如果蜘蛛俠係香港人…（已完結） - 三

三

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「屌，好大陣味。」我由大廈外牆爬返入自己間房，自言自語地道。

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啲催淚彈味對我一點生理上既影響都冇，不過我就覺得好臭。

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我豎起耳仔凝神傾聽，梅嬸嬸仲響隔離房熟睡中。

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「唉，都要洗左佢架。要聽K Kw○ng講，唔可以撈埋其他衫一齊洗…」我一邊嘆口氣，一邊除左件蜘蛛俠緊身衣：「況且我自己都要沖個涼…唉，搞得黎都唔駛訓喇。」

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有時候，做超級英雄，係要犧牲啲野既。

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訓少一晚半晚，ok既。

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我諗。

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順帶一提，我為左唔好比人知我近視好返，我將自己副眼鏡既鏡片求其拆左出黎，再好似平時咁帶住佢。

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「柏彼得。」

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好眼訓呀…邊個叫我呀…

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「柏彼得！」

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咪嘈喇，我尋晚大戰完幾十個防暴呀。

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「柏彼得！！」把聲突然變到好大。

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「係！係！」我嚇到成個彈起！

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我響課室自己既座位度企左起身。

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係喎，我而家返緊學架喎。

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我低頭望一望，坐我隔離位既哈利掩住咀吃吃地笑，一副要睇好既樣。

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你個仆街仔…

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「柏彼得！你望住我！」啱啱果把粗獷既聲音大吼。

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嚇到我即刻將視線由哈利個死人樣移去我面前既呢個好兇既五十幾歲短髮肥佬身上。

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佢係我地既數學老師兼訓導主任－黎兆基。

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「係…係！肥基！呀，唔係，係肥佬黎！呀，唔係唔係，黎sir，乜野事？」我比呢把咁大既聲音嚇到有小小語無倫次地道。

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「上我堂你都夠膽訓覺！？」肥基怒吼：「你尋晚做賊黎呀？」

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做賊？

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我去做蜘蛛俠呀。

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「係，係！我尋晚去左做賊！」我唯唯諾諾咁應道。

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班上一陣竊笑聲。

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「仲敢駁咀！」肥基依舊怒吼，而竊笑聲令佢把聲聽落更加憤怒。

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喂…你問我係咪做賊，我咪順下你意答你係囉，咁都話我駁咀…

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「你同我出黎做左呢條數佢！」肥基怒指黑板：「解唔到既話你今日同我留堂！」

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我望一望黑板條數，心下冷笑一聲，一言不發咁走出去解決左條數佢。

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「咁OK喇？」我做完條數之後轉身望住肥基一笑。

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「…」肥基望住我做好果條數，冇聲出。

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「咁我返埋位先？」我試探性一問。

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「你放學之後黎教員室搵我！」肥基大聲回答。

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「吓…」你唔係話解決唔到條數先留堂既咩…

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「吓乜野？」肥基瞪視住我：「仲唔返埋位？」

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我冇得揀，唯有死死氣咁返埋位…

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條死仔哈利仲響度掩咀笑緊…

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「哈哈哈哈…你條死仔真係夠薑響肥基堂訓覺…」哈利倚住欄杆，指住我恥笑道。

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呢個時候已經係lunch time，我同哈利已經食完左我地既飯盒，響課室門口走廊既欄杆閒聊。

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順帶一提，哈利係個有錢仔，個飯盒入面全部都係鮑魚海參等等既珍貴食物，有時佢仲會話食得太多好厭，會分小小比我食。

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「食屎喇，你唔以為我睇唔到你響我比肥基鬧緊既時候笑得好開心呀！」我睇到晒呀！

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「咩呀，肥基指住你既時候我有拍你架！」哈利依然笑得好賤：「但你訓到好似隻死豬咁拍極都唔醒，係要等到肥基大聲嗌左你幾次先醒！」

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「吓，我有冇訓得咁冧呀？」我質疑。

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「我覺得你尋晚唔係去左做賊。」哈利收起笑容，一本正經咁上下打量住我。

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我心中微微一驚，唔係比佢估到我出去行俠仗義下嘛？完全冇可能架喎！我尋晚先第一次出動，邊有可能咁快有人識蜘蛛俠呀？

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哈利望住我，再一本正經咁講：「講！你尋晚對住三○悠亞打左幾多次飛機！？五次？十次？」

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「屌你。」我向住哈利舉中指。

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屌，嚇死人咩，我有一刻真係以為哈利知道我尋晚去左邊…

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明明冇可能架嘛。

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「喂，彼得。」哈利再次一本正經地道。

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「今次又點樣呀？」

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「我留意左你一段時間…」哈利定睛望實我。

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我既蜘蛛感應突然感覺到危險！

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我自然向後一縮，咁啱避開左哈利用佢右手食指同中指插向我眼睛！

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我避開左哈利既插眼攻擊。

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「嘩，駛唔駛避得咁快呀？」哈利兩隻手指仍然懸浮響空中：「我想督下你副眼鏡其實係咪冇鏡片啫。」

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「頂你個肺，嚇死人咩。」我道：「你問我咪得囉，駛乜襲擊我…」

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「哈哈，又唔係真係想插你眼，玩下咋嘛。」哈利嘻嘻笑道：「不過你避得真係快。」

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「係你慢啫。」我求其hea下佢。

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的確，佢插眼果陣既時候既速度的確唔算太快…

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「仲有，你做gym黎？」哈利一手拍落我個胸度：「嘩，真係結實左好多喎！除左件校服黎睇下先？」

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「屌你，咪玩喇！」我推一推開哈利隻手：「窮撚那有錢做gym。」

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就響我地仲閒談緊既時候…

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「喂！死肥仔！」走廊既轉角位突然傳黎一陣語帶不屑既聲音。

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