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再醒來的時候。我坐在醫院冰涼的走廊長椅上。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTt2cvRRJTd
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「獄寺？你醒了？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDsJSFuINb
正依靠的肩膀瘦弱卻堅定，安心的氣息。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1Tlb5PmZA
我抬頭撞上十代首領滿是擔憂與憐憫的目光，他的臉蒼白至無血色。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1lGgUCTnr
「醒來就好醒來就好，哪裡還痛麼？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPHhXExzHp
我機械的搖頭，喉嚨幹到吐不出完整句子。如往常時，我也許會馬上從他懷裏脫逃出來，用敬語不停對剛才自己的無理舉動道歉。然而現在，我想任性一下。因為我太過於需要，這個容我卸下防備，縱我袒露軟弱的避風港。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWUQcS26qc
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「下次不要再這麽莽撞了，知道嗎！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDDZyg577j
他手掌輕緩的，若有若無撫著我的背脊，上面附有母親的溫度。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQvKQ9Vdcq
走道裏三兩個人焦慮的走過，急診室的氣氛不如想像中那麽窒息，令人惶恐的死寂，偶爾傳來的幾聲哀號。黑夜有些冰冷，我們依賴在一起像是互相取暖。縱然我清楚自己幷不瞭解，也無從瞭解到十代目的私人生活。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKJN3W0VlL
他是否有在戀愛？或許也會因爲思念而焦慮，甚至是被傷害後的迷茫？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8IxRelmKl
總能看透我的十代首領，無需我多言，也知道我在被什麽羈絆著動彈不得的十代首領…41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZ9RAwwaSv
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「十代目……」 委屈，痛苦，這一刻被無形引力吸出開始瓦解我佯裝的堅强…41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNTQtweAb5
額頭粗略纏著惱人情緒的紗布，手臂的傷口還在隱隱作痛。我真窩囊，明明是要挑釁，卻被對方教訓得要首領幫我善後。現在還要一副孬種樣依賴在需要我保護的人懷中，思考那些有的沒的兒女情長。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjdPiEisXt
泄露單相思沒有收穫，但却很輕鬆。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3mT8wbjp7
罪惡感令山本會對我格外溫柔。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBuWqdkRUW
而且一定不會再發生比這更糟糕的事情，不會再受更深的傷害。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXhO4jeewg
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSCWWgE0OM
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但是……41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFVSSkWJ2K
嚼不爛的痛苦，理不清的哀傷。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUNABRzdRN
如果可以將它們藏在某處不被發現……41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4SzYGOCek
鼻子好酸，眼睛發脹，下一秒我再無法控制自己。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqeSZCft3J
「好啦，要是想哭的話……」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb8B8MOOZp
「獄寺…我都明白的，明白。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaUNlZhPYE
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53l7iiwnZI
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再無法控制的…41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ekrIYmvmU
「…十…十代…唔……」 41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRM7RxiW1Z
淚如雨下。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTJQ25Ekzs
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請原諒我…不會太久…41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlgHVoUB6t
就這一小會兒…馬上就會好了……41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5e1hABAMzj
等這些懦弱的液體流到幹了，就可以再拿起武器…41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8oRItf5qd
再不會讓你操心…沒什麽再可以再阻攔我……41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAM2Psv4cQ
倒帶回曾經單一却安全的生活…不受束縛。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KYe6gao0N
眼裏只會追隨你一人，其餘不想過問…41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1REZkqdbm3
即使是他……41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66La3Epk4Z
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山本……你現在正在做什麽？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqu3S8Fefq2
是不是正在心疼，被我狠心毆打挂彩的雲雀？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLmwQarxdi
正在爲他細心包扎傷口，用一貫的寵溺與深情語氣。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpC4by1ZMtQ
那麼那個人映在山本瞳孔中的身影會是怎樣的？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGVFowfbfh
是不是也在像我一般懷揣著一灌稠濃的漿液，41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPkLwRBuzI
滿打滿撞撒在各處角落一灘灘，或粘膩得緊貼在身上甩不凈？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDiyNiVjBY
也會想要觸碰他寬廣的肩，還有他燦爛的臉麼。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbmIIzzHfu
那時，山本的心中會發出怎樣的聲響？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmOppcTFel
那個応接室裏充斥著怎樣的回憶？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmOPhu757L
一直，一直……41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FqyDTNj8b
都只有兩個人的吧。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMwsYdZ7LF
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專門找藉口，多次經過可以裝作偶然相遇他的地方。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0hGbZNa1O
哪怕只能見一面，聽一次聲音也可以。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhGHATgJI4
拼命地思念，使勁掙扎著。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLyC7dNdVS
但是我只明白這點，光是思念就令人快要心痛死。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhcTpMRwZI
而無法離開你的理由，只要這心痛就够了。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYmKWB38lj
不過，放心吧，這算得了什麽大事。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JVwztIJs1
哪怕會親眼見到這些，我也不會像易碎品斷裂，能夠繼續活下去。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLyysh18cG
哪怕山本一直惦記著那個人，哪怕再看他同樣充滿不安的神情…41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh05gHCGGy1
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我的心也不會輕易崩潰。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Nxnf0Ormk
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等傷好到連疤都看不到我才肯回學校上課，山本主動跑過來遞給我筆記。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubr5MR4Ht9
我才不相信，他上課能記到重點在紙上，只是翻開了看，了了草草的他的字迹，我讀得到滿滿的認真，還參雜著不應有的，心軟與愧疚。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1X5bYZQ8q
一抬頭，發現班裏大部分同學均向我這邊投來複雜目光。有些女生不顧山本此行目的，做作得走過來搭訕，一舉一動連我鶏皮疙瘩掉了一地。 41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXW4iw9uGO
「山本同學，你和獄寺同學認識？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUyz5PsOMS
「獄寺同學爲什麽從來不說你們是國中同學？！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4z2BByqujR
「山本同學，這是我自己做的點心，不介意的話就收下吧！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruvxdEctEz
「山本同學的棒球聽說很厲害，有打算加入棒球社團麽？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKt7oKrA0CD
「山本同學……」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6sn8Yh8mF
够了都給我滾！41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQBZQ7PQIE
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人群聚集一堆嘰嘰喳喳，我完全沒了吃午餐的習慣，逃似的飛奔出教室。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8bwPey7MA
任憑山本在後面怎樣喊我的名也顧不上絲毫的猶豫。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpzVg9P3Ze
我真想馬上找個地洞鉆進去，永遠都不要出來。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn31vO60fn
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41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkeYGuDr8k
「獄寺！等等我！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRpt7t9d3a
我已經記不住自己跑了多久，他竟然一直在後面窮追不捨。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVC2iaxISHS
沒辦法，根本沒有吃早餐的我肯定敵不過他運動神經發達，只好停下脚步找個地方猛喘大氣。他追上來，扶住靠著墻逐漸下滑的我死不放手，雖然我用眼神威脅他無數次。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvhqaiH0Wl
「你很煩……」 我和他上一次對話，好似已經是很久前了。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvO70Ujuq5
他完全忽視了我一切反面的情緒。「一起去福利社買午飯吧！獄寺！」 沒等我反應，乾淨得笑著拽住我走。 醞釀好的拒絕也被他濕熱的掌溫融化。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnhhsGIUqr
我要被你這樣牽著鼻子走到何時？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkMM1IZM4u
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他肯定是看過雲雀才來這兒，我知道自己把雲雀傷的不輕。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwLxkHdbha
若山本老媽子似的囑咐我幾句，我全當聽狗吠。然而他未多表現出一分异樣，只是將買好的套餐端到我面前，討好似的笑容。 41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aaquoGuDr
「還頭暈嗎？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNarQLQWFfF
我沒應他，只是側頭。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyryKRSVwxW
我也不知自己鬧什麽彆扭，但就是看不慣，這樣曖昧場景。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPcuVS7BeP
對我狠點更好，我更容易恨你，然後我們就玩完。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuSVqxSuZ0
「獄寺？」 煩不煩啊你。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRhQ0BMGhy
不要總是用這種語氣叫我的名字。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaMji6RTPb
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「獄寺怎麽不吃？是不喜歡人多麼…沒辦法，中午食堂就是這樣。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3ZDQtgDrW
「不過爲了吃美食，總是要犧牲點呢。」 41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOmp1pqUqb
他把自己碗裏的蝦肉球都夾給我， 「獄寺喜歡吃這個吧？吶，都給你。」　41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpDMMiEIVJ
再沒力氣和他作對。我閉上眼睛，緩緩別過頭。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LV801Q4Fy
心裏絲絲縷縷的酸澀……41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡws6o6klsde
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山本……你可不可以試著，這樣講給我聽？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kXFedd6pl
『都給你。你想要的，想從我這裡拿走的都可以給你。』41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmvLMXjT8a
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儘管我知道一切根本不可能如此發生。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RzyyM21ki
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「我不餓，你吃你的，不用管我。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgh76OFnSUD
既然無法回應我，那就不要再給我希望。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcUetBIMY8
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我乾脆放下筷子，將視線挪至走動的人群。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSC5JYDBnSL
能感覺到氣氛由盛至衰逐漸尷尬起來，他也只好低頭默默扒飯。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7mJduD0Dw
幾個風紀委員估計是記住了我的長相，路過我身邊的時候能感覺到敵意。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJR0HBZ4lOj
「說起來。雲雀沒怎麼樣吧。」 我沒頭沒腦竟然要問這個？！41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw78QRyL5sC
他啞然。過了好一會兒才講， 「沒事了，傷……恢復得差不多了。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfl68sejKI
有那麽嬌氣？！我記得自己下手很輕的，因為心有它顧。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaka3uDdJI9
看著山本一臉五官凝聚的苦惱狀，忍不住一笑。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHehMcJf7c3
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這個白癡，因為戀愛的事情開始會察言觀色了嗎？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryb6FpBKlH
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緊接著是更深的沉默。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqewSMIZtTj
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41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhdF6pTFdd
「我肋骨都好了呢！」 他突然轉移話題， 「你看，我又活動自如了！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfh29dOspp8
「不要得意忘形啦混蛋快坐好。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsaJu9BMYh
「那次被雲雀修理的夠嗆啊！不過都是因為我吸煙的錯啦…」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrj9z61xE8
吸煙？你已經開始吸烟了麼…41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0T2eER0hz
靠！是誰天天雞婆似叫我戒煙的！41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEma9Kbfztu
爲什麽你也吸煙了……你在煩惱些什麽？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEU1gf4TKf
同時煙民，或許那幷不是因爲煙的味道有多麼誘惑。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4Hcfderzg
只是人會空虛，需要一種習慣性動作填補這空白。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPSEjFTchF
你這麼做，是因為空虛還是什麽？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJzMDaqc8V
你已經堅定決心，不再做棒球手了？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUI9GgsM3C
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……41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B4NpD0dak
看他手舞足蹈滑稽的樣子想要逗我笑。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKitjmbSYl
更是心酸似吃了一顆梅。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBEMFzqfEJ
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我正思索著，突然迎面他的手撲上來。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzAQip2MBv
「獄寺，你傷好重。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqHdQwCjwK
我嚇得本想往後一撤，身體卻僵硬在原地。任憑他揉我沒搭理的亂髮。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tcdliFVdm
「雲雀手勁兒大，你小心被他傷到要害。」 41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwsxpbM7rX
你這是放馬後炮吧，而且真正傷到要害的不是你麼？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQH5xTMQEfR
「……你…背還疼麼？」 我故作冷漠的語調。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ57PzhVZa6
「獄寺終于肯說話啦，來吃飯吧！」 41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpe2Jl0ndpY
他又將筷子遞到我面前。「我沒事噢！這幾天休息好著呢，大補了幾頓。現在十萬火急的想要運動啊唉！」 說著還不忘展示他肱二頭肌。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfv46epnRA1
「那就不要再在風紀混了，打棒球去。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAliYEjio1
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5O8QdH91qZ
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4bJ2O6egq
……41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZceyxMOgRS
我不自主講出這句，事後才意識到不自然。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yvTlgzVOC
山本瞳孔一縮，結結巴巴支吾了一下， 「之前我問獄寺…」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtasOCbTjzH
「你根本早就自己决定好了吧！」 41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWorSOH1kiG
一股怒氣竄上心頭，我拍案而起。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37JQDBsUhF
我那些都是謊話！你根本就是爲了找個契機給自己一個正當理由而已！41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgxFRMy6mQ
「根本就是你自己！抽煙喝酒！參加幫派！裝什麽受傷！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciEV4BLYKw
「獄、獄寺？……冷靜啊……」 41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nVQcyfZGT
他慌張的拉我，顯露出為難的樣子。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQ3gH102OC
周圍的人紛紛瞧向我們這邊，醜惡的嘴臉在看熱鬧。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBKhCh4WRL
包括掩藏在人群中的黑衣男人。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22m4bUjnCW
雲雀恭彌，你他媽個混蛋。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9psZzJYWmw
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJdkNFM2OH
打與不打，對我意義不大。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KgVTkcY5C
然而看不到你與棒球的結伴，我的心變得空蕩。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS92VO1ZhhM
縱使被他人鄙視，那些東西卻是我的寶貝。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKjd1h8emT
山本武，你又一次成功逼迫我煩躁起來。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4l43iY16c6
頭皮撓出血肉，骨胳也吱吱喳喳跟著開始叫囂起來。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmFpUxUfEY
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他體味到我怒氣，沒再講話。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM21xeD4tta
四目相對的時候，我好想擁緊他。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cAos5STAL
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqON2QIR1y
他像是雨，倘若可以感受到這濕潤，自己也會像是草木在放晴後的生長，一夜間長大麼？不過也許他會忘記了吧，那時候的風那時候的雲，那時候的光影嘈雜。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ysNbmkISh
儘管那麼認真的生氣過迷茫過、隱忍過受傷過，隨著時間流逝笑著回想起來，也許在這個過程中連記憶也會漸漸消失吧。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vSvCsfFcI
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4JZ1Iqo8J
但是那時候，我的確是在那裡存在過的。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCu3TfWgIB
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41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmDTixXFAo
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xSwiSUead
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlvu2GHReo
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmjK2Wz3nm
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSwqgbRMP6
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8x2Bid6eV
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoU9ujeCyX
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfJ5jb1uKf
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IpuhjAjIA
（未完待續）