76Please respect copyright.PENANANDJgY4mSO0
76Please respect copyright.PENANATugLd0Dh5A
抱持怎樣的決心、說出怎樣的話語,對許晰文而言都是自己一個人的事情。76Please respect copyright.PENANAmkJnjaZ5ZK
76Please respect copyright.PENANALRifU5t00M
性別、血緣、身分……許晰文幾乎是從出生前,就注定不能喜歡許衍黎,如果可以,他真的不想坦承自己是誰。76Please respect copyright.PENANADZ1AfihR8Z
76Please respect copyright.PENANAJJeg6r3y7O
許晰文從來沒有因為姓許,就得到任何好處或特權,也許跟著亡母的姓還能讓他至少心情上比較好過。這個世界確實沒有道理與公平,明明養大他的是卓氏、最親近他的人是卓氏、對他最好的也是卓氏,他卻只能跟把娘親趕出家門的男人同姓。76Please respect copyright.PENANAFHGJeAXTKm
76Please respect copyright.PENANASRnuqQdqkQ
他看著娘親,經常會感到罪咎。76Please respect copyright.PENANAWkcKVptUNf
76Please respect copyright.PENANA2RyogdVZRz
他根本沒有讓娘親對他那麼好的理由。76Please respect copyright.PENANAqFWLkYhLI5
76Please respect copyright.PENANAw7fG1CuWau
許晰文甚至有時候會想,倘若不是懷上自己,娘親是否就不會被扔出許家?76Please respect copyright.PENANA7xUoXC2j9G
76Please respect copyright.PENANAxYDFjOSF9G
許家未必是什麼好歸宿,可起碼有屋瓦遮風避雨、死後能入祠堂受供奉。76Please respect copyright.PENANAfU9LDokgqo
76Please respect copyright.PENANAn0JYtnAQTI
可活在這世上,唯一一件慶幸的是,藉著這份薄弱的親緣,他因此認識了許衍黎。76Please respect copyright.PENANAYNbXEaKPPt
76Please respect copyright.PENANAF7bh5gDJlq
許衍黎的個性使然,倘若不是親人,根本不可能了解他更多事。76Please respect copyright.PENANAhsJM8fDz8k
76Please respect copyright.PENANAAuq2II166K
可能,自己還是太貪心了,除了遇到他,還想認識他,甚至想要有愛他的資格。76Please respect copyright.PENANA4ix4M0roHy
76Please respect copyright.PENANAORcFBCoSdz
亡母在世時,不怎麼提及許家的事情,只有許衍黎不同,亡母在說到許衍黎的時候,會有溫柔而無奈的笑容,會抱著他說:「是許二公子搭救,你才能出世的。以後要努力報答他啊。」76Please respect copyright.PENANAhBUGGer90u
76Please respect copyright.PENANAaSz9EuLphk
他不曉得怎麼、何時,他就是喜歡上了許衍黎。76Please respect copyright.PENANAwEhNzCgHHW
76Please respect copyright.PENANAgKeL4Lq1YA
想待在他身邊、不想看他娶妻生子、希望只有自己對他是特別的──即是因為期盼太過深切,許晰文才會不敢輕易見他,卻也忍不住、即便說謊也要留住他。76Please respect copyright.PENANADBhP02baOJ
76Please respect copyright.PENANAhptBn7AKsO
許晰文忍不住衝動、告白而出的心意,在許衍黎眼中會有多狼狽、會有什麼後果,其實他想不到除了被厭棄以外的答案。76Please respect copyright.PENANAoEtzjSFfOn
76Please respect copyright.PENANAyLzwSjJHD0
要是有資格享受著許衍黎的溫柔,是因為謊言,那真實的許晰文該如何是好呢?76Please respect copyright.PENANAwUxUcn0zZ2
76Please respect copyright.PENANArmYknVSfwr
無法和許衍黎坦誠相對的自己,是無法帶給許衍黎任何好處的。76Please respect copyright.PENANAKzChr6lqkO
76Please respect copyright.PENANA53Svx3n8nv
更何況還要看他為自己張羅終身大事,許晰文做不到。76Please respect copyright.PENANAYqCIBIeG3b
76Please respect copyright.PENANAhRq6w6wKXe
在許衍黎第無數次將眨眼的頻率拖慢時,許晰文不禁伸手,用還未卸下蔻丹的指尖觸碰許衍黎睡熱了的臉龐,他最後一次將許衍黎的面容牢記於心,閉上眼的同時也將距離拉開,盈盈一拜:「讓叔父煩擾了,此後,晰文不會再叨擾,願叔父年年歲歲安康喜樂。」語畢即旋身,沉甸甸的雨勢壓著他身上繁複的女裝,洗去精緻紅妝底下的,分明是一張堪比擲果盈車的少年臉孔。76Please respect copyright.PENANAoAmFnJ8FWM
76Please respect copyright.PENANAcsFh1XbsPe
義髻和髮釵逐漸被雨水扯鬆了,許晰文一邊艱難地抬起沉重的膝蓋,一邊取下那些髮飾,讓傾落的雨水打亂他的髮絲,散下來的髮絲披在肩頭,楚楚可憐的模樣,無論是哪個看不清雨幕中容顏的男子,都會因為憐惜而不住遞上傘柄才是。76Please respect copyright.PENANAJMeMVN0mfx
76Please respect copyright.PENANAcFx3SKmBZx
然而天時地利人和,全都不在適切的位置。76Please respect copyright.PENANAK3Wun1A1RJ
76Please respect copyright.PENANApc1D6AvSnm
降雨的荒山,連樵夫都不見得會出現,提什麼其他可能帶傘的閒散人士,那更是荒謬。76Please respect copyright.PENANAmKJn3KME0T
76Please respect copyright.PENANAx8bBrBd6UW
貪婪妄求像是他一生的註腳,即便現在他的年紀恐怕還要再活上三倍以上的時光,才會自然而死,只是如今找不到理由活下去的自己,真的還能這樣強行撐下去嗎?76Please respect copyright.PENANA8qbJWbqk2W
76Please respect copyright.PENANAJz6mmQjW5O
娘親離世後,將近一年的時間裡,除了將積累的債務還清,許晰文想不起自己可還曾做過些什麼,他在這世界上本就只餘下許衍黎是唯一的羈絆,許衍黎也不要他的話,世間也已沒有他想要的了。76Please respect copyright.PENANAlp6i76NpTB
76Please respect copyright.PENANAoLEdhGcdJt
泥濘濺上腿腳,許晰文已無力管顧,任由一步比一步沉重深陷,踩上外露的濕滑石頭混著青苔,小腿無法撐住失重的身軀時,他瞬間一陣輕鬆。76Please respect copyright.PENANAz4tfsrIrhJ
76Please respect copyright.PENANAIFX9jsHpxO
──總算可以結束了。76Please respect copyright.PENANATVNtdAPlAS
76Please respect copyright.PENANAqohlPKUXuK
許晰文閉上雙眼,準備好迎接疼痛以及疼痛以降的傷害,腦海裡閃過的是泛著如絨毛般光暈的春日風景,那是他在過往年歲都無暇欣賞的美麗,如今也已可放下。76Please respect copyright.PENANAiMD80ziA2p
76Please respect copyright.PENANASksY20bBDz
即便確實撞上了什麼,說是疼痛卻是太過。76Please respect copyright.PENANAZsifyJ8eQ2
76Please respect copyright.PENANADA8oU416gz
許晰文茫然地張開雙眼,在冰涼失溫的肌膚表面,應該已不會輕易產生觸覺的麻木中,將他按得更緊的力道,擠壓著他,呼吸間除了雨水濃重的氣味外,也混著少許令人安心的什麼。76Please respect copyright.PENANAVftO5oZfYr
76Please respect copyright.PENANAidHjEeM9UA
他再次閉上眼,如潮湧上的黑暗十分溫柔,似乎能為他阻擋一切噩夢般。76Please respect copyright.PENANA9t0g0W17EH
76Please respect copyright.PENANA59sWO3knpS
76Please respect copyright.PENANAH5HBQZU7v4
76Please respect copyright.PENANA3RNyZMgLCo
76Please respect copyright.PENANAuFJVGbCTlx
76Please respect copyright.PENANAq8nFGYhScf
76Please respect copyright.PENANAy89YGwG3Qu
76Please respect copyright.PENANAbOX1wxEbdq
朦朧中的溫暖,是第一重襲上來的。76Please respect copyright.PENANAq1E1UBBqmu
76Please respect copyright.PENANA7DDLG36gUm
第二重是昏暗的光。76Please respect copyright.PENANApD699wbM6i
76Please respect copyright.PENANAE9SnUwCvm3
許晰文揉著眼,讓疼痛的眼睛能漸漸接納門縫漏進來的光。76Please respect copyright.PENANA9Ck3D8AoEO
76Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3oXzHbOLj
光……?76Please respect copyright.PENANAtxhez2eFGl
76Please respect copyright.PENANAt0qIpYBVTZ
許晰文愣了下,趕忙下床往外跑,推開門後,被燭光攏住的,並不是熟悉的擺設。76Please respect copyright.PENANA3C1oCxTXwo
76Please respect copyright.PENANAwEAiwOUXNg
他焦急張望,幾枝蠟燭能照亮的範圍並不廣,其中並不包括其他人,許晰文朝著並未閉攏的大門跑,撞上正巧推門進來的人。76Please respect copyright.PENANAO2oeImscyB
76Please respect copyright.PENANAbsNwaQfgmw
畢竟不怎麼有鍛鍊體能的機會,文弱的身軀被這樣一撞,向後踉蹌了幾步,方能伸手按住許晰文的雙肩,制止還要往外奔的人。76Please respect copyright.PENANArYtlXngK7k
76Please respect copyright.PENANAn0F1ErXUmB
幾次掙扎不開,許晰文才焦慮地望向對方的臉,隨後在思緒短暫空白後,忽然失去了支撐全身的力氣,就要往下跪,在即將觸地前,被及時架停。76Please respect copyright.PENANATNWG0LPtXy
76Please respect copyright.PENANA0Foe2BVP48
許衍黎勉強撐起許晰文,步履蹣跚地將他扶進去屋裡休息。76Please respect copyright.PENANAgVzOojnhYJ
76Please respect copyright.PENANAaCRLjPnV8q
沒有妝容遮掩的面容在燭光下憔悴。許衍黎擦掉對方額上的汗水,過了許久,許晰文才開口說:「叔父,你的責任心與憐憫,姪兒受之有愧,還請叔父放棄。」76Please respect copyright.PENANAgM0Ymf0jbg
76Please respect copyright.PENANAJKBteFoSmh
許衍黎過了一下子,在燭火燒出輕微的裂響後,啟唇相詢:「你剛才想去哪裡?」76Please respect copyright.PENANA4Nz2EOX1PB
76Please respect copyright.PENANANOnQh2pL1E
許衍黎失魂落魄的神情並沒有鬆動,許衍黎分辨不出來他是否有聽見,他在心底嘆息,指頭拂過許晰文被汗水黏在臉上的髮梢,許晰文緩緩抬頭,許晰文瞳中是許衍黎的身影,以及躍動的火光,眼神卻是癡傻的。76Please respect copyright.PENANAEeF8ys4Gzt
76Please respect copyright.PENANAhOra3TmHwX
許衍黎抿唇,到底還是把許晰文摟進懷裡。76Please respect copyright.PENANAXoX9dRBhKL
76Please respect copyright.PENANAjX41qS5KYX
即便是自己都能背起的身軀過於瘦弱,也難怪假扮女子多年,竟沒被尋芳客揭穿過。許衍黎想著,並輕輕拍拂著許晰文的背部。76Please respect copyright.PENANAL7zQozupTd
76Please respect copyright.PENANAid81yqDHUp
許晰文囁嚅多時,殘破的語音連接成句:「我想找我娘。」76Please respect copyright.PENANAsWgRMrkvix
76Please respect copyright.PENANA1Q3OCcWyNl
「晰文,你……要搬過來跟我一起住嗎?」76Please respect copyright.PENANALus2ekGlzS
76Please respect copyright.PENANAxuq9Hk8eLQ
許晰文閉上雙眼,在幾個呼吸的時間過去後說:「叔父,你不理解,晰文的喜歡,並非單純留在叔父身邊就可知足,我想要叔父只看著我,想要叔父只和我說話,想要只有我能碰叔父的身體,我……我想要的比你以為得要多。」76Please respect copyright.PENANALwCl2r5g2s
76Please respect copyright.PENANAJJ1QzdIj9y
「你想和我成婚。」76Please respect copyright.PENANA2F0tcMMVOs
76Please respect copyright.PENANAaNor1G9BBL
「不是,不是形式上,或者不只是。」許晰文慢慢睜眼,喟嘆一般補充:「對外說我和叔父什麼關係,我不在意,但我想完全佔有叔父,做的事情,不會比恩客對妓女做的要少。遠遠不只一句逾越叔姪身分可以概括。」76Please respect copyright.PENANAWJX2cVncrG
76Please respect copyright.PENANAXkovwP82O0
「晰文,你現在還住在妓院中嗎?」76Please respect copyright.PENANAkpbLqaz3m8
76Please respect copyright.PENANAV4IqudFixU
「叔父,請你放棄,好嗎?」76Please respect copyright.PENANALJnvq4ytv3
76Please respect copyright.PENANAyNImHZKOpR
「剩下的債,我替你還,你留下吧。」76Please respect copyright.PENANAkqP99KQuu4
76Please respect copyright.PENANA3ff30vq4pl
許晰文在許衍黎鬆手瞬間,將許衍黎扯下來,吻住他輕微乾裂的嘴唇,還沒完全分離的唇間,是逐漸消失的柔軟觸感。76Please respect copyright.PENANA4sHUN0exTt
76Please respect copyright.PENANAsUL7VHIAmY
自肌骨與臟器而發的疼痛,席捲他的意識,在暈眩中,敏感的唇瓣被壓住,許晰文本以為自己已經昏迷,頂弄自己唇縫的,卻不似湯匙,遑論苦澀的藥味。76Please respect copyright.PENANAVEW8YvnhZw
76Please respect copyright.PENANAL1JnWtbkWQ
相信自己只可能因為被餵藥而有這種觸覺的情況下,柔嫩的雙唇一啟,能放大一切知覺的敏感口腔卻被遲疑地又撞又抹,許晰文能辨認出許衍黎過近的臉孔時,許衍黎紅著臉,有些喘的樣子,讓許晰文不住眨了很多下眼,確認這不是自己過於渴望而產生的逼真幻覺。76Please respect copyright.PENANA4c6b1jtpZq
76Please respect copyright.PENANAaDFXVZIUiJ
76Please respect copyright.PENANAtKalX7oNKC