“Your what”
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I can see Ryders eyes go from unfazed to bewildered as he paces back and forth across the short space we have in this section of the balcony
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“I said I’m pregnant”
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I can see him slowly break this down as his pace quickens
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“How far are you”
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“Seven weeks”
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He stops next to me and lifts my head up with his hand. We stare at each other then he moves his hand away
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“Why didn’t you call me and tell me this”
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“Because I don’t have your number”
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“I gave you the number though”
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“You gave it to Merriam and Merriam lost it”
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Ryders jaw tenses up as he looks back at Natasha then me
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“If the media finds out then it’s scandal of the century Sam. Do you understand me”
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“Yeah I do”
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I rub my arm and lean on the balcony
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“I don’t know what to do Ryder”
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He stops and glances at me. I look around to not look back at him
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“I wanted to talk to you about this so I can make a clear decision. I might have an abortion”
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He rubs his jaw and nods
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“Let’s just see alright”
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“See what”
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I feel my own anger pipe up
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“I have a job Ryder. I can’t wait for you to make your decision because I can’t do that. Whether I have an abortion or not I still have to work. Waiting for you might make my window of opportunity if I do happen to want a abortion too late. So let’s make one right now”
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“No I am tipsy and I refuse to make a life altering decision under such conditions. Tomorrow we will talk about this and I mean it”
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He walks towards Natasha and I cry as the pressure of pregnancy presses down on me. I won’t be able to do this alone, I can’t provide for a baby if he decides to want it then leave after I give birth. I wipe my tears and walk to the table
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“Ahh maid”
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Natasha smacks my stomach and Ryder roughly yanks her hand away
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“Don’t do that Natasha”
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“I didn’t even hit hard”
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“I don’t care you just don’t do that”
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He picks her up and they leave the balcony. Merriam stands up and she tries to hold onto me
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“Carry me”
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“I can’t and you know why”
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Merriam sluggishly nods and we both make our way downstairs. With no paparazzi in site I lay Merriam in the backseat and sit in the front seat with my designated driver
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“My place”
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Once we arrive to my apartment I drag Merriam up and lay her on the couch. I cross my arms and watch her sleep soundly
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“Chubs no”
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I see chubs ready to jump on her but I catch him beforehand and lay him down with me
On the other couch
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“Chubs I’m so sorry”
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I cry into his fur and soon lull myself to sleep
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“RISE N SHINE”
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Merriam’s chants wake me up
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“Merriam please”
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She bounces chubs in her arms and swirls across the living room
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“Oh please stop being a bitter pregnant woman”
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I roll my eyes and get up
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“You changed me?”
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I notice the difference in Attire
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“Yea cause girl who sleeps in dresses”
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I give her a hug
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“Thanks”
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She hugs me back
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“So don’t pregnant women get like you know an ultrasound”
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Chubs zooms around the living room
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“Yeah but I don’t know what week”
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Merriam searches it up
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“7 weeks babe. It’s time you got yours”
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Maybe I should to see if this fetus is okay but then again if I’m planning on getting a abortion would getting an ultrasound even matter
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“I don’t know Merriam. I might get an abortion so getting this ultrasound will only make my decision harder”
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Merriam pics up a cup of hot brew and sips
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“Maybe but it sounds like your confused so get an ultrasound to see if you might want a baby”
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She’s right. Maybe one won’t hurt and besides if this makes my answer any clearer then I will take that chance
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“Fine”
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I change into some sweats and a shirt and place on a jacket.
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“Ima steal one of your jackets”
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She steals my other jacket and together with chubs in his own jacket walk to the clinic. Once we get in I fill in my information and sit down in the waiting room
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“Chubbs are you excited to be a brother”
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“Merriam stop saying that”
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“Sorry”
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She rocks chubs in her arms and I take a deep breath in and out to soothe my anxiety. It will be alright it’s just a quick ultrasound and soon it will be over. Your choice will be clearer
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“Alright who’s the soon to be mom”
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I raise my hand shyly and we all walk to the room. I take off my jacket and lay on the chair
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“Well congrats to you soon to be mommy”
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“Thanks”
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I say this lowly and look around. I see a tv prompted up above us and a ultrasound machine
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“Please lift your shirt and sorry but this gel will be cold”
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I see him squeeze a bottle and cool substance lays across my stomach. I feel a object press against my stomach and move around
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“In the tv you will be able to see the heartbeat and baby”
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I look to the side and I eyes widen up as I hear the heartbeat. Merriam smiles, This is what’s inside me huh. After the ultrasound he sends the audio to my phone and the pictures. I wave bye and we both walk out
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“Well how you feel”
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With a dazed look I glue my eyes foward
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“I don’t know but I know this will be a hard decision.”
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Merriam’s phone rings and she answers
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“Okay”
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She hangs up
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“Boss man said we are wanted at work”
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We take train to Central Park west and verify our ids at the building entrance then take the elevator up. We knock on the door and it opens
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“HEYY”
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Natasha smiles and then her eyes focus on the chubs In Merriam’s hands
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“What a cutie”
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She tries to touch but chubs barks
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“Chubs”
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I take him from Merriam’s arms and sway him to sleep
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“He’s a bit grouchy he needs some rest”
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Natasha nods and we enter inside
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“We have a few guest coming so we need this place tidied up and tables decked out”
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Ryder looks at us and then at chubs
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“And the dog needs to stay in the bedroom”
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I nod yes and place chubs in the bedroom
Where I spot food and toys. After I take off my clothes and change into my maid outfit in the bathroom, I walk to the cleaning closet and take out the new bucket Ryder has bought us and scented floor detergent
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“Oh Sam I am”
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Merriam slings her arm around me and sings
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“How wonderful thy eyes glance at me when I shake all my booty fat”
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Merriam Twirls across the floor with her mop in hand
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“Merriam you can be a world class singer if you tried”
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I smirk and take the mop from her hand
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“But for now we have to mop first”
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I pour the floor detergent in the bucket then one by one I mop each corner of the floor. The sweet rose and lavender smell settles into the air as I mop. After a while I set the mop aside and look at the glossyfloor from afar
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“Looking good”
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Merriam cleans the large glass table and then sets a gold and red carved cloth over it. Next she cleans down the chairs then sets the decorations on the table which includes a whole marble vase filled with white and roses and 5 rose carved candles.
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“AWESOME”
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Natasha smiles and sniffs the cloth
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“Smells like it was worth the money”
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Merriam scoffs
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“You mean his money”
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Natasha rolls her eyes
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“No difference”
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I hear my phone ring in the closet and when I go to answer it I smile
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“James”
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“Sam”
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His soothing voice eases my pregnancy nerves as each word he says kisses my ear
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“So are you ready for today”
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I blush
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“Yeah I am”
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“Me too”
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“Ahem”
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I look over my shoulder to see Ryder staring at me and I gulp
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“James call later”
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I hang up the phone and I place it back in the closet then close it
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“Sorry sir”
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I fast walk past Ryder and he calls out my name
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“Sam we need to have a talk”
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We walk to the bedroom and I sit on the bed
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“Due to the circumstances we are in I can’t have you resign”
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“Huh”
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Shock riddles my face
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“Must I remind you what status your currently holding other than maid”
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He looks at my stomach and I turn away
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“But every time I look at you it makes me feel so wrong all over again. It reminds me of that night that should’ve never happened”
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I place my head in my hands as I ramble on
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“It reminds me of the predicament I placed myself in”
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Silence takes over as I refuse to look up at him. Before I would have questioned why he didn’t speak to me but now I’m starting to want to revert back to the years where we didn’t speak. The days before he asked me to make a smoothie and complimented it, The days before he asked me to get his tux done, The days before he gave me that book.
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“Is that how you feel”
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I look up at him and see him around the cabinet picking up a cigar. He ties his hair back into a ponytail then looks for a lighter
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“Yes”
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I look down and hear the flickering of a lighter and smell the nicotine from his cigar
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“Then I can’t say anything other than it was mutual”
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He walks to the window and smokes
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“Huh”
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With his dead eyes he looks at me then back at the window
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“Believe it or not Ms stone we had mutual sex so even though you may have regretted it you are making it sound like I have taken advantage of you”
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“No that’s not what I meant”
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“Then what do you mean Ms stone”
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With his back turned to me I look at the wall ahead
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“What I mean is that I made a mistake in getting drunk and having sex with you. It’s my fault and it’s led me here with someone who I never would’ve wanted”
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Ryders back remains turned me and in a blink of an eye he puts out his cigar on the window
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“Clean this”
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In a swift motion he exits out the bedroom and I look behind me. Did he really have to put out his cigarette on the window. What an ass. To think that I found any sort of reasoning as to why he gets as many females he does, now baffles me. I walk to the bathroom and bend down and open the kitchen cabinet. I reach in and get a rag and drench it in water. I wipe the window down and let my eyes roam around the city view as the bright blue sky and sun shines down on me. I look down to see the bustling street and many people walking. I wonder how my life would be like if I woke up to this everyday, would it make me feel accomplished. Would it make me feel rejuvenated or would it make me feel isolated, like the world cannot reach me. After I wipe the window I dry it then walk out the bedroom
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“Ugh Merriam your soup might be good but I’m tired of eating soups like damn”
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Natasha flings her legs on top of the coffee table and turns on the tv
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“Personal sources has mentioned that the relationship between Natasha souvier and Sebastian Ryder have been ongoing and personally Dan I am so excited to see such a lovely couple”
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“Me too Sharon”
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I see Natasha smirk
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“That’s about right eh”
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She sits up and places her coffee mug on the kitchen counter
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“Well I mustn’t bother you maids so please continue”
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I see her walk outside the penthouse and I look
Up at the tv. Seems the news caught wind that something between them was brewing but do they know of the engagement
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“Pfft that women can be so nice in such a dense way”
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Merriam transfers the boiled meat into a gold ceramic pot and opens the spices cabinet. She adds a few spices then a jar of specific sauce
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“She’s our employer now so don’t let her hear that”
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I rearrange the couches and clean the windows to enhance the view. After what seems like forever I smile as the sunset reflects beautifully off the window and shines light into this spacious room.
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“You guys may be dismissed”
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Natasha walks in hand and hand with Ryder smiling. We nod okay and I walk to my closet and place on my coat then scarf
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“I can’t wait to sleep”
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Merriam hands me my other coat she borrowed
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“Don’t you need this”
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She shakes her head no and places the one in her hands on.
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“I always make sure I leave a stash coat here in case a girl goes broke. Also lemme get chubs”
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I grin slightly and I lock the closet up.
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“Alright”
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The sound of something dropping catches my attention and I look down to see the book Ryder gifted me. I bend down and pick it up
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“Omg babe my hair”
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Natasha’s voice books from behind the bedroom walls
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“Ah maybe it’s best I give it back”
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I place the book on the kitchen counter and without a second look back, I leave.
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“So who’s the date”
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Merriam snacks on some chips as we walk to the train station. The sharp winds cut my cheek as the sunset from before quickly delve into pitch black night
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“His name is James”
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Merriam’s eyebrow raises
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“Ohhh the boy you was crying about”
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“Pffft thanks for reminding me of that”
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After we swipe our cards we wait in the empty station for the train
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“Listen are you going to tell him your pregnant”
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“…”
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I never really thought about that. Or maybe I tried to avoid thinking about that because I know it will hurt me to say. I don’t want James to thinking I’m a whore and that I’m worthless now that I’m pregnant and if I decided to abort the child I don’t want him to think that I am a killer or anything.
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“I don’t know if I will keep the fetus Merriam. I can tell him I’m pregnant and then a few days later I abort the thing. Now there would be no use in telling him as I don’t plan on staying pregnant”
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“But if you do decide to keep it”
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I grip my hand
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“Then I will have to tell him. Ether way I would have to tell him”
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The train blast on through and we enter. I wave Merriam goodbye as I get off my stop and once I walk to my door a big letter in red greets me
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EVICTION NOTICE
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I tear the letter from the door and suck my teeth as I enter inside. I guess this is it now huh
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“Bark”
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I smile at chubs and feed him then turn on the tv. I got to get ready for the date.
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“Chubs which of these three only outfits look nice”
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I look at the wrinkled dress that I have and grunt as the wear and tears become ever more apparent.
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“Not this one”
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I look through my closet and every dress I spit ether has a boring color or too professional
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“Oh”
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The last dress I spot makes me stop
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“This dress”
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The knitted dress Ryder gifted me shines bright as I look around for any wear and tears
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“Nope”
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I take out the dress and once I exit out the shower I place it on
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“I mean it fits”
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I do my makeup and hair then kiss chubs goodbye. I never thought I would wear his dress to a date but I really don’t have much of a choice, it’s ether wear it or wear something like pants and a shirt which won’t go well. I grip my coat tight as I make my way to the train and then to the small restaurant.
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“Sam”
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I can see the twinkle in his smile and eyes as we exchange one long overdue hug.
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“James you look changed”
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James helps me to our table and i coyly smile
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“How so”
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James sits in front of me and ticks his napkin in his shirt
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“You look happier”
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My expression drops
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“Hey Sam”
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I feel his hand hold mine as he looks at me
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“Just because I’m somewhere new doesn’t mean you were just a temporary friend to me. I can never place you in that category for I have known you for over 2 years”
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He tucks the rouge hair strand behind my ear and the waitress comes
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“May I take your order”
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James orders and I do too
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“Also please may I have a bottle of wine”
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Shit
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“Sure sir”
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The waitress walks away and James focuses back on me
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“It’s been a while since we drank together so let’s toast”
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He pours himself a glass then does so with mine. I grab the wine glass and look at the reddish liquid swirling around
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“To us”
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We clank glasses and I place the wine down. James takes a sip
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“Are you not thirsty for wine”
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I nod yes
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“Stomach bug you know”
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“I understand”
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Once the food comes I take a bite of the noodles and my gosh I felt a wave of nausea hit me
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“So Sam how has work been”
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I force myself swallow
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“It’s been the same it was before you left really. I have a new I guess permanent work buddy called Merriam. She’s a joy”
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God I feel my throat about to gawk this food out
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“That’s good it’s always nice to work with orders especially dealing with Ryder”
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I can’t help this gagging feeling anymore
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“Please one moment”
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I rush to the bathroom and puke in the stall. After what seems like eternity I wipe my tears and mouth then walk back
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“I was about to bust into that bathroom and see if you were in danger”
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I sit back down and eat another bite of noodles
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“Gaaugh”
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I gag and push them away. I can’t do this I can’t eat this
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“Is the noodles raw”
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James checks my noodle bowl
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“No it’s a stomach bug”
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After some time we stand up
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“Let me pay”
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James places the bill on the tab
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“Oh I wasn’t offering to pay but I guess you should pay”
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We laugh and walk out into the chilly night. With his arm around me I feel somewhat better
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“ I remember when we first met and Ryders behavior was so bad that we had to have a drink night”
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I smirk and roll my eyes
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“And then we slept all morning and came to work looking like deranged beast”
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I yawn and lay my head on his shoulder as we walk
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“Are you tired already”
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I laugh softly
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“Maybe but being with you makes me feel so comfortable it’s crazy”
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I look up to see James staring at me
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“You make me feel that way too. I’m happy I got you to myself for this moment”
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We stop in front of a ice cream parlor
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“Ice cream”
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Like a zombie I walk into the parlor
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“I’ll pay”
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James and I discuss flavors and when all is done we continue our journey around the city with freezing hands and a mouth full of cold ice cream
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“My boss is super old. Glad to be working for him but his fiancé isn’t making anything better”
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We sit on a bench near a light
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“I hope his fiancé is okay he sounds like a sweetheart”
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“Oh trust me he knows how to play the game. Makes me sad for the old man but hey it’s not like I have any power to put in a opinion”
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We swap ice cream flavors
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“Your taking a bigger bite then I had”
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“Hey you offered”
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I roll my eyes and James laugh
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“Alright here’s a bite”
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Tenderly he places the spoonful of ice cream in my mouth and I hum delightfully
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“Thanks”
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Once we finish we walk down the steps at us and past a river
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“I really enjoyed being here with you “
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I feel myself blush
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“Me too”
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Time seems to fly by as we stop in front of the station
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“I have some friends I must meet but I wanted to thank you again”
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James leans in
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“May I”
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I nod yes and slowly but surely his lips press against mine. His lips feel like soft pillows as I cup his neck with my hand gently
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“What a glorious evening”
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James moves back and waves bye as I descend down the stairs. That kiss was different then the one I drunkenly shared with Ryder, it felt like cloud nine while I was still on the ground. When I get home I ignore the eviction notice and lay down on the rickety couch as I reply the exact moment James kissed me. For once I feel this surge of happiness. Abortion or not I feel like ether way James would be there for me. I may be wrong and it sucks not telling him until I get a final decision but I just want to nestle in this feeling until I can’t feel it anymore. But that leaves me with one question
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What will I do
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