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No Plagiarism!ROfuAhq8HWWsyLP2Yemeposted on PENANA 「…..抱歉我講得太直接了」8964 copyright protection78PENANAZQQohGYu3i 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAEaRfiQBQVs
8964 copyright protection78PENANAmFFcC83ZWO 維尼
「沒…沒關係,畢竟月鴻同學這是已經比較好了」8964 copyright protection78PENANAr9H8sGiSEb 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAT9E1jRJQBD
8964 copyright protection78PENANAaD1UHXqQU3 維尼
的確比之前網路上的留言來講,我已經是小case了,畢竟也沒有真的用不好的言語。8964 copyright protection78PENANAQjNWkvSUmM 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAzbsM6FSvKc
8964 copyright protection78PENANAF3JaIt61mx 維尼
雲晴同學也立即了恢復了狀況,打起了精神。8964 copyright protection78PENANA0HZael775J 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAxCJrm0zA9I
8964 copyright protection78PENANAGY0P7ug8IQ 維尼
「可...可以問一下是哪裡不行嗎?」8964 copyright protection78PENANACPJPjczSNt 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAeEcmnavTgA
8964 copyright protection78PENANAB3o7QqqkdU 維尼
她委婉的向我詢問出問題的點,其實不用這樣也行畢竟都答應要幫助她了,怎麼可能說完不行就走。8964 copyright protection78PENANAQKeU6hyRnP 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAvdudHTmw2z
8964 copyright protection78PENANA9ILzI6Xzgs 維尼
「首先不講劇情好了,劇情的話只有一點問題這我們可以之後討論,但重點是用詞方面的問題」8964 copyright protection78PENANAthjvwprR4B 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA5o2MlBQ6Zu
8964 copyright protection78PENANA2VZEy1eNAP 維尼
「用詞....」8964 copyright protection78PENANA0gjSrNoM8p 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA40zXELHute
8964 copyright protection78PENANAgXqTFTi1VB 維尼
「首先是贅字太多了」8964 copyright protection78PENANA2FeogCcQB7 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAGDlu6iOcjy
8964 copyright protection78PENANAtzjDD2Yh06 維尼
「贅字是什麼意思?」8964 copyright protection78PENANAqVfTcGwqaJ 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA29FSbAQ4yJ
8964 copyright protection78PENANAjg9hKcYQK4 維尼
「就是一些多餘的字喔,現在有很多新手作家常常把一些重複的字不斷的加進文章裡面,讓人讀起來很不順暢」8964 copyright protection78PENANA1aFt7jpYUy 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA791NUsCLMW
8964 copyright protection78PENANA8rGuOvqmm2 維尼
「原來如此……」8964 copyright protection78PENANA96mJR2Rzcz 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA2YR8gvKaXf
8964 copyright protection78PENANAlMIDwFt1wx 維尼
「最常見的就是那個、這些、並且、而且、還有、然而等等...不是說不能用但要學會如何去做運用」8964 copyright protection78PENANA6NpfidcLpU 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAK5khOKmnTY
8964 copyright protection78PENANAYMnelpDKva 維尼
這是很多作家初期常常犯的錯誤,我當時也是一樣。8964 copyright protection78PENANA5BNlnSSpKJ 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANApFJZeFUb1D
8964 copyright protection78PENANAzCDUehs2sW 維尼
但通常都會由朋友或是網路的讀者看過後提出來,但可惜的是,沒什麼人關注雲晴同學的作品。8964 copyright protection78PENANAxkNPUTBqB3 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAhmZ4wrC0Lx
8964 copyright protection78PENANAfCU1B535Ar 維尼
而她也沒有勇氣向其他人說出自己在寫小說這個事情…..8964 copyright protection78PENANAFcZX6PMSzc 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAeKXWfQjfIE
8964 copyright protection78PENANAzk5S7do696 維尼
在雲晴同學聽了我的話後,將手放在了下巴上面思考著什麼表情十分的認真。8964 copyright protection78PENANA7n8mE1MXxz 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANALKQJVo8Ro8
8964 copyright protection78PENANATZ9UhlbHnm 維尼
「阿!就像是如果要在一大堆人面前講話的時候,會因為太過緊張導致一直出現同一個詞,之前在台上發表感言的學生就是這樣,讓人感覺他一定很緊張」8964 copyright protection78PENANAZxFBXDa0x7 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAYYiQAYknRz
8964 copyright protection78PENANAU4sRkz5f5p 維尼
突然她就像是想到甚麼一樣將自己的想法說出來,同時也順便嘴了一下之前的學生代表致詞。8964 copyright protection78PENANAzYEHjT6RqV 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAtYGQ4MTsmY
8964 copyright protection78PENANAwVnF17aAd2 維尼
「差不多..就只是變成在文章上面的贅字而已」8964 copyright protection78PENANAzVXVUNYcgw 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAzAvE5elhLH
8964 copyright protection78PENANAplYCVjnSgX 維尼
贅字通常是在打字時無意間用到的,時常會以為加了這些字後句子會比較順暢,但其實這都是要看狀況。8964 copyright protection78PENANAlPTAMgkDpW 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAtVJ5hSl92r
8964 copyright protection78PENANAdpcteHW5fX 維尼
不然通常時候去掉那些字也不會突然改變句子的意思。8964 copyright protection78PENANAidZZs7eyPT 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAAUuVy8Xphf
8964 copyright protection78PENANAso8lXeSH78 維尼
「那我看一下!」8964 copyright protection78PENANAihogZMMMuf 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAw1MRv9BOqd
8964 copyright protection78PENANA6R4dr0gZ2V 維尼
「等….」8964 copyright protection78PENANAprAJkPS7I2 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANALfHCESIx2f
8964 copyright protection78PENANAfrKUlc1N7s 維尼
在我提出問題後,雲晴同學快速的從對面跑了過來,坐在了我旁邊..我們的手臂貼在了一起8964 copyright protection78PENANA6YVBtCOihU 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAm5Yr9UVMBw
8964 copyright protection78PENANAi4kzxAsI8U 維尼
好..好近....而且好柔軟….這實在是有點不妙..心臟跳個不停…..8964 copyright protection78PENANATKmylqX85X 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANASkWqwpzkeR
8964 copyright protection78PENANAGF3eKncs8n 維尼
雲晴同學身上的味道不斷的朝我的鼻子大量過來。8964 copyright protection78PENANAxgqYm2X7xg 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAqPxBrdNmWy
8964 copyright protection78PENANAGOu0rZOnZK 維尼
讓我不禁下意識的往旁邊移了一下...8964 copyright protection78PENANA4mHKyhRqjT 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAWuP6v6WkRW
8964 copyright protection78PENANAzhVCPFhP5y 維尼
「阿謝謝!」8964 copyright protection78PENANAIWTSLce0Lw 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAq47qetBpy6
8964 copyright protection78PENANAZ8kYopNTgi 維尼
不不不為什麼妳也跟著移過來了呢!8964 copyright protection78PENANAaFxG3Uq8FJ 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAsl7G6g51mz
8964 copyright protection78PENANA0nHZmuCNcP 維尼
雲晴同學貌似以為我是怕她無法看清電腦螢幕才坐過去,反而又往我這裏靠了過來..手臂反而貼得更緊..8964 copyright protection78PENANAWxc6YPxags 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANABZZObT0p3L
8964 copyright protection78PENANAUTmQLdMrb2 維尼
這女孩也太無意識了吧..8964 copyright protection78PENANAApLlJ2WmFN 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA0tT5UnaPvK
8964 copyright protection78PENANAjTzFeCGsJh 維尼
話說為甚麼女孩子的身體只要一碰到就會有香味出來啊!難道是天然的香水嗎!8964 copyright protection78PENANAh1siFFofXM 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA4KucQQxBCk
8964 copyright protection78PENANAtxJkOnk5Ml 維尼
「阿!真的欸…這裡一整個句子出現了好多並且跟然而….」8964 copyright protection78PENANAzrKqYSo49m 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAm8XmGYngOA
8964 copyright protection78PENANAUUXiVlKIlp 維尼
「咳...沒錯像這樣雖然有些人會覺得可能是因為新人寫的所以才會勉強接受,但如果一直都沒改掉的話就會讓人感到不耐煩」8964 copyright protection78PENANAdRmejHsgv6 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAzvkALIm9Sm
8964 copyright protection78PENANAQnPEZOtAdY 維尼
我假裝咳嗽一下,讓心情給恢復過來並繼續解釋,幸好雲晴同學沒發現我的異狀。8964 copyright protection78PENANABqkTl8TIKN 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAtovvNHAtpR
8964 copyright protection78PENANA4BBaj1VGMc 維尼
「原...原來如此」8964 copyright protection78PENANAuGvhJIUBvw 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAnLYq8OST0A
8964 copyright protection78PENANAo7pFua7Q62 維尼
「是的..其實有時候適當的去掉這些字或是改成其他詞會更容易讓人讀下去」8964 copyright protection78PENANAjuwC8YJPXb 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAvXaypp5cyU
8964 copyright protection78PENANAu91y20Ah6L 維尼
「我..我知道了..來試看看吧」8964 copyright protection78PENANAPKCIkdbuxv 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAHMDygW7DBT
8964 copyright protection78PENANAhkYhOrTBMF 維尼
「阿等等還有一個地方」8964 copyright protection78PENANAejOLK8B7lq 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAmLOcBcpXbZ
8964 copyright protection78PENANAHnbeHZBIXH 維尼
「嗯?」8964 copyright protection78PENANA74xsfNor9P 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANADlRNVE1oki
8964 copyright protection78PENANA2r4GvKVVub 維尼
「就是標點符號喔」8964 copyright protection78PENANAB1rVYtMdJE 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAjtXTP0ZlqB
8964 copyright protection78PENANAziVq3oMPgf 維尼
「標點符號?可是我都有標阿…」8964 copyright protection78PENANA7PdPbL0nRn 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAgHkxt1eRRQ
8964 copyright protection78PENANAoFNSpxBImR 維尼
「是有標沒錯,但標點符號就等於一個中繼點,讓人暫停休息的感覺,同時也代表了那句話的表達方式」8964 copyright protection78PENANAFzFegOOQFu 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAAfALMKF9wH
8964 copyright protection78PENANAw4VlXWUBaX 維尼
「表達方式….」8964 copyright protection78PENANA83wc1kcXof 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAr7CRg5t65O
8964 copyright protection78PENANAQeMb868WN4 維尼
「沒錯..雲晴同學與其說是表達方式不如說是標太少了,讓人無法休息反應過來,尤其是雲晴同學又是寫熱血戰鬥的小說」8964 copyright protection78PENANAgBDBaogRpt 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAsqpKXcNCay
8964 copyright protection78PENANAXqkV9FfPSn 維尼
「讓人無法適應嗎?」8964 copyright protection78PENANAeXVyQmJYNG 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANANX1WV32xRV
8964 copyright protection78PENANApmB3OoqsOb 維尼
「對喔,通常戰鬥小說在形容戰鬥的時候會用大量的句子去解釋當時情況,但如果妳四行字只用2個表點符號去描寫的話,就有可能讓人忘記前面在幹嘛」8964 copyright protection78PENANAW17bkjWQQT 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANASGNVfoctoK
8964 copyright protection78PENANAGa4uaWgR66 維尼
「原..原來如此」8964 copyright protection78PENANAeHvcsyfidq 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAmxWoQN3xZj
8964 copyright protection78PENANAC2HxlQNb23 維尼
「斷句就是讓大家暫時理解前面的話題,吸收之後再繼續閱讀,不然的話直接Enter換一行寫也可以,但有時候會熱血起來就會一直寫就是了,所以標點符號很重要」8964 copyright protection78PENANAJK4WzUxJPY 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAeakLn8r4yL
8964 copyright protection78PENANAomledFdbnI 維尼
「我知道了!那現在就來試改看看吧!」8964 copyright protection78PENANAyCgK62Sutb 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAhVIaSFRX25
8964 copyright protection78PENANAFS9n71HQFL 維尼
雲晴同學在聽完我的話後,重新打起了字聽從我的意見適當講一下詞語給刪除或是進行更換。8964 copyright protection78PENANAh4VIxqDIqK 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANADcQBiezQGo
8964 copyright protection78PENANAP0s6QSQ64s 維尼
順便將標點符號給進行整理。8964 copyright protection78PENANAEq2R4HSYIs 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAckwUIxE6wO
8964 copyright protection78PENANApb1PlLCrot 維尼
雲晴同學認真的注視著電腦螢幕,那專注的樣子,讓我的視線忍不住的飄向了她的側臉..8964 copyright protection78PENANA6Dsu2ajE2e 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAkeoivQCOh0
8964 copyright protection78PENANAdgH1Jy5Bfz 維尼
果然好美......8964 copyright protection78PENANALhTJab9J2A 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAk5U04ZyxbF
8964 copyright protection78PENANAI5AgNY9rE4 維尼
我再次為雲晴同學的長相感到驚嘆,不管看幾次都能讓人如此的入迷。8964 copyright protection78PENANA6yIsbMujml 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA9DmnVvw8F9
8964 copyright protection78PENANAmEeNzTGCNp 維尼
就像之前想的,雖然不會帶進戀愛感情在裡面,就只是單純的像看到美麗的風景停下來欣賞一般。8964 copyright protection78PENANAh6MmrL1WcM 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAy3V0zWZSzw
8964 copyright protection78PENANA2tlULuFdxS 維尼
細長的睫毛,光滑的皮膚,苗條均勻的身材要說是上天用盡全力所打造的藝術品也不為過。8964 copyright protection78PENANApf2x5rWkww 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAKYjTU1sSNz
8964 copyright protection78PENANAUOG1MaFyhY 維尼
讓人感到訝異可愛的地方就是她喜歡衣服上的涅噗醬這個興趣,剛剛查了一下涅噗醬好像是某部動畫的吉祥物之類的。8964 copyright protection78PENANAdDs8nH0bLk 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAd6a0njwmXm
8964 copyright protection78PENANAnQUCYT4AdU 維尼
回到話題,如果學校是社會縮影的話,雲晴同學一定是處在頂端的人。8964 copyright protection78PENANAuhJdaJFQhr 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAiZPjwImibm
8964 copyright protection78PENANAA0HEHIyVgi 維尼
不管是在社交方面還是面容都是頂級的水準。8964 copyright protection78PENANATxRCYLhFFO 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAFdqWlvE4Af
8964 copyright protection78PENANATsheEUaswt 維尼
而這樣的她竟然就坐在我的旁邊.....8964 copyright protection78PENANAicOsvla4PD 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAERqyfjdMrT
8964 copyright protection78PENANAVz6sGejPSg 維尼
有著輕小說家...這個夢想並持續在努力著..就算受到了打擊也依然持續著的創作….8964 copyright protection78PENANAw1yPmgZsvZ 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAx6ax6fPJho
8964 copyright protection78PENANAhJDN6Xqtc8 維尼
對曾經逃跑的我來說....極為嘲諷…...這存在的本身就像是在嘲笑我一樣……但對我來說又像是動力…8964 copyright protection78PENANAq8mmBe17Dh 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANACcg81ByyMV
8964 copyright protection78PENANAqYUTUM4eOt 維尼
從那一天起我沉寂已久的某種開關又再次開啟,只是缺乏一個操舵手讓它啟動………8964 copyright protection78PENANAZnYRozGevR 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAs6eYo02xnA
8964 copyright protection78PENANAun3FJeJl85 維尼
「月鴻同學怎麼了嗎?有那裡出問題嗎?」8964 copyright protection78PENANAdjueYbKHQY 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAFVwAVt4NHL
8964 copyright protection78PENANAzbUaDnHghU 維尼
雲晴同學貌似偷偷的注意到我的視線在她身上,以為是小說那裡有問題。8964 copyright protection78PENANANGkjS2fzcR 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAoJsHgGSv5L
8964 copyright protection78PENANAjI52MHiQLE 維尼
「不....只是覺得..雲晴同學果然很漂亮啊….」8964 copyright protection78PENANA4RCleYMiRs 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAFmdRmCgG8L
8964 copyright protection78PENANACKCY1N7H3T 維尼
毫無意識..我將心裡想的話給講出來,那保持熱忱又不斷的在向夢想前進的樣子....真的讓我覺得非常的耀眼..8964 copyright protection78PENANAdMJYWCMJ1C 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA1X73EQcANq
8964 copyright protection78PENANAzcw3cADSTe 維尼
「什......你你你你在突然說什麼阿!」8964 copyright protection78PENANA5KokUqVCbR 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA3IoNMxeojj
8964 copyright protection78PENANAkjnE13Y0sj 維尼
「不.....沒事抱歉..」8964 copyright protection78PENANAacN2CIPFFe 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANALTeLn6It4h
8964 copyright protection78PENANAMDEnFfXX6m 維尼
雲晴同學在聽了我的話後,臉就像是番茄紅了起來,想必被我這樣當面講她感到十分害羞吧..8964 copyright protection78PENANAqiU1YMDn0i 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAPBUbJARlAv
8964 copyright protection78PENANAIKPv472NXk 維尼
要是平常的我一定也會焦急的跟她道歉......8964 copyright protection78PENANAT3B32c6FYy 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAp954QATk8l
8964 copyright protection78PENANAsvbI5CjPaK 維尼
不過我只是搖了搖頭,簡單的跟害羞的她說聲抱歉而已。8964 copyright protection78PENANAv5nMu53lCY 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANA1JkdxZlE77
8964 copyright protection78PENANA9RdR7VneUX 維尼
無法說出口…..8964 copyright protection78PENANAsid3WlcWWt 維尼
82Please respect copyright.PENANAeEz2pFtmxa
8964 copyright protection78PENANAN0U40rHQJV 維尼
現在我心裡都是滿滿的對於我自己羞愧...8964 copyright protection78PENANAEo52jYcH9t 維尼
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