87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7L7PUKmEHl
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYrGcLZMiL
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKgcZFGcj6
0187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNWYP0heJU
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANQjtK8EOH
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDW8PmE32q
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYokayB3En
赤羽業一如往常的沖泡咖啡加奶精加糖，他慣於在這時候放空腦袋休息，即便是在這時候，他依然如此。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVgokFCx1j
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIAmxZs46V
攪拌咖啡時他看見自己的倒影迴轉在波紋中，意外的竟可以清晰反射出他面部的表情，是一個相當平靜的情緒，他本以為自己會是一副靜靜發著怒火的神情，然而，事實並非如此。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeztupJCoag
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFZ49hHnoe
和表情同樣，他的內心此刻也靜謐的像火種熄滅似的，只有一縷青煙騰空散去。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUQs8MY3oM
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspk4neGVf1
他不禁想，自己比起中學時候確實是成熟了些——尤其在看到娛樂版頭條醒目的標語之後，還能做些和普通日常無異的行為，而不是在那裡懊惱與憤恨——自己單戀了十幾年的人和當紅女明星傳出緋聞，作為證據，報導還放上兩人前往某溫泉旅館時的同遊照片。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAvXtkls8y
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZSGiRxOR4
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkYbJaLzVz
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaMZ73d8u3
赤羽業啜飲著咖啡醒腦，明天他有一場重要的議會質詢，為了這場質詢，他能掌握的資料都已經準備妥當，務必成功達陣。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2UO3VyJaj
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxV1USI8r9y
在迅速打著資料重點時，赤羽業想起以前看過的動畫，裡面一句台詞就是在說明成熟與不成熟的差異，成熟的人接受事實不再反抗，不成熟的人則繼續頑強抵抗。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDgI9f228Q
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphjeczofUM
若然是以前的自己，肯定是會選擇反抗吧，然而自己並沒有選擇那樣幼稚的作法，大概就是成熟。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEOOvjokKA
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNc5qfqHDlK
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ThlwSWI0X
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8BLJmy79R
身後傳來同事們閱讀報紙之後的各種驚呼，他聞所未聞，繼續著自己的工作。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBHb5raNKC
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYZB20uQHk
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Atb3zqh1y
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwE3P4X4us
0287Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrntfzI6J6
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfrJY8tpUy
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoWp8aEqCP
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExwv94eupW
過了二十五歲之後，除了工作，赤羽業經常回想的就是一些有關於潮田渚的相處片段。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBLPGnjqgA
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrcTN3d45T
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFNmc5k2e4
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdqNBxXYkU
最初只是一個留著長髮、綁著馬尾、笑起來有些虛幻的少年，放眼望去很容易在眾人中淹沒的稀薄存在感，卻因那時的偶然，令他目光全然留在他身上。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvYSMuZh1f
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFf5YmyzBL
赤羽業從來沒有對潮田渚說過，他對他最初的印象來自於某個放學後的黃昏教室，當時他出了校門憶起遺漏了作業本，便趕緊回教室欲拿取，剛好教室大門尚未關上，他正要踏入之時卻被眼前景緻停住腳步——逢魔時刻的色彩渲染整間教室，在他目光所及之處的人，綁著馬尾，藍色髮絲裡滲透著金黃色，背對著他。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcU7WfeZXMW
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5dFW09AER
彷彿愛麗絲的兔子洞，誘惑著好奇的孩子一探究竟。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxvRRJyyrd
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2wXPF45cc
日後，他經常回想的就是那樣的場景，靜謐的時刻裡，看著遠方夕陽沈落的少年。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ8VY00DDK
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5staj4mgp
假如那時候，更靠近些，或許便能得知少年那時在思考的事情了吧。 87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbdVNun9v8
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyozx1Ncsk
赤羽業不只一次地這麼揣想。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hqXoo1x0S
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgRbYxvGkW
更靠近些，也就更能了解少年了，或者，讓少年想靠近自己，這份從那時便持續的單戀或許就能劃下結果——無論是否如願，至少不用懷抱揣想，一驚一顫地。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwNV96J2IM
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡER8S2ihXN1
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88GzKLTpZi
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbtOphTN6Q
0387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡte59ZYJM2z
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IJQyIoIP1
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yDsvFmd7t
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Qhq1mq6SC
結束了一整天的工作，赤羽業走出辦公室時已滿天星斗。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKMlwZ2NuC
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdB7bSHtBl
冷咧的風吹來，寒的讓人哆嗦，迎風而行的他卻忽然笑了，抑不可止的笑了，剝落了從早上就武裝的情緒笑了。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ACKDVnfcG
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwQqwyD73j
隨著緊繃情緒忽然的潰堤，他感覺到溫熱的液體從自己的臉龐滑落。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrR8mOgBic
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYtC0DTYaa
他想自己的確是很難受，不然一向不輕易落淚的他怎會突然無法阻止地不斷掉淚，弔詭是自己臉上還是一副笑容，而他知道自己是真心地露出笑容的。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9HfrMfmOl
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6y5kSz9IbY
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwVs8bkakp
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9G0ZN5WSM
原來，再怎麼了解自己，終究還是會有無法理解的地方——就像小說角色因各種情緒的混雜那樣，他又笑又哭。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAif3dOLgxF
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKo2buXvB5
而他以為自己不會。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCrFKPmOsx
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzs1it0eAVE
他本來以為自己不會的。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNy06Gsc6K
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfLZ5juAcN
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbhQDpBdHM
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFohTMZQRPZ
不過就是喜歡的人似乎有了喜歡的對象，而那個對象偏偏不是自己罷了，沒什麼大不了的。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBvggktqU3
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxYHbIDsv8
沒什麼大不了的，不是嗎？87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmN4i9JGWv
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5romvU3I6
不是嗎？87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemfzHBoTOx
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkylUswnwJ
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlraX8DeBjx
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmKlxPRx1d
0487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyrgVa5N7K
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHxTYmBK2f
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGU0PadfYg
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6NqE6Ronp
赤羽業中學之後常常會夢到潮田渚。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrCEASalpg
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMSEiOFHiU
綁著馬尾的他，升上中學三年級之後的他，留著短髮的他。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgUR20cSNC
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IdlfZhJMg
無論哪一個他，只要看到他，潮田渚都會露出笑容往他而來，並說著美妙的話語，是只能在夢裡聽見的情話。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYy1XeCFGoM
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgM7xmbmOX
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsL9z9jZZD
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RBSN7drU8
所以，在住家周圍見到早上才在報紙裡看到的人出現的時候，赤羽業恍惚還以為自己疲累到走著睡著了——尤其，對方還一臉笑容的往自己走過來時，簡直重現了夢境場景。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIMNDY7cgY
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FldGy8avS
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNdIHeKRU3
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgItqCBTQ7
「業，你今天好晚回來啊。」87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV6kL8nLFw
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnq3cySVdr
雖然擺著一張笑容，然而赤羽業敏銳感覺到那笑顏下潛藏著的疲憊。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFi5t7Zy7sU
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQY8SX5m12m
啊啊，是這麼回事嗎？87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahnhywesA0
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SS92QyqcZ
難得的，赤羽業對自己洞悉人性這一點感到厭惡。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwr7FdXlDZ
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa6mkjSLEK
「明天有重要的質詢，所以剛剛還在處理。」他頓了頓，並沒想戳破什麼地裝傻「渚，這麼晚了，你怎麼會來呢？」87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWH8jDPwml
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKrXv4mj89
「……原來，業沒有看到報紙嗎？」不知道是放心還是懊惱，潮田渚呼了口氣「今天我下班回家時，發現家裡附近躲著好幾個記者，大概是想來打聽些事情吧」言至此，赤羽業難得見到潮田渚露出苦笑「而我的父母貌似也被騷擾了，便傳簡訊讓我今天別回家去別處躲著，等過個幾天就會沒事了。」87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nNbT39kfs
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyfVqU26Um
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4JoTjD8ew
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BUDz682dp
潮田渚的言詞閃爍，大概是有些顧慮吧。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoa6GdUIg42
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIbJdnhTEQ
他並沒有興致去讓自己受傷，因此潮田渚言詞隱蔽的那些內容，儘管他猜得出來，他也不想直接聽到當事人直接說出。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhclIXSfZ1L
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHGuJGKbXf
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqkwXhKLRM
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L9ilmPu0e
「所以，你想在我這裡待個幾天，是這樣的意思嗎？」他直接點出結論。確實自己之前經常拖著潮田渚灌酒，家裡是有一些渚的換洗衣物跟被子。要是他是渚也會選擇一樣的事情，一來不用花錢住在酒店裡，二來也比較方便。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2Wlndhsqz
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4qrTFESH5
「對，畢竟，我沒有其他可以拜託的人了。」87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B0uhl86nW
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5qHOi1K1w
赤羽業聽了之後直覺渚在說謊，然而卻找不出任何感覺奇怪的地方。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvnGdW6sm2
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYjtvh66dL
要論交情，自己的確是可以勝任的，然而說找不到人可以拜託？E班的感情在共經患難之後，是非常堅實的，除了自己之外，渚還有很多人可以拜託，想必他們也會十分樂意的（當然，肯定包含看戲的成份）。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjNRhF39FH
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhPOLlTRWi
只是，渚的為難似乎也是真的，他似乎是真的找不到其他可以拜託的人——是以，才會沒有任何告知，就跑來他家外面等他，而他甚至不知道他會幾點回來地在寒風中等著。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2m2SxAT3DC
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDv01LCkHg
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMQZLKj1eF
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TWBsrBHuO
「我知道了，你就在我這裡躲個幾天吧。」87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMSORyWz2O
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNTZk3JHGg
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDLwU3rDrF
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrnmwh18im
赤羽業有時會想，假如記憶可以回放，那麼潮田渚在他應允之後的那個畫面，他肯定會重溫數次——潮田渚喜出望外地抱住他，透過衣服傳來的溫熱，他曉得渚十分高興，雖然他還感覺到更深層次的欣喜，而那個欣喜在之後才能明白。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNDQ3Agy2m
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMX0F2g8GI
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERMqFMYUYh
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0YppvZLmd
當時的他僅僅是以為渚對於他讓他躲在他家裡這件事情感謝而已，直到後來發現誤會一場，他聽見和夢裡一樣的話語時，他才明白那時感覺到的謊言與欣喜的意義。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgS4khcCEA
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJyE7gp2GY
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGh86znlqR
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFosB086VX
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRbcP8Y8AE
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMaUbxtxtP
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoo2cd8615
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZ6DZJ6c8E
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHGeFpZNJq
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5msdCWOSQW
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yNDpIJlKh
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1v75J0F6w
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJ0Vh1kiPh
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIdIL1938u
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eLeF2TGPQ
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8NVf7lji2
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Q3TvzYkG1
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWjvndWFnX
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLuwDA8A0v
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFWHX3ZLe3
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXryxYyOxkv
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVf5PsiyfLb
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlo4Kn4mpx
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz3JnZJ589
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYTzKHWiMs
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6wv2gF6aE
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJHbkd2p8H
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***87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K90FgvcDv
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ju92YkGyJ
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoChU7yLjdB
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJSoaETJmI
「二十五歲時，赤羽業看見了自己單戀的人出現在報紙的版面上，那是一個和女明星緋聞的版面。從十三歲和少年相遇的時候，他這一份單戀就開始了。直到年老，他從來也沒說出口。沒有人知道的戀情不存在，所以他只是陪在潮田渚的身邊，他陪了多久，這份單戀就多久。六十五歲時，赤羽業還是陪在喜歡的人身邊。直到老死前，他都沒有說出口。」87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVDAZdkfn9
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCy1suvOXKh
以上是我寫文的最初動機與結構。以業的角度出發的單戀，只是，業對於這份戀情並沒有想放手一搏，以致於他和渚的關係始終在非常奇妙的情況。原設定中的渚也並沒有結婚，從業的角度無法知道渚的內心，所以並不能明白渚不結婚的原因。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI14OaS4Doe
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMO7aiadoh
不過寫文寫著就會出現慣性，所以最後還是回到不太遺憾的層面。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2vrzZmXlk
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9QmUXIPBg
以前跟徘徊討論過，對於業渚，業必須處於主動才能得到好結果，假如兩個都沒有意識到，儘管遺憾但也不太虐，然而一方清醒一方迴避，那就有趣了。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FcKat6BWW
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlERjhEdTJ
這文章大概有涉及到這一層面的討論。87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVX8eGWC9CP
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABuKFi32WN
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