兌現唔到嘅承諾 - 案件重演

佢對住天花板瞓，雙手合十放喺心口前面講：「我知啊。」

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我講完呢句個腦就好似hang咗機咁，諗唔到下一句。

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我望住佢塊臉，參透唔到佢依刻係咩心情。

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話佢開心佢又冇笑；話佢傷心佢又唔係就嚟要喊；話佢嬲佢又唔似抑制緊憤怒：話佢擔心佢又瞓得好舒服咁。

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佢剩係望住個粉紅色天花板，彷彿期待緊我可以講出佢想要嘅答案。

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佢想我講咩？佢話佢知我鍾意佢，唔通佢係想我講啲佢唔知嘅嘢？

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我要講咩？我要講咩？

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我喺腦入面整理線索，機會得一次。

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喺我哋依幾年嘅相處入面，佢希望我得到啲咩？佢希望我畀到啲咩佢？

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我嘅思緒喺時間洪流不斷往返，我同佢嘅回憶喺腦海入面陸續浮現。

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我隔咗咁耐先嚟搵佢，佢一定係想我有改變。

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我有咩變咗？

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「有啲嘢我哋盡咗力都拎唔到，唔係因為我哋『唔夠』盡力，係因為我哋唔夠『力』。」

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阿欣講咗句無厘頭嘅嘢，佢講落去：「盡力只係令我哋去到上限，不過如果我哋嘅上限係得咁多嘅話，幾盡力都冇用。更何況我哋連自己係咪盡咗力都唔肯定。」

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佢打側望住我，問：「你嘅上限喺邊？」

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我唔知佢呢個幾月經歷咗啲咩，不過仲未到我跟唔上嘅程度。

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佢頭先嗰番說話提醒咗我，我喺依幾年入面最大嘅得著係啲咩。

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我指著佢塊臉話：「我上限好低，亦都完全冇諗過去依度見妳，我剩係識靠人。但係如果冇妳嘅話我唔會識到佢哋，冇佢哋嘅話我都唔會同返妳講嘢。葉子欣，做我女朋友。」

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佢微笑，好似等緊啲咩咁。

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佢見我唔出聲，問：「花呢？」

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我冇買。

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「表白唔使花㗎？你認真？」佢係咁笑。

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我擒擒青咁起身，「我、我依家去買！」

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我跑出房、著鞋、跑出屋、撳𨋢掣。

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望住部𨋢咁啱去咗下一層我條氣就唔順，橫掂都係七樓，行樓梯仲快。

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我冇諗過個身會濕晒嘅問題，用好似唔買花就會冇命咁嘅速度跑落樓梯。

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極速落樓梯。

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我落到地下之後即刻跑去附近嘅商場，嗰度地下有花店。

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我又係嘅，以為告完白就可以上床攬攬錫錫......單純攬攬錫錫，冇其他嘢。

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我到依家都唔明女仔想要咩，阿欣想要咩。

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佢真係純粹想喺我身邊攞安全感？想喺過度硬頸嘅父母教育入面搵個救生泡？佢唔係咁脆弱嘅人。

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等陣，咁講啫係......

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我去到間花店，是但拎咗枝紅玫瑰交畀老闆娘。

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「哈......哈......哈......」「細路仔，慢慢嚟，唞定啖氣先。」老闆娘放低紮花。

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「哈......哈......」我起返身，老闆同我講：「九十九蚊。」

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啲人送花好似係成紮送，我送得一枝會唔會......唔會，物輕情意重。

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我畀咗一百蚊，找返錢之後就拎住紮花慢慢行返去。

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跑會整爛朵花，成身汗返去都唔係幾好。

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阿欣唔係想我畀嘢佢，係想畀嘢我。

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佢點解會鍾意我？佢睇中我邊度？我從來都冇諗過依啲問題。

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人唔會無端端鍾意人，更加唔會無端端違背父母意願同人拍拖。

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睇嚟今次到我問返佢。

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我喺樓下大堂撞到世伯同伯母，佢哋同我諗嘅一樣係去咗拎蛋糕。

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我估個蛋糕係三人份，所以我應該冇份食。

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「你拎住枝花做咩？」拎住盒蛋糕嘅世伯問我。

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「我諗、諗阿欣應該會鍾意。」我是但作咗個理由，冇同佢哋講我已經上過去一次。

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「你遲到喎。」伯母同我講。

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我明喇。

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佢哋兩個係想製造timing畀我同阿欣傾下，所以先唔喺間屋入面。

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「其實我已經見過阿欣，佢話要花。」我笑住咁講。

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「你冇買花就上去？真係唔識做。」世伯望落有啲失望。

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兩位應該唔係想幫我，只係畀個機會我，最後都係要靠我自己。

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「依家咪買咗。」我笑笑口。

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我哋三個去到門口，「我哋扮未返到，你哋繼續。」世伯同我講完就同伯母一齊入房。

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我喺廳拎咗啲紙巾抹汗之後再敲門，「係我。」

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「入嚟。」阿欣喺房入面話。

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