「撥號中……」70Please respect copyright.PENANACJLrRqSza8
楊悅盈眼都唔眨咁望住呢三個正常到不得了,甚至乎頗常見嘅中文字,居然又開始緊張。
——聖誕綜合症……係何晞賢家姐同佢講嘅一個現象:即係嗰種俾聖誕氣氛,搞到覺得自己都要搵個人陪嗰種情緒……
連自己都覺得自己有啲唔爭氣,楊悅盈慢慢將手指移去「收線」掣上面。
——響五秒都無人聽,我就收線。
望住電話Mon上面嗰個紅色嘅掣,心入面數咗五秒……
——再等多五秒……?
楊悅盈搖搖頭,真係覺得自己好柒;其實佢心知肚明,除非何晞賢接咗個Call,或者由得個Call自己響到斷,否則佢係唔會——
「喂?」
何晞賢個大頭忽然間出現喺個電話Mon度。
嚇到楊悅盈爭啲成部機跌咗落地下。
佢發現何晞賢個表情,都係一樣咁驚訝;其實唔好話佢,自己竟然會主動聯絡其他人,呢點連楊悅盈自己都覺得好意外。70Please respect copyright.PENANABmeUdB8yqb
「楊悅盈……?」終於,何晞賢細細聲問咗句。
——廢話……來電顯示都寫咗啦。70Please respect copyright.PENANA8pYTvvllf5
楊悅盈好想咁樣串佢一句,等個氣氛無咁僵。70Please respect copyright.PENANAjn4xu8LuEw
不過佢記得以前每次想講笑、講反話,何晞賢都只會信以為真,所以無將呢句嘢講出口;而且根本連佢自己都唔知可以講乜,無理由咁樣窒返嘗試打開話匣嘅何晞賢。70Please respect copyright.PENANAXn15MjI8xE
所以,佢唯有粒聲唔出咁點點頭,望住Mon入面嘅何晞賢。如果無認錯背景嘅話,嗰度應該係佢屋企嚟。楊悅盈大概仲記得佢間房嘅陳設,照呢個角度嚟睇,佢坐咗喺自己書枱度對住部電腦。70Please respect copyright.PENANAqNK9nwthKm
——呢條友一係就打緊機,一係就喺屋企Hea緊上網睇YouTube……70Please respect copyright.PENANArEgeNiD2gA
「好耐無見……」何晞賢又講咗一句廢話。70Please respect copyright.PENANA97ddMLIV3t
「有幾耐?半年咋嘛。」所以楊悅盈終於忍唔住搶口。70Please respect copyright.PENANAgGbFV9wUjD
聽到呢句,何晞賢Dead咗Air——楊悅盈咁講其實唔係怪佢,畢竟自己先係成日唔覆機、唔聽電話嗰個。70Please respect copyright.PENANAHcmVzIUnFb
況且,佢兩個又唔係咩關係,楊悅盈真心覺得半年唔算好耐。70Please respect copyright.PENANAAk3SqpwL5I
目光撇咗去Mon右上角、顯示住自己個樣嗰一小格度——自己心情有啲雜亂、甚至有少少興奮,但係個表情仍然睇唔出有任何變化。70Please respect copyright.PENANA0fuMaoIq4f
諗返起啲同事有話過佢好少表達自己情緒。70Please respect copyright.PENANAuZ1on9pv4g
佢有諗過可以點樣改變,始終對住其他人,係應該適當時候表達下情緒——尤其是不滿情緒——咁樣人哋先至會知你條底線喺邊度。70Please respect copyright.PENANAwoaxXDLWbP
但係楊悅盈唔知可以點做……點練習……?70Please respect copyright.PENANAU2TkVuIf8Q
而家反而有啲慶幸自己臉癱,應該可以令何晞賢睇唔出自己嘅內心躁動。70Please respect copyright.PENANAADGsr5gnKC
——有乜謂啫……楊悅盈忍唔住內心窒自己一句,明明係你主動Call人嘅……70Please respect copyright.PENANAmzDznfL2WU
「無出去玩?」楊悅盈決定負起搞到Dead Air嘅責任,講返一句
何晞賢聽到之後笑咗一笑。
「如果係我咁問嘅話,你一定會話——」佢停一停,開始模仿楊悅盈嗰把Monotone無情緒嘅聲:「『廢話,睇都睇到我喺屋企啦』。」
「你唔好去死?」楊悅盈忍唔住鬧咗一句。
被自己咒罵完嘅何晞賢咧嘴一笑。
而呢種久違嘅親切感,亦都喺楊悅盈臉上,勾勒出一個近乎係笑容嘅表情。70Please respect copyright.PENANABa969tpG8d
好彩何晞賢似乎留意唔到:佢拎起自己部電話,撻咗落床瞓喺度。70Please respect copyright.PENANACAEPEwkzoU
「平安夜仲出去玩……未逼過咩。」打咗個喊露之後,回答返楊悅盈頭先個問題:「不過家姐約咗啲人返嚟玩。」70Please respect copyright.PENANA0m07WtOQUG
Mon入面嘅何晞賢瞇起眼,哄近咗望住楊悅盈……
「你出咗街?邊度嚟?」70Please respect copyright.PENANA5LkBLpAFlY
楊悅盈轉咗用個後Cam,影住自己身處嘅呢條後巷。70Please respect copyright.PENANADsZmtqD8tZ
「某條後巷。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAoJz9R4JaHj
——因為人太多……想搵個地方匿埋。佢無補充呢個原因,反正何晞賢多數明點解。
「你最近點?」何晞賢又拋出一句廢話。
只不過句廢話令到楊悅盈開始思考——最近……自己一個返學、返Part Time,得閒就喺屋企睇書,趁人少嗰陣會出下街。好想搵人陪下,但係又唔敢主動;想搵下有咩興趣,又無乜動力……楊悅好想講晒呢啲諗法出嚟。70Please respect copyright.PENANAmcNrsx0YMc
取而代之,佢只係搖搖頭,半句嘢都無講出口。70Please respect copyright.PENANAFa89asFHAe
於是又Dead Air。70Please respect copyright.PENANAQFtQsAI9Xi
不過——70Please respect copyright.PENANAdDcOSMU2ZP
「你記唔記得乜嘢係『聖誕綜合症』?」佢知何晞賢唔係傻仔,俾少少暗示佢,應該就Get到?
果然,佢恍然大悟咁點點頭。
「記得,你病發呀?」然後好似挑釁佢咁笑住問。70Please respect copyright.PENANA8sKFWoV2po
「關你撚事?」楊悅盈衝口而出,無再刻意隱藏自己個笑容。70Please respect copyright.PENANAVxb7ooQfhK
「唔關我事你就唔會打俾我啦。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAvJPTkVeaSP
「得閒無嘢做先打……唔好諗得咁複雜。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAvVsrE3cRct
大家互講廢話……正常人「傾計」好似都係做呢啲嘢?楊悅盈以前同佢講無聊嘢嗰陣嘅感覺,忽然間湧返出嚟。70Please respect copyright.PENANAIQlx8gaZXR
同何晞賢究竟係咩關係、佢點樣睇自己,楊悅盈從來都無問清楚——佢甚至連自己點看待對方,都唔係太知。70Please respect copyright.PENANAz1ovo2o27P
如果一定要形容,楊悅盈會話何晞賢係個煩膠、又自作聰明嘅細佬。70Please respect copyright.PENANANZNWtwoPtV
咁講絕對唔係100%準確,但係至少楊悅盈覺得……楊悅盈知道,何晞賢同自己係同一種——70Please respect copyright.PENANAoaP3DFQXd2
何晞賢嗰邊忽然間傳嚟一下開門聲,緊接住係一陣有啲嘈嘅歡樂起哄。70Please respect copyright.PENANAFXeEWD4pSu
「喂。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAUX9LRedcxx
然後,一把楊悅盈唔認得嘅男人聲,打斷咗佢哋嘅對話。70Please respect copyright.PENANAkAfND5zAZz
「咩事?」何晞賢視線離開咗楊悅盈,估計係望住嗰個男人。70Please respect copyright.PENANAu4SyWmZvCQ
「外賣到,你家姐叫你出嚟食嘢。」70Please respect copyright.PENANALrWWJf1UyV
「你哋食先。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAjCh2QVE20Y
「溝緊女呀?」70Please respect copyright.PENANASq7GzJ6k5z
何晞賢面對這個問題,無承認,亦都無否認,只係將鏡頭轉咗去同自己對話嗰個男人度——70Please respect copyright.PENANAG4rXmzTuoZ
「我家姐男朋友。」然後向楊悅盈介紹。70Please respect copyright.PENANAruOEqeNcPg
個男人向楊悅盈揮揮手打招呼。70Please respect copyright.PENANAqza1QGBggQ
楊悅盈發呆咁望住佢,連形容佢係一個咩人都無乜心機;對方應該會覺得佢好無禮貌?70Please respect copyright.PENANANH2fFkRlDI
畫面回到何晞賢臉上。70Please respect copyright.PENANAr6HAT6No6D
「一陣出去睇戲,叫埋你女朋友一齊?」男人又問道。70Please respect copyright.PENANA2UJFyZboFG
「唔喇。」再一次,何晞賢Neither Confirmed Nor Denied,只係純粹拒絕咗對方邀請。70Please respect copyright.PENANAb3E8wA8UZk
——定係……佢所指嘅「女朋友」唔係我……?楊悅盈不能自已咁閃過呢個諗法,跟住好快就覺得……關我咩事啫……?70Please respect copyright.PENANABMznSTzw5i
終於,何晞賢嗰邊傳嚟一下閂門聲,嗰啲吵吵鬧鬧嘅人聲亦都變返細到幾乎聽唔到。70Please respect copyright.PENANAp3fH2a4rwW
「你家姐叫你出去食嘢。」見到何晞賢準備講嘢,楊悅盈劈頭就打斷咗佢。70Please respect copyright.PENANALQOwAbRCha
「其實佢啲Friend我大部份都唔熟……好撚尷……」何晞賢苦笑:「我寧願夜啲自己落街買嘢食。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAJ45Oy9wPxL
「打俾你唔係聽你呻。」楊悅盈嘗試擺出一副唔Care嘅表情:「我有嘢做,唔講住。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAoPRGYq9dp4
「你又話得閒——」70Please respect copyright.PENANAHieCxpV5tY
「唔得閒,我其實約咗人食飯。」楊悅盈閘斷咗佢句說話:「差唔多要過去。」70Please respect copyright.PENANASNUhv0pst7
「咩人?」何晞賢眉頭一揚,有啲緊張咁追問。70Please respect copyright.PENANAv37884LXgj
「返Part-time啲同事。」楊悅盈隨口講——現實係佢同啲同事放咗工之後,基本上就唔會再有任何交集。70Please respect copyright.PENANAN6FhfVwf44
「……男定女?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAzWgEYtKiCo
——關你撚事!?呢句嘢幾乎再一次衝口而出。70Please respect copyright.PENANAE7TL3kPOrM
「男嘅。」但係楊悅盈喺最後關頭,決定將呢個大話發揮到極致。
真係難以想像。
——我算唔算係扭計?楊悅盈一路都最睇唔起嗰啲成日鬧情緒嘅人,估唔到自己竟然會做啲類似嘅嘢。70Please respect copyright.PENANAArQJTpThse
何晞賢呆咗望住自己唔出聲,個樣有啲驚訝,有少少Hurt。70Please respect copyright.PENANAKJWiDJBslw
反正,佢好快就變返個笑容出嚟——雖然有少少勉強。70Please respect copyright.PENANAV4wUnVBKGJ
「好呀……咁……我哋遲啲再傾……?」佢放輕語氣問。70Please respect copyright.PENANANLMhDjOpFT
——遲啲即係幾時?楊悅盈覺得佢講嘢變到好小心翼翼。70Please respect copyright.PENANAejotg7iTRD
「嗯。」所以決定俾一個爽快得嚟有啲冷漠嘅答案佢。70Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7yAN2f3Ab
「聖誕快——」70Please respect copyright.PENANAmffGuasRQ4
何晞賢仲未講完嗰句無意義嘅祝福詞,楊悅盈就已經收咗線。70Please respect copyright.PENANAt2qqaRhGEM
何晞賢個樣喺電話Mon度消失咗,取而代之係Lock-screen個時間:「21:13」。70Please respect copyright.PENANA2PhmDsvjmm
楊悅盈估計阿哥啲Friend應該凌晨兩三點先會散,有啲返屋企有啲留低瞓,即係佢最好再過五六個鐘先返屋企。70Please respect copyright.PENANA4jBhB62bJ4
苦笑住袋返埋個電話,心諗究竟頭先點解要打俾何晞賢?70Please respect copyright.PENANAVH0lLIF6EY
再拎咗枝煙出嚟點著,用力吸咗一啖。70Please respect copyright.PENANAwuyZnmQ27E
煙霧經過口腔、穿過喉嚨,留低一陣乾澀嘅觸感,入咗個肺度。70Please respect copyright.PENANA7a6NhskDOQ
尼古丁好快滲咗入啲血度,一瞬間已經遍佈全身。70Please respect copyright.PENANAReFuXlyEDO
楊悅盈自問好少食煙,視乎感覺先間中真食一兩次。70Please respect copyright.PENANA2Qi2az4MJr
但係忽然間整咁大啖,佢覺得暈暈地,甚至乎有啲企唔穩。70Please respect copyright.PENANAWInh024t3V
牆邊擺住兩塊紙皮,相信係平時嚟呢度放煙Break啲人用嚟坐嘅;楊悅盈踢咗其中一塊出嚟坐上去。70Please respect copyright.PENANAJQkSw3XCly
然後,好似同自己鬥氣咁,又狠狠地吸咗一啖煙。
喉嚨乾到令佢忍唔住咳。70Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8m7XywcER
楊悅盈一直都以為……何晞賢同佢一樣,唔係好識Fit in,成日都係自己一個,無乜真正屬於自己嘅圈子或者世界。70Please respect copyright.PENANA6PUjmjsuIy
直到而家——直至頭先,楊悅盈先至醒返起,其實佢有家姐、有屋企人、有朋友,好似有一堆仍然會Care佢嘅人。70Please respect copyright.PENANAstrnMWj5Uu
所以,自己都係唔好一廂情願,亂咁將人哋定義為「同自己同一類人」。70Please respect copyright.PENANAiKKWwgywXS
因為根本唔係。70Please respect copyright.PENANAHo8andsqZd
望一望自己手上面枝煙,有種想再Chur一啖嘅猶豫——70Please respect copyright.PENANAopo7IcGHZY
不過,呢種半吊子嘅自毀行為,好似唔係咁適合自己。70Please respect copyright.PENANAfaAfDNMlA6
鬆開手指,枝煙跌落地,碌咗去一個水氹度;橙紅色嘅煙頭掂到啲水,即刻「嗞」一聲消滅殆盡。70Please respect copyright.PENANAZIJKPwjXue
楊悅盈呼咗一口氣,覺得有啲乏力。70Please respect copyright.PENANASp8gw3VCzF
戴返個Headset,開始播歌。70Please respect copyright.PENANAdLTB5dkkzU
挨住牆,攬住自己膝頭,望旁邊嗰道滿佈污漬嘅門,開始放空。70Please respect copyright.PENANAXK8oteznmP