《最接近的陌生距離》(一) - 10

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嗖——！嗖——！嗖——！穿針嘅聲音一個接一個咁響。籃球一彈一跳咁碌到我腳邊。

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「喂——！整返粒啦匡哥！」

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我搖搖頭，就剔起個籃球再掟返比阿偉。唉⋯⋯我咁嘅款邊有心情打波呀？

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目送Miss Wong好嬲咁離開後，我成個人呆晒咁企咗喺課室。阿偉唔知咩時候返課室拎嘢，然後佢好似同我講咗啲咩就捉咗落嚟操場1 on 1。

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我冇咩狀態下同佢鬥波梗係比佢炒晒。最後我自己企咗喺場邊頹緊，諗咗好多嘢。Miss Wong嬲我就一定架啦，而且呢次比之前逃學更大鑊，佢頭先講到好似要同我斷絕關係咁。但係⋯⋯我諗嚟諗去都諗唔明，點解Miss Wong仲會Keep住張紙嘅？！佢理應對每個學生一視同仁，但⋯⋯點解偏偏佢仲會Keep住我嗰張普通到不得了嘅紙仔嘅？

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喺我諗爆頭之時，突然間——

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崩———！

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「嘩——！」我頭一下劇痛，眼睛黑咗一秒，然後一陣天旋地轉。我定一定神，粒波仲喺我腳邊彈緊！

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「醒未呀你！」阿偉嚴肅嘅樣對我大叫。

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「仆你個街呀！搵波掟我？！」

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「唔順氣呀？鬥波囉！」

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「咪咁串呀柒頭！」

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躁躁地掟返個波埋去。於是我地兩兄弟又鏈返場。今次我狀態返嚟，同阿偉鬥得好激烈，最後係我贏咗。

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「嗄⋯⋯嗄⋯⋯」我攤咗喺操場中間抖緊。

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「好波呀兄弟！」阿偉跟埋我一齊攤晒喺度：「咁先似樣架嘛！」

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打完場波，心情好啲，思路又清晰咗啲，我話：「阿偉，唔該晒。」

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「唔該啲咩呀？」佢扮到唔知咩事，但其實佢可能一早睇穿咗我。

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從來暗戀人都係孤單。因為好怕呢個秘密比人知道咗之後，就永遠都追唔到個女仔。更何況，我暗戀嘅人係Miss Wong，係自己嘅老師呀！唔可以比人知架⋯⋯自從愛上咗Miss Wong，呢條戀愛嘅路只得我自己一個單打獨鬥。我以為做返乖仔，可以同佢關係更進一步。但其實只係做緊一個好學生而已。總之呢一刻，我受夠，好想有人可以明白我⋯⋯

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「阿偉呀？」

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「嗯？」

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其實阿偉一定知我有心事。做兄弟咁耐，佢唔會問我有咩唔開心。佢只會等我親自講出口。呢刻我明白佢點解要捉我嚟打波。

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「就咁嘅⋯⋯我有個朋友⋯⋯」

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「哦！你嘅朋友！」

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「佢有啲煩惱。我幫唔到佢，所以想問下你可以點做。」

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我將我嘅事包裝成我「朋友」嘅事，將Miss Wong 改成隔離女校嘅中七師姐。阿偉唔會過問，亦都唔特登挖係邊位我「朋友」。佢只係用心聽，同用心比意見。

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「⋯⋯你朋友唔洗愁喎！呢件係好事呢架！」

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「吓？」我眼都突埋。

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「五個字。」阿偉比出五隻手指：「愛之深，責之切！」

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「六個字喎阿偉哥！」

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「嗱，冇錯你朋友今次做得好錯。但我就咁聽，個女仔係錫你朋友先會咁勞氣。」

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「錫？你意思係⋯⋯鍾意？」

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「邊咁快呀，但個女仔一定好重視你朋友。」阿偉拍拍我肩，講：「你朋友幫佢做咁多嘢，女仔佢或多或少感受到你朋友嘅好意。最重要係⋯⋯」

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11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVijMK17EM

「個女仔仲Keep住你朋友留比佢嘅紙仔呀！」

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11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGLM4E4c4d

「張紙⋯⋯我⋯⋯」我聽到阿偉咁講，驚訝到差啲講錯嘢，我即刻糾正返講：「我指即係朋友，佢寫得核突，張紙又皺晒，我唔明對個女仔有咩意思喎！」

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「你都識講啦！個女仔面對咁多壓力同煩惱，學校一個朋友都冇。你朋友呢張紙即使望落微不足道，但對個女仔來講係好鼓舞。因為個女仔最需要支持嗰時，你朋友比到支持同安慰佢啊！」

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我一面疑惑咁望住阿偉。

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「唔信呀？」阿偉：「叫你朋友，留意下個女仔發現唔見張紙時，睇下個女仔發唔發矛？」

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阿偉望一望天，就話：「天黑啦喂！返課室拎嘢走人啦。」11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmKn4FbJWQ

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFftGpV3ibl

我懷住疑問隨阿偉返課室拎書包走人。喺行返落去期間我見到會議室剛好熄咗燈，一眾訓輔兩組嘅老師喺會議室陸續行出嚟。我見到Miss Wong 拎住一大疊文件，佢每走一步都好遴迍。終於——

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「哎呀！」佢跌咗一份文件就引起骨牌效應，手上所有嘢郁跌晒落地。

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我同阿偉見到之後，阿偉拍一拍我肩，示意一齊過去幫手。

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「女王大人！！」阿偉突然咁叫Miss Wong，搞到佢唔知要好嬲定好驚訝咁回應阿偉。

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「咦！你跌咗嘢喎！」阿偉突然喺Miss Wong面前停低，充滿惡作劇意味咁講。

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Miss Wong即刻嬲到企返起身，叉晒腰咁講：「你係咪嚟幫手架？！」

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「女王大人叫到！騎士隨時候命！」

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「你試下再咁叫我啊嗱！係咪想小息罰企啊！」

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「喂！快啲呀阿匡！」阿偉向仲行緊過嚟嘅我叫道：「女王要幫手呀！」

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「你夠啦！黃佳偉！冇大冇細！」

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「sor! Sor! 」阿偉同Miss Wong講完之後再對住我講：「得未呀匡哥！妖！咁慢！」

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我對Miss Wong嘅愛，令一切慢慢變質。今日佢好惡咁鬧我，令我唔敢行埋去。我唔係驚佢再鬧我⋯⋯或者我反而好想佢好似平時鬧省人咁鬧多我幾句。我只係怕我行埋去時，佢唔當我存在。所以我行得好慢，好驚面對現實。

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不過我最終都係行咗埋去，我強裝歡笑，話：「係咪要幫手呀？」

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「咁梗係啦！正所謂⋯⋯」阿偉扮到好正經咁同Miss Wong講：「男人係唔應該要女人流汗架嘛！」

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「黃！佳！偉！」

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阿偉不斷咁搞笑，似乎想個氣氛自然啲。

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「哈哈哈！做嘢做嘢！」阿偉拎起好重嘅文件交咗比我：「阿匡呢疊你嘅。咁嗰疊就我嘅！」

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阿偉拎晒啲文件後正想離開，不過我見到地下仲有一本書仲未拎，我就話：「仲差一本呀！」

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我細心啲睇，原來係Miss Wong嘅行事曆。本行事曆跌晒入面啲嘢都跌晒出嚟。筆呀、相呀、便條呀、卡片咩都有。

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「呢個我執返就得架啦。」

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Miss Wong埋去執返本行事曆後，check緊有冇唔見嘢。只見佢翻咗幾頁，就皺晒眉頭。佢抬起頭嚟，口中唸唸有詞，表情變得古怪。

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「Miss? 你冇事嘛？」我不禁咁問。

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Miss Wong微微一笑，話：「冇⋯⋯冇事！啊！我好似⋯⋯留低咗啲嘢喺課室。你兩個將啲文件放喺我位就好快啲返屋企啦！唔該晒！」

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「Yes! Your Majesty!」

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Miss Wong又厲咗阿偉一眼。

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「Miss，係咪⋯⋯」我想話洗唔洗陪佢，但阿偉好快拉住我。

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「行啦！匡哥！我想返屋企呀！」

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於是我被佢催住去Miss Wong位度放低啲文件。

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「阿偉，你行先。我想返一返課室，我好似漏低咗啲嘢！」

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我唔知Miss Wong緊張啲咩，可能係因為我張紙仔？或者呢刻我要即刻比返佢？

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但係阿偉拉一拉住我，佢個死人樣又變到懶係好有睿智咁，仲要特登撚把懶好聽聲咁講——

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「啲酒呢⋯⋯要擺耐啲先會香同醇架！」

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「叫你朋友，留意下個女仔發現唔見咗張紙時會點囉。睇下個女仔發唔發矛？」

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今晚唔係好瞓到，令我腦中不斷響起阿偉呢句說話。記返起Miss Wong當時執返本行事曆時嘅表情真係好緊張咁，然後又煞有介事地話返課室拎嘢？Miss Wong因為唔見咗我留比佢嘅紙仔而慌張起嚟？真係咁樣？

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我抱住呢戰問題輾轉反側咗好耐。希望真係如阿偉所講今次Miss Wong開足火力鬧我其實唔係壞事。

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因為我對佢重要，Miss Wong先會特別嬲。

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最後反正都瞓唔著，我拎起Miss Wong本白先勇佢品——《孽子》睇下。我留比佢嘅紙仔比我攝咗落書皮度。最後後睇睇下，唔知幾時就瞓著咗。

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「你地⋯⋯做咩咁早到？」

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早上七點鐘，Miss Wong企起課室外面好驚訝咁講。

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「Good morning Miss Wong!」我帶頭之下，阿偉、杰少仲有阿波跟埋一齊同佢打招呼。

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「繼續做嘢！」我拍住手催促班兄弟做嘢。

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琴日走嘅時候我諗過，最壞嘅情況即使Miss Wong 嬲到唔想理我，但無損我對佢嘅感覺。鍾意一個人，就係想佢開心，為佢分憂。所以我決定拿拿聲幫佢搞店個班壁報。咁Miss Wong就少樣嘢煩。

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本來阿波同杰少彩我都有味，大佬七點鐘到課室搞啲咁嘅嘢喎。不過阿偉真係唔話得，佢一出手，杰少同阿波就唔托手踭。

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Miss Wong呢個時候慢慢走嚟壁報板前，一面難置信話：「你地咁早就為咗整壁報？」

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「我地唔想放學整嘛！」阿波釘緊底紙。

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「係囉，點唔知幾時又被Miss你罰留堂。到時又冇得整。」杰少剪緊啲裝飾。

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「嗱嗱聲搞店，就少樣嘢煩啦！你話係咪呀?女王大人！」阿偉。

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「黃佳偉！」Miss Wong 又厲住佢，然後又話：「咁早返嚟做嘢，係邊個嘅主意？」

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「匡哥囉！」佢地三個一齊指住我。

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頂，我冇諗過佢地會咁樣篤我出嚟。我好驚自己嘅表情會出賣自己，所以就拎啲物資去班房嘅一角慢慢整。

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我感覺到Miss Wong氣息好似有啲唔同。我偷偷瞄佢一眼，剛好佢望住咗我。我同佢眼神交接一刻，彷彿構成一種交流——刻意避開眼神！

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⋯⋯搞咩呀？我同佢同一時間避開咗？

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我keep住低頭做嘢，但忍唔住都係要偷望Miss Wong一眼。只見佢又翹起手，做出招牌嘅女王pose。但總覺得佢呢下動作好造作，似乎想掩飾一啲心理狀態。佢行去阿偉度就話：「我仲未同你地傾要做咩主題喎。咁快就開始做？」

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「女王大人，你放心都得啦⋯⋯啊！！sor sor！ Miss 唔好嬲啦！⋯⋯放心喎！實啱主題喎！」阿偉向我望嚟，就話：「匡哥，不如你講下你諗法係點？」

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我冇預料到阿偉會咁樣交波，一時間接都接唔住，搞到我亂晒陣腳，話：「呃⋯⋯未⋯⋯未就係『我們這一班』囉。」

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「唉！老土呀！」杰少。

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「係咁架啦！學校今年主題係『關愛校園』嘛！」阿偉：「呢次班級壁報比賽一定贏呀！女王大人！」

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「係呀！女王大人！」

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「sure win 呀！女王大人！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMoe7hIMqE8

「你地三個夠啦吓！！」Miss Wong爆完佢地三個後，再問：「所以呢個主意係⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9u0foaYt9n

「未又係匡哥囉！」佢地三個又指鬼住我。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzSkMVsMYO

我慌張咁望返Miss Wong，只見佢點一點頭，嘴角有啲微笑就返咗去老師枱度做嘢。雖然我同佢冇交流，但我似乎感受到Miss消咗啖氣。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7vG6w5J0V

唉⋯⋯點都好，只要我繼續鍾意佢，其他順其自然就得。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3VF1EcdLJ

我一邊做嘢，一邊偷望佢。從前嘅佢做嘢好專注，短短一個鐘就改晒成疊簿。但今日嘅佢時不時抄下個櫃桶，又行去簿櫃望下。咦⋯⋯難道佢真係搵緊我張紙仔？

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgSAhgNMjp

此時，Miss Wong望返過嚟，佢表情忽然唔自然咗一下，再將頭髮圈去耳背後面，慢慢行返埋位做嘢。有說人嘅心理黎映喺行為上面。愈細微嘅行為，所反映出嘅心理就愈真實——Miss Wong時不時揭開自己本行事曆，佢真係想搵嘢！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchfNZOn7f9

張紙仔而家喺⋯⋯哎呀！喺屋企度添！喺我慌寸大亂時

，阿偉走埋嚟，輕輕拍我膊頭。我同佢四目交投，佢一面認真咁，似乎示意我冷靜啲。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7sw5v0aXP

「我要𠝹刀呀呀！撚樣！」阿偉

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「喂！邊個講粗口！」Miss Wong

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= = = =

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「人渣添」比周Sir 搞鳩完之後，成個人馴到好似錦羊咁。唔止親自同Miss Wong道歉，仲交晒欠落嘅功課。查簿呢一關應該安全渡過。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiui7MEtAuW

不過Miss Wong嘅男女緋聞呢一關未必咁易過。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRAOCr9neM

我收到風加上我自己嘅觀察，周Sir喺「人渣添」呢件事上幫咗Miss Wong 好大忙，所以佢借啲意想同Miss Wong搞返好啲關係。但Miss Wong一直避開佢。不過任Miss Wong點避都好，有啲嘢佢係已無辦法去阻止同改變——

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「Miss Wong搞人老公。」、「Miss Wong 收學生做兵。」、「Miss Wong衣著唔檢點」⋯⋯⋯⋯

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQDWh2ChuG

呢啲秘密最多都係老師之間流傳。但近日多咗喺學生之間聽到呢啲說話。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYb296bIsF

我見到Miss Wong唔止好疲累，仲好似成身傷晒，個心流緊血。即使如此⋯⋯

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「⋯⋯記得啦！小測係一定會咁問。你地一定要識睇問題，明明識做但睇錯問題。好唔抵呀⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhx59ulUJ1

佢依然將呢啲痛苦收埋，盡心盡力教我地班。冇被個人情緒所影響。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jGwfqSa4h

「⋯⋯唔阻呀！係咪要問功課？嚟呀，我教你呀。」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLmaNgEVWP

佢每日連食飯時間都要去教學生。有時⋯⋯我知架！我見到架！佢有時真係連飯都冇食就捱咗一日啊！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wfXcwqWMV

「⋯⋯杰少，你爸爸好返未？冇事就好啦，你一定要大個仔啦，唔好掛住玩。你讀好啲書當幫爸爸啦。」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6Zy3XgDwT

有次杰少老豆做地盤時跌斷腳，杰少down到喺學校爆喊。Miss Wong即使傷晒，但佢仍然將心比心去愛自己每一個學生。佢呢份溫柔唔係我專屬，佢都對每一個學生都係咁溫柔。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8nmbf1Qs2

「⋯⋯阿添，記得唔好再打交啦。你有冇受傷呀？」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7bBPGf5pu

即使對佢差嘅學生，Miss Wong都一樣照去關心。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iE8Sqgi57

任呢個世界點去傷害佢， Miss Wong仍然做好本分。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjZLZxTHcG

呢間學校未必個個人都了解Miss Wong ，佢未必係一個可以討全校學生喜愛嘅老師。即使好多流言將佢形象破壞晒。但至少，我地4A班喺Miss Wong努力教導、無盡嘅愛同關心之下，我地知道黃梓盈絕對係一位好老師！絕對唔係啲流言所講嘅咁差！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2b4KuF6nlh

「⋯⋯邊個再叫我做女王大人嘅，我就⋯⋯唉！你地鍾意點叫就點叫啦！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUhpzZlldn

Miss Wong感受到我地班好錫佢，佢無奈咁接受「女王大人」呢個花名。

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面對種種壓力同失敗，或者⋯⋯

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「⋯⋯嗱！我要見到大家笑到見晒牙架！哈⋯⋯1、2、3⋯⋯」

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卡嚓——！

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面對流言蜚語，或者⋯⋯

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「⋯⋯4A班！仲記唔記得我親自設計嘅4A手勢點做？下一張相我要個個都做到架！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ET7NfZ0gf

「Yes ! Your Majesty!」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9gZOudGFv

或者⋯⋯我地4A班就係Miss堅持繼續教書嘅原因。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xRJnvoWCT

「班長，記得笑呀！仲有呢個動作呀!」Miss Wong 向我做出salior moon嘅出場動作。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DUmwfe01p

影班相嗰日，我係班長，坐喺我心愛嘅人隔離。我所深愛嘅人佢笑嘅時候係最靚。只係呢日，佢嘅笑容之下有一種悲傷。佢面對鏡頭卻選擇微笑應對，就好似佢面對一個多月以嚟嘅種種困難咁，用微笑化解一切憂慮。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnwItoOOee

卡嚓——！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0l3CrN2Gm

最終張班相，由於我掛住望住佢，因而成為全班最唔合群嘅一個。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuDJxuYCYf

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjApSBGe5Pt

= = = =

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我同Miss Wong關係慚慚正常返，朝早同阿偉佢地做壁報，放學就去Miss負責嘅留堂班Sit 堂。就好似發生陷害「人渣添」事件之前咁。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bPfZVL6db

正常⋯⋯其實我又唔覺得變到好似之前咁。總覺得Miss Wong唔多想同我傾太多學習以外嘅嘢。我又唔太想做好多越界嘅嘢。應該話⋯⋯我唔敢妄想Miss Wong可以做我女朋友。我專心做佢兵仔就夠。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYvyZUXXnU

不過今日我收到一個好差嘅消息——Matthew因為情緒病復發而決定退學。搞到Miss Wong 全日都唔多點講嘢，中文堂用突擊測驗嚟攝時間。雖然我唔知道Miss Wong同Matthew 有冇一齊過，但我知佢一直都好擔心Matthew。亦都因為Matthew, Miss Wong 被部分嘅中七師兄怪責。指佢明明同周Sir拍拖，但仲Flirt Matthew，搞到佢比周Sir迫害。今日Matthew退學，唔只令Miss Wong 傷心，亦都會令佢背脊中箭。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLD1ARXSVCj

睇住Miss孤獨咁望遠景，我真係好想幫佢。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8bc0iIeS8
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= = = =

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「bye bye Miss Wong!」

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「bye bye! 唔好再欠交功課啦！」

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「知道！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡur7maPSfkk

Matthew退學後三日，放學留堂班。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayrJetR5qu

當最後一個師弟離開課室後，Miss Wong 走嚟同我講：「仲唔走？」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40d5hA3ilH

「我想做多陣嘢。」其實我想陪你。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTfNTixm03

Miss Wong點點頭，就喺位度拎咗份小測卷比我：「咁你改完正就走啦。唔識問我。」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnacLfrsJW

「嗯。」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66hb38A9Kw

佢又一個人去窗邊望遠境。唉⋯⋯換係之前佢一定單對單咁教我，逐題解釋再執我字醜。已經第三日啦。咁樣唔得喎！我⋯⋯可以點做？

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmTURXf3fF

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbj2ksGeu4W

「你唔開心嘅時候！我總有方法令你笑！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUM7f16X9SH

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGs2wAWkRf

我忽然醒起之前我心入面講嘅嘢。咦⋯⋯？可以咁做喎！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡur2O0khNEh

「咳⋯⋯咳⋯⋯」我故意咳得大聲啲引Miss Wong 注意。但佢好似被遠處嘅風景所吸住咗，眼尾都唔望我。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMWHpckuOx

「Miss！」我最後決定叫佢。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEA8hYazD77

「唔識做？」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDC8Dr1K3Is

「係呀，有嘢想問下你。」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4YQDgIwQw

「嗯。」佢疲倦咁微笑，但仍然企喺窗前。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3bBPtn3bT

「嗱！如果著鞋識跑，著泳褲就識游水。咁著咩識飛呀？」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2w1yjohY22

我用一個好雀躍嘅眼神望住Miss Wong。但見到佢面上強裝出嚟嘅微笑慢慢消失，我就知奶咗嘢。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0J1nUVnkWX

「就係著（雀）仔啦！哈⋯⋯哈⋯⋯！雀仔識飛架嘛！哈⋯⋯哈⋯⋯」我見佢唔識笑，我自己都覺得老尷，傻笑咁講：「哈⋯⋯哈⋯⋯都幾好笑呀⋯⋯哈⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjUmMEK0Zc

「⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3nBePQPhP

「哈，哈⋯⋯」唉，好柒。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSezCB4AlSN

佢又望返遠景。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYoYPyD4ez

唔得！我唔可以咁就放棄！我一定要引到你笑為止！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGG5pRAmGBN

「Miss！」我舉手。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQseJDexgNp

「⋯⋯」頭先我玩嘢，搞到佢而家個樣比之前嚴肅好多，嘢都唔多句。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCaIa7mTzI

「小測第一題就問，『《出師表》作者寫的對象是誰？』有留心聽Miss Wong你講書都知答案係『劉禪』啦！但你知唔知係咩情況之下會答『劉德華』？」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF2rCo0eHy

「⋯⋯」佢面無表情咁疑視住我。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8TSSNR85F

「就係⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIiRMfVCSa

「⋯⋯」Miss Wong聽都費事，又望返遠景。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0zpOWj2YP

「未就係答錯嘅時候囉⋯⋯」我老尷到講嘢都漸漸細聲。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDDpU7GzXB

唉⋯⋯我寧願佢呢刻鬧我搞事然後趕我走，起碼佢真係有反應嘛！但佢而家連鬧都費事，佢而家咁嘅情緒真係令我好擔心！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs31GlbUfX7

冷笑話唔得，咁我要出絕招啦！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSR18cLEGg

呢一招連笑點高嘅阿偉都笑到仆街。好⋯⋯

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyvpEOvUXP

「咦⋯⋯個班相想跌咁喎！」我指住壁報上裱起咗嘅班相緊張咁講！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PyKuch3xB

果然呢招吸引咗Miss Wong 注意力，佢望去班相度。但發覺其實咩事都冇。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnAA1i8ReQ

「等我用鑽返粒釘先！」我右手做咁個電鑽嘅手勢然後用我強大嘅仿聲秘技，整咗啲電鑽聲出嚟！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIbUNs2VFl

呢招係揉合咗啲默劇技巧！實笑啦掛？

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokd4WSovIW

「⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVqVA7se1j

頂！仲係唔笑？

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbANHkHvcg

冇可能！呢招個個都頂唔順架喎！我唔會咁易就放棄嘅！Miss Wong！我一定要氹到你笑為止！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwPKW7uQM9

接著我將劇社學返嚟嘅嘢統統都施展出嚟！默劇呀、形體動作呀、扮鍾景輝呀、扮詹瑞文呀、扮詹瑞文扮嘅鍾景輝呀、貓貓狗狗豬牛羊雞⋯⋯屌！十二生肖都差唔多扮晒啦！Miss都仲係唔笑啊！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0aIGWs6fO

我⋯⋯我啲戲咁屎架咩！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtQIKEYX9S

「呢把係刀！只要我錚一聲⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8XZr0RIcf

「你玩夠未啊！」Miss Wong 行返去老師枱前，一面怒容：「唔想做改正嘅就即刻返屋企！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88255T5ICy

「Sor⋯⋯Sorry!」雖然佢總算有啲反應，但堅惡，我比佢嘛親：「我⋯⋯做返改正。」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzhDUdwrg9

唉⋯⋯冇法啦。嗱嗱聲改完正就走。但邊有咁易呀！有一條難到我諗嚟諗去都諗唔明，終於今次係到我爆啦！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUONi0eP1N

「啊———！唔識做呀！」我發晒老脾咁叫。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjdlOaGPVB

「邊題呀？」Miss Wong 轉緊枝紅筆。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs93p1MCw17

「呢題囉！」我指住份卷講。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UGkkZ8iEI

「咁遠我點睇到呀！」Miss Wong 抱怨一聲，就走嚟拎起我份卷，讀咗條題目出嚟：「『請把「心凝形鐸，與萬化冥合」譯為白話文。』喂!謝子匡！」佢放低份卷，面露不悅咁講：「我解過好多次啦喎！你肯定冇留心啦！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlQS7SbV2H

「Miss，而家咩年代呀！仲讀古文。第時出嚟做嘢用唔到啦！做生意洗唔洗用古文架？簽合約用文言文架咩？！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7VN0BpyNF

Miss Wong聽見我公然駁佢嘴，就瞪起眼、叉住腰話：「古文係包含古人嘅智慧。你讀過孟子嘅《論四端》架嘛！仲有莊子《刨丁解牛》呢！入面有啲道理到今日都有用架！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sb4ja3fFh

「唉！講開佢地！嗱！我問你呀，孔子、孟子、莊子，仲有柳宗元、陶淵明、李白、李清照！佢地有冇諗過佢地嘅作品會係1000幾百年後都仲有影響力呀？」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtxKJusCk8

「⋯⋯」佢冇出聲，似乎諗緊我提出嘅問題。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOhnW8WLCK

「我唔係講緊啲大道理會教化後世人喎！我係講緊⋯⋯嗱！就好似李白呢條醉酒佬！喂，Miss， 1000年前有個醉酒佬可能剛剛同老婆嗌完交，大叫『酒啊！』就走去飲酒。佢飲到醉晒唸咗首詩！喂，首詩可能對住條河痾緊尿嗰時作出嚟架喎！你覺得佢有冇諗過呢條屎坑詩喺1000年後會比人拎嚟考公開試，即係好似佢地嗰時考科舉咁呀！仲影響咗香港幾代人添呀！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3WMhVQOt1

「⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWWGTXg7Vj

「仲有呢條呀！『以下那一個是作者換上藍色窗簾布的心情？A 代表他對死去妻子的愛 B代表他抑鬱心情 C 代表他在事業上鬱鬱不得志 D 以上皆是。』Miss Wong你會點答呀。」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGLp8dlOf8

「係A呀。」份卷佢出，佢梗知答案！（順手改正先。哈哈⋯⋯！）

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvN4oYosKn

「錯！」但我大大聲話：「答案係——」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOQUaN4CDS

Miss好愕然咁望住我。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlb28Peem8e
11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumjVTMZB8R

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrat2ykhL9

「答案係E啊！作者話『我剩係想換窗簾布咋！』」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt96oc6SXgB

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x1pnv6uyO

「中文卷真係⋯⋯真係好鬼有趣架！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtfrMaKWK0

我噴完一輪之後，成個課室靜晒。然後我先知奶嘢，我咁樣講Miss Wong出嘅卷，即係眨低佢咋喎！正當我想道歉時，企喺我面前嘅佢個人開始震緊。唔係嘛？嬲到震？定嬲到喊呀？然後我聽到——

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5LV90jWo9
11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOffclpQ7zi

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNRGOf8hn1

「嘻⋯⋯！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnciXSce1Jp

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbB5xx358e

吓？我冇聽錯掛？

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklDPJv5POE

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILppM0L0E4

「嘻⋯⋯嘻⋯⋯嘻！哈哈哈哈哈⋯⋯！！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGX9mN0qSSK

Miss Wong 佢⋯⋯佢⋯⋯

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1E7jn75hP

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NPoed7YwP

「哈哈⋯謝子匡⋯⋯我真係比你激死呀⋯⋯哈哈哈⋯⋯！！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWR26cM8VRK

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtDIbWZSX9

Miss Wong 佢終於笑啦！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwExwlEkyr

我第一次喺冰冷女王面上見到一個咁開心嘅笑容呀！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Rt4jn6DNd

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qpRTgbv9p

「哎吔⋯⋯笑死我咩！⋯⋯邊有人會咁諗嘢架！你低B架？哈哈⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuaSSY1CdB

「哈哈⋯⋯我呀⋯⋯都幾低B架！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qNl83U5aP

「哈⋯⋯哈⋯⋯你好低B呀！⋯⋯哈⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqw5MVVcmCi

「係⋯⋯囉！笑下未幾好！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3FbCx36ul

「嗯⋯⋯」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0XmS300kh
11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLIpkMwJz8

見到佢嘅笑顏⋯⋯一個難得喺冰冷女王面上見到嘅笑顏，令我內心都感動起嚟。特別係佢眼角慢慢流出嚟嘅淚珠，好晶凝通透。我唔知係佢笑到喊，定係不知不覺咁釋放咗啲唔開心嘅情緒。只知道，當呢個淚珠流經佢可愛動人嘅笑容時，令我內心又有一份衝動，嘴巴講咗句我自己都控制唔到嘅說話。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzr1jIHneZT

「總之我有方法啦！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvG5speNeUh

「咩話？」佢不解咁望住我

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO90T2LNkS5

「我⋯⋯我會喺你唔開心嘅時候——」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dTYY04qRe
11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9x74eN1uW

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZX1aZyvvUY

「我一定有方法令你開心！令你笑！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRGimyD50W

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PUZ0rwnOG
11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4fA9fpFYy

「我一定有方法！係一定！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiE2z6FezN0

我同佢沉默不語。我知道呢句說話係越界嘅說話。我唔理，我忍受唔到只能做Miss隻兵。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Mpw7MgZAs

我要追到佢！我一定要Miss Wong 做我女朋友！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eWhdechXZ

「想我笑，邊有咁易呀？」Miss Wong笑住講

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpS5zODps20

「嗱！你笑咗！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTruXbQzjC1

「唔計呀！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr77sanPmiv

「答案係F! 你地班人咪亂解釋我篇文呀！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27NDZtOq5O

「哈哈哈⋯⋯夠啦！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteN25Umt3m

「李白首《靜夜詩》係痾尿撚出嚟架！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLyRLEtunO

「哈哈⋯⋯低B仔！喂⋯⋯咪以為我聽唔到你講粗口呀！」

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZZY3RXuzF
11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQswikuykEU

如是者，我最後冇改正。同Miss Wong 開玩笑去到日落。

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmsUS0VJ4P

我決定咗——

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzZOP8Ilaw

時候一到，我一定會同Miss表白！

11Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLTKzVAl3y

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