豬頭牢牢抱緊結他一邊跳一邊歡呼,就像個小鬼一樣為節日歡呼;我望著此刻的豬頭,然而,心中卻百感交集。972Please respect copyright.PENANAQMnd1mdXoV
972Please respect copyright.PENANAN0HwnhJGci
「大家,謝謝你們不單冒著雪賞臉觀看,而且還投入其中,我真的、我真的......非常非常非常感動!」她隨手將結他塞到重新坐下椅上的我手中,然後向觀眾彎了個九十度鞠躬,這姿勢起碼維持了數秒之久,使得剛才喧鬧的現場一瞬間再度陷入寂靜,不只是我,看來大家都被突如其來的肅穆惊到了。972Please respect copyright.PENANAeBdLaOpE94
972Please respect copyright.PENANA9b2pnQHTo2
「如果......將來再有機會的話,我們下年再見吧!......時候不早,是離開的時候了,再見。」972Please respect copyright.PENANAucS5fUi18o
972Please respect copyright.PENANAEW2hZ0U3Rx
她向觀眾道別後,隨即重新坐下收拾好帶來的行裝,起初我以為她是趕著離開,然而她收拾好一切之後,卻像個掉線人偶一樣無力的俯身垂下頭,連觀眾的道別跟感謝也不屑一顧。972Please respect copyright.PENANAFwE38v4rPu
972Please respect copyright.PENANAokwfjRI19B
「你的表演很好,非常、非常的精彩。」972Please respect copyright.PENANA9vL0SxE3WO
972Please respect copyright.PENANA7fjPtbcyuf
「當然囉......做戲當然是做全齣。」972Please respect copyright.PENANA4TBM1Ic6Bn
972Please respect copyright.PENANAWSzQj005KN
「剛才的心情也是戲的一部份?」972Please respect copyright.PENANApDnwfsuXkk
972Please respect copyright.PENANA1Yj2r1a0hF
「......當、當然。不論怎樣,最後一場總算落幕了,我現在只想睡個好覺,明天起床才離開......」她不是說笑,這傢伙真的就這樣睡著了,最後只好邊背著她邊抽著行裝回去,媽啊......這等於我們倆所有行裝(連人帶衣物)的重量都壓在我身上。972Please respect copyright.PENANANSrjvTc5jb
972Please respect copyright.PENANA62LAiV1rYZ
雖然回家的路途實際上沒多遠,不過身負如斯重擔,再短的腳程也舉步維艱,加上我跟她身高差不多,所以是幾乎腳拖地的像被我「拖行」。972Please respect copyright.PENANAC90NgDNWAB
972Please respect copyright.PENANATMcMpGFlpl
「其實呢......」後腦勺冷不防傳來她的夢話,我沒有回應,只管繼續前行,再不趕快回去呆在戶外的話早晚變雪雕。972Please respect copyright.PENANAv7K6bYHN8N
972Please respect copyright.PENANACBsJbaGLn1
「如果可以的話......我還是希望能夠一直這樣──」972Please respect copyright.PENANAFjfRMHciMz
972Please respect copyright.PENANAHN8BJYSfom
我繼續前行,只想盡快離開這片冰天雪地。972Please respect copyright.PENANA5hO0lFEM70
972Please respect copyright.PENANAAaQoZ3XPm9
「自我被那爛院舍趕出來後......就一直四處飄泊,獨居過,也合租過,但都不長......直至遇上你──」972Please respect copyright.PENANA1ibZROHD7S
972Please respect copyright.PENANAVTUbcuJvjW
我還是自顧自的走回家,公寓的門口已經進行視線範圍。這麼說來,其實我們都一樣......972Please respect copyright.PENANAgo2GGo2LkP
972Please respect copyright.PENANAOmoFHcBl7A
「不過......走出欄的那頭豬,始終還是家豬,沒有成為野豬呢......在欄外世界的探險,已經告一段落,是時候回豬欄了......」972Please respect copyright.PENANAg1jIs4aDkG
972Please respect copyright.PENANAf4BON5cfd8
縱使是幾日前已經知道的事實,但我還是不敢再親耳聽一次──972Please respect copyright.PENANAa3y5G8h9aB
972Please respect copyright.PENANAhAbyjBeFkF
────972Please respect copyright.PENANAsHbYOR3T5a
972Please respect copyright.PENANAzUeGAcu70k
「平安夜結束之後,我就會正式離開。」972Please respect copyright.PENANAJejVxOB7gp
972Please respect copyright.PENANAJUoHgMoN67
三日前,失聯已久的她再次踏足「我們」的家門,她開口的第一句話就是這句,原以為失而復得的我幾乎嚇得仆倒在地。972Please respect copyright.PENANARK9hshJNVc
972Please respect copyright.PENANAFpXxAt3SeI
「我會搬回老家。這段時間,在你找不著我的日子,其實我都在老家照顧老爹,他的狀況愈來愈差,所以我決定要回去陪他渡過最後的日子了。」972Please respect copyright.PENANAUnjRBVCkiK
972Please respect copyright.PENANA2gjL8PeuQ6
「我覺得,對我們而言,最近所發生的事情就是一個契機,讓我們重新面對被自己逃避的家人。」972Please respect copyright.PENANAfBE0H5akhs
972Please respect copyright.PENANAReMJ4WOoFT
「當我看見她凍死街頭之後,我就一直思考,小時候我只趕得上看媽媽的遺體,下一次可能是在家中失救凍死的老爹,最後就是我自己。我已為自己的事做好心理準備,但我不想在家人的事上重蹈複轍。」972Please respect copyright.PENANAZ8QQmF5m3X
972Please respect copyright.PENANAjvKW1oV9I3
原來......她之所以離「家」出走,是因為這件事,我還以為是──972Please respect copyright.PENANAImSGTjz4ZE
972Please respect copyright.PENANA2cCb6CNRm4
「所以,其實無論如何,我都已經下定主意要回老家,只不過那件事......讓這個時刻更快來臨而已。」972Please respect copyright.PENANACDlB7DHCTX
972Please respect copyright.PENANADfstzjc6Zn
雖然我已看不出她的身上散發出任何恨意,不過亦找不著那朝夕相對幾近兩年的豬頭。972Please respect copyright.PENANAgS7UWQcQ8R
972Please respect copyright.PENANAcdg7HnZNhk
「現在這種情況,要是繼續待在一起,我們早晚也會討厭對方的。」她這樣對我說。972Please respect copyright.PENANAgEB7VOHePw
972Please respect copyright.PENANAND3hKOf1rA
「不過,既然剛才你一副要哭出來的樣子求我,我就勉為其難,陪你過完聖誕才回去吧,這樣就沒甚麼還可以抱怨後悔了。」972Please respect copyright.PENANA6btwEJ8jgn
972Please respect copyright.PENANADLYL1cAuPm
「將我們對對方的記憶,永遠保存在最美好的一刻吧。」她笑了,那是我親眼目睹過,最溫婉的、笑容──972Please respect copyright.PENANAL04ycFc1nB
972Please respect copyright.PENANAeW6i5FVrj0
「是時候回到我們『本來』的家了。」972Please respect copyright.PENANAnwtrVsjCH9
972Please respect copyright.PENANAWGJG2PGA4c
────972Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9QIuBkftR
972Please respect copyright.PENANA1bvWzsadF9
我可以做的,就只有當她此刻說的一切都是夢話而不理會。這是唯一的選擇,要是我們都動搖了,最終只會連累她,我已經自身難保,不單是生活費的問題,而是同時開罪黑白二道,早已成為甕中之鱉,今次能脫身縱使已經是奇跡,但還是耗盡了我的所有,下一次就不可能再有脫身機會了。抱歉,如同你所說,我是貨真價實的廢物,只懂一次又一次的演繹何謂成事不足,敗事有餘。我已經不敢再奢求能改變任何事,只要狀況不進一步變壞就已經心滿意足了......對不起,我已經沒有能力回應你的期望......972Please respect copyright.PENANAO3z7uAwHWN
972Please respect copyright.PENANAaiZw0KJ1JT
這短短幾個路口的腳程,彷如登山一樣,抵達大門之際,我亦已筋疲力盡,亦標誌著行程的結束──972Please respect copyright.PENANAKv6CCuRGHM
972Please respect copyright.PENANA4C8bGZb1Ht
「恭喜從野豬班畢業。」972Please respect copyright.PENANAgIg5BPeCre
972Please respect copyright.PENANAFsSUKLO2dZ
冬日的陽光越過窗戶,將我們喚醒。昨晚的降雪已經結束,外頭的情況還不清楚,不過據聞融雪之時才是最冷的,因此我並不想打開門窗,但沒法子,始終早上出門比較保險,因為清理積雪的進度實在難以估計。972Please respect copyright.PENANA0fkF6nedJg
972Please respect copyright.PENANAgKnsEfxSnl
需要帶走的行李,早已在幾日前收拾好,簡單梳洗更衣後直接拉出門就是。只不過──972Please respect copyright.PENANAhK27mrJUVg
972Please respect copyright.PENANAZOrXnydLdo
「你忘了帶上這些喔。」正當她收拾好一切、準備開門之前,我一手提著結他箱、另一手提著那一直放在她床角的熊貓玩偶,那是我在已經空無一物的上層床發現的。972Please respect copyright.PENANArDIOfy7Z9q
972Please respect copyright.PENANANR6f6EVBq5
她回過身來,然後輕輕搖頭微笑指著我手中的熊貓玩偶:「這個我不帶走了。至於結他,就當作是你滿師的禮物吧!」此刻我才注意到她的行李除了行李箱,還有手上那個人頭大小的白色膠袋,感覺很擠迫的樣子,裡頭似乎是一件粉紅色的物體。看來,這就是她真正的意思。972Please respect copyright.PENANA6g5icG6QuO
972Please respect copyright.PENANABzLHWXT1hY
「分道揚鑣的時刻總算要來了,這段日子,我此生此世都必定記住,直至永遠。」她起初有點呆滯的盯著我,然後像是無法忍受的笑了。972Please respect copyright.PENANA2QmUUkpxvG
972Please respect copyright.PENANAjq6quGr6LU
「看見你這麼一本正經的表情,我還以為你要準備向我敬禮呢!這麼嚴肅會把我嚇死的。」她看起來就像已經放下了一切包袱的開懷大笑,看來我們一路行過來所經歷的恩恩怨怨,都已經成為過去了。雖然不捨,但總算是個不帶遺憾的結局。972Please respect copyright.PENANA0391HtiQHC
972Please respect copyright.PENANAVuQfBMCA1H
「我也會記住,曾經有一根很愛吐槽的『矮』瓜,他總是一副沒精打彩的死人口面,還會經常用豬來開玩笑。」枉我剛才還好言相向......972Please respect copyright.PENANAFlD9Q21EDf
972Please respect copyright.PENANAsBjy4kvJmZ
「那我也記住,曾經有一頭很可怕的肥豬,她總是餓鬼附體、嘴角流沫的豬頭,還會邊吃邊噴。」972Please respect copyright.PENANAVyBu6Irhxj
972Please respect copyright.PENANAvPWlBHk1Vz
當我說完這句話的一瞬,我的鼻孔就被鉗子夾住了,那是豬隻特有的鉗型手掌──「我怎麼有你說得那麼嘔心啊!?」972Please respect copyright.PENANAT0mDRn6lKw
972Please respect copyright.PENANArOx92wGKJf
「......還、還有暴力傾向......」然後連嘴都被夾緊了......「哼!」972Please respect copyright.PENANAzDa3DbYqxF
972Please respect copyright.PENANAYGoZqutpvL
「好了好了,不玩了。」她稍微收起了玩笑臉,看起來輪到她嚴肅了。972Please respect copyright.PENANA57iItJUlip
972Please respect copyright.PENANAXCJlt0mWHC
「這段日子,大概是我離開輔導班之後,最深刻的時光,我會好好記住的。」972Please respect copyright.PENANAGI6ZB3M8U0
972Please respect copyright.PENANAFpnDJEQFG6
「其實呢,其實我真的──」明明行李都要拉出門了,不過還總是有話想趁機說掉,要走不走的,臨別之際,想要告訴對方的話,就是──972Please respect copyright.PENANAmgbVlIMVbK
972Please respect copyright.PENANAteYUvwY6O2
「──非常謝謝你。」到最後,還是只能說出這種話。972Please respect copyright.PENANAsMkwYQcQ80
972Please respect copyright.PENANAjVJmDmBTlH
陽光逐漸增強,太陽似乎已經完全升起了,她望了望手機,「時間不早了,真的要分道揚鑣囉!你可記得要遵守承諾,回老家向你老爹道歉啊!別打算趁我不在了就食言。」這邊的租約結束之後,我就會暫時回到老家居住,然後再思考今後的道路;至於她,大概會依她老爸的身體狀況再決定之後的事情吧。不論如何,我們都已為前往新的目標作出準備。972Please respect copyright.PENANAensHfhqyRw
972Please respect copyright.PENANAn2AmSzZH0H
「哈哈,你少擔心,反正我連房租也繳不起了,現在的我除了老家還能去哪呢?」我笑了,居然是因為身陷如此窘局而笑出來,這是因自暴自棄作出的自嘲、抑或是要放下心頭石的那種暢快,一時間也無法辨清。不論如何,對我們而言,這是一個階段的結束。972Please respect copyright.PENANA9bn7omTlFC
972Please respect copyright.PENANAJVCmI0h5C1
「好了,就這樣吧。雖然我已經不是信徒,但還是記得一點點『金句』,」她拉著行李箱,轉身步向玄關打開門,一陣寒風撲面而至,「乞嚏!」972Please respect copyright.PENANAwivqpKf9jp
972Please respect copyright.PENANAwfPuyK0bQu
「哎,原本還想稍為耍帥的,總之你能記住就記住吧!」明明就是一頭豬,裝啥人類耍帥呢?當然我沒說出口,不想再被夾。972Please respect copyright.PENANAiaDicRYH1x
972Please respect copyright.PENANAZDePL1mRO9
她背對著我,因著厚衣服而顯得擁腫的身影,在門外陽光的照射下,由於背光的關係,顯得有點憂鬱,再加上從外湧入的陣陣寒風,氣氛感覺更加蒼涼。972Please respect copyright.PENANAPiOIMGLipo
972Please respect copyright.PENANAqR2pnADQPm
「就是忘記背後,努力面前,向著標竿直跑。 」972Please respect copyright.PENANAJqxK3hCA56
972Please respect copyright.PENANALSKhyNEfac
她的確一直沒有回頭,但當她踏了一隻腳出門之後,卻像是關了機的停下來。972Please respect copyright.PENANA9mjcsLi9as
972Please respect copyright.PENANAiyidmpnjej
「......為了證明你真的已學滿師,能夠獨當一面不辱豬門,我要聽你彈一首『讓我滿意』的歌才能安心下山。」972Please respect copyright.PENANAyGfa5ATQ4n
972Please respect copyright.PENANAk2sNZEzNkv
她寧可俟在門口頂著寒風,也要等待我給出的答案:一聲反悔、一個挽留,就可以將先前的都推倒重來,只要任何一方開口就可以。這是她刻意留下的最後一個機會,讓我們為這段關係給出明確的定義。啊......竟然到分別的時刻,我才意識到這一點,我果然是個廢物耶......這兩年的共同經歷,對我們而言,對方已經成為──972Please respect copyright.PENANAXcTvYj4oKD
972Please respect copyright.PENANAAdHe2iRZRM
時間過去不再復返,數年如雲霧散。(註12)972Please respect copyright.PENANANv6WPTeDM9
972Please respect copyright.PENANAGmhKS9fy77
作夢也沒想過高中畢業禮時睡著聽的土氣歌,如今被我翻出來親手彈親口唱了,這是,我「應該」給予的答案。972Please respect copyright.PENANA9oNojjAT7F
972Please respect copyright.PENANAvNB66Dhvfk
此際已屆離別時侯,珍重啊!好朋友!972Please respect copyright.PENANAzquKfEFrsm
972Please respect copyright.PENANApK1InuMpQ0
「哈、哈哈......」她笑了,那像是因無法抑壓而漏出嘴的竊笑聲。972Please respect copyright.PENANAMrlIqXylH1
972Please respect copyright.PENANANkDk9Tne9U
揮手道別願君自愛,錦繡前程似海。972Please respect copyright.PENANA8aTij1Wwem
972Please respect copyright.PENANAHnIbWF84OE
「謝謝你──......」她握著行李箱頂端的握把,步出那道分界線,然後往右轉身離開,那一瞬即逝的側臉,隱隱朝我反照出一絲白光。972Please respect copyright.PENANAchtvyDEYRG
972Please respect copyright.PENANA24iNL2QP3d
他日再見共慶成就,珍重啊!好朋友!972Please respect copyright.PENANAh5OpZ5DM6Z
972Please respect copyright.PENANAhsncRNJ7d3
二零四七年十二月二十五日,聖誕節,洪浩泰與朱淑梅以合租之名開始,維持接近兩年的關係,正式劃上句號。972Please respect copyright.PENANAlGfX2CUvN3
972Please respect copyright.PENANAUvEBqJmqcJ
~ORIGINS...... End~
註:
[12] 《友誼萬歲》(Auld Lang Syne):著名西方民歌,原詞由Robert Burns所作,後被加上曲調,後來傳至世界各地,均被換上當地語文的歌詞;但不論何種語言,歌曲整體均表達出對與摯友別離的不捨與懷念。
ns216.73.216.93da2