這個讓我感到可恨又坐我旁邊的男生,他是我後來的好朋友之一,綽號叫阿哲,家裡住野柳,你沒有看錯,他家真的住在野柳,貴為臺北天龍人的我實在很難想像,早上五點五十分起床,搭著那班僅有的跨縣市公車,然後千里迢迢地跑來上課,錯過了第一班車後,再下一班,你就會看到阿哲9點才走進校門。103Please respect copyright.PENANAN35Yw6ctZ6
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各位,4個小時的車程,我可以從台北搭高鐵下去屏東都綽綽有餘了,只能說他真的是個怪人。103Please respect copyright.PENANAvFobjS1lMI
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至於阿哲姓什麼,名什麼,很抱歉無可奉告,那屬於國家商業機密的一環,反正就記得他叫阿哲就對了,而且我相信各位也不太想知道他叫什麼名字。103Please respect copyright.PENANAyYqLiN77gZ
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我們來聊聊那吸引我注意的女生好了,我相信你們也對這個比較有興趣。103Please respect copyright.PENANARZsWVVVDLQ
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她確實很漂亮,她也確實是我的菜,但阿哲說的沒錯,他太遙不可及了,即使是我已經努力地創造了機會。103Please respect copyright.PENANALVo87bfpt9
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每個剛開學的班級,通常都得做幾件事情,並且是讓人提不起幹勁的。103Please respect copyright.PENANArFrPu7btGU
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像是選班級幹部這檔事。103Please respect copyright.PENANAfGsRCz2jZa
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說到這,我也不禁疑問現在的人到底是怎麼想的。103Please respect copyright.PENANAvnytjfUBsz
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我還記得,我國小時候,選上班長、副班長對班上的人而言,看得比吃飯睡覺還要來的重要,每一次的班級幹部選舉結束,就會看到那些沒選上的人哭得比那年陳水扁因為貪汙被抓走時還要慘。103Please respect copyright.PENANAqOv3h07ayM
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但奇怪的是,到了國高中,每個都把自己演的活像是陶淵明還是周敦頤,搞得對世俗毫不感興趣,只差沒有在座位旁寫上,出淤泥而不染,濯清蓮而不103Please respect copyright.PENANAG5Q5UpHz3T
妖,老衲平生不為五斗米折腰,善哉善哉。103Please respect copyright.PENANAjZiJyEFYXq
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更奇怪的是,等到出社會後,大家又特別想接近那些市議員、立委,好像在社群軟體放上跟官員的合照,自己就能拿到下一次的BOT案。103Please respect copyright.PENANANyNly9OKpu
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在此,要很鄭重的跟你說,不會好嗎,如果你拿的是官員裸照還比較有可能一點。103Please respect copyright.PENANAKL0PsgZVqc
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只不過這一次的班級幹部選舉跟以往不太一樣。103Please respect copyright.PENANAiXwaS3Kzrn
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這是我第一次自願當班級幹部,理由無他,很簡單,她選了學藝股長,於是我自告奮勇當副學藝股長。103Please respect copyright.PENANAmX2xuuLIwO
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當天晚上,我以我的偶像柯南起誓,若不找到她的ig誓不為人。103Please respect copyright.PENANACLl3CcU6zP
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總算,皇天不負苦心人,老天疼惜癡情人,我很快速地點下追蹤,且洋洋灑灑的向她私訊了兩句話。103Please respect copyright.PENANAsrc3j5tWtJ
「嗨!」103Please respect copyright.PENANATKWY7pwMsX
「飛行荷蘭人!」103Please respect copyright.PENANAhKZ7esgk1x
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為什麼叫她荷蘭人呢,這是有原因的,開學第一天的自我介紹,她說她自己有著四分之一的荷蘭血統,於是我左思右想,以這句很有創意的畫作為開場白,而我也確實得到了她的答覆,並在她的ig裡佔有一席之地。103Please respect copyright.PENANAOFyJHil2pD
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她是這麼回答我的。103Please respect copyright.PENANAx3z7d9UXx2
「x你娘,滾。」103Please respect copyright.PENANAo3UaQTsFo9
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然後我就被封鎖了。103Please respect copyright.PENANAxgTeK4wdMk
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後來我不斷的反省自己,得出了兩個結論,第一,她比較愛我媽;第二,這某種程度上來說,我也算是在她的ig裡佔一個名額吧,雖然是在黑名單裡就是了。103Please respect copyright.PENANAum6FQj2AvA
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所以講了那麼多,你可能想問,我們到底是怎麼在一起的。103Please respect copyright.PENANAPMnbKPLzTV
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不,我想你誤會了些什麼,她不是我這次故事中的女主角。103Please respect copyright.PENANApHALgZsAFD
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那會有下次嗎?抱歉,並不會,除非她把我從黑名單放出來,然後愛我比愛我媽多一點。103Please respect copyright.PENANABcQiuPLAtd
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我寫這段故事只是為了向真正的女主角坦白,我很抱歉,過去一段時間我欺騙了妳可能大家都說男人的嘴,騙人的鬼,真的沒錯吧......103Please respect copyright.PENANA3jIgiWmLnI
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每當她問起我是從什麼時候對她有感覺的,我總是說,我從第一眼見到妳,就深深愛上妳,而她也總是佯裝嗔怒的敲打著我,我就喜歡這種感覺。103Please respect copyright.PENANAv911cI1b8e
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即使她或許也知道這是個謊言。103Please respect copyright.PENANAM4bCrvppQJ
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但我們的相遇,比這有意義多了吧,妳說是吧,真正的女主角。103Please respect copyright.PENANA5B2T31LmmE
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那個會在太陽底下運動的妳。103Please respect copyright.PENANAORqB7hJ9vC
那個我說長得很像我表妹的妳。103Please respect copyright.PENANAJ3YngCqHLK
那個至今仍無法被取代的妳。103Please respect copyright.PENANAxrYA2kHkun
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沒錯,那就是妳,林昕澄小姐。103Please respect copyright.PENANAP9ZN7YpGHI
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一個讓我覺得,有了妳就能心想事成的女孩。103Please respect copyright.PENANA5S8b26Ka1U
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其實我也很常問我自己,若是我不曾遇見妳,我還會是我嗎?103Please respect copyright.PENANALCAjcnxzdO
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這個問題,我有了答案。103Please respect copyright.PENANAsVmre0g0Yx
我能以一首歌來結束這一回合。103Please respect copyright.PENANAMuFQAUAUkl
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改編自謝和弦R-chord (阿扣)的謝謝妳愛我103Please respect copyright.PENANAjfBZnvdf8g
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要不是妳在我身旁 呼麻轟趴早就不知道能開幾場103Please respect copyright.PENANAu3ofefDz7k
還好有大麻陪伴 要不然我早就已迷失了方向103Please respect copyright.PENANAz0RE6Kayft
要不是有妹陪開房 我不知道該怎麼獨自面對黑暗103Please respect copyright.PENANAUYTWnVGQ6X
和正妹情歌對唱 把爸媽晾一邊的那種 痛快感103Please respect copyright.PENANAkjO9HOtBwK
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親愛的 謝謝妳愛我 雖然吸大麻很嗨103Please respect copyright.PENANAymUVI7K9Ae
脾氣壞 固執韌性機歪 有點像阿呆103Please respect copyright.PENANAhKaB2fdWyE
只要沒妳在 警察就會來 準備被抓到監獄說聲掰掰103Please respect copyright.PENANA3Q53X9T0v9
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親愛的 謝謝妳愛我 雖然我個性機掰103Please respect copyright.PENANAflxMxpQD6i
很多人 說我做人失敗 真的不意外103Please respect copyright.PENANA7yhVR2tdUj
但是有妳在 不害怕未來 妳就是我將來要娶的老婆 李太太103Please respect copyright.PENANAyrtzpQPwLQ
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謝謝妳,曾經,愛過我。103Please respect copyright.PENANARNl155xAOi
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待續,有點口嫌體正直的我,本來打算今天什麼事都不做就這麼躺在床上,但總覺得回憶卻一點一滴地從我體內流失,只好又爬起來寫了這段。103Please respect copyright.PENANASVX4UOJULm