51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdublpguuFo
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再醒來的時候。我坐在醫院冰涼的走廊長椅上。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvVpjBc2bc
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51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJS80Z8X71A
「獄寺？你醒了？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJClV6tm23a
正依靠的肩膀瘦弱卻堅定，安心的氣息。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiDj5lsTxK
我抬頭撞上十代首領滿是擔憂與憐憫的目光，他的臉蒼白至無血色。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVy5h5P3NHV
「醒來就好醒來就好，哪裡還痛麼？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0toveDJac5
我機械的搖頭，喉嚨幹到吐不出完整句子。如往常時，我也許會馬上從他懷裏脫逃出來，用敬語不停對剛才自己的無理舉動道歉。然而現在，我想任性一下。因為我太過於需要，這個容我卸下防備，縱我袒露軟弱的避風港。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVbxfWPqvb
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMpHphaOn4
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhQGrmKgFk
「下次不要再這麽莽撞了，知道嗎！」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKomBSChY1
他手掌輕緩的，若有若無撫著我的背脊，上面附有母親的溫度。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcU6o6Cwkuc
走道裏三兩個人焦慮的走過，急診室的氣氛不如想像中那麽窒息，令人惶恐的死寂，偶爾傳來的幾聲哀號。黑夜有些冰冷，我們依賴在一起像是互相取暖。縱然我清楚自己幷不瞭解，也無從瞭解到十代目的私人生活。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN230rskEp
他是否有在戀愛？或許也會因爲思念而焦慮，甚至是被傷害後的迷茫？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohTF3Bo8iW
總能看透我的十代首領，無需我多言，也知道我在被什麽羈絆著動彈不得的十代首領…51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsS7ELKjW1d
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCd67UtQVo
「十代目……」 委屈，痛苦，這一刻被無形引力吸出開始瓦解我佯裝的堅强…51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReXUFwRCYG
額頭粗略纏著惱人情緒的紗布，手臂的傷口還在隱隱作痛。我真窩囊，明明是要挑釁，卻被對方教訓得要首領幫我善後。現在還要一副孬種樣依賴在需要我保護的人懷中，思考那些有的沒的兒女情長。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pyWrxCZ21
泄露單相思沒有收穫，但却很輕鬆。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRYmnCzBsN
罪惡感令山本會對我格外溫柔。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuRmTiahe5
而且一定不會再發生比這更糟糕的事情，不會再受更深的傷害。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2QUhuuQZT
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但是……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTODteYdHcx
嚼不爛的痛苦，理不清的哀傷。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa79jdvESJt
如果可以將它們藏在某處不被發現……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfW5C0Tesk
鼻子好酸，眼睛發脹，下一秒我再無法控制自己。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUvVd6X00I
「好啦，要是想哭的話……」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHnsy42iUe
「獄寺…我都明白的，明白。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRhdlMLF76
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再無法控制的…51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYJPcxkmx4
「…十…十代…唔……」 51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9dYPRuQ9k
淚如雨下。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74jlVy7CYN
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請原諒我…不會太久…51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SBvvfmzFt
就這一小會兒…馬上就會好了……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvHvPO1LiD
等這些懦弱的液體流到幹了，就可以再拿起武器…51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30e6N4S5nz
再不會讓你操心…沒什麽再可以再阻攔我……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN02uo6gE4B
倒帶回曾經單一却安全的生活…不受束縛。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHo1eXwQ6h
眼裏只會追隨你一人，其餘不想過問…51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzbXfGx1Ao
即使是他……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZg4uOIBiB
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山本……你現在正在做什麽？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zeftItI9j
是不是正在心疼，被我狠心毆打挂彩的雲雀？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NOzTqukQt
正在爲他細心包扎傷口，用一貫的寵溺與深情語氣。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lRhgKZZ6n
那麼那個人映在山本瞳孔中的身影會是怎樣的？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFNxckLVrw
是不是也在像我一般懷揣著一灌稠濃的漿液，51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbSRpLiBvf
滿打滿撞撒在各處角落一灘灘，或粘膩得緊貼在身上甩不凈？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPY51vN2pJv
也會想要觸碰他寬廣的肩，還有他燦爛的臉麼。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGd8CHuoU6x
那時，山本的心中會發出怎樣的聲響？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmCQg8YD4n
那個応接室裏充斥著怎樣的回憶？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzX6dWM1eO9
一直，一直……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLYNf9vsfe
都只有兩個人的吧。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Z0hjIqbWi
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專門找藉口，多次經過可以裝作偶然相遇他的地方。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqeu5AhCVT
哪怕只能見一面，聽一次聲音也可以。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iXknEvZEP
拼命地思念，使勁掙扎著。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4s0fJI8Je
但是我只明白這點，光是思念就令人快要心痛死。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kxkiCsGM3
而無法離開你的理由，只要這心痛就够了。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTkkqYMlmu
不過，放心吧，這算得了什麽大事。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1pT4vlRLR
哪怕會親眼見到這些，我也不會像易碎品斷裂，能夠繼續活下去。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98kEDd1VGa
哪怕山本一直惦記著那個人，哪怕再看他同樣充滿不安的神情…51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oDwAYKfEG
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdKyuSWqyB
我的心也不會輕易崩潰。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoLFQqTPLo
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等傷好到連疤都看不到我才肯回學校上課，山本主動跑過來遞給我筆記。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGg2qdYQXl
我才不相信，他上課能記到重點在紙上，只是翻開了看，了了草草的他的字迹，我讀得到滿滿的認真，還參雜著不應有的，心軟與愧疚。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAy0pIDFDf
一抬頭，發現班裏大部分同學均向我這邊投來複雜目光。有些女生不顧山本此行目的，做作得走過來搭訕，一舉一動連我鶏皮疙瘩掉了一地。 51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfDiZ90gGH
「山本同學，你和獄寺同學認識？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKVzGVVNOW
「獄寺同學爲什麽從來不說你們是國中同學？！」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLsL4po3xw
「山本同學，這是我自己做的點心，不介意的話就收下吧！」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDuX59k7Up
「山本同學的棒球聽說很厲害，有打算加入棒球社團麽？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZctd8dDSuK
「山本同學……」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZOgEPc30p
够了都給我滾！51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36cMvXb5uW
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8NVWmKAQa
人群聚集一堆嘰嘰喳喳，我完全沒了吃午餐的習慣，逃似的飛奔出教室。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1ewFjBEUi
任憑山本在後面怎樣喊我的名也顧不上絲毫的猶豫。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKAMSQ2Kp0
我真想馬上找個地洞鉆進去，永遠都不要出來。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd9TaR7xbC
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「獄寺！等等我！」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwCTsuoc0C
我已經記不住自己跑了多久，他竟然一直在後面窮追不捨。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHFOADGiNS
沒辦法，根本沒有吃早餐的我肯定敵不過他運動神經發達，只好停下脚步找個地方猛喘大氣。他追上來，扶住靠著墻逐漸下滑的我死不放手，雖然我用眼神威脅他無數次。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡId2o1vCKlY
「你很煩……」 我和他上一次對話，好似已經是很久前了。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZlLCQTwz0
他完全忽視了我一切反面的情緒。「一起去福利社買午飯吧！獄寺！」 沒等我反應，乾淨得笑著拽住我走。 醞釀好的拒絕也被他濕熱的掌溫融化。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSubZByIvf
我要被你這樣牽著鼻子走到何時？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT06hiQ95Ir
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkRUuWTjUA
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他肯定是看過雲雀才來這兒，我知道自己把雲雀傷的不輕。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxyl4UGXqj
若山本老媽子似的囑咐我幾句，我全當聽狗吠。然而他未多表現出一分异樣，只是將買好的套餐端到我面前，討好似的笑容。 51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgmdvvBljT
「還頭暈嗎？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHIG7U6sHp
我沒應他，只是側頭。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUuFKses5h
我也不知自己鬧什麽彆扭，但就是看不慣，這樣曖昧場景。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzqyfq268N
對我狠點更好，我更容易恨你，然後我們就玩完。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDrvI6w5lE
「獄寺？」 煩不煩啊你。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡir3p0knZlf
不要總是用這種語氣叫我的名字。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrT3ySRaQxN
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「獄寺怎麽不吃？是不喜歡人多麼…沒辦法，中午食堂就是這樣。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFY1f2NNBL4
「不過爲了吃美食，總是要犧牲點呢。」 51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vkvUhNJiK
他把自己碗裏的蝦肉球都夾給我， 「獄寺喜歡吃這個吧？吶，都給你。」　51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qTDxPrlgH
再沒力氣和他作對。我閉上眼睛，緩緩別過頭。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHr0eo6vPL
心裏絲絲縷縷的酸澀……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkxV2IpSp0
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD4x51g5RC
山本……你可不可以試著，這樣講給我聽？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEkLfcQD8z
『都給你。你想要的，想從我這裡拿走的都可以給你。』51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1VDZsWZqY
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儘管我知道一切根本不可能如此發生。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwkwbqkgQM
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSWMV1vJA0
「我不餓，你吃你的，不用管我。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffC0UqKNM3
既然無法回應我，那就不要再給我希望。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUz2Hckj5Mu
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwDjtINE8q
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我乾脆放下筷子，將視線挪至走動的人群。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCi7gdSXoKn
能感覺到氣氛由盛至衰逐漸尷尬起來，他也只好低頭默默扒飯。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKGdtcQyxb
幾個風紀委員估計是記住了我的長相，路過我身邊的時候能感覺到敵意。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1O4goz33Dj
「說起來。雲雀沒怎麼樣吧。」 我沒頭沒腦竟然要問這個？！51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtN1Jy6jON
他啞然。過了好一會兒才講， 「沒事了，傷……恢復得差不多了。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uEd6RIBKp
有那麽嬌氣？！我記得自己下手很輕的，因為心有它顧。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOO6wndfmjD
看著山本一臉五官凝聚的苦惱狀，忍不住一笑。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpRkQnzh6O
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45PRREAMHS
這個白癡，因為戀愛的事情開始會察言觀色了嗎？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOyrY8Yzw1
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOGhxhYPzN
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAss0SLXzcZ
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緊接著是更深的沉默。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7MXpM21mT
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LaChfQIHz
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE45onEb886
「我肋骨都好了呢！」 他突然轉移話題， 「你看，我又活動自如了！」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeZ3mAqqZ1
「不要得意忘形啦混蛋快坐好。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiMORx3WDH
「那次被雲雀修理的夠嗆啊！不過都是因為我吸煙的錯啦…」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhduDajA7VD
吸煙？你已經開始吸烟了麼…51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaDPnNTUxp
靠！是誰天天雞婆似叫我戒煙的！51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHoClWhNiw
爲什麽你也吸煙了……你在煩惱些什麽？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGKy58j5RB
同時煙民，或許那幷不是因爲煙的味道有多麼誘惑。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz21SxIMw5u
只是人會空虛，需要一種習慣性動作填補這空白。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHtDFCWUX5
你這麼做，是因為空虛還是什麽？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0zqHC0ps2
你已經堅定決心，不再做棒球手了？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡys45hDa5WX
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……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKABk6yeGN
看他手舞足蹈滑稽的樣子想要逗我笑。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDc2Hz0N5t
更是心酸似吃了一顆梅。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSGOmy0RYt
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我正思索著，突然迎面他的手撲上來。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQeuCuVgRr
「獄寺，你傷好重。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sHtE84VHv
我嚇得本想往後一撤，身體卻僵硬在原地。任憑他揉我沒搭理的亂髮。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTswrWVIla
「雲雀手勁兒大，你小心被他傷到要害。」 51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfHXlXWGFN
你這是放馬後炮吧，而且真正傷到要害的不是你麼？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ028Mlhmb9W
「……你…背還疼麼？」 我故作冷漠的語調。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HfRdkQ3US
「獄寺終于肯說話啦，來吃飯吧！」 51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7IVR0Dig0
他又將筷子遞到我面前。「我沒事噢！這幾天休息好著呢，大補了幾頓。現在十萬火急的想要運動啊唉！」 說著還不忘展示他肱二頭肌。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKDnfPAGJx
「那就不要再在風紀混了，打棒球去。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpHut1B5m6
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdLb0AgVFs
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtNdcDD9lp
……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMpSus3h9o
我不自主講出這句，事後才意識到不自然。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NrvzaJttM
山本瞳孔一縮，結結巴巴支吾了一下， 「之前我問獄寺…」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu99CUL214n
「你根本早就自己决定好了吧！」 51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmRSL0O1F7
一股怒氣竄上心頭，我拍案而起。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sqOUKSZJo
我那些都是謊話！你根本就是爲了找個契機給自己一個正當理由而已！51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggtMMrgYO6
「根本就是你自己！抽煙喝酒！參加幫派！裝什麽受傷！」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuHspbSEDj
「獄、獄寺？……冷靜啊……」 51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8hxkt5TcQ
他慌張的拉我，顯露出為難的樣子。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjodzQIxyL
周圍的人紛紛瞧向我們這邊，醜惡的嘴臉在看熱鬧。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3up8av0mhW
包括掩藏在人群中的黑衣男人。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KhzJNbMat
雲雀恭彌，你他媽個混蛋。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7UrRFXpFD
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZSKatk7wL
打與不打，對我意義不大。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0N1NOVYFKM
然而看不到你與棒球的結伴，我的心變得空蕩。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkWu3bSENw
縱使被他人鄙視，那些東西卻是我的寶貝。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzntQdiVNNs
山本武，你又一次成功逼迫我煩躁起來。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhQ6eHmFrZ
頭皮撓出血肉，骨胳也吱吱喳喳跟著開始叫囂起來。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWYoKdWndl
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他體味到我怒氣，沒再講話。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHCwr7BQ5p
四目相對的時候，我好想擁緊他。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ9GKscv5g
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbfIMSV2Qp
他像是雨，倘若可以感受到這濕潤，自己也會像是草木在放晴後的生長，一夜間長大麼？不過也許他會忘記了吧，那時候的風那時候的雲，那時候的光影嘈雜。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4vvmXqL75
儘管那麼認真的生氣過迷茫過、隱忍過受傷過，隨著時間流逝笑著回想起來，也許在這個過程中連記憶也會漸漸消失吧。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jWk2ceeUT
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eg2KN47ri
但是那時候，我的確是在那裡存在過的。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdjiNIz096
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（未完待續）