Carol and Sharon were arguing in the kitchen. Kyle was holed in his room with his cheap gamer headphones on and Kero Kero Bonito playing loudly in his ears. Anything to block out the yelling.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FWtz4X4V4
Sharon was the loudest but Carol was the one with the clever comebacks. Well, she thought they were clever anyway. What was the topic that tore this household apart? Whose job it was to take out the rubbish.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZChX7xgv73
Karen had tried to calm them down but was now sitting by the kitchen bench with her head in her hands. She eventually stood up and walked to Kyle’s room to confirm something. He was now swearing at a rival player in a game. She saw all the empty cans and dirty clothes on the floor. She went to her bedroom, took out her phone and began her search for babysitters on Friendful Marketplace.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhGd0gMDCw
The next day, she told the babysitter all she needed to know and made her way out into the outdoors. The sun dipped her smiling lips in a golden feeling of freedom.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnozra1OdEx
After a moment of glory, the smile faltered a little. What was Karen going to do now?
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjFKkUq9yI
She began wandering around the suburb, basking in the sun but feeling the dead coldness of boredom in her gut. Her eyes searched everywhere they could for something, anything, to do.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHVE4YHdl3
Her icy interior melted upon seeing a familiar face in an unfamiliar setting. Frema, clad in plain grey sweats, waved goodbye to a teenage boy wearing a kippah as he got inside a car with a man.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kd3HL6tpJ
When the car passed Karen, Frema saw her. Frema’s mouth and eyes widened. ‘H-Hello. Fancy seeing you here.’ She placed her hand on a piece of air where she thought the mailbox was, almost tripping over nothing as she continued lowering her hand in search of the mailbox.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRn1OnbPs6Y
Karen blushed on her behalf. ‘Yeah… I’m guessing that was…’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjNyNbPYSa
‘My son, yes. So, uh, what are you up to?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsY3OeSyHh
‘Not much. I’ve got the day to myself, but I don’t know exactly what to do with it.’ Karen chuckled awkwardly.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUOdaiaewf
‘Same here.’ Frema’s eyes began to glisten. ‘Would you like to go to the beach together?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwk1kV5Edg
Karen blinked. ‘The beach? Isn’t that a little…’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0atr1nz070
‘Well, you’ve got nothing to do, right? Ooh, wait, I’m gonna get my camera!’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEec7Ci2jF0
Before Karen could protest, Frema ran inside her one-story red brick house. Karen waited next to the lush garden, with its vast array of photogenic flowers. The garden stood in stark contrast to the house itself, which was plain and displayed a big crack in the front window.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzh6l9jRb4
After a few minutes, Frema came out of her house with a large, age-worn black camera around her neck, two wide-brimmed hats in her hands and a green blazer on her body. Underneath that blazer was a navy blue and white striped top. Her tight denim skirt hugged her curves. Did Karen notice? Is water wet?
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8MyjRoDMv
Karen looked down at her old, raggedy three-quarter jeans and her loose, slightly holey green t-shirt with the words ‘Follow Your Dreams’ stuck on the chest.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6CDiI3aQG
‘Oh look, we match,’ Frema said. ‘Cute top, by the way.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZEA13MPb4
Karen grabbed the hem of her top and raised it ever so slightly. ‘This old thing? I didn’t exactly plan on you seeing it.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto6vXXz7Y7
‘I know. Still cute.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNxssDHiua
Cute.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LJ5dXB3Sn
That word lodged itself in Karen’s brain and refused to let go.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc124VgIGXm
Karen laughed a little too loud. ‘Let’s go to the beach!’ she yelped as she snatched one of the hats and plopped it on her head. Her eye twitched a little at the hat mussing her hair, but ther corners of her mouth stayed up.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaAOk0b2Ka
‘We’ll take my car,’ Frema insisted. Karen agreed. After Frema drove it out of the garage, Karen squeezed into it. Her knees were nearly up to her chin sitting in this cramped car, but at least it was clean and smelled like lemons.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdPa6soTCJ
While gently putting the camera in the back seat, Frema told her, ‘I’ve got an old MP3 player. Choose any songs you like.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqJNgRdftt
As she scrolled through the songs, Karen recognised virtually none of them. Some songs appeared to be in foreign languages and others looked like obscure indie rock songs. Frema’s taste looked eclectic, having every genre under the sun. That is, except for pop and popular rock.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW07JSjrut1
Karen eventually settled on an obscure rock album that had a pretty cover. Frema grinned. ‘Good choice.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLASMphubI
‘I can’t believe I’m doing this. The beach? Really, Karen?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC3W1H2JZj
‘Live a little. It’s your day off, right?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3vCSvpu5o
Karen nodded. The car was silent for a moment until Karen spoke. ‘So, uh, your son…’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbsFWDvck0
‘Joshua. He’s spending the rest of the week with his father.’ Frema’s grip on her wheel tightened, her knuckles turning white. Karen felt a slight sting in her chest at the mention of Frema having a male partner. Frema shook her head. ‘Anyway, what are you looking forward to doing at the beach?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM1rDQRLIB
Karen looked up at the car ceiling in thought. ‘I haven’t built a sandcastle in years,’ she said. Frema hummed. Karen tilted her gaze down to her lap. ‘How old am I?’ Frema’s pleasantly unpleasant laughter spilled from her lips like expensive wine.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArHEc2DvhW
Throughout the ride to the beach, Frema spoke the most. However, Karen added to the conversation with relative ease. She asked her where she got the camera from and, after receiving the answer (her father), when she got interested in photography.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0H2roUR6a
‘I always wanted to try photography but I only really got into it around last year, after…’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwL132zGBG
The white knuckles returned. This time, Karen changed the subject and the heavy air quickly lightened.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtU78ss0NDz
After an hour or so, they arrived at the car park above the beach. Karen’s hat blew away as soon as she got out of the car. She gasped and ran after it but cool gusts of wind kept pushing it away. When she finally managed to pick it up, she pulled it down until it was tight on her head. Frema laughed again, eliminating any chances of Karen’s cheeks cooling down any time soon.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3HJedfHA1
There was a constant temperature shift on Karen’s skin as the cool sea breeze battled against the blazing sun. The air smelled salty and sounded like giggling children, reminding Karen that she was a grown woman going to the beach without her family. She tried to pull down her hat even further to cover her face but it would not budge.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6V4BP7LnM
The two giggled like the kids nearby as they hobbled down the wooden stairs to the beach. Frema raised her arms and drank in the sun before taking her shoes off and running to the shore. Karen gingerly sat down on the sand and watched her splash around.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeNdOr5JP0
At one point, she looked up at the sky. It was mostly clear but had a few clouds. The very last time she had gone to the beach with her husband, it was completely clear. She frowned until her gaze returned to Frema. A few clouds would have to do.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWjwobjlZW
Karen began digging into the sand, taking a large sum of it and dropping it next to the hole. She ignored the stares and continued doing this until she had created a makeshift castle. The dry sand frequently slipped through her fingers, but she loved the coarse texture in her hands. It reminded her of the wood shavings she brushed away when building a cubby house with her daughters.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG2NTxfmux
Sharon and Carol, around age seven at the time, had found a book on woodworking at the school library and begged Karen to help them build something. Her husband joined them and, eventually and reluctantly, so did Kyle. The whole family painted the built cubby house and took multiple photos of Sharon and Carol entering through the little door.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcNzflYyli
At the beach, Karen finally realised she had stopped building the sandcastle and was now absentmindedly playing with the sand. Her face was overtaken by a solemn expression, one that Frema noticed all the way from where the shore met the water.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2zbOArXDF
The taller woman ran back to Karen and asked if she was having fun. Karen crossed her arms and looked away.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqh8o9aNTu
‘I am too old for this after all,’ she said.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjCfNlszwQ
Frema knelt down by the sandcastle and inspected it. ‘This is actually pretty good, though.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BvhVV2uV9
Karen, her cheeks rivalling the sun above, lifted her hand to push the sandcastle down. Frema grabbed her hand to stop her. Her hand was warm and soft, contrasting against Karen’s skin, chapped from years of building things with her daughters.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKs84PLVXt
‘Wait, leave it. I want to take a picture.’ Frema ran back to her car to grab the camera. ‘Smile!’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDMODxYTgR
‘I said I’m too old for-’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bOIwTigwH
‘Then quit acting like a child,’ Frema retorted with a glare that immediately softened. ‘Come on, smile for me.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TqkpCY5sV
Karen sighed but complied. ‘I’ve never been photogenic.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX22SnskGg
Frema looked at the photo she had taken. ‘Well, congratulations, 'cause now you are.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVZsgEfrzI
Karen covered her face. ‘Stop it!’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIwbVmKduV
‘I’m serious.’ Frema showed her the photo, widening Karen’s eyes. Karen turned her head at an angle as if admiring herself in the mirror. ‘I can take a more stylistic photo with you looking in the distance if you want.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4wQRWhouD
‘No, that’s quite alright.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXaYS0Ofmj
Frema sat next to Karen and took some photos of the ocean, then different shots of the crowd of beachgoers. The two talked as she did this, only taking one break for a lunch of fish and chips near the beach. Over time, the crowd weakened as more families left. Even with the sun beginning to set, Karen didn’t ask to head back home.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ndlX47U7C
‘So, what was your son’s name again?’ Karen asked.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiomqjRUg8D
‘Joshua. He’s a very sweet boy. I like to think I raised him right. But try telling his father that.’ Frema paused. ‘Never mind. I’ve said too much.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbN03wevAXm
Did Karen seem like the type not to pry? ‘I’m guessing you two are… divorced?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPoXif3zB8
Frema nodded with a sigh. She looked into the viewfinder at the ocean like it could transport her anywhere else. The crashing waves were not quite soothing enough to make the conversation easier.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIbzks9flW
‘Now Younes has custody every day of the week except for Fridays.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHbD3tgxw2
‘But surely they would give custody to the mother.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9J3XQuGI8n
‘Well, in the legal system, sure. For the religious divorce, well, I guess I’m just lucky he agreed to divorce me instead of keeping me with him. We made a deal. I get to separate from Younes and see Joshua once a week, so long as I don’t corrupt him.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkADv1mcTNR
Karen’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. ‘Corrupt?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckLvL9B4LP
The camera shook in Frema’s trembling hands. ‘Younes thinks… well, his synagogue thinks… I’m going against the Torah. He’s Orthodox, you see. His particular synagogue doesn’t take too kindly to, uh, gay members.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCo5AR1btrw
Something burst in Karen’s chest, creating an explosion of shock, hope and shame. The sensation was so powerful she had to cough it out.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvbUGRXyPm
‘I see. Are you still, uh, Orthodox?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSihAolHLdN
‘I’m Reform now.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpW4Rg6iwt
‘Do you like it better?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jtO9HiljG
Frema lowered her camera at that question. After a long pause, she replied, ‘I miss the Orthodox traditions sometimes. That’s why I keep following kosher even after leaving.’ With a laugh, she added, ‘Some of my Reform Jewish friends give me funny looks about it, but I want to keep that close connection to my faith. It’s not like I had much choice to leave my Orthodox synagogue. I wasn’t welcome there.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuhbzRfjJ1
She gulped and held her head in shame. ‘I spent so long being my parents’ perfect little girl that I lost myself. I even picked on a boy in year 7 ‘cause he looked gay, whatever 13-year-old me thought that meant.’ Her laugh was pretty but bitter, a shell of its usual self. ‘And for what? So I could end up a giant lezzo myself? I mean, I didn’t know I was at the time, but I still feel like a hypocrite.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsEhC0uquS
She kicked the sand in front of her. ‘As soon as I told Younes the truth about me and asked if we could separate, I knew I had to leave my old life behind. You couldn’t make me go through conversion therapy if you dragged me there by my legs. I had to start anew.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5daiUCb5H
Karen, unsure how to respond to that, kept silent. The duo listened to the sounds of the beach and matched their breaths to the crashing waves.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJdVgFJIBw
After several minutes, Frema finally spoke. ‘What about you? Did you get divorced?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXJDlAgXZZ
Karen bit her lip. ‘He died… wow, I think it’s been almost three years. Cancer. It’s funny you brought up religion since I’m pretty sure God’s against me. Or, at the very least, he owes me big time for taking him away from me.’ Tears pinched her cheeks as they fell down them, turning them red and sore. Frema reached out to comfort her but pulled back before touching her. ‘He should be making my life easier after letting something so horrible happen, but no! He had to leave me to care for my children alone and find a way to keep my finances together without my husband’s income.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1y1fAdD2VS
She flailed her hands about. ‘When I see these young people complaining about dealing with shitty customers, I’m like, boo-hoo! Wait till you have to raise three children alone! Wait till you have to feed more mouths than your own! Wait till you have to worry when the prices of groceries go up! Bloody ungrateful pieces of…’ the rest of the words were jumbled under her low-pitched swear fest.
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPXxb3ns1d
Frema scowled at her. ‘It’s not their fault life hasn’t dealt you the best cards. You don’t know what their lives are like.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLf57q4JrZ3
‘It’s got to be easier than mine!’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvQicUIb63
Having finally spilled these thoughts out of her mouth, the cluttered mess in Karen’s mind cleared. ‘I… I’m sorry. Why do you even put up with me? You hated me until…’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYo1dNXd72
‘I wouldn’t say ‘hate’. I was half pissed, half amused.’ Frema leaned back on her hands behind her. ‘But when you complimented my jacket, I didn’t know what to think. All I knew was that I had to learn more about you, about how one person could change their treatment of you on a dime. And I’m glad I tried to learn more.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzeSCeGBNR
Frema’s glorious chuckle returned. ‘I guess it must have been the halo effect or something. I have a feeling I wouldn’t have been so forgiving of your behaviour if you weren’t so cute.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FRsFkMMQx
Karen coughed again. ‘What?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyleu1IRIck
Frema looked away from her and towards the shore. ‘I said what I said. Don’t worry, I won’t try anything if you’re straight.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wmBXju5rx
Karen grasped her own shirt in front of her heart. ‘Of course I’m straight! I had a husband!’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DiyXG8uMu
‘So did I. I don’t know your life.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4T7sx5Oot
‘A husband who I loved. Genuinely.’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YGDWEiADy
‘Fair enough. There is bisexuality, though.’ Frema nonchalantly placed her hand on Karen’s. Karen had to remind herself to breathe. Of course this had to be happening during a beautiful sunset. Frema’s hand enveloped Karen’s like a warm blanket. ‘Is that a possibility for you?’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5f9RukRhl
Karen couldn’t bring herself to answer. Eventually, she pulled her hand away. ‘Take me home now!’
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmp3aDXzKmx
Frema’s eyes glazed over with an unknown emotion. ‘Fine.’ The two headed back to the car and drove back to their suburb. Karen reluctantly gave her address and allowed Frema to take her home. Aside from that, they did not talk the entire trip home583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuDAzB42RP
583Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxLhUPRCgq
