Ganondorf rose high above the young Hero, laughing maniacally as he elevated, "You dare challenge me, young Hero of Time? All your effort--for naught!"
"My body," Link said, drawing the Master Sword, "is ready!"
"Well my body is Reggie!" Ganondorf replied thunderously, summoning thunderous lightning to match the mood, the flew down and stabbed Link, who was trying to use the quick menu to grab a potion to enhance his damage output, but the Wii Remote hated him, "Ha! I killed you, Link!"
Link fell, but just as Ganondorf began to try taking the Triforce of Courage from Link's hand, all the lights started flickering, "Ganondorf," an announcer shouted, "Link had a second to take his place if he fell, everyone, give it up for Reggie Fils-aime!"
"Well, I also have a second!" Ganondorf waited for the announcer, who finished his sentence.
"And his name is: John Cena!"
Suddenly John Cena fell down from the sky and left a mark in the ground and wiped the dust from his shoulder, and, in the style of the Smash series, words splattered onto the screen, "John will Cena you later."
"Ha," Reggie chuckled, "'Cena?" Is that a pun on "see", because you failed at making a Smash line."
In that moment another set of words splattered on the screen, and it said, "Reggie's or not, here he is!"
"Is that a pun of-" before Ganondorf could finish, Reggie used Localization to make him babble like a child.
"Now Ganondorf was enormous," Reggie gestured to Ganondorf, who was staring at the ground in shock, "but now...now he's smol, Ganondorf's a smol bean, and not like the magic beans from OoT that grow into enormous plants, nope, he's just going to be a smol bean that makes kids cry if it mixes with the mashed potatoes."
"Now it's time for the seconds to combat!" the Smash announcer announced, "fight!"
Reggie stared at John and picked up a Wii remote, 'But not just any Wii remote," Reggie said, shaking it at John with an impish smirk on his face, "this is a Wii Motion Plus, so much better than the original, it has the Plus built in, so you don't need that silicon jacket with the Plus glued to it, I mean, who wants to lock and unlock that thing just for batteries?"
"Man, I thought that's what the Wii Battery Charger TM was for!"
Somehow they got into an argument and Reggie pointed at him, "That's it, let's settle this in Smash!"
Meanwhile Link stood up and sighed, "I don't always die, but when I do, I get revived by a pink ball of fluff, now where's Ganondorf...oh, the seconds are fighting...I want to interrupt them, but-"
"Just do it! Don't let you plot just be plot, make it happen, just," the mysterious voice shouted, "do it!"
"You're right, I have to just do it!"
Meanwhile Ganondorf was waiting in the battlefield, when he saw Link he turned to his minions, "We need to build a wall to keep out Link's allies!"
And so they did, and it was Link versus every boss from every timeline, all ten billion of them.
"Ha, I love this," Link whipped out his MP3 Player and Attack on Titan's theme song played, and the wall instantly shattered, "I love it so much, that this meme fills me with Determination, my Hearts have been replenished and my game is saved!"
The two then clashed after striking steel against steel, Ganondorf severed Link's hand from his wrist, "Now, there's something I'm about to reveal to you...I am...John Cena!"
"That's impossible!" Link cried, then used Farore's Wind to escape.
"If only you knew the Power of the Meme, one does not simply use Farore's Wind to escape." Ganondorf pulled Link back into the battle and was about to kill him when John Cena and Reggie appeared.
"Sorry, Ganondorf, but I like this game too much to let you win." John explained, picking up Link's severed hand, still clutching the Master Sword, and flinging it at Ganondorf, landing right between his eyes.
And then Sheik showed up, "Everybody, I want to tell you something."
"What is it, oh mysterious Sheikah named Sheik?" everybody ever never asked.
"My name is Zelda."
"You've been in three games with this alter ego," Ganondorf said, rolling his eyes, "tell me again how you even have a secret identity."
"Much sick, very burn." Zelda scoffed.
"Actually, it's true," the audience replied, "I know this because I haz the internet."
"And yet, you still ask," Zelda replied, "'what if Zelda was a guy, didn't wear a green dress, and Peach didn't get captured by Ganondorf?'"
The audience thought about this and nodded, "It would be strange, indeed."
The galaxy facepalmed and everyone went home for sodas.
Author's Notes: Did I do a good, Maria?
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