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又一個人要我注意安全，但是過新年還會出什麼亂子？35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU5VsFTV4R
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KZTVWDBc6
回到家，還沒進去就看到七、八拿網子在庭園亂轉，然後轉到一半，腳被石子絆倒，網子不小心往打睏的地基主爺爺身上招呼去了。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1DpHpRNAn
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頓時，哀鴻遍野。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoNxS1Nvzh
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlqRwWbbrI
「七、八你們在幹嘛？」中午一回家就看到他們在家裡搞笑，「別跟我說你們忘記吃藥了。」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAaRHV4Vzh
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBUAOsvcJj
「什、什麼，我們要吃什麼藥？」被染上一層泥土的七、八爬了起來，不太能理解我的玩笑話。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSl6n7OvC01
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlRJxSVUlX
「當然是不要鬧事的藥啊。」穿過中庭，我看著被網子纏住的可憐地基主，便幫祂把網子跟纏成一團的髮絲分開，然後從箱子裡面拿出線香，拜了一下後就直接走進家裡。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyfYo5poH8
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPE0f02zut
喀。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zr75tlnEP
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRFkRxC1I1
門一關，就聽到門外發出慘嚎聲。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqynGIzH50Z
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBFOfAFFsR
「啊啊啊！！一一別把我們當空氣，也別把我們鎖在外面啊啊啊！！」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjnDIP3Uv0
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3U7GuvHMHD
活該，誰叫你們一早（？）就在發瘋，所以你們就留在外面冷靜冷靜吧。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67kUufyl2M
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS3QGmVxYV
就在門板砰砰的用力敲著時，走廊忽然發出咚咚的跑步聲，下一秒就見到老媽穿著小可愛跟短褲直接衝過來。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rWOs9wlCx
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSaxKqQ2ns
看到就連腳也沒穿襪子、拖鞋，一副夏季打扮的笨老媽，在她兩手往前一伸作勢要抱住我的時候，我早先她一步脫下外套直接往她臉上甩！35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMXP28BUYM
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSKykgEViS
同時，我在她身上聞到了酒味。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJS7DJ0Nsp
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lQiCPO44c
不會吧，才剛回到家就給我喝酒？35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHCE11ksnK
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而且現在才中午耶。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMwyJNAk4f
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoNnnlm4I9
「一一小親親，你這麼討厭媽媽嗎？」酒醉的老媽跪在地上，眼框充滿著淚花，楚楚可憐的樣子就像是悲情女主角，甚至還故意把綁成大馬尾的金髮散下來，那可憐指數要是給外人看，十個有九個人會立刻衝上去安慰她。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8Issi9nvL
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbw7xpYWi9
可是，我是她兒子，才不會被她這點小技倆耍得團團轉。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHM6VIu35B6
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdFkxek5xj
「媽，我不討厭妳，只怕妳會感冒。」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkAk6CNpTV
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MQDu3JzMV
一個大冬天的穿這麼少能看嗎？35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0470S8mcKZ
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAEBrb4Em1
「你老媽沒這麼脆弱，被這點小寒冷給擊敗。」甩著金髮，老媽硬氣的說完後就打了個大大的噴嚏。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiGCamxsdt
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpEkmfdGqt
鼻子上還掛著兩條鼻涕。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ21NpAH9vz
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhuFOYxlsc
「妳看吧！就說會感冒的！」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIsiGUjx8l
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97Zb32qrcO
我連忙從包包裡抓出衛生紙，趕在老媽把我的外套當擦鼻涕的衛生紙時壓在她的臉上。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckVLz8WCso
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡie08R0Gvlv
「嗚……小親親你果然對媽媽最好了。」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpJ2abPBCO
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbBne7NMot
將衛生紙包成雲吞後，老媽頂著紅通通的鼻子飛撲要抱我，這次我也不掙扎乖乖給她當充電用具。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4QuPNfmIY
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnosqLiXsu
「工作忙完啦。」摸著老媽有點油膩的金髮，我思考著等等是不是要直接把這個懶惰的老媽綁一綁丟進浴缸裡面。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAR6fKcPLu
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWSI5GSNuG
「對呀，小親親還有衛生紙嗎？」老媽的鼻音還很重，我就直接丟給她一小包，等到她又把幾個「雲吞」丟到地上後，她喀喀的笑說：「一一，你猜媽媽我工作的時候遇到誰了？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0yclOaCoM
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbvRAysmY7
「連君？」連想也不用想，這是老媽每次回來都會抱怨的工作同仁，不過與其說是夥伴，還不如說是死纏爛打的愛慕者。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSJjnbpYvw
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8HWbrCCvK
老媽接的案子裡絕對都會看到連君，因為他也是模特兒，而且還算是滿有名的哪種。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLyQc0Pbwg
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbMCMr5r11
但對老媽來說，也是最煩的那種人。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTDNZHfXiK
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH0oDUM5xm
「對對，就是君君。」哼了一下，老媽一手勾著我，一手拿著鋼瓶，她一口咬掉瓶塞，瓶子打開只聞到濃濃酒味，她咕嚕嚕的喝完後就跟我抱怨：「君君那個混蛋，要他幫點忙就給老子找一堆藉口拒絕，那個膽小鬼！」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9LrdBc6Oq
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmOckSEwBk
「媽妳要連君幫什麼忙啊，妳該不會又惹了什麼麻煩了吧？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwoQ845iTK
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9bWP9d76e
我記得連君是不會拒絕老媽的要求啊，怎麼突然變成老媽口中的膽小鬼了？35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SDEDwz7jQ
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTxwlrfCwT
「啊……小親親你們上次不是遇到修羅，我只是想……」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4WqHG4wWf
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxpntVcsAs
老媽話還沒說完，就看到一個平底鍋朝老媽的頭上打去。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXDYVdXOhe
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanjhCoS1DM
「鏘」一聲，林陸祿用低八度的寒音說：「媽，妳的酒醒了沒？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrxT06D45f
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLGf1NXIR4
「嗚，醒了啦。」老媽捧著被焦黑鍋底染上一層黑炭的金髮：「六六真過份！媽媽這麼辛苦賺錢回家，居然被無良的六六用鍋子打，真是個不肖子，小心我打電話到家暴專線喔。」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCEcM8PZBC
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsTlZj3PfB
哐！35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7P0j9MIia4
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGi6xPtX622
「還沒醒啊。」林陸祿又用鍋子敲老媽的後腦，但這次比較輕，「媽，如果妳不發酒瘋，我還不會揍妳。」然後他比著二樓，「給我去沖點涼清洗一下，回來在告訴我該不該打妳！」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2gT5mL4Zk
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TEaDPXx7E
一家之主模式啟動，見到冒火的大魔王，老媽只能含淚勾著我，「好嘛……小親親要陪媽媽洗澡嗎？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEHCIXBIQ6
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MJmnRAW0J
「不用。」我甩掉老媽的手，然後做出跟林陸祿一樣的動作，比著樓上，「媽，妳是要我把妳綁起來丟進浴缸，還是自己去？」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCk5wVgzxFD
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0EIIipA9q
「討厭。」老媽對我們扮個鬼臉吐舌頭後，就跑到樓上去了。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3CiVPg6kP
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQAFT7Ly82
「……小六。」看著完全沒有耍性子，直接跑掉的老媽，我低頭看著只有我胸口高的林陸祿，「今天的老媽好像很好說話欸。」感覺超可疑的耶。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uqvEqxjWq
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJZC2f3aRJ
平常的老媽根本就是超難溝通的人，一件事情絕對會盧很久，直到酸完林陸祿、調戲完我之後，她才會心滿意足去做自己的事情。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtM5QrKYq6
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0afSUCRkQZ
老媽，就是這樣的一個人。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdzA68yhLc
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhw6h3XcIx
所以，這麼聽話，絕對有鬼。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYjh7ROlIt
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyDOYfM3dj
才剛想完，樓上忽然發出乒乓聲響，鬼哭聲從二樓傳了下來，就連我的皮膚也浮起了一層寒意。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzujJvFtlaI
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1cWWi0csP
「混蛋！又開鬼門，今天鬼門是想要開幾次啊！」林陸祿丟下平底鍋，將我推到門邊，門一打開，雙胞胎衝進來的時候，我順勢被推了出去。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnOkKbJ0Mx
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWPRatzlu1
「小二，看好一一。」35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzzEJfweDo
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3o9qdt5Zu
林陸祿關上門，頓時屋裡屋外陰風陣陣，天空還自動結成一團團的黑色烏雲，下起大雨來了。35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw77Dp9VUgD
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