Trigger warning: Mentions of homophobia and mild violence.
294Please respect copyright.PENANASIrFS5E0pi
lizzy williams:
Hey I have strict parents so try not to send stuff like that without asking if I’m pos but yeah I am lol
294Please respect copyright.PENANAOioiCozTPN
She had replied within seconds.
294Please respect copyright.PENANAbP8J6AeakR
ash:
sorry! whats pos mean?
294Please respect copyright.PENANApXnbsq08wm
I was at a church activity and I was hiding in the bathroom while the other girls were out playing basketball. I knew I should be out there trying to make friends but I was just so tired of having a full day of dealing with humans. Again. Besides, I didn’t fit in at church here. I didn’t fit in anywhere that wasn’t Atlanta.
But weren’t you always lying about your s xuality back home? Weren’t you always pretending you were neurotypical?
That voice in my head had a point.
294Please respect copyright.PENANAM4eHxIJqBj
lizzy williams:
Parent over shoulder. Basically when my parents are looking and I can’t delete my texts.
294Please respect copyright.PENANAlp9YsqMzVe
ash:
oh ok gotcha. well we should talk more, i have never met anyone like me before
294Please respect copyright.PENANAZm2DSMUR8k
Nick hadn’t replied yet, but Adam and I had been chatting about his job and how my old life had been in Georgia. I hadn’t told him I was a lesbian yet because it turns it he was also a member of our church. And I wasn’t ready to deal with any homophobia today. Coming out was a lot easier with people who weren’t religious. But my fellow Mormons? It was difficult. You never knew how they would react. I closed my eyes for a second, remembering how Amanda had said she would rather die than have another girl have a crush on her, how my ex Jenny got punched when she first came out and how the other girls shunned her from the dressing room. What if people here responded in the same way?
294Please respect copyright.PENANAXzJ8RpjdYV
lizzy williams:
Ok :) see ya tmr
294Please respect copyright.PENANA3vwLhl4ozu
* * *
294Please respect copyright.PENANA3Oc3ZnJofU
ash:
i miss the fall colors most of all. summer here is almost over and the colorful leaves arent as obvious as they were in georgia.
294Please respect copyright.PENANAF5zzcraNX9
I stared at my phone before deleting the message. I needed to stop texting Jenny. She never replied.
Jenny and I got together in secret. I wasn’t ready to be out to anyone, not after seeing how she was treated. She was patient but eventually it wasn’t enough. And she got tired of worrying about my anxiety and depression.
I wasn’t enough for her.
And I promised myself that I would do my best to never fall in love with a girl again. Because I knew I would never be enough for anybody.
294Please respect copyright.PENANAEjFwH59x4M
* * *
294Please respect copyright.PENANAIK3s9LCU4H
“How are you, Ash?” Dr. Coleman asked. “Been feeling any better?”
“Yeah,” I lied. “Yeah I think so.”294Please respect copyright.PENANA8TtprionmZ
“Getting adjusted to your new school?”
“I’m trying.”
“Any friends at school yet?”
“I’m working on it,” I replied with a small smile.
Dr. Coleman raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything about it. “Found a new therapist yet? Do we need to change your meds?”
“No,” I lied. I tried not to squirm thinking about the medication. The false reality it seemed to provide. “I think I’m okay.”
294Please respect copyright.PENANATjmOkd3q5s