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又一個人要我注意安全，但是過新年還會出什麼亂子？31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA75ZHqxlx
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回到家，還沒進去就看到七、八拿網子在庭園亂轉，然後轉到一半，腳被石子絆倒，網子不小心往打睏的地基主爺爺身上招呼去了。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOePaU9lkz
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頓時，哀鴻遍野。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcggshiITn
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「七、八你們在幹嘛？」中午一回家就看到他們在家裡搞笑，「別跟我說你們忘記吃藥了。」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzowleKWSF
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「什、什麼，我們要吃什麼藥？」被染上一層泥土的七、八爬了起來，不太能理解我的玩笑話。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCXL2RnVW0
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「當然是不要鬧事的藥啊。」穿過中庭，我看著被網子纏住的可憐地基主，便幫祂把網子跟纏成一團的髮絲分開，然後從箱子裡面拿出線香，拜了一下後就直接走進家裡。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGtTdbgooT
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喀。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpayF3BRrGb
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門一關，就聽到門外發出慘嚎聲。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9g8s8gQCf
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「啊啊啊！！一一別把我們當空氣，也別把我們鎖在外面啊啊啊！！」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDs9FelX6f
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活該，誰叫你們一早（？）就在發瘋，所以你們就留在外面冷靜冷靜吧。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxTsaWWxrh
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就在門板砰砰的用力敲著時，走廊忽然發出咚咚的跑步聲，下一秒就見到老媽穿著小可愛跟短褲直接衝過來。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROfIzTbTOA
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看到就連腳也沒穿襪子、拖鞋，一副夏季打扮的笨老媽，在她兩手往前一伸作勢要抱住我的時候，我早先她一步脫下外套直接往她臉上甩！31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWKDz4NfJ6
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同時，我在她身上聞到了酒味。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHrfZ4wRxO
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不會吧，才剛回到家就給我喝酒？31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycoPYjBcfH
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而且現在才中午耶。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRECiMrDLH
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「一一小親親，你這麼討厭媽媽嗎？」酒醉的老媽跪在地上，眼框充滿著淚花，楚楚可憐的樣子就像是悲情女主角，甚至還故意把綁成大馬尾的金髮散下來，那可憐指數要是給外人看，十個有九個人會立刻衝上去安慰她。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoew8ka8Imx
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可是，我是她兒子，才不會被她這點小技倆耍得團團轉。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZmAvtYkK0
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「媽，我不討厭妳，只怕妳會感冒。」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhemAbPGb4R
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一個大冬天的穿這麼少能看嗎？31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6rk4Jm0V1
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「你老媽沒這麼脆弱，被這點小寒冷給擊敗。」甩著金髮，老媽硬氣的說完後就打了個大大的噴嚏。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VDTmHDLQy
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鼻子上還掛著兩條鼻涕。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsk1JIf22C
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「妳看吧！就說會感冒的！」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDjr4egfWz
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我連忙從包包裡抓出衛生紙，趕在老媽把我的外套當擦鼻涕的衛生紙時壓在她的臉上。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAbtPRabTN
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「嗚……小親親你果然對媽媽最好了。」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31BFio0kFR
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將衛生紙包成雲吞後，老媽頂著紅通通的鼻子飛撲要抱我，這次我也不掙扎乖乖給她當充電用具。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZ5sUAWE2O
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「工作忙完啦。」摸著老媽有點油膩的金髮，我思考著等等是不是要直接把這個懶惰的老媽綁一綁丟進浴缸裡面。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6BBj9LdoN
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「對呀，小親親還有衛生紙嗎？」老媽的鼻音還很重，我就直接丟給她一小包，等到她又把幾個「雲吞」丟到地上後，她喀喀的笑說：「一一，你猜媽媽我工作的時候遇到誰了？」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbdh8VebSp
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「連君？」連想也不用想，這是老媽每次回來都會抱怨的工作同仁，不過與其說是夥伴，還不如說是死纏爛打的愛慕者。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zkXFPg1s6
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老媽接的案子裡絕對都會看到連君，因為他也是模特兒，而且還算是滿有名的哪種。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzb9xLDxISQ
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但對老媽來說，也是最煩的那種人。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoEm8jxJME
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「對對，就是君君。」哼了一下，老媽一手勾著我，一手拿著鋼瓶，她一口咬掉瓶塞，瓶子打開只聞到濃濃酒味，她咕嚕嚕的喝完後就跟我抱怨：「君君那個混蛋，要他幫點忙就給老子找一堆藉口拒絕，那個膽小鬼！」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6hDYpIWiq
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「媽妳要連君幫什麼忙啊，妳該不會又惹了什麼麻煩了吧？」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTyAs5kSoC
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我記得連君是不會拒絕老媽的要求啊，怎麼突然變成老媽口中的膽小鬼了？31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgUpe3CLdi
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「啊……小親親你們上次不是遇到修羅，我只是想……」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50uHWe7tbW
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老媽話還沒說完，就看到一個平底鍋朝老媽的頭上打去。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAeNHM8EXH
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「鏘」一聲，林陸祿用低八度的寒音說：「媽，妳的酒醒了沒？」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfld5a2QRmG
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「嗚，醒了啦。」老媽捧著被焦黑鍋底染上一層黑炭的金髮：「六六真過份！媽媽這麼辛苦賺錢回家，居然被無良的六六用鍋子打，真是個不肖子，小心我打電話到家暴專線喔。」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkCR1diCnh
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哐！31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2nlnZkAVc
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「還沒醒啊。」林陸祿又用鍋子敲老媽的後腦，但這次比較輕，「媽，如果妳不發酒瘋，我還不會揍妳。」然後他比著二樓，「給我去沖點涼清洗一下，回來在告訴我該不該打妳！」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICbkCV9TUQ
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一家之主模式啟動，見到冒火的大魔王，老媽只能含淚勾著我，「好嘛……小親親要陪媽媽洗澡嗎？」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Mtk40HPMZ
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「不用。」我甩掉老媽的手，然後做出跟林陸祿一樣的動作，比著樓上，「媽，妳是要我把妳綁起來丟進浴缸，還是自己去？」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHh6n3W1zoB
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「討厭。」老媽對我們扮個鬼臉吐舌頭後，就跑到樓上去了。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOabxG2M2S
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「……小六。」看著完全沒有耍性子，直接跑掉的老媽，我低頭看著只有我胸口高的林陸祿，「今天的老媽好像很好說話欸。」感覺超可疑的耶。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmyVo4nHf6
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平常的老媽根本就是超難溝通的人，一件事情絕對會盧很久，直到酸完林陸祿、調戲完我之後，她才會心滿意足去做自己的事情。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzxVt0uK7O
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老媽，就是這樣的一個人。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8xyShPKmO
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所以，這麼聽話，絕對有鬼。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96RRjYRXrO
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才剛想完，樓上忽然發出乒乓聲響，鬼哭聲從二樓傳了下來，就連我的皮膚也浮起了一層寒意。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybtKzh5XO2
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「混蛋！又開鬼門，今天鬼門是想要開幾次啊！」林陸祿丟下平底鍋，將我推到門邊，門一打開，雙胞胎衝進來的時候，我順勢被推了出去。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOzY93WWHL
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「小二，看好一一。」31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeJc2H3cHQ
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林陸祿關上門，頓時屋裡屋外陰風陣陣，天空還自動結成一團團的黑色烏雲，下起大雨來了。31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22BKWzg70X
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