***Taylor's POV***
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University flies by, I spend the whole day with Ross, without Jay. We get on so well, it's easy and natural between us.
When it comes to the end of the day I hug and kiss Matty in the car park. He holds onto me just a touch longer than normal not wanting to let me go. We never not go home together and he's handling this so well.
I whisper in his ear that I love him and I'll see him later.
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Ross has promised Matty that he will drive safely and not speed which made me laugh.
I get in his car, I've never been in his car before. He has a nice car not that that matters. It's red and has all of the newest features you could possibly want.
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I sit in the passenger seat with the heated seats on. He smiles over at me once we're on the road.
"Have you been to Jays before" he asks.
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"Nope never" I say slightly anxious.
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"Oh right he lives in an apartment. It's quite fancy" he says rolling his eyes.
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"I thought as much, he really gets on my nerves" I laugh.
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"I hadn't noticed" he laughs.
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We go quiet for a bit. Our extended silences are never awkward for me. I enjoy his company because he's okay not talking and he doesn't feel like filling up any silences with chatter.
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He glances over at me smiling. I laugh at him.
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"What?" I say to him.
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"First time I've been truly alone with you in forever" he says laughing.
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"Oh yeah that's true" I say.
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"You ugh saved my life by the way" he says after a minute.
"I'm sure that gives you every right to demand anything from me" he laughs.
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"I had to go back for you, after what we had just been talking about I got worried." I say.
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"Yeah I know, I'm sorry I caused you all of that panic" he says.
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"Have you thought more about what we were talking about?" I ask him being direct.
Maybe I can clear up things with him, and it would be good to see where he's at.
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"Yes I haven't stopped thinking about you if that's what you're asking" he says smiling at me.
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Not the best sign. I was thinking he would say he's over it all and that's he's had a bit of time to reflect on everything.
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"I spoke with Matty after the party. I cleared up what happened just before the accident. I love you, that's not going to change. I know you love him, I accept that you're with him. But I love you too, whether you have feelings for me or not. I'm here for everything and anything." He says looking out of the windshield.
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My emotions are all over the shop and I start to cry.
I glance over at him in his leather jacket, his blonde hair out loose.
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"Hey I'm sorry, I don't want to make you cry!" He says stroking my thigh.
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"No it's just Ross I don't deserve you, I don't deserve this. Your loyalty. And your love" I say.
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"Well you saved my life so I'm pretty sure you do. And you have it anyways" he laughs.
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I smile at him through my tears.
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"Don't worry about it babe. I'm here in any way you need me" he says looking back through the windscreen.
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We turn into a gated car park which is fancy. Ross wasn't lying. He parks up. The apartment building has lots of floors and it has pretty side lights. I shiver in my leather jacket and Ross pulls his arms around me smiling. We get buzzed in by Jane. Oh thank God just who I wanted to see.
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We head to the elevator and Ross pushes the button for flat 32. It's a fancy one that opens out into his apartment then. I huddle next to him in the elevator and he bravely holds my hand again.
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When the elevator opens up I take in the large open plan living room which has a view over the city. The place is decorated with leather sofas and chairs that are light cream in colour. He's got a huge flatscreen on one wall and some art on the other walls which I glance at analysing what they could mean to him. There's one print which has a couple walking in the rain under an umbrella which catches my eye. I look at the colours and smile. I love it instantly.
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"It's a print I bought a long time ago" he says behind me. I clear my throat realising that I'm just standing there in the middle of the room. Ross has sat down on the sofa and Jane is on the single leather chair flicking through the channels on the flat screen. She's turned on 'say yes to the dress' and I cringe internally. I look away and back at the art.
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"Where did you buy it?" I ask interested.
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"An auction" he says to me genuinely.
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"It's beautiful, I like the darkness and how it contrasts with the light" I say smiling.
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"It's my favourite too" he says smiling at me.
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" Jay" Jane interrupts
"Where's the wine" she asks.
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"You drank it all babe" he says walking toward her.
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"I did not." She laughs.
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"I'll order some with the takeout" he laughs.
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"Tay do you wanna share some wine" she asks.
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"Actually I'm all good but you enjoy" I tell her.
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"Do you watch this?" She asks as I sit down next to Ross who moves his arm up so it's around my shoulder.
I notice Jay even has a few house plants. And I almost laugh out loud but I stop myself.
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Jay turns a fancy lamp on behind us to better see his notes. That's when I notice the bookcase.
"No I tell her" standing up and heading to the bookshelf. Jay watches my body moving as I walk around him on the sofa.
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I look over the book collection smiling. I like books and I always check out somebodies books. It helps me to know them better. I'm surprised he's got all of the classics and lots of crime fiction.
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"You can borrow if you like" he says standing next to me again.
"Hey let's go get some drinks" he says heading into the kitchen touching my hand briefly, nobody notices.
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I follow him into a large kitchen, it's all different shades of grey. I think of cooking in it and smile.
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"You want a proper drink or juice?" He says watching me.
"I have a juicer" he says.
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"Oh can I make a smoothie?" I laugh.
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"Of course" he smiles.
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"You want some too ?" I say to him.
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"I was counting on it" he laughs.
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I grab some fruit and start chopping. And then I place it all in the juicer and put it on. He gets out some glasses. Then he looks at his phone and asks me what takeout I want.
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"Chinese" I say and he smiles.
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He orders and places his phone on the side. He faces me leaning on the kitchen island.
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I lean against the counter top.
"Jay it's a crime having a state of the art kitchen and not being able to cook" I tell him.
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"Yeah I'm rubbish at it. I need somebody who can cook" he laughs.
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"To cook for you all day long and make you dinner" I smile at him.
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"No, so that I can learn from them, miss judgey" he scowls.
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"Jane can't cook?" I whisper.
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He closes the gap between us and whispers back.
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"No, they all just want to take advantage of my generosity" he says.
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"They don't want to give you anything back" I say and I should shut up. It's easy to play with him, he responds so well and let's face it he's very, very good looking.
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"Nothing babe" he says looking into my eyes. His face only inches from mine.
"I am the used one in all of my relationships" he says.
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I laugh.
"I very much expect you get something from the girls you date" I say quietly. The juicer is on still.
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"Nothing like what you could give me" he says daringly and he winks at me.
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"Shame I'm taken then isn't it" I chuckle biting my lip.
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"So am I babe" he says.
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I look down and avoid his eyes. He's wearing a simple t shirt and I can see his nipple ring through it.
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"Taylor, no fucking lie if you ever want..." he begins.
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I take my finger and place it on his lips to shh him.
He's so cheeky, he kisses my finger smiling.
I should not have touched him, it breaks an invisible barrier. He swiftly puts one hand on my hip and then moves my finger away from his face with his other. I clear my throat.
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"Don't worry I won't do anything" he says releasing me.
The juicer goes off and he pours out two glasses of juice. He gets Ross a non alcoholic beer.
He begins walking towards the door and I pull myself together.
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"Okay babe?" he asks as I drag myself out of my trance. Being pregnant has made me majorly horny. I imagine him bending me over the kitchen counter. Undoing my skirt and taking me from behind.
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"What were you thinking about just now" he turns fully around and puts the glasses down on the side.
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"I'm not about to tell you" I say smiling.
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"Wait there don't move" he says spontaneously.
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He walks out giving Ross his beer and telling Jane the wines coming. I face the counter willing myself to leave the room and not follow his orders.
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Just as I'm about to walk out he returns brushing his hair back.
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"So tell me what was playing on your mind just now whilst you were zoning out biting your gorgeous lips" he says.
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"Jay..." I begin.
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He turns the juicer on again with nothing in it.
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"There, nobody can hear us" he smirks.
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Lord he is insistent.
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"You're a bad girl aren't you Taylor" he says whispering to me again.
"What is it you want me to do to you ?" He asks.
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"I think this is about what you want to do to me Jay" I whisper.
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"Me? I'd happily tell you. I have already over and over again. I've told you what I want with you. You however have not" he laughs.
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"I was thinking something truly bad and I'm not telling you because the last time I told you about my fantasies you made out with me" I say.
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"Okay, I promise I won't touch you or kiss you! Just tell me" he says.
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I scowl.
"I was thinking about this kitchen counter" I say to him. I have him transfixed. His eyes are boring into mine.
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"Just the kitchen counter?" He whispers.
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"I was thinking about bending over the kitchen counter" I say quietly.
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He smiles looking away briefly. He exhales. I'm sure I've managed to shock him.
"Fuck me, please. Even if it's just like a one off although please don't get me wrong, I want it to be a long term thing. We don't have to tell anybody if you prefer. But please fuck me. I will Worship your body Taylor. I'm literally begging you just to consider it before you go off and end up marrying Matty or Ross" he laughs. Then he waits for me to respond.
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I raise my hand and lightly stroke his hair back. He closes his eyes. He breathes out a sigh of relief. I move my hand down his cheek, over his lips. He lightly kisses my fingers. I continue down his chest and over his nipple ring. Down his abs lingering above his hips.
He opens his eyes. Smiles.
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"You're tense Jay" I say and I move my hands around his hips to massage his lower back.
"If you're having a lot of sex with somebody you shouldn't be this tense and worked up" I tell him.
I rub his back with my hands. He places one hand on the back of my neck possessively. He pulls my neck back as if he's going to kiss me but he doesn't.
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"That is definitely a yes" he says. I continue stroking his back and he's so close to kissing me. He releases my neck.
I take a step away from him because of the chemistry and I'm worried about what I'm going to do to him. I tell myself over and over to get out. I count to ten slowly in my head.
"You do that too huh?" He laughs.
"Count in your head, I do that shit when I'm trying to control myself" he says.
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"I'm in control" I say. And I scowl at him, how does he know? Can he read my mind? Or?
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He snorts. Turns away from me and begins walking into the other room. I follow him.
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