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又一個人要我注意安全，但是過新年還會出什麼亂子？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh22IDgf8by
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回到家，還沒進去就看到七、八拿網子在庭園亂轉，然後轉到一半，腳被石子絆倒，網子不小心往打睏的地基主爺爺身上招呼去了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PIjwfBN3U
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頓時，哀鴻遍野。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUBO5Z5oqI
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「七、八你們在幹嘛？」中午一回家就看到他們在家裡搞笑，「別跟我說你們忘記吃藥了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcNMzLaVsP
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9D280jEqwE
「什、什麼，我們要吃什麼藥？」被染上一層泥土的七、八爬了起來，不太能理解我的玩笑話。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6OpQyLNeY
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「當然是不要鬧事的藥啊。」穿過中庭，我看著被網子纏住的可憐地基主，便幫祂把網子跟纏成一團的髮絲分開，然後從箱子裡面拿出線香，拜了一下後就直接走進家裡。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGMKQTLCQr
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喀。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VdmBglKyE
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門一關，就聽到門外發出慘嚎聲。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhABt7FIIaE
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「啊啊啊！！一一別把我們當空氣，也別把我們鎖在外面啊啊啊！！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgj2YhcRUUm
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活該，誰叫你們一早（？）就在發瘋，所以你們就留在外面冷靜冷靜吧。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8EpUxs3Gg
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就在門板砰砰的用力敲著時，走廊忽然發出咚咚的跑步聲，下一秒就見到老媽穿著小可愛跟短褲直接衝過來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZCC87WCR4
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看到就連腳也沒穿襪子、拖鞋，一副夏季打扮的笨老媽，在她兩手往前一伸作勢要抱住我的時候，我早先她一步脫下外套直接往她臉上甩！50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUQiqxylsi
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPO3FFm3fw
同時，我在她身上聞到了酒味。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyuD9if6Rs
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不會吧，才剛回到家就給我喝酒？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6caP5PKoqu
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而且現在才中午耶。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LpB1h0pCS
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlzZtcaWhi
「一一小親親，你這麼討厭媽媽嗎？」酒醉的老媽跪在地上，眼框充滿著淚花，楚楚可憐的樣子就像是悲情女主角，甚至還故意把綁成大馬尾的金髮散下來，那可憐指數要是給外人看，十個有九個人會立刻衝上去安慰她。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF78JtXHetD
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTV3yTtRfW
可是，我是她兒子，才不會被她這點小技倆耍得團團轉。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffnXkJJqkn
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuraV04y8T
「媽，我不討厭妳，只怕妳會感冒。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEam2cTtMq
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一個大冬天的穿這麼少能看嗎？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvZ6kdTCcL
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3q2O4OBo25
「你老媽沒這麼脆弱，被這點小寒冷給擊敗。」甩著金髮，老媽硬氣的說完後就打了個大大的噴嚏。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj33KrFLWRL
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鼻子上還掛著兩條鼻涕。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0u1TVnSE4
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「妳看吧！就說會感冒的！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAh17x6ZVcY
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bInxOA41w
我連忙從包包裡抓出衛生紙，趕在老媽把我的外套當擦鼻涕的衛生紙時壓在她的臉上。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJEtp8oSX7
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIqP56WrME
「嗚……小親親你果然對媽媽最好了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4LtbPepc9
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfb5BtVHI2
將衛生紙包成雲吞後，老媽頂著紅通通的鼻子飛撲要抱我，這次我也不掙扎乖乖給她當充電用具。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVIs2lYJ2n
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ghumYAWed
「工作忙完啦。」摸著老媽有點油膩的金髮，我思考著等等是不是要直接把這個懶惰的老媽綁一綁丟進浴缸裡面。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD598oZfid
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQClRMhIeR
「對呀，小親親還有衛生紙嗎？」老媽的鼻音還很重，我就直接丟給她一小包，等到她又把幾個「雲吞」丟到地上後，她喀喀的笑說：「一一，你猜媽媽我工作的時候遇到誰了？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AVtmnNJ9G
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLBZoDtIoM
「連君？」連想也不用想，這是老媽每次回來都會抱怨的工作同仁，不過與其說是夥伴，還不如說是死纏爛打的愛慕者。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3x4ly5466r
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老媽接的案子裡絕對都會看到連君，因為他也是模特兒，而且還算是滿有名的哪種。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEdZQ0fUOG
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但對老媽來說，也是最煩的那種人。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLud5Ld2WC
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQydvWkXos
「對對，就是君君。」哼了一下，老媽一手勾著我，一手拿著鋼瓶，她一口咬掉瓶塞，瓶子打開只聞到濃濃酒味，她咕嚕嚕的喝完後就跟我抱怨：「君君那個混蛋，要他幫點忙就給老子找一堆藉口拒絕，那個膽小鬼！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLLQalLYAn
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMA5Gz5EwN
「媽妳要連君幫什麼忙啊，妳該不會又惹了什麼麻煩了吧？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvYokJ7WDz
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuA62uJFFNI
我記得連君是不會拒絕老媽的要求啊，怎麼突然變成老媽口中的膽小鬼了？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BEa9oxoOA
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKEao7yJyJ
「啊……小親親你們上次不是遇到修羅，我只是想……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuyCEGDyBb
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06S3KCel27
老媽話還沒說完，就看到一個平底鍋朝老媽的頭上打去。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuzBBTlfD5
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEnGMU0TBQ
「鏘」一聲，林陸祿用低八度的寒音說：「媽，妳的酒醒了沒？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOx8LOWaGCV
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「嗚，醒了啦。」老媽捧著被焦黑鍋底染上一層黑炭的金髮：「六六真過份！媽媽這麼辛苦賺錢回家，居然被無良的六六用鍋子打，真是個不肖子，小心我打電話到家暴專線喔。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0J7U6VXqz0
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哐！50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQYWKqoemI
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「還沒醒啊。」林陸祿又用鍋子敲老媽的後腦，但這次比較輕，「媽，如果妳不發酒瘋，我還不會揍妳。」然後他比著二樓，「給我去沖點涼清洗一下，回來在告訴我該不該打妳！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORnJUHFvaw
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一家之主模式啟動，見到冒火的大魔王，老媽只能含淚勾著我，「好嘛……小親親要陪媽媽洗澡嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeR44PrHAZ1
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「不用。」我甩掉老媽的手，然後做出跟林陸祿一樣的動作，比著樓上，「媽，妳是要我把妳綁起來丟進浴缸，還是自己去？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuYEdFFoRz
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLByUXPSc6P
「討厭。」老媽對我們扮個鬼臉吐舌頭後，就跑到樓上去了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYceph5TXs
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「……小六。」看著完全沒有耍性子，直接跑掉的老媽，我低頭看著只有我胸口高的林陸祿，「今天的老媽好像很好說話欸。」感覺超可疑的耶。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOD1eOQSewc
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMYthBtbFJ
平常的老媽根本就是超難溝通的人，一件事情絕對會盧很久，直到酸完林陸祿、調戲完我之後，她才會心滿意足去做自己的事情。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJKyWvMl5r
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老媽，就是這樣的一個人。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhquzRUtFZx
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所以，這麼聽話，絕對有鬼。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskBYotXDGt
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才剛想完，樓上忽然發出乒乓聲響，鬼哭聲從二樓傳了下來，就連我的皮膚也浮起了一層寒意。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ77aTFD7OA
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「混蛋！又開鬼門，今天鬼門是想要開幾次啊！」林陸祿丟下平底鍋，將我推到門邊，門一打開，雙胞胎衝進來的時候，我順勢被推了出去。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6G5W2rAXH
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「小二，看好一一。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9vZAoSddI
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林陸祿關上門，頓時屋裡屋外陰風陣陣，天空還自動結成一團團的黑色烏雲，下起大雨來了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnkONWPxBV
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