"Sorry, Madam?" I opened my eyes and there was Aatish. Of all the servants and workers on the estate, he was my favorite. A quiet older man, whom, no matter what, was always smiling. I swear you could have killed the man's dog and he would have said "It was God's will," and smile up at the sky.
He leaned over me in the lounge chair with the cordless phone in his hand, waiting for me to sit up. When I did, he continued. "Madam, Miss Inderjit has called to say that she will be quite late today. Do you wish to speak to her?" He held the phone out and a little closer so I could grab it.
"Thank you Aatish, I'll take it here," I took the phone and smiled.
"Can I get anything for you Madam?" his old eyes gleamed contentedly.
"No thank you Aatish, I appreciate it."
"Not a problem Madam," he bowed in my direction and walked away. Like I said, my favorite.
"Hey Indi."
"Hey Didi. Listen, I'm sorry I'm going to be late today. I have to go to the city to meet with Ranjit. He's seeing a specialist."
"Is he okay?" My body immediately jerked itself forward and I started to worry. Everything had been going so smoothly for Indi so far, there was no way it could have continued to flawlessly.
"Yeah, he's fine," she hesitated and I could tell she wasn't telling me everything.
"Indi," I used my most guilt filled voice to coax it out of her.
"Well, everything should be fine." She stopped again without really explaining.
"What's wrong?"
"We'll it's not really a specialist, it's..." she paused and it sounded like she was trying to cover the handset. "It's a fertility doctor."
"A fertility doctor?!" I covered my own mouth in shock. When did they start trying to have children? Or even thinking about it? "Why so soon?"
"Well..." I could hear the hesitation in her voice, something, unfamiliar when it came to the two of us talking.
"Indi, is everything okay?"
"Well, Ranjit told me last night that there is infertility in his family. He has two aunts and a cousin who all can't have kids. It's some genetic trait." I couldn't help but sit back in my chair again, letting the news wash over me. This was something that we hadn't thought about. For the last few months, Indi had been so engulfed in the wedding plans that we'd never discussed children. The wedding was always the forefront. My chest grew heavy in anticipation for her.
"Do you think he has it too?"
"Oh God Divya, I hope not. My father wants sons for sure. I swear it's the only reason he's letting me marry Ranjit in the first place, to continue the bloodline. Get a few more Vikrams out there in the world."
"Are you going to be okay?" I couldn't think of anything else to say. What did you say in this kind of situation? All I knew, is that every part of me wanted it to work out for her. "Can I do anything to help?" What was I going to do... Stupid.
"Just don't mention it to him. Ever. He's so embarrassed Didi. He thinks I'm going to leave him."
"Are you?" That thought hadn't occurred to me. Apparently it hadn't occurred to her either.
"No!" She burst out, then hushed herself again. "I would never, not for this." There was another pause and I knew she was contemplating something. "But..."
"But what?"
"But..." She sighed heavily. "But I think he might leave me." I knew she was trying to hide it but I could hear she was on the verge of tears and it killed me. She was my best friend in the entire world and this was her time. She deserved her happiness with Ranjit.
"Do you really believe that?" I didn't know Ranjit very well, but from what I could tell, he'd truly been in love with her.
"I don't know Didi, I don't know what he'll do."
"Well," I wasn't really sure what to say. They didn't have any answers and were both scared to death of being apart and not being able to please their parents. "Well why don't you and Ranjit to to the doctor, find out for sure, and then, at the very least, you have somewhere to work from. Right now you're both scared. You'll be far less scared when you know for sure. Whatever the answer is." At least I imagined that would be the case.
"I guess..." I could hear Ranjit in the background calling her name. "Look I gotta go, but I will stop by after. Depending, you know?"
"For sure Indi, take your time. Don't feel like you have to come. Just let me know what happens okay?"
"Okay." The word barely came out between Indi's chattering lips. She was incredibly nervous and had every right. I could only pray that things worked out for them.
"Good luck honey," I used my most soothing voice, hoping it would work. when she sighed again, I knew it had, at least a little bit.
"Shukriyā Didi. Phir milenge. (Thank you Didi, see you.)"
"Bye Indi." I hung up the phone with a heavy feeling in my chest. I couldn't believe this was happening to her. After everything they'd been through with their parents not wanting them to marry at first, her being Hindu and him Sheikh. And now, with the possibility that they may not be able to have children. It wasn't looking good.
And then it occurred to me, I wasn't even sure if I wanted children. I had never put much thought into it. Even when Indi had gone off on her rants about wanting one boy and one girl, I'd never really thought about what I'd wanted for myself. Did I even want to get married really? Wouldn't I just be happier on my own? Working? With Papa?
As I thought to myself, the gate opened at the end of the driveway and Sunil's black SUV pulled up to the front of the house. I wrapped my yellow towel around myself as he made a point to look over and nod in my direction, smiling warmly as he made his way to the door. I returned the smile and watched as Rohit, our doorman, let him in from the inside.
Was I really hopeless like Indi had said? Would no one want to marry me because of my independent attitude? How was it not a good thing to be independent and self reliant as a woman? Does every Hindustani woman have to fall at the feet of her husband or the men in their lives? I know my mother didn't. Preeti Sankar was the most independent woman I'd ever known. She was the one who taught me that when things aren't working out, that I should work them out, that I should always have a means of my own and I should do something in life that I'm proud of. "You should have some self-accomplishments that you can tell your children about..." I remember her saying over and over. I guess she did want me to have kids after all.
I couldn't help but sigh with all the negative thoughts brought on all at once. Really I'd been hoping that Indi would come over as usual and we'd spend the day lounging and planning. But with all she was going through right now, I didn't think I'd see her later. She needed the time with Ranjit anyway.
Closing my eyes, I tried to just relax, sitting back in the lounge chair, covering my face with my arm and blocking the hot sun from my eyes. I made it to about thirty minutes, but my mind wouldn't let me have the relaxation it craved. Giving up on relaxing, I threw some weighted swimming targets in the pool for fun. Maybe the water will help to cool the burning skin and burning thoughts plaguing me. Maybe I should actually do some exercise like we'd originally planned.
The cool water sent an immediate tingle all over my body as each part broke the surface. I could feel the immediate relief as my fingers broke through, followed by my elbows, shoulders, and waist. My hair slapped the surface as the last bit was dragged down under the water.
Through my clouded vision, I could see the first target, closest to the opposite side, halfway down the slope of the deep end. Pushing forward, a was just able to grab it before tightness in my chest cinched again, my body wanting air. Finding the bottom with my feet, I pushed off with everything I had, squeezing my eyes shut until my head broke the surface.
Taking a deep and much needed breath, I put the first target up on the deck and looked for he next two. One was in the middle of the pool and the other in the deep end. They were close enough that I could get both of them at the same time. Consciously, I tried to slow my breathing, taking in full, deep breaths and then slowly letting them out in preparation.
I heard a noise behind me just before going under, this time with my eyes closed, headed in the direction of the first target in the deep end. I only opened my eyes for a second to make sure of where it was before turning back for the second one by the pump drain. My chest cinched once as I made my way over, having to have opened my eyes again, now that I'd fully changed directions. I could see the last target faintly and head towards it swimming as fast as I could. Suddenly it was like I hadn't taken enough air and my body knew it before I did. I scrambled towards the last target, my chest just inches away from the bottom of the pool in order to see.
As soon my hand clasped around the plastic and fabric, I found the bottom with my feet and pushed off. Just before I could fully extend my legs, something ripped my head backwards and my feet floated up from underneath me. Grabbing my head, I could feel my long hair being pulled back behind me, inch by inch. Had I been out of the water, I may not have noticed but with how tight my chest felt, there was no way I could miss it, the pool slowly dragging me, inching me further to the bottom. I panicked. Struggling to turn around, with nothing to push off of and my hair stuck to the bottom, I didn't know what to do. I went to scream for help only to watch as a line of bubbles floated up above my head. My chest cinched again. Bad idea. No one was around to help me. No one knew where I was, except Aatish. He knew I was at the pool, maybe he would come back. Or Papa? Indi?
My heart hammered inside my chest as my lungs screamed for air, burning a hole right through me. I could feel the cloudiness fill my head as I struggled to pull my hair from the trap, wanting nothing more than a single breath of air. I could swear I was crying as I continued to pull with little energy I had left, the cloudiness muddling my head even further. I couldn't fight it. I knew I wasn't going to win. The muscles in my chest heaved against the vacuum of the water, every time like a punch to the chest. Was this it? Not thinking clearly, I screamed in a last ditch effort, watching as what little air I had left made it's way freely up to the surface, up to the light that was now fading. The last thing I felt was my lungs fill with water, like another swift kick in the chest.
Then, everything went dark.257Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZlpFmSCGY
