZy
我抽一根菸，對牠說：“你有甚麼好不滿的。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSJCPhnXoV
香燐轉過來，問，你在跟誰說話？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs1UwmhDzG
我說，我在和我豢養的寵物說話。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaUUjSN3po
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfxD6RV5sM
她盯著我瞧，五分鐘過去，她俐落地穿上衣服，離開我的公寓。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4TDdSfbpk
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxWomqnjo7
然後我們再也不碰面了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqsOM51OND
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTmdruJ5c7
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmUFBFZaHq
●97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TWLcWkr55
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7xTPHAfNg
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMUrzSzl6K
我和鳴人都認識鹿丸。他是個頭腦比誰都還清楚的人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgKcdIbmRN
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46rSW0SHEH
大三下學期的暑假，我們這群中學同學一起去山上露營。對我來說，此行的意義看起來並不那麼單純。鳴人身旁的人還是春野櫻，他們已經交往一個半月。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gZ8wgA7Pu
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspdMqA8E1f
出發前一天，我溫緩地揉著大貘的肚子，告訴牠：“我不在的這幾天，要好好照顧自己。”然後遞給牠一本珍藏的相冊。牠用呆滯的表情咬過去，散漫地咀嚼。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7QQjbPA4Q
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UHHwGNL2u
鳴人的笑臉在牠的口水中逐漸扭曲、溶解。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRiSoJbyfG
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXRSCC5Svs
露營的第一天晚上，他和她手牽手離開帳篷。有人看到了，曖昧地對大家笑，我也接收到別人的視線，嘗試一起微笑，可是辦不到。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZ2KnRFefT
我掀開帳篷，跟著出去。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG5CAbxyBy
他們在月光下接吻，雙舌交纏，四肢糾結在一起。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xIUIj0RlA
末了，他推開她，說，抱歉，我們還是分手吧。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPXwUpdYez
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIDGK3F8WV
她的手來到他平坦無瀾的胯下，用力一捏，虛弱地哼笑。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsu1GHidi2
“真沒用。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkY6DyRTEn
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1zytM7TTf
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORwWLGBgGG
Andrew Marvell最終還是浮浮沉沉地落敗。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ag8RmdYQL
他不需要負責任，那和他的情詩沒有關係。我在此時卻開始憐憫起Andrew Marvell，這個熱情澎湃、矯揉做作的詩人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68VaNVpeug
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodWjqP7A5X
大貘走到我身邊，將頭靠在我的膝蓋上。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5H2OI77a9
我從地板揀起相冊的殘片，扔進垃圾桶裡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV37XeiQru5
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURr6gmvKoX
“該怎麼辦才好？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV576JQTXJ
我摸著大貘。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQ5tCNmaBn
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYhgCAWtV5
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKIOfrNP22
鳴人和春野櫻分手的理由，到現在還不明白。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqItLk5CmCK
他只不過沒有在適當的時候勃起，如此而已。他就要為了這件事和她分手嗎？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6uF2jNPGQ
鹿丸彷彿看透一切，獨自在宿舍陽台上抽菸，往下望。我在他的房間裡用打字機敲出期末報告。最近大貘的胃口變大了，把牆上那幅鳴人給我的畫連著畫框吃掉。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJUBBubQcU
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfKC6LHl79
“你想怎樣？”鹿丸突然撣落煙灰，問我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfEQQWEErC
“甚麼怎麼樣。”我沒停手。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcaUcffZfA
“對鳴人…”他的聲音越來越小，到最後乾脆不講話。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCl3zTVeiZH
我敲完報告，把紙撕下來，裝訂整齊。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORY7olABSl
離開房間前，鹿丸把我拉住。“從中學時就開始了，不是嗎？”他睿智的雙眼盯著我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUDKga0dmZ
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVhftm09ne
面無血色的窗簾自他身後揚揚飛起。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKi15JKCQKC
我逃開了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoWvKaJSZj
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2Gjz2fWiq
希區考克的電影，不是驚悚，而是在縝密之外闢出一條險路，讓你一腳踩入。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBDp5jXwFn
黑白畫面在電視裡兀自轉播，看到一半的時候，接收器毫無預警地壞了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NlznP54pn
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDKcsnRwLi
我和鳴人曾經如此要好。彼此都是心中最好的朋友和夥伴。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAaRAYH1RQ
有那麼幾次，莫名的預感告訴我，其實我們想的東西都相同。渴望更進一步、渴望撫摸。就在兩個人都還是中學生的時候，一個炎炎夏日，我握住他拿著冰棍的那隻手，輕輕吻上他。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoq1pT5Gjek
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWl4PhMcJG
他卻沒有預料中的反應。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSwuKuzuVO
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hG4fHsNHT
冰棍掉到地面，迅速蒸發。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzSX68OXWa
只留我一個人坐在公園的長椅上。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aPxg3cwr8
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGSvKqexW6
《繩子》裡面的long-shot，就是從那之後的，我的雙眼。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MsubOrG35
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJZ2mvrusM
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoNGvnXRsn
●97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuZ8hBIFpr
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU96LuBDCgs
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc6HqLWnbM
鳴人不斷地逃避我。用他一貫的微笑和友善。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8U4nGcyrrn
我們再次相聚四年，既快樂又悲傷。他過他的，我過我的，沒有誰起疑。除了奈良鹿丸。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmLReLLmOQ
大貘，你說我該怎麼辦？我該拿他怎麼辦？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwztoK3Ep7
我看著我的寵物吃掉一台收音機、兩捲卡帶、三張德式蛋餅(原本要拿來做晚餐的)、四顆蒜頭。牠滿足了自己的肚腹，舔舔鼻子，黑色眼睛斜過來看我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJVGbiggqP
你還想吃掉甚麼？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJ0aigcDrA
我搔搔牠的下巴，牠發出連續的呼嚕聲。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCVX9ow6lq
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsslofjPVB
鳴人被退學了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz6ggDaOVD
是在意料之中的預料之外。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnbvuHWRJc
這件事我從別人的口裡聽說，卻格外真實。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKx2Zwq3fg
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThWjlwKoBZ
我敲敲他寢室的門。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zlQJA5cMW
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fq8U2A4oO
“怎麼了？”他打開門，問我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7XQeWg4xL
“…皮夾沒了。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnrWyQVgWj
“怎麼會沒了？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiMEpGkwe3
“被我豢養的寵物吃掉了。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5h7HS0Ar8
他古怪地笑，然後讓我進去。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgvtMZvjPN
鳴人是個隨性的男孩子，房間有些凌亂，比上次我看到的還要亂一些。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmeZrP1PjT
“吃晚餐了沒？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70xYUf9zE8
“吃過了。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1b0fbopOAQ
“…喝點運動飲料吧，我看你流很多汗。”鳴人從床底下的箱子摸出一個鋁箔包，遞給我。“明天期末考對吧。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeV8v9Nj8x
“對。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56atR8bt0x
“這麼有把握拿滿分啊？”他笑。“還有空來我這裡瞎混。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhviEXj1Vca
鳴人戴上耳機，坐在書桌前，閱讀一本原文書。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGWWSm2T2U
我在他的床上沉穩入眠。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjdTgsg7xC
半夜時我醒過來，鳴人不在寢內。我走到陽台上，往下方看，他一個人站在花圃中，抱著吉他，嘴裡哼著歌。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSq7AGPkvJ7
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd54GufYOGX
“只要我們有足夠的空間和時間，這份羞怯，吾愛，就不算罪過…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLxXyMjdpD
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8M1yKnS22
是To His Coy Mistress。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vKqwO70oQ
我站在陽台，站一整夜。和他一起。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryH9UKXDqB
我們都沒有參加期末考試。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshT3aYwPw6
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsP4oJHvxA
大貘，你會明白嗎？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofOGFHpGF2
當你用空洞的眼睛看著我的時候，是不是有讀出我想說的任何訊息。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vhpNjYiSC
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1qBIWsBnQ
後天早上，同學們睜大眼睛，看著我走進教室裡。教授也走進來，一個禿頭佬，輕輕咳嗽，瞥我一眼。他沉重的目光透過又厚又大的鏡片傳過來。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Wz6WV826y
我聳聳肩。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiGv8ZYQrQ
他搖搖頭。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJ41ApGcTx
我知道，我丟了進他研究室的資格。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUotGWLe9HV
那也無所謂，畢竟我的畢業報告已經被大貘給吃了。牠津津有味地嗑掉膠裝封面，接著打個飽嗝。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnSGLpY3N3
“味道不錯吧，這份報告我可是寫了半年…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgblV1wvbLo
我說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3XtDAmYre
牠又用飽嗝來表示滿足。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95MSWUPGyv
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpadzC9CZ2y
鳴人很快就離開學生宿舍。他找到一間雅房，雨天的時候，外面下大雨，裡面下小雨。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSaJVCVuVa
他的朋友都去替他慶祝。七八個人擠在小小的房間裡，大肆喝酒聊天。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFD0KlKjxOR
我沒去，可是我知道那晚發生的事情。是鹿丸告訴我的。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8BeI45RRc
他說，鳴人喝得很茫，誰都不認得。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡst6f2iiQws
他說，鳴人喝茫了之後抓了人就亂親。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGxods1TJ4
他說，鳴人就在拉扯和親吻之間吐出一個人的名字。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoCVdDsuGN
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCSHojqVzN
“佐助…佐助…其實我…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGqZovNIXL
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDY91UJBaZB
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VWvGZuzu5
我說，鹿丸，夠了，我不想聽。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSM0dQTxaK
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzkzPjKQzG
沒有人懂我和他到底想要甚麼。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKvdZ3Vsrr
因為我們也不懂自己。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSlO3CUQ3s
被退學之後，他不再上大學，每天都在打零工。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyl7WepmMn
有人在洗衣店看過他，有人在咖啡廳看過他，甚至是深夜的加油站裡，也能看見他在椅子上打盹。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYEynTi93J
我猜想，他應該不再彈吉他了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcTHgpO38L
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ETIBslCm3
而我呢？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttF4hn9pyi
我仍然和大貘一起生活，並且在畢業前夕交了一名新的女友。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7loXn8Q5D
她叫做春野櫻。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Fsdwfq4ar
她周旋在我和漩渦鳴人之間，以快速又難以捉摸的姿態做一隻候鳥。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSOtL9iHa4
我並不喜歡她，可是她也不介意我是不是愛她。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKS0xtozzAK
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTpGr37mHM
“各取所需…你最了解的吧？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRf7FibJpZU
她撢去菸灰，笑了笑。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIfijfUtOA
我把褲子穿上，走出房間，倒一杯水給自己。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHyDAHrP8y
她佔據大貘的床，毫不介意地睡著。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcolSEXWuEC
大貘蜷縮在房子角落。我心疼地摸摸牠的頭，給牠吃一箱衣服。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YL4D4x0sa
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vA4zzOCj1
我聽說春野櫻偶爾會去找鳴人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIWYhuO7T3
也聽說鳴人和另一個女人在一起。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7tZ18JtaN
可是沒有人敢肯定地說，因為鳴人已經很久不出現在朋友面前了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6u9KMb9Kfw
他繼續過他的，我繼續過我的。我重新做回一名好學生，人人稱羨的高材生。在課堂上是睿智的、成熟的宇智波佐助，下課後，回到家裡，卻豢養一隻有可能根本不存在的貘獸。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yCaUi3gRH
只有奈良鹿丸一個人看透我的軟弱。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsj7E7oZF3
他看我的眼神，彷彿在嘲笑我的無能和膽小。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJZoaJLp9j
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNrRyzm9vd
大貘，我哪裡做錯了？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqp6YCZGF2
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3g1yYzIy0
時間會慢慢過去，而我們會遺忘。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2l9YLf0Bl
就像夏天裡逐漸蒸發的冰棒，一點一點消失在空氣裡。我說，奈良鹿丸，你一點都不懂我們。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRDxJD4yhm
他說，你才是一點都不懂鳴人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYAiKUEZVj
錯了，其實我們都不懂Andrew Marvell，才不能意會他的情詩。畢竟他說：“只要我們有足夠的空間和時間，這份羞怯，吾愛，就不算罪過…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMcnVuftXS
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFURRR0GZYB
三年後，我成為碩士生，和春野櫻訂婚。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mJyx4ck1W
她保有她的生活，保有她對其他男人接觸的權力，我向來不干涉這一切。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ji3IAor84
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yO3wlsN8Y
我的貘懶懶地抬頭看我一眼，然後繼續沉睡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9ER3U4inj
牠在這幾年越來越瘦，肋骨都清晰可見。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH6jSFZXkh
離開大學後，我和春野櫻搬到另一個繁榮的城市，並在那裡舉行婚禮。婚禮前夕，我搭了特快車回到故居，背包裡有一張要給鳴人的婚宴邀請卡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4gGJHiWBK
其實我本來不打算這麼做的，我把這張卡片湊到大貘面前，可是牠僅僅抽動鼻子，嗅了嗅，一點都不感興趣地撇過頭。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaRHt5Khhh
這也許是甚麼徵兆。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLQayNHO5t
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx3YgbQHnp
我走入鳴人原本該住著的公寓。經過這麼多年，他有可能已經不住在這裡。我嘗試敲門，可是狹窄的樓梯間裡除了回音之外，沒有任何動靜。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgibCpgppSL
十分鐘過去，半小時過去，我拿出邀請卡，想把它塞進門縫裡了事。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IdMJQE1hO
可是我聽見腳步聲，一步一步傳上來。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnEGcpmnZ8
我回頭，順間掉進湛藍的海底。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0D98o3qeA
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1FB0EFHVo
鳴人就在我後面，他麥色的肌膚，耀眼的頭髮，澄澈的眼神。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfMc6R8wXx
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOt7XFu6d5G
我甚麼都沒辦法開口說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKdbkJI6Db
他也張大嘴巴，愣愣地看著我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vTAuQlhSk
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MKhvFxMx7
“你…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNL8rDHTq4p
我想要問他，這幾年過得好不好。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBkT6HmQX7
就在我即將吐出一串破碎的句子之前，一個人影出現在樓梯，他慢慢走上來，站到鳴人身邊。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlxFr3UmiF
“怎麼了，不是說要回來拿東西？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvU28fFs8E
那男人，一手搭在鳴人的肩上。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jYCUBRgq3
他露出虛偽的笑容，眼睛轉向我。“這位是…？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0u3kNULbcv
沒等鳴人解釋，我就自己開口：“我是漩渦的大學同學，今天來拿邀請卡給他的。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5glps72zw
“…邀請卡？”鳴人喃喃地唸。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1i9siRjac
“我要結婚了。”我說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvEdjVEmRu
我相信我的嘴唇在顫抖。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwQH8aMada
鳴人的表情僵了一下，卻很快地恢復，並對我說：“恭喜。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3w0Y0lZt0
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPD6kAIgoj
我冷冷地抽了嘴角，瞥那男人一眼，再看看他，說，你也是。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4M0IY230uG
然後頭也不回地走了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAm5CQWf4O
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4p91dRytw3
我甚至忘記邀請卡還捏在手裡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPNubhkc1s
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTgSHSCEKq
大貘，直到現在我才明白我還愛他。我最喜歡的是他燦爛的笑臉，一副無所謂卻常常不甘心的臉，還有在草地上跑起來的模樣，兩隻手敞開，讓風吹過每一吋毛細孔。中學時，他常常和我分享同一塊麵包，同一個便當，同一把傘，甚至同一張床。現在我訝異我居然和他蓋過同一條被子而可以甚麼事都不發生。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYg3F70MinL
我想要他，不管是五年，十年，二十年，我仍然想要他。漩渦鳴人是一塊疙瘩，長在心上，長在我去也去不掉的地方。可是我卻抗拒一切發生，讓事情走到像現在這樣的局面。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qlncvKtfV
做甚麼也挽救不了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8fBIR9oGG
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4DRoCZG5z
我開著車，到市中心最繁華的地方，進去一間酒吧。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMOollsOqa
以前大學朋友常常來這裡聚著聊天，現在一點影子都不剩了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHKsjtkHGB
昏黃的燈光，香菸的氣味繚繞整個地下室，低聲笑語恍如隔世，我的耳中只有冰塊在酒杯裡碰撞的聲音。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7BCLYop3v
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLycAfKHpw
我沒有把自己灌醉。明天我將是一名新郎。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BiyWkPZ36
有人踩著皮鞋，走到我身邊，向酒保要一杯烈酒。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5ya7esozx
男人一口氣把酒喝完，發出嘖嘖聲。我忍不住轉過頭去看他。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvaqRsaeSk
那是一名纖瘦的少年，有著黑色的瞳孔和黑色的頭髮。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35tNQ2x9PY
長得居然跟我很像。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IFrtrZgnt
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4LTNu31l7
“你好。”他拘謹地說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQVWJF5ZLy
我挑挑眉。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL26OIgbGKP
“一個人嗎？”他問。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOQGkdFpvi
我把頭撇過去，沒理他。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9oaftX2Cm
少年自討無趣，又點了一杯酒。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDqhTaPwBV
“…看你落寞的樣子，大概是失戀了吧。”他說。“啊，也許你不需要安慰吧。你要結婚了嗎？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsDc8JN9nO
我有些意外，卻想起我就把揉爛的卡片放在桌上。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHTwbTk7qr
“你喜歡你的新娘嗎？”他問。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARQnYRQkdf
少年非常多話。我悶頭喝我的酒，沒回答。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrmtjAvhgp
“…大概是不喜歡吧。”他聳聳肩。“我知道你不喜歡。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpfwTGyWHR
我看他一眼，說：“你又懂甚麼了。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeD70BB1Fy2
“當然懂，”他微笑。“我知道你愛別的人。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIVNenqJQp
我冷冷地笑，說，現在已經不愛了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiI87JWxcAW
“不是這樣，我看得出來。”少年用黑色的眼睛盯住我。“你一直愛他。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuPsgALS6P
說完，他又自顧自地咂嘴。“可是既然你說你不愛，那就是不愛吧。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchFcIbDHh0
我沒理會他話裡的自相矛盾。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4WwzPEqQx
“愛就愛，不愛就不愛，沒甚麼大不了的。”他說。“可是你這種樣子，肯定只是鴕鳥心態。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcQKUPpB5b
我狠狠地把杯裡的酒飲盡。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzM2KTlSduN
少年咯咯笑，從口袋裡掏出幾張紙鈔和一些叮叮咚咚的東西。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDw8zeXbBi
他把東西都推到酒保面前，我聽見酒保不悅地說：“這甚麼？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjocvDA3lwm
我斜眼瞄他放到桌上的那堆東西，忽然看見一張已經扯破、撕爛的學生證。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqpXX4xTwn
上面那個人是我。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRGjdKTlKV
糊掉的學生姓名旁邊，有一行藍筆筆跡寫著：佐助大笨蛋。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhjt8Bo0WP
我倏然站起，看到寫了我的名字的會員卡、兩張鳴人傳給我的紙條、只剩半顆頭的鳴人照片…97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVBLH0fL5U
少年漆黑的眼睛把我吸進去。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUUkL3Pc4X
“還來得及，”他說。“只要你不畏懼。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbnlq85TRt
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ruR0Jr33y
我連帳都沒付就衝出酒吧。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HkMX3arDx
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCvDbFg1rC
街道上的行人變成一抹一抹的色彩，天已經黑了，我鑽入車子裡，引擎的聲音瞬間重擊我的心臟。我想到那些被大貘吞進肚子裡的東西，我想到牠總是一言不發地盯著我，我想到牠安靜地聆聽我說種種關於鳴人的事…可是牠卻不曾告訴我牠的想法。車子在夜色下拐了彎，駛到鳴人的公寓前。它似乎以一種莊嚴卻悲傷的姿態等待，也許公寓裡面有人，也許沒有，我踏踏雜雜地衝上樓梯，站在鐵門前，用力敲著門。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBv9AaCecMS
鐵門有打開的跡象。我緊張地探頭，燦黃的金髮跳入視線。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xQQxMtBUQ
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8SWIODqlv
鳴人穿著寬鬆輕便的衣服，愣在門口。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ855i5fF3kb
我還在喘氣，眼睛沒敢離開他一秒鐘。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99Y6ceYdvx
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lfsOnkL8e
“你…你怎麼會…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnEPoxydUz
“鳴人。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRolvNGE2Xl
我叫他。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENNfroWJvX
他像聽見甚麼不可思議的聲音，身體抖了一下。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixuFVhVP9l
“…鳴人。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs16EDMY5sh
我徑直拉開門，一手握住他的手腕。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4mdaY8wNz
他往後退幾步，掛上複雜的表情，用力著想要掙脫。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5u8hcYUFu
“你、你這麼晚還不回去，是要給我送婚宴的邀請卡嗎？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9qfD14vPA
他問。他硬是扯出笑臉，這樣的笑臉很難看，我只在中學時看過一次，就是在他被喜歡的女孩子給甩了的時候。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KHMVxLl8f
我逼近他，兩隻手牽制住他的肩膀，他虛弱地笑，嘗試扭動身體，但是在他看見我認真的眼神之後，他的笑臉逐漸變成慌亂的表情。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayuV6eWBGj
“你別跟我開玩笑，”他說。“拜託，快離開這裡。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ164zWuRwCG
“為什麼？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAwgpnbaOW
“沒有為什麼！”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkKpM4wHxg
“你還討厭我嗎？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccigcGKr7Y
“我沒有討厭過你…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrN1xT1rMZu
“那我們…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgpnF0b1cR
“你走開好嗎？”鳴人說。他的聲音已經快要失控。“你幹嘛現在出現？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ykZJgkmHj
“因為我明天要結婚了。”我清晰地說。“可是我喜歡你。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26EXHSIdFh
他噤聲。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3SgiT5lmN
我們都安靜下來。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48gd86UnDV
我把臉湊過去，感覺到他炙熱急促的呼吸。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr8JmuE8fh
“對不起。”我說。“我是真的喜歡你。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgU9lyjbbc
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4uzXPGqy4
我抱住他，緩緩地，把他的頭放到我肩膀上。我從來沒有那麼多話過，可是就在今夜，我們站在玄關，我跟他說我一點都不愛春野櫻，說我從中學時就一直深愛他，說我不敢繼續接近他的原因是我是個膽小鬼，沒辦法承受第二次失敗，我還說我只想要他一個人，我只想要漩渦鳴人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHKZsY2FGC
他默默地聽著，偶爾笑出聲，他忍著不讓淚水流出來，我也是，我們都很倔強，我們都在等時間去沖淡，可是有很多事情，時間只會把它繼續推移，繼續前進。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68pNUjYCM4
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyoGV5MDIA
“婚禮怎麼辦？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKgJICVvjB
他問。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzqZ5hCNbN
“取消吧。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw7yyBtrGs
我說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LAi3sDB1l
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluOzMhfoJS
隔天早上，我接到春野櫻的電話。她冷靜地說她早就取消婚禮了，甚至有一半以上的婚宴邀請卡都沒有寄出去。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRurT1PnQ8Y
她說話的口氣十分平淡，沒有怨恨也沒有沮喪。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSF8BURsTf
“我懂你。”她說。聲音有一絲絲笑意。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaSPvU3rcl
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ImvPf847H
然後鹿丸也打給鳴人了。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ULSQsgT4P
鳴人坐在沙發上，支支吾吾地應聲。我走過去，站在他身旁，他看了我一眼後迅速地掛掉電話。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKbMu7c32y
“怎麼了。”我問。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSTItCPcm4
他低聲囁嚅，我沒聽清楚。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ386Ouz9vCA
“鹿丸說…別被你給騙了。”他說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQDOuZDeDp
“…上次那個男的，是誰？”我問。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Vp4zh5rLF
“那個啊，”，鳴人似乎在竊笑。“只是一起打工的朋友而已，他想開我玩笑才那樣說話的。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMj0jlwRJ7
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAU7gaXnLD
我們搭了車到現在我住的城市。春野櫻已經打包好行李，準備搬離我和她同居的地方。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAweEDQPsjb
“祝妳好運。”我對她說。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YnYnEEJaa
她笑，然後把鑰匙還給我。“這東西終於要交給正確的主人了。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfSVCVuhak
春野櫻把行李送到樓下，在門口處向我們道別。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGqe865jwc
“啊，”她在臨走前忽然靠近我，附到我耳邊說：“其實…我看得見那個。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVZq7YfdMD
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYlFydjymp
我像被電擊一般跳起來。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAj9UspyBJ
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQ5F5CWaAl
春野櫻露出神秘的微笑，揮揮手，走入電梯。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS8leoGVGH
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZK7XeD19x
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrOYUPdCPb
“對了，”鳴人把頭轉向我。“佐助，你不是說你養過寵物？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyeDBFND8h
我笑了笑，把門關上，一手搭上他的肩。“你好奇？”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbqXYxpKFU
“當然。”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1026wENan
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0auLeSrxxS
“那我會慢慢告訴你…”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd7CvX0w7f
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUm8S70E651
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1pbhedxyN
兩個男孩，一隻貘，還有像春夢一般的故事。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ncQoaHl53
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88y64m15KK
97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8WjZQabLJ
FIN
