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Corrupt Forest
Writer Jadafun
Writer
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
PG-13
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4 Likes
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Corrupt Forest
3 Bookmarks
A - A - A
Intro 2 3 4 5 6 7
#1
Prologue
Jadafun
Nov 6, 2016
2
4
201
5 Mins Read
No Plagiarism!yJ8HwtSS8O7yng1w0exZposted on PENANA

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" A bright-eyed woman asked, moving her black hair to peek into her son's cradle.copyright protection201PENANAZOib424b7L

Her husband stayed at the window, not so much as glancing in her direction. She looked at him warily, making her way over to him. Putting her shoulder on him, she finally got him to tear his eyes from the glass pane. Neither spoke a word, just sharing a sorrowful gaze to each other. Outside, misty black fog covered the ground, and not a person stood on the streets. Most could pass it off as a weird weather change, but the inhabitants of the town knew better. She had chosen their home to destroy for her own enjoyment. In no time at all, her minions materialized on the cold, hard stone.copyright protection201PENANAhFvpn1TgT1

Claws, talons, feet, and slithering bodies moved soundlessly as they approached closer to the citizens houses. Their midnight black skin sucked in any and all light that touched it, the only glow coming from them were their pupil-less eyes and glistening fangs. The poor people have long since given up on trying to fight against the army, they had lost enough innocents from trying. They made their way from the roads to the homes, almost hypnotically. As swiftly and suddenly as they went in, the houses burst into flames and burned down, the townies still stuck inside them. The man and woman held their breath as the dark mist headed towards them.copyright protection201PENANA41zshBYiPw

The woman took her gaze from the window, running to her son's crib. Her eyes watered as she stared down at his oblivious, sleeping face, a small smile on his snoring lips. Her husband ran downstairs upon seeing that the army had reached their front door. He grabbed a hand ax from a hidden compartment under the stairs. It would be laughable to actually plan to survive against an onslaught of Corrupts, but he was willing to die for his wife and son. Hopefully, he could stall for long enough for them to escape. The door burst off of it's hinges, but nothing but the calm fog was behind it. The fog enveloped the man, the weightless substance making quick work of filling his lungs and killing him, before making it's way upstairs.copyright protection201PENANAhPkA0oD5AL

The mother hadn't taken her eyes off her baby, not even when she saw the mist fill his bedroom. Not even when the queen materialized behind her, her eight foot stature casting a shadow over her, including her large bat wing-span. The queen's black skin drew attention to her razor sharp teeth, the grin she had on made her face seem to split in half. She wore a slender, white, Victorian-style gown, her feet hidden under it's length, and her straight, white hair falling down her back. She folded her clawed hands behind her back, teasingly, as the mother slowly turned to look up at her.copyright protection201PENANAQRqlhOna4h

"What a nice child you have. He has his father's nose..." the queen said. Her voice sounded like it echoed itself, high-pitch layered over her low tone. With a snap of her fingers, one of her minions appeared next to her. A panther-like creature with a serpent's head, carrying something in it's mouth. It dropped it, leaving the woman horrified by the sight. "...and now, so do you." it said, with a grin.copyright protection201PENANAc9iLBAmzTc

The queen snarled at her accomplice. "Acantha, my dear, I tell the jokes around here." Her minion cowered back, sitting on it's hind legs like an obedient cub.copyright protection201PENANA5b1pL1Op7o

The mother stood wordless, her eyes barely processing what was in front of her. "W-What did you do to him?"copyright protection201PENANAaYfBjxpHHu

"He stood in my way, so I had him taken care of. In fact, I'll offer you the same fate, quick and moderately painless, if you give me the child."copyright protection201PENANAZTDiFfT2OM

"N-No. You're not getting near my so-"copyright protection201PENANAeUXgkJi88p

In the blink of an eye, one of the queen's claws slashed the woman's neck. Her last words were nothing but unintelligible gargles, as she fell to the ground, bleeding out. The queen stepped over her, gently picking the child up from his crib. His short, black hair was neat, and as he slowly opened his eyes to show they were a dark brown color. His skin was still as pink as if he was a newborn, and he only appeared to be a few months old. She snapped her fingers, and her and the child were outside, as her minions worked on setting the home ablaze. The flames quickly spread through the house, ensuring that not a bit of debris would be left. She raised the child up high, unwrapping the blanket he was wrapped in, just enough to reveal his arm.copyright protection201PENANAwinMTHjip1

"You'd make a fine heir, my son. With this injection of my royal DNA, I give you the power of superiority over all average humans, as well as most of my minions. I give you the honor of being like my own blood-born. I dub you, the Corrupted Prince!" She brought his arm down to her mouth, biting him gently enough not to go through it, but far enough to get her venom into his bloodstream. He cried loudly, wailing from both the fright of being in the strange woman's arms, and the pain from her bite. "Shh, silence, my child."copyright protection201PENANANoUqGAFzCu

The boy instantly was quiet, his cry stopping suddenly as he fell back to sleep. The bite marks disappeared, yet he didn't appear any different. Acantha appeared again, next to the queen. "The deed is done, my queen. But do we really require a new ruler? I thought you promised me the throne once you perished."copyright protection201PENANAmRpj7K2qSa

"Trust me, Acantha, he will be an excellent ruler once he is finished with his training, and once he unleashes his new form." she said, cradling the boy. Without another word, she turned to mist, the child also being converted. Acantha followed behind, as well as the other minions, as the house came crashing down in the background.copyright protection201PENANAPptcbmUvFj


TO BE CONTINUEDcopyright protection201PENANAwsIrSo1yYE

54.162.159.33

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Comments ( 4 )

CJ Gem - The lack of pronouns made it slightly confusing, but it's very well done considering! I liked the fact that his eyes were brown- a young baby might start with blue eyes that turn brown, but never the reverse. It's a nice bit of fact checking, since this process can take up to 9 months and it's implied he's younger than that. 

I do find myself wondering why more of the villagers (citizens? humans?) didn't try to flee into the night when they saw the creatures, rather than remain in their homes to burn. Maybe we'll meet a character in the future who escaped a similar situation by sacrificing their home?

It's also not readily obvious which era this story is set in, which works to your benefit here to add to the mystery. I can't wait to keep reading!
5 months agoreply

Jadafun - Thank you very much for the notes and critiques! I hope that you find my writing was improved, if you choose to keep reading, as this story is the result of chapters being written over months and years of me improving. I'll try to edit the early chapters from now on to show my progress, and hopefully fix any plot holes or inconsistencies like the ones you found. I will say, however, that the lack of names early on has significance. I might have to find a way to make it less confusing, but I can't change the fact that I'll need to keep the identities secret in a somewhat subtle way.
4 months agoreply

Frances - I can't wait to find out how the queen knew the baby's parents and why she chose him in the first place, you did an excellent job of not giving it all away. Keep it up!
1 year agoreply

Jadafun - Thank you for the encouragement! n_n
1 year agoreply

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