I used to be completely consumed by why people left. I sit for hours at night, writing furiously in my notebook why each person decided they did not want to be friends with me. I spent ages pondering where each friendship went wrong, where I messed up, why did you decide I'm not worth it this time. It would be dark outside, the radio towers blinking through my backyard, and I would be in agony over why can't I ever be good enough for anybody. The leaves would be falling down as I'd conclude that I am simply unlovable. The snow would be falling down as I'd decide to shut myself off from everybody. I stayed away, watching through blurry eyes as I burned bridges.
I concluded that I am entirely unlovable.
I was wrong.
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287Please respect copyright.PENANAA55ZC9KIt3
My friend moved away last year, and it's kind of interesting how you miss people more once they're gone, and how you're closer to them when you don't ever see them in person. Now, I appreciate the little things about my friend. I notice her handwriting more in the letters that she sends me. I carry around the little stuffed bunny she bought me for my birthday. I walk past spots where we used to hang out and catch a faint glimpse of that memory. It's almost like I know her more, now that I'm constantly reminded of her.
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It's interesting to notice the small things about people. The way she makes puns every chance she gets, the way he only calls fall "autumn." The way that she leans to the side when she laughs. It's the little things about people, and it makes me love them even more. Notice the small things about your friends, each person is incredibly unique. You only cross paths with each person in your life for a certain amount of time, eventually things are going to happen. People move away, people go to college, and people just grow apart and find other friends. This is how life goes, and it took me a while to learn that. People just grow apart sometimes, and that's okay, endings to anything makes the thing in question way more meaningful. Enjoy moments with your friends, enjoy people, get to know them while you are able. People are awesome, and I love my friends.
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People show their love in different ways. Some people are very loud and vocal, never hesitating to tell their friends that they love them, giving out warmth when they walk into the room. Some people show their love more subtly. They give gifts, they remember your favorite animal, they invite you to movies that you like. Most people are a varying mixture of both. My mom gives me hugs and says she loves me every night before I go to bed. She also makes me sandwiches before sports games, dinner every night, and lattes in the morning. My dad does not like board games. However, he still plays them with me, because he knows that I like them. I guess it's just really cool about the subtle ways that people show their love.
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