91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzCidMGWEc
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEQWHAjtPY
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbshcMvBhtB
0191Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51t7mXhy7o
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJPNzrIqO9
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnPU9o4CYi
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoW78V2Iv2Q
赤羽業一如往常的沖泡咖啡加奶精加糖，他慣於在這時候放空腦袋休息，即便是在這時候，他依然如此。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNkMFBFUa2
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL89duMlaaB
攪拌咖啡時他看見自己的倒影迴轉在波紋中，意外的竟可以清晰反射出他面部的表情，是一個相當平靜的情緒，他本以為自己會是一副靜靜發著怒火的神情，然而，事實並非如此。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKT3CKkSXBR
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfw64TnNoQ
和表情同樣，他的內心此刻也靜謐的像火種熄滅似的，只有一縷青煙騰空散去。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vapyqrQSR
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmUqIBxofP
他不禁想，自己比起中學時候確實是成熟了些——尤其在看到娛樂版頭條醒目的標語之後，還能做些和普通日常無異的行為，而不是在那裡懊惱與憤恨——自己單戀了十幾年的人和當紅女明星傳出緋聞，作為證據，報導還放上兩人前往某溫泉旅館時的同遊照片。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YK0iUM3Bf
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52B8MfGpn9
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdG0fdZd4c
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyCxFYJpe2
赤羽業啜飲著咖啡醒腦，明天他有一場重要的議會質詢，為了這場質詢，他能掌握的資料都已經準備妥當，務必成功達陣。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4ONguhxcS
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjalbVnxeew
在迅速打著資料重點時，赤羽業想起以前看過的動畫，裡面一句台詞就是在說明成熟與不成熟的差異，成熟的人接受事實不再反抗，不成熟的人則繼續頑強抵抗。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv90ob4O4l0
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYGaB1qQBi
若然是以前的自己，肯定是會選擇反抗吧，然而自己並沒有選擇那樣幼稚的作法，大概就是成熟。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWRX61ujfq
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YzgqR6tZf
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupSDv2XIwg
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xGtHplivs
身後傳來同事們閱讀報紙之後的各種驚呼，他聞所未聞，繼續著自己的工作。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46N9zOkMIT
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQ7F3Q0O5j
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91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8Pu2urMf3
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV073JjiZpK
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LJ5H4OAT2
過了二十五歲之後，除了工作，赤羽業經常回想的就是一些有關於潮田渚的相處片段。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYyJUgMW3F
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UOSNcXhvw
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeC0lMUZNJt
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVv38ZA6u3
最初只是一個留著長髮、綁著馬尾、笑起來有些虛幻的少年，放眼望去很容易在眾人中淹沒的稀薄存在感，卻因那時的偶然，令他目光全然留在他身上。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuTYKtFI26
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqsVN4s7YA
赤羽業從來沒有對潮田渚說過，他對他最初的印象來自於某個放學後的黃昏教室，當時他出了校門憶起遺漏了作業本，便趕緊回教室欲拿取，剛好教室大門尚未關上，他正要踏入之時卻被眼前景緻停住腳步——逢魔時刻的色彩渲染整間教室，在他目光所及之處的人，綁著馬尾，藍色髮絲裡滲透著金黃色，背對著他。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmM1vpnftJm
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BSusyB1uF
彷彿愛麗絲的兔子洞，誘惑著好奇的孩子一探究竟。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH317LiDSI8
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjfxV98EBS
日後，他經常回想的就是那樣的場景，靜謐的時刻裡，看著遠方夕陽沈落的少年。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PxgxMMKRQ
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCJlVmZy4c
假如那時候，更靠近些，或許便能得知少年那時在思考的事情了吧。 91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6fxsJ4PMN
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnhpUroWG4
赤羽業不只一次地這麼揣想。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhZWWVQBo9
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ2AL8c1zj
更靠近些，也就更能了解少年了，或者，讓少年想靠近自己，這份從那時便持續的單戀或許就能劃下結果——無論是否如願，至少不用懷抱揣想，一驚一顫地。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomaN2n5fFo
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStj6fRJLWu
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLX0Q1PMGq
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFL0u9hGuF
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91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAa0BZdCjVN
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOj96Gwl8iS
結束了一整天的工作，赤羽業走出辦公室時已滿天星斗。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2bdV6FbqY
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9SIbCp7na
冷咧的風吹來，寒的讓人哆嗦，迎風而行的他卻忽然笑了，抑不可止的笑了，剝落了從早上就武裝的情緒笑了。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzV1WgQ0Mn
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YBMWtfXG6
隨著緊繃情緒忽然的潰堤，他感覺到溫熱的液體從自己的臉龐滑落。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsX8xlK20lF
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuT2CaMncWX
他想自己的確是很難受，不然一向不輕易落淚的他怎會突然無法阻止地不斷掉淚，弔詭是自己臉上還是一副笑容，而他知道自己是真心地露出笑容的。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Q13a3IDrH
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDQ3VrJeNu
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4kHJrQYI2
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiJZKl9D6N
原來，再怎麼了解自己，終究還是會有無法理解的地方——就像小說角色因各種情緒的混雜那樣，他又笑又哭。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuukaKETiqU
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zJW3EmSSC
而他以為自己不會。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCOFuBByrv
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwLABlvrK8
他本來以為自己不會的。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqKFLpORU6
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHpQdSgEcB
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34aasCgSTp
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO45XJVlDla
不過就是喜歡的人似乎有了喜歡的對象，而那個對象偏偏不是自己罷了，沒什麼大不了的。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbyNIRkIfs
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLdkKnn9eg
沒什麼大不了的，不是嗎？91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgU5aFpzd5t
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYD21WNbrwP
不是嗎？91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvf2lKkhHFt
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsCi8IeWty
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbMCVgEMM7
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91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshVDnhk0py
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOgvvzyTCz
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElYx5Gep37
赤羽業中學之後常常會夢到潮田渚。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Igt5d5i3L
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkOHQ2ItFt
綁著馬尾的他，升上中學三年級之後的他，留著短髮的他。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8tQfoSvbK
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhsr0J7Ug1
無論哪一個他，只要看到他，潮田渚都會露出笑容往他而來，並說著美妙的話語，是只能在夢裡聽見的情話。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbh2hzxFBwr
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8wnlifgHD
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkMEOJf3Ic
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOI0dyuvEKv
所以，在住家周圍見到早上才在報紙裡看到的人出現的時候，赤羽業恍惚還以為自己疲累到走著睡著了——尤其，對方還一臉笑容的往自己走過來時，簡直重現了夢境場景。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreG4Md22qk
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhVWu2WdsB
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDghI4Ey8K
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEi3eYtlfb
「業，你今天好晚回來啊。」91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehri2oMOZg
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpzc6ixCj5
雖然擺著一張笑容，然而赤羽業敏銳感覺到那笑顏下潛藏著的疲憊。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88C07w899D
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC23hmopQTd
啊啊，是這麼回事嗎？91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVe6hN4Ndk
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EsbHtGG8Q
難得的，赤羽業對自己洞悉人性這一點感到厭惡。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbJJBvZzDv
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzL5hYHQ59
「明天有重要的質詢，所以剛剛還在處理。」他頓了頓，並沒想戳破什麼地裝傻「渚，這麼晚了，你怎麼會來呢？」91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSjYrQIhrZ
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpRnyCla8G
「……原來，業沒有看到報紙嗎？」不知道是放心還是懊惱，潮田渚呼了口氣「今天我下班回家時，發現家裡附近躲著好幾個記者，大概是想來打聽些事情吧」言至此，赤羽業難得見到潮田渚露出苦笑「而我的父母貌似也被騷擾了，便傳簡訊讓我今天別回家去別處躲著，等過個幾天就會沒事了。」91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzocnkrZqg8
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtupC3S9BYr
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAEgri5WRR
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xPVRLhXol
潮田渚的言詞閃爍，大概是有些顧慮吧。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGCbD7SF1o
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFrZMhCVe7
他並沒有興致去讓自己受傷，因此潮田渚言詞隱蔽的那些內容，儘管他猜得出來，他也不想直接聽到當事人直接說出。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSMz7VcH9Q
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdpwtFYgUR
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pZ61I2qwu
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMwcMBQPX4
「所以，你想在我這裡待個幾天，是這樣的意思嗎？」他直接點出結論。確實自己之前經常拖著潮田渚灌酒，家裡是有一些渚的換洗衣物跟被子。要是他是渚也會選擇一樣的事情，一來不用花錢住在酒店裡，二來也比較方便。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlabZI8vKp4
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjhN3wPDGt
「對，畢竟，我沒有其他可以拜託的人了。」91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkZfLRCLUb
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoFPVgoput
赤羽業聽了之後直覺渚在說謊，然而卻找不出任何感覺奇怪的地方。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oUei8iFlS
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskwlv0cIMV
要論交情，自己的確是可以勝任的，然而說找不到人可以拜託？E班的感情在共經患難之後，是非常堅實的，除了自己之外，渚還有很多人可以拜託，想必他們也會十分樂意的（當然，肯定包含看戲的成份）。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjg2O7vTpoR
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3FdR7GzJM
只是，渚的為難似乎也是真的，他似乎是真的找不到其他可以拜託的人——是以，才會沒有任何告知，就跑來他家外面等他，而他甚至不知道他會幾點回來地在寒風中等著。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq13xnWsTxA
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz65VcG5sz
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TBAqakIkU
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「我知道了，你就在我這裡躲個幾天吧。」91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMcbNe6KKF
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUC5l2nxXtg
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9hyXzb6wM
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0uzc57qv0
赤羽業有時會想，假如記憶可以回放，那麼潮田渚在他應允之後的那個畫面，他肯定會重溫數次——潮田渚喜出望外地抱住他，透過衣服傳來的溫熱，他曉得渚十分高興，雖然他還感覺到更深層次的欣喜，而那個欣喜在之後才能明白。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwyWtu0Dhi
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdGR96Nsrv
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gp2rrgWgl
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgk73jfLaP
當時的他僅僅是以為渚對於他讓他躲在他家裡這件事情感謝而已，直到後來發現誤會一場，他聽見和夢裡一樣的話語時，他才明白那時感覺到的謊言與欣喜的意義。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EMtNQEX3P
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgC2z2d0V5
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91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeq26278ODn
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡna05vSa1TO
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkV2QA4Qamy
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2K77lZry5j
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91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86jIJI3Vb1
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91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSolgeYQ9F
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91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweEs0nEuso
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91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ecmtuQ633
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKD2udrvd3z
「二十五歲時，赤羽業看見了自己單戀的人出現在報紙的版面上，那是一個和女明星緋聞的版面。從十三歲和少年相遇的時候，他這一份單戀就開始了。直到年老，他從來也沒說出口。沒有人知道的戀情不存在，所以他只是陪在潮田渚的身邊，他陪了多久，這份單戀就多久。六十五歲時，赤羽業還是陪在喜歡的人身邊。直到老死前，他都沒有說出口。」91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIV32BhiOK
91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GcTdu40Oq
以上是我寫文的最初動機與結構。以業的角度出發的單戀，只是，業對於這份戀情並沒有想放手一搏，以致於他和渚的關係始終在非常奇妙的情況。原設定中的渚也並沒有結婚，從業的角度無法知道渚的內心，所以並不能明白渚不結婚的原因。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHVUR52raG
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不過寫文寫著就會出現慣性，所以最後還是回到不太遺憾的層面。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMJUUDDTI7
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以前跟徘徊討論過，對於業渚，業必須處於主動才能得到好結果，假如兩個都沒有意識到，儘管遺憾但也不太虐，然而一方清醒一方迴避，那就有趣了。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTaZGKMOl7
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這文章大概有涉及到這一層面的討論。91Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2DCwvYbzY
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謝謝觀賞與指教！ns216.73.216.251da2
