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八月二十日，天氣是大雷雨警報335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2dCWSPMev
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8l49PX5Y0x
雖然身體已經累到快要拿不住筆，池水瞬間淹沒口鼻、強行灌入肺部的後遺症仍讓我經常覺得呼吸困難，即使四周明明隨處都是空氣，卻因為看不見也摸不著而在幻想裡窒息。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLYBqlr51v
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp18dQQWnSL
但我必須繼續寫；要把昨天跟今天的日記一次寫完。不然若是又等一場昏迷之後醒來去回憶這可怕的一切……我怕潛意識會再次想逃避自己跟弟弟從今天開始被監禁在這個家的事實。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqN82qAYJdC
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ418a41lPPo
必須紀錄才行……因為想要活下去。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLlwBbqLmI
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfebxrk9vCU
反正昨天已經無法挽回了。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJowFnmack
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJMnBHc3FT
¶¶¶335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSHmtRFYXr
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfXR4pE1Qw
……我是不是死了？335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡli4n4WVlBB
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfALnsRWrxT
才剛反射性這麼想著，視線朦朧、腦袋發脹、想咳嗽嘔吐卻連坐起身都沒辦法的各種不舒服就猛地襲捲而來，刷新存在感似的拚命告訴我還活著的事實。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0XB85EPQ4
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqZDaUtOtp
我費了不少力氣才看清自己當時躺在家裡客廳的沙發上，茶几旁電子鐘顯示為十九號的接近下午四點而已，從落水到恢復意識的時間比想像中還要短暫。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rShG9mZGg
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTIZAnSMWq
……哈哈，我好奇怪喔。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs68SZRsxXX
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOg4Suyg37
該說麻痺了還是早就有著不知不覺扭曲的心理準備……現在想來我對於剛從鬼門關繞過一回的想法冷靜到自己都覺得恐怖。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1VD4Q40Gx
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEUunvU5Vd
以前看動畫還有瀕死經驗分享的網路頻道，大部份都說那些時刻會看見人生跑馬燈、看見白光……或者去到從不曾見過的地方、已逝去的親友會出現在面前等等。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQOrvMm7Fh
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVrpHyGeHV
我倒是沒有看見奶奶或者跳樓自殺的朋友來接我，只有全身彷彿快要爆裂的痛楚、五官全部失常像被包裹進一個泡泡中；陷入耳鳴不斷放大的寂靜……以及一片漆黑剎那吞噬掉所有。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgq4zSBeXi
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLBX9ewOEL
就連害怕還有擔心弟弟的時間，都沒有。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5XYaKyddK
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGuyUX6eAH
「黎真？黎真？你醒來了？感覺還好嗎？」用托盤端著一杯溫水跟毛巾從廚房走出，媽媽在看見我睜開眼睛後就立刻來到沙發旁，臉上寫滿擔憂。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnliKiNlmTq
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJducAyZ9W
「怎麼這麼不小心呢？竟然會掉進池塘裡去……幸好秋英阿姨比較早回來聽到聲音趕過去才發現你溺水，差點把媽媽嚇死了！」聽到對話聲，秋英阿姨也從客房走來客廳，頭髮還有些濕漉感覺剛梳洗過，一邊安慰著媽媽總之只要我有醒來了就好。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCbDW9JpyO
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVCCVCKhJO
對於媽媽的關心，我沒有搖頭也沒有點頭。當下除了幾乎沒有力氣回應外，另一方面則是心裡已經不知道……她們到底誰才希望我活著、還是都希望我死掉最好。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBy29zlsZtu
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBAsYIWV9v
『喜歡我送你的生日禮物嗎？』335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPME33ed0iN
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhE0JyLj1h
落水前聽到的那句話跟夢魘一樣，直到現在都會時不時伴隨劇烈的耳鳴一起出現。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vy4C5aMYo
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkW4vmpeCa7
最後，我做了個在外人眼裡或許跟自殺沒有兩樣；但自己卻覺得可能是唯一生機的決定。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaAKQAvuK0
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqWiawiOLK
「媽……」聲音沙啞到感覺不屬於自己似的，但我仍用盡全力抬起右手食指，指向了站在媽媽身後的她。「是秋英阿姨……推我下水的。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmll1WvtTSO
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimmpZqVG9b
短短一句話，頓時凝結住了整個空氣。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOq6eD4VKo
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyEFHTxfEc
蟲洞裡流逝的時間或許都比那一刻還快些。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqhh5U1sSD
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8ksIoWQQz
「……秋英，黎真說的是——」還沒來得及將滿腹疑惑問出口，那個已知答案的問題就被一把猛然插進脖頸的長剪刀給永遠封死在與辣拌菜醃料相同顏色、自插入邊緣緩慢淌出的液體中。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlLf9QKjyW
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxdoQfeAvG
而我也就這樣靜靜躺在沙發上，透過模糊視線撐著，直到看見媽媽的背影於好幾次肢體扭曲、抓撓、乾咳的掙扎中圓睜驚恐的雙眼緩緩倒下。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWwFlQGRPw
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaJjW3uYSB
……好睏。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhkbv8sH10
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4dItgAjZX
……我要睡了。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhpSyBWvA4
