我說：『老闆什麼時候加薪！』27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzXswzDo2E
－－摘錄自《坑坑企業201ｘ年傑出業務員》」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfnCdlTY3U
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6UHh5gYJ3
楔子27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2vrfjpdYJ
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「……感謝賜稿，很抱歉，大作未能留用，祈諒。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzxVGFwJbe
盼能繼續支持、愛護本刊。耑此敬祝27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxU7PAzReo
文安27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWGcUAQMNl
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xx上」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1UnlIvUjU
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一名少年漫不經心的走在夏日灰濛濛的城市街道上，到底是收到多少次這樣的信？……已經不知道要從何數起。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUd2uziWlIA
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離開家已經這麼久，卻……27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ighdCk1GD
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCBLRyNIqn
「喂喂！那邊一副要自殺那位同學請過來一下！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsct5DeiG9J
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誰啊？……27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNYbCJYMz4
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozJQur6ukW
「那邊那個！就叫你過來了！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ceAFPhLMr
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUQgl7tucu
小巷裡沒有別人，我停下腳步。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6OTKdvZmA
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gZJNB4cpO
我意興闌珊的轉過頭，卻沒看見半個人。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmkmVuL442
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大概是我聽錯？…還是被戲弄也說不定，日子夠倒楣了。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuvdnbgcRS
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我繼續往前走。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hSpH7Daxx
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「…那邊那個給我停下來啦－－－！！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe2tGqc8xY
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哇！好痛！27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5gYeTGUAG
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBJNmnWZwN
我被一個硬物砸到了腦袋，Ｘ的！我生氣了！27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPYJeG5mg0
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZZKM1AbzN
「他Ｘ的誰丟老子啊！」我怒吼著轉身去找兇手。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZje5ADSQGX
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzp9XqUdZG
但髒兮兮的小巷子裡靜悄悄的，若不是還隱約聽得見遠處馬路上嘈雜的聲響，又是大白天，我還真以為自己…遇到……27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jlRHtch2B
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD1IzFP18G
「呸呸呸！本大爺才不是什麼不乾淨的東西，我昨天才從乾洗店回來耶！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFskmz8fBp
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xo9q6Zhod
這次聲音很近，卻什麼都沒有看見，我整個人呆掉了。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARIcJdPQLb
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2Ez5jN6Na
「低下頭啦！笨蛋，你是眼睛有問題嗎？」褲子上傳來小小的拉力，我茫然的低下頭，看見一隻米白色，毛茸茸的拉布拉多娃娃在扯我的褲腳。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFkj3L7zvq
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gd4iyzvik
「快！交出你口袋裡的五十元金幣。」它說，小小的尾巴興奮的甩動。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaIumPJHcz
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMvG2mgIjM
「才不要，那是我的午餐錢耶！」我反射性的喊道，不過在看見他那黑色的眼珠子笑得咪成彎月狀時，我就知道我又不打自招了。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuIrxBPr2f
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1sEUZU52o
「嘿嘿…我的鼻子對於五十元金幣的氣味最靈敏了，果然沒錯！」它自豪的用後腿人立起來，不過他的腳實在很短，現在動作是在…手插腰？27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9ojFs94Xb
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfziY880jA
算了，我應該是在作白日夢，居然會在台Ｘ市遇到會說話的布偶，再不快點去打工搞不好又要被開除……27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BHCPAHR9w
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XJ3QFW240
我轉身就要走，卻又被這隻狗玩偶拉住。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lu037RS9J
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLPEdg4k6z
「……你到底想幹嘛？」蠢透了，我居然還在跟它說話！27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhTbeWkd8z
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSupsvKH1Ye
「咳咳！我說啊，看你一副失魂落魄的樣子，一定是被退稿了吧？」它兩手抱胸，一副跩樣。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWZv98xPdF
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZInz4w9pTw
「你怎麼會知道。」我馬上警戒起來。大概是被我搶早餐搶太多次的阿頁找了什麼精通機械的駭客來對付我，連我收到的信都知道！27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAwqpjlLct
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQicos7OGj
「嘿嘿…犬大爺我之前經手的業務遇到的每個客戶都是你這副衰樣！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueTMQ36cGV
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXtpZmrriG
「…真是夠了，連狗娃娃都欺負我……」我從沒這麼消沉過，等一下去找店長辭職吧…回去當啃老族被恥笑也算了，但是我抬起腳要跨步的時候，一台破舊的扭蛋機突然矗立在我面前。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQRl0SlTHg
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4nV1PUfx1
「你是想要我玩這個？」我冷冷的說，那隻狗娃娃得意的曲著短腿跳到扭蛋機上，說：「就是這個！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnw02ZHde9G
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSWw2OtRNO
「交出你的五十元金幣，保證你不會後悔。」滿是笑意與自信的聲音，我好像可以看見它毛茸茸的臉上有張笑得很開心的嘴。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLn0FjVy79i
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可是……27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplPecEXJRO
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「它貼著『故障』耶…」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCo6UsrgKk
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xuSw8Gtru
「欸欸！你是沒看過啊利波特嗎？」它不耐煩的揮著一隻短腿說：「還是你已經連碰運氣的勇氣都沒有了？」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgnQ3EjnaL
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5iEjMTImj
「……我投！！」不知道為什麼，它帶著輕蔑的語氣激起了我的怒火。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWcLrUGjM9
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOYg5Ripnm
不吃午餐算什麼！我昨天連早餐都只搶到半個三明治！27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTtn1LoAfp
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcCxxYczd3
我衝動的從口袋裡拿出我最後的五十元金幣，塞進投幣口，捏住扳手用力一轉－－27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrVyPWCcba
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吭啷。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡue9g91hWM7
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什麼都沒有。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0GJs03jNj
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「告非！還我的午餐費來啊啊啊啊－－－－！！」我最後一絲的自制力「啪」的斷掉，我氣得用力踹了一腳那台扭蛋機。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1CQNfN29A
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF1ZWvGEIz
結果可想而知，我遇到了這種怪事，那台扭蛋機只是晃了一下，我卻整個人飛往後飛了至少三公尺，換來了痛的好像裂掉的屁股和五根腳趾頭。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOQa67zZez
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyyeQDaoDk
「痛痛痛痛……！」我難受的閉著眼抱著腳縮成一團，怒吼：「臭狗！我一定要宰了你！」但四周完全安靜。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaf0yFvUH7v
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6FQnQAzfj
我睜開眼，那隻狗娃娃和扭蛋機都不見了！27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYtCq2JWgN
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9WzzhP3DQ
連一點蛛絲馬跡都沒有。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkK3GQyNYfD
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55HTVBZ2ri
「我…這是做夢嗎？」我伸手往口袋摸去，五十元金幣並不在。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpxG8zUc6T
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5K7u8pflC
「他爺爺的…這年頭的周公也缺錢花嗎！！」我怨恨的幾乎要哭出來。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx78Y8y8z4c
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倒楣。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNmA3jfBUu
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真夠倒楣！27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhU0DBZHkHD
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我看我真的去死一死好了，這種沒價值的人生…這種日子……27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjg7Yk0ssK
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這種日子過得好痛苦……27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65bJvlNdXo
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27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfr5vMLtP8
一陣冰冷的觸感從我的腳踝傳來。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07tjkWkF2h
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66ed0yG9p3
這次又是什麼？27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81zUfGBmLE
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fuoAQHujS
我勉強透過模糊的視線分辨著抓住我的白色的東西，白白的東西從人行道邊邊的排水孔的鐵柵裡伸出來，好像…是一隻人手？27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNAyP2T5ay
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStNTrfX6gT
「咿咿咿咿！放開我啊啊啊－－！」我發出尖叫用力的往後縮，但那隻手卻越抓越緊－－27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSu3AyB7LK
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiJhpSzXOn
「你是腦袋進水嗎！」一個哀怨的聲音尖叫著從裡面傳來：「過份的人類！人家第一次出『廠』就這麼狼狽，居然是在水溝裡面耶！我都沒尖叫你在尖叫什麼啦！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwazQyyQ6nY
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuXtn7iSPY
「可是你已經尖叫了啊！」我腦袋一片空白的喊回去。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2UmIuRO18
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXR1koDJ8N
「還不是因為你一直叫！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlutFV7sSy
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ44MViEllc
「那是因為你抓著我不放我當然會嚇到啊啊－－！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8qG8FvC7z
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「我不抓住你你一定會跑掉！」他生氣的道。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZq4kuduYV
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Su8bEFcfO
「我、我我保證我不會跑！」天殺的！這傢伙到底什麼來頭！27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OLlJfgEig
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O3mVcR1HZ
「你發誓？」那個聲音問。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhQfoRCIXi
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMe9bl2tqjK
「我發誓，對我的良心。」雖然我自己都不知道我有沒有。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdcOKUdM3I
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhVKxi1eUI
「讓我想想，我媽說你們人類都不太能信任。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDx2qCbmUDC
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeUPx3ASK2
「只要你會放開手就都好說。」畢竟也過了一會兒，我也比較鎮靜了些，至少那隻手的主人似乎沒有要傷害我的意思。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3U97xkubs
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxiVUZyID8
大概半分鐘，他說：「好啦！我等一下把『門』丟上去，你一定要給我接好。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxGGNhn0gg
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「沒問題。」我答。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeXCWWYt3L
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoETqWkXaLk
不過顯然他還是不放心，惡狠狠的補道：「要不然我就從你的馬桶鑽出來！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9wnxL2HW5
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwghFSKLuN
我吞了口口水，看著那隻手鬆開我的腳踝，然後一顆藍白色的扭蛋從鐵柵的隙縫中飛出來。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HEKZplm47
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGv5vvsBaB
我急忙撲過去，檢起了那顆扭蛋。幾乎就在撿起來，抬頭的同時，我看見了對面巷子口，一隻…肚子開了一個大洞的白色狗娃娃，正緊張的喊「別跑！快回來啊！」滿地爬的撿回扭蛋，塞進肚子裡的畫面。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpHPlG9zjA
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErhcNYBjMG
……原來是這樣子，姑且不論扭蛋機，難怪我剛才找不到它。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdYik5ztJk
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAYxzXqAAh
就在我有點恍然大悟的時候，手上的扭蛋裡傳出了一個悶悶的聲音：「喂！人類，你仔細聽好了，我是來自坑坑魔界的坑坑魔王一族的文蜻，叫我文蜻大人就可以了，今天起我會督促你乖乖填好你那些文坑，給我記清楚了！」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVsW1UHOms
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYD7fdlhXR
「你說啥？」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAPWSWStch
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aSToTueuH
我聽得一頭霧水，不過手上捧著的扭蛋突然自己打開了。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdy3WZo2eu
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKobFHUnmq3
一個個子嬌小黑色長髮，金色眼睛，穿著奇怪長袍，看不出男女的小孩子氣鼓鼓的盤坐在扭蛋裡面瞪著我。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRfcsFlSbq
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmFCm5extl
「報上名來！」他高傲的說。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqdQdzsMKA
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「呃…金稻水。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVEFUtuIVa
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「噗！」他笑了起來，我承認我的名字很…好笑。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOS7nC6nkI
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSByZgEkrZ
「阿金，你只須要明白一件事。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsrUW7st3i
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「什麼事？」我聽天由命。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcr02OIgmWC
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPwcoPJZ0G
「那就是，你沒有好好填坑滿足我，我會讓你活在整天被催文趕稿的修羅場裡。」他笑得很天真，不過有夠邪惡的。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UASMrErqA
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizv8cBKTGm
所以我花了五十元轉出了一個催文大隊長還是變態惡編輯？27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsTzH3qUkw
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsQTVAz6Gf
「要知道，我能不能順利通過程年禮『羽化』都要看你坑有沒有好好按時填好，內容太差我也不會放水的，一直到幫你登上完稿的巔峰前，我都不會離開你。」他認真的態度，不知道為什麼我竟有點感動。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtwwfIwkTr
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFh65c6Dv96
「我會加油的。」我忍不住擦了擦眼角。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDPnW1PVR3
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrRGwjBvKS
「這種反應才對嘛！不要看到本殿下像看到魔王怪物似的……」他打了個大大的呵欠，說：「我要先休息了，沒想到第一次到人界就要化成人形…你可要好好想想今天填坑的內容啊。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRqyvWjl8P
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNnL4LlD8F
說完，他闔上了扭蛋的蓋子。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQW6vq5Epyt
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE50C9YY01i
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZqSMivJH0
今天，我在台Ｘ市的巷子裡遇到了推銷扭蛋的狗布偶，花了五十元買了腳痛和擦傷，還有手上的這個自稱是什麼來自坑坑魔界的怪異生物，說要幫助我登上什麼巔峰。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzpCS60VrL
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl59QhLT7kB
但是這種怪事說出去了誰會相信呢？27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEz5mMNSxq
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79mG4obkwV
扭蛋傳來輕響：「…不准給我偷懶啊！阿金。」27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6YlidCUJJ
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDy3WJpAkRi
呵！真是睡意濃厚的聲音。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9SO7OqsxD
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RQ8ouRS8K
說不定，我的五十元金幣真的沒白花。27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYfpLMgy0d
27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0mR1ztuAi
（楔子完）ns216.73.216.76da2
