第1章 勇者是最頂尖的男公關57Please respect copyright.PENANAzoD0m3mcoA
57Please respect copyright.PENANAWIyHK3dbTC
秋天的景象越來越明顯了。剛守孝完畢,接管魔法魔法店只有半個月的我,此刻才發現經營店鋪比我想像中來得更為講究。57Please respect copyright.PENANAb9lvPS5KK6
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除了調製魔法道具、招待客人和收錢,還要陳列商品、訂貨、處理訂單、管理貨倉及解決各種零碎事務,煩心的事多不勝數。57Please respect copyright.PENANA80fx0TLaT5
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甚至乎,每個季節也有不同的任務。57Please respect copyright.PENANApsFEfSuLex
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西原城盛種紅楓樹,幾乎家家戶戶都種了一棵。到了秋天,城內的每條大路、小徑、街角,便會被五角型的楓葉所包裹著,地面鋪滿了紅鱗,連屋頂都被片片紅葉點綴成火燒似的赤,不斷往外散開。57Please respect copyright.PENANAEkB8b5JMpV
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「於金盤中盛放的火楓」,是對西原城的美譽。57Please respect copyright.PENANAtKjW6Q7ILC
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風吹過,火花飄舞人間,詩情畫意。吟遊詩人喜歡坐在長椅上放聲歌頌,旅客也慕名而來,一賞城內秋色。57Please respect copyright.PENANAu6GdWbrEO4
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然而美歸美,如何處理滿地殘葉又是大哉問。現在東區商店街富華魔法店的老闆則拚命宣傳他的新商品:57Please respect copyright.PENANAzxJrXNLJFh
57Please respect copyright.PENANAo2ywkuOrUk
「討厭早午晚掃葉子嗎?只要在店外擺好這個吸葉箱,保證你不費一分力氣就能清出一條康莊大道!現在買一件,第二件半價!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAJCVHMOf237
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「你騙肖喔?各位街坊聽我說,昨天我按照指示把魔石放進去,結果這東西一啟動就把我整條袍子都吸進去,全爛了!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAwDQi4SpZk5
57Please respect copyright.PENANA1liMZu7hv3
「客人!那肯定是你使用不當!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAQq9c378v6B
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「我沒胡謅!要不然我們去找次代勇者大人奧特.卡巴拉來評評道理!次代勇者大人不是一出世就學魔法嗎?他定會揭破你這奸商的大陰謀!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAKEkgcUNN80
57Please respect copyright.PENANAweD0VflR5G
我匆忙把整塊三明治塞進口裡,退出觀眾群。現在的人是怎搞的,為什麼不找商品監管會社?57Please respect copyright.PENANAKXzU6cbikH
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「……哎呀,我好像看見勇者在圍觀,不過剛跑掉了……你們要追上去嗎?」57Please respect copyright.PENANAyvyJBMrSqJ
57Please respect copyright.PENANAgvtJW86MAa
我好不容易把嘴裡的東西吞下肚,跑小路返回魔法魔法店。57Please respect copyright.PENANALRuLIdU55h
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魔法魔法店是爺爺遺留給我的產業,建於西區不特別繁華的商店地帶。以往由於古舊邪詭的色彩與佈置,以及爺爺調製出來的商品的強烈不實用性及不安全性,所以生意冷淡。現在由我全權掌管,門面重新裝修,批入正常的貨品,情況已大幅改善。57Please respect copyright.PENANAFlp7rJODNg
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雖然,半個月所賺還是不夠支付爺爺的安葬費。57Please respect copyright.PENANATpQbkQPKZz
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我喝了杯水,然後拿著掃帚走出店外,葉子多得連角落的盆栽都掩沒了。57Please respect copyright.PENANA2S0syoXSDk
57Please respect copyright.PENANAg3qokPcW9M
掃地算是最輕鬆的工作,不消片刻已把門前的葉子全掃成一堆。呼,距離營業時間尚餘十五分鐘,待會兒再整理貨架,還有時間泡茶。57Please respect copyright.PENANASkg1GprP5f
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「哦哦!這裡就是魔法魔法店啊!終於到了!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAYl8g8Tm8BS
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這時,一隻黑色的長靴踢跨了我的楓葉堆,紅色的葉子如亂雨般倒轉灑上天空,沙沙亂響。兩秒後,一條依附在葉子上的毛蟲從天空掉到我腳尖上。57Please respect copyright.PENANA9cE37qveYz
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該死的,誰走路沒長眼?57Please respect copyright.PENANAodNgdWLoNH
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我抬頭,眼前是一名青年,有著頗為罕見的墨黑色頭髮和眼瞳,臉部有微妙的孩童式圓潤,飛揚拔扈的眉毛輕易地讓人聯想到「囂張」、「惡霸」等字眼,偏偏他卻身穿白色的祭司拖地長袍,怪裡怪氣的。57Please respect copyright.PENANAi2esE1dqyh
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是邪教祭司嗎?那還是小心點為妙。57Please respect copyright.PENANAkOxPUuTp8i
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我摸著掃帚,先露個抱歉的微笑:「大哥哥不好意思,你可以讓一條路嗎?」57Please respect copyright.PENANAjvuJRvVjEY
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對方這才發現我的存在,一臉大爺地把黑色眼珠瞄向下方:「喔!你是這家『魔法魔法店』的小夥計吧?你家店長呢?在店裡嗎?」57Please respect copyright.PENANApfgtjLfEyp
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……糟糕,被徹底路人化了。57Please respect copyright.PENANAlNZrbz4h6j
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「我就是店長。請問──」57Please respect copyright.PENANAP1Y55zmpZL
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「臭小子你別裝!照照鏡子,你哪裡像勇者奧特呢?嘛,算了!跟你多講也是浪費時間。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAla2Sp8FAyF
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他自顧自地說完,便完全無視守在門前的我及掛在門前的營業時間牌,直接衝到店裡,其速度之快使得我的披風往上飄了飄。57Please respect copyright.PENANAIAZ8HFVA7N
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又來一個慕勇者之名而來的非.顧客嗎?真是夠了。57Please respect copyright.PENANA6cWaETeCR2
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我馬上跟前,指著剛躲到櫃臺裡疑似想偷錢的祭司袍男子說:「……喂喂、先生,等一下!本店尚未開門,你這樣是擅闖私人物業!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAmQXDVKktAG
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「吵死了,我的勇者怎麼會雇用你這種吱吱喳喳的店員呀?」57Please respect copyright.PENANANytFcXqNPY
57Please respect copyright.PENANAGFAKeURxwb
他從櫃臺下鑽出黑色的頭顱,手裡還順手牽起了我藏在櫃臺裡的茶杯,勾著杯耳的兩指優雅地提起,輕啜了一口,接著很自然地皺眉:「都冷了?」57Please respect copyright.PENANA399aJeZ3wq
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「那是昨晚的。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAa8aag9OIml
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「呸呸呸!你這種爛店員怎麼連最基本的泡茶都沒做好?」57Please respect copyright.PENANAlJHvo0ctbi
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入店搶掠者拋開茶杯,大刺刺地在店裡轉來轉去,東張西望:「奇怪……奧特不在嗎?果然堂堂的次代勇者不會幹這種市儈商人的工作啊。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAftDRNYKk6e
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我叫奧特.卡巴拉。我愛當市儈商人。我對勇者這種沒有生產力的職業沒有興趣。不行嗎?57Please respect copyright.PENANAtXf0iISovo
57Please respect copyright.PENANAVaWjwzMh8A
這青年丁點兒也不像祭司,但從他口氣中的超大架子,以及他剛才喝茶的姿勢,彷彿是個上流貴族或官僚。直接趕走他並不恰當,結果我只能跟著他的拖地白袍不斷走動。57Please respect copyright.PENANAsANsEKa3mL
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「勇者的店子怎麼好像什麼都沒有?你有在做事嗎?」57Please respect copyright.PENANAiQc4Va6Iej
57Please respect copyright.PENANAWANiwC1FYS
他端起一條掛在牆上的胸圍。這是爺爺研究出來,用以縮小女性胸部的魔法彈性胸罩,擺了幾年都沒人買。57Please respect copyright.PENANAW7JU31GZfb
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「貨架很空是由於前幾天城內的傳送門壞了,貨品和材料沒能運送過來。現在城內多數店鋪都出現貨物短缺潮,不止本店。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAVarpTHsprg
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「喔!我知道,城門公告板有寫。」他升起一抹得意的笑,輕巧地把胸圍丟到我胸前,「因為全世界都想一睹勇者的風采,所以全都跑過來把傳送門塞爆。不過勇者的店子應該有專用的傳送門啊?」57Please respect copyright.PENANA4PUr6feOSL
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「沒有,你想太多。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAnzrlfT4aOs
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「那就是勇者的背後有皇室的經濟支援啊。」57Please respect copyright.PENANA7W0yqp5udJ
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「你到底當勇者是什麼!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAI5mt9qNoHT
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他停下腳尖,終於收斂了傲慢的氣息,用無比認真的表情與我正視。我這才發現,白晢得似雪的臉配上純黑色的短髮,黑白分明的眼白與眼瞳,竟勾劃出異常好看的對比。57Please respect copyright.PENANA5sKDRHB3Vu
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他仍不像神聖的祭司。但就某種意義來說,他像雪王子,像妖精,像──57Please respect copyright.PENANAbCf9Y0ZA8Q
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「勇者啊,當然是身材高大、肌肉結實、容貌英俊瀟灑、風度翩翩、穿著一身貴麗白衣、笑一笑足以迷醉眾生、背上還有足以滅絕所有強敵的神劍、一揮劍足以讓任何人臣服。」57Please respect copyright.PENANA5rkUUG4aNh
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像瘋子。這人就像個剛從康復院中逃跑出來,穿著白衫的瘋子。此刻他痴呆的笑容讓人不寒而慄。57Please respect copyright.PENANAR6Fzsq3B9D
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他根本不是要找勇者,而是要找男公關吧?57Please respect copyright.PENANAoYCGfieUFR
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「這跟男公關有什麼分別?」57Please respect copyright.PENANAnL5I80cPHm
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「哎呀?你這個白痴,笨蛋,蠢貨。勇者怎麼可以跟街邊那些男公關相提並論?」57Please respect copyright.PENANAo4hXJGIoQg
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他雙手叉腰,理所當然地說:「勇者本身就是最頂級的男公關。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAjvikL4Jrrj
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原來如此。57Please respect copyright.PENANATvbnYNLRDf
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這人絕對是腦子出水。57Please respect copyright.PENANAVodMOBrslH
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「如果你要找傳說中那種英俊瀟灑、身材健碩、笑一笑足以迷醉眾生的勇者,你可以試著去這座城東南區一間叫做Over-All的酒吧,我聽鄰居說,那裡的男公關很一流,雖然我不知道那是不是最頂級的。」說完,我好心地為那瘋子指向東南方的窗戶。57Please respect copyright.PENANAfZmH3zBb84
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瘋子似乎理解不到我的語言,兩隻烏黑色的大眼十分呆滯。57Please respect copyright.PENANAJigx3Xcudm
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「你……你去死吧!誰要找男公關啊啊啊──!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAkEd5mP9lob
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清脆的「啪」的一聲響起了,只見他的右掌用力拍到本店的牆壁上,聽上去就知道痛了,更不用形容他立即捲起下唇忍住尖叫的可憐模樣。他掐緊拳頭,用亮汪汪似湖泊的眼睛說話:「你快告訴我奧特.卡巴拉在哪裡!否則我要燒了你這店!」57Please respect copyright.PENANA6cQJFyNewi
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說罷,他的手腕轉了半個圈,空氣間竟迅速凝聚了個火球來。真是夠了,和平社會允許他幹這種事嗎?57Please respect copyright.PENANAfDKthgE9Ep
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「先生,這樣是觸犯了恐嚇罪……」唉,還能怎樣?屈服在武力下的我,只好乖乖拿出身份證:「如果你堅持要找奧特.卡巴拉,這裡有一個。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAdNO3tZStBa
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黑髮男子伸長脖子看了一眼,然後狠狠地將身份證撥到地上,高聲尖叫:「你這混蛋嘍囉!連身份證都偽造!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAdA8GCf64sM
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他哼哼兩聲,火球竟已變成一個成年人的頭那麼大。57Please respect copyright.PENANABHaG3BacmG
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該死的,他好像是超高階的魔法師,竟然不用唸咒,甚至不需要集中精神的時間?57Please respect copyright.PENANAk8NP1ktO94
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一眨眼,火球變得更巨大,直徑差不多是走道的寬度。紅光覆蓋了天花板的兩排白色燈管,殘影交織,熔岩似的火舌在溢流,好像快噴到我的木頭貨架……這樣下去可不行!57Please respect copyright.PENANACaYiBS8Nfm
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「抱歉,先生,店內嚴禁使用魔法!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAE9ya7hUfrl
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我揪起衫袖,伸出雙手,掌心從火球的頂部拍下去,順勢拍到他麗紅色的手上。57Please respect copyright.PENANADm1O3VZEOq
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呼,火球消失了,連半點煙霧都沒有。57Please respect copyright.PENANAL87a9qfg3e
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「耶……你你你!」57Please respect copyright.PENANA9E0IxRaKxX
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祭司袍男人倏地縮開,跌坐到我的促銷架子旁,像是碰到骯髒東西般猛地搓手。發勁地盯住右手一會兒,他忽然咬牙切齒地把厲目撇過來。57Please respect copyright.PENANAdYGxDHp45b
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「你、你對我做了什麼!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAcpRT8Vvabd
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「什麼做了什麼?」57Please respect copyright.PENANA5gD4Z8cZi9
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「你!你用邪術!」57Please respect copyright.PENANATOsx8DnsOu
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「邪術?先生,我只是滅火而已……」57Please respect copyright.PENANA9kVgVx2rcj
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「用邪術滅火?你行!你、你、你!……我、我、我……哼!好呀,奧特.卡巴拉,我、我記住你了!」57Please respect copyright.PENANAxUvrcgoniW
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不知道他在想什麼,總之這個大麻煩像是受到天大的委屈,用想哭的臉彎低了腰,飛奔出我的魔法店。呼,謝天謝地。57Please respect copyright.PENANAvmLbQiW2mf
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不過,將我的抗魔體質稱為「邪術」嗎?總覺得有點緬懷啊。57Please respect copyright.PENANA1vDCG7hiRP
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黑髮黑眼的人?想起來,這真是相當少見。57Please respect copyright.PENANAFf3Dw7Yby5
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嗯,真令人不得不在意……57Please respect copyright.PENANAbipd0pBUYN
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唉,算了,再怎麼幻想也是無聊。我把魔法胸圍掛回原位,跑回店外把葉子再掃了一遍,專心開始今天的工作。ns216.73.216.238da2