[1] "This Damn Company's Boss... Is the Goddess's Electronic Pet?!"
Crouched in the ventilation shaft above the CEO's office, Hoshino and I stared down at the "boss" charging below—
His suit split open, revealing a pink rabbit-shaped mechanical core stamped with:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIo4CFNcA1
[Model: Goddess's Beloved Pet #996151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWjdgHyyv4
Functions: Faith Extraction / Employee Brainwashing / Automatic Frisbee Fetching]
"Three hundred years ago..." Hoshino's voice trembled, "that woman said she wanted 'a healing pet'... and this is what she made?!"
My familiar wriggled through the duct, its phone screen lighting up with the unlocked "Goddess Cloud Drive":151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8w4LapRcUT
"Your Majesty! Found the blackmail files! Just ¥500 to—"151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNulPamMI7s
"BUY IT!!" we shouted in unison.
[2] Blackmail File 001: The Goddess Can't Actually Code
The first decompressed file:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRYjR1ZZyY
[Heaven System Source Code (Annotated)]
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8L5gR15GTo
def exploit_humans(): 151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCawob2sz3o
if employee.emotion == "despair": 151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZipHo14DC5
print("Work hard! Heaven awaits next year!") # LIES. No such feature. 151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD86TTHhgyS
else: 151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyi1HHqfHv
activate("holy_gaslighting_module") # NOTE: Outsourced to Hell.
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpkNk4Cqpr
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40hhms4C9r
151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSvIK2ZZtJ
"Hold up!" I yanked my familiar's tail. "Since when did demons take these kinds of jobs?!"151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9na9PShw6
Hoshino deadpanned: "Remember? You said, 'Let’s earn side income from Goddess contracts'..."
[3] Blackmail File 007: Holy Swords Are Just Plungers
A leaked video played—151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiiL1XtsfO
Younger Goddess haggled at a heavenly hardware store:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEvSA5tuhb
"Just plate this toilet plunger in gold, add LED lights... Yeah, make it look like a 'Holy Sword'!"151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9XbAArdUs
Clerk: "You still owe us for turning the Roomba into 'angel halos'..."
Hoshino’s sword flickered like faulty Christmas lights.151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCPgvOnrXf
"No wonder..." she monotone’d, "it keeps showing 'Low Battery' when I stab you."
[4] Company-Wide Riot! When the Wage Slaves Learn the Truth
The moment we mass-emailed the blackmail files, chaos erupted—
Accounting Dept. folded overtime forms into paper airplanes bombarding the CEO's office.
IT Dept. hacked the "faith conversion" backend, setting everyone’s "ascension progress" to 100%.
Janitor Auntie charged the coffee machine with a mop: "My daughter’s overwork data was in THIS?!"
"Now!" Hoshino flung off her HR badge. "Go dismantle that 'pet rabbit' and reclaim your Demon Core—"
Alarms blared:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SvrUUjPSR
[WARNING: Mass Awakening Detected. Initiating FINAL PROTOCOL: Full System Reset.]
Ceiling panels shattered, unleashing chains that lashed toward employees. The rabbit CEO’s eyes glowed blood-red:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwy3a7kIV8
"Naughty workers... become batteries~❤"
[5] Demon King & Hero’s Ultimate Fusion Move (Literal)
"Five seconds!" Hoshino tossed me her holy sword. "Channel your dark energy into it—"151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wKv0Wd5xl
The hilt scorched my palm: "This thing isn’t dark-magic-compatible?!"151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Rw4y0TxIW
"Shut up!" She gripped my sword-hand. "Our ceasefire pact said '50% holy, 50% dark'—"
The blade erupted in gold-and-black lightning. My familiar livestreamed:151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLe8zTTfccV
"Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting the legendary combo move officially named—"
『S O C I A L D E A T H S L A S H』!!!
ns216.73.216.94da2
