魔鬼的僕人《隱。衣》（假冒的一日女） - 《台版色戒/冰。雪》（一）

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伉哥哥

聽說中國祭出利台政策統台欸

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哥

那到時候

台灣親中的結果

人民不會有自由了啦

哥

危不危險

躲家裡算了啦

為甚麼

我瘋了似的一直講

不是偶然啦

我告訴你

小說喔

寫給你看的啦

讀者只有您一位啦

我只在乎你啦

您很慘啦

躲起來好惹啦

我保護你啦

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拜託啊

如果您

真的販毒又吸毒

以後你喔

死去哪啦

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啊那你

再繼續給我喝

再繼續因為酒錢不夠拼命惡性循環

你喔

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台灣都是個沒有明天的地方了

我全家為何掛了

台商的下場啦

懂了嗎？

整個世界可不可怕

原諒我吧！

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被神追著跑啦

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我嚇死的啦

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所以

公開個鬼！

哥哥

秘密逃走啦

知道嗎？

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我嚇死的啦

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我全家

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台商的下場

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我恨透了啦

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你以為

我瘋了嗎

對

我也不知道

為甚麼

我喔

瘋得莫名奇妙啊

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因為

看到你

深深地

被困住了

我真的是

受不了了

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簡訊

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簡直是玩命

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去給真相吧

你媽啦

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懂嗎？

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我們以後

躲在主頁

就好了

訊息我不傳了

知道嗎

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你那些亂七八糟的朋友

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死了算了

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知不知道

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所以我不會跟你連絡

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就是說

您沒有一定要聽我的啦

懂了嗎

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我看太多了

我自然是這樣囉唆

懂了嗎

我全家滅頂的後遺症啦！

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我不捨得

您

啊

不明不白的迷失了

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我報您

救命之恩而已啦

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我也真的感覺到

你是誕生在甚麼鬼家庭啊

您的家人都不管你嗎

拜託啊

任著你這樣嗎

我家都已經讓我很傻眼了

啊那你家也沒好到哪

我喔

沒見過您們這種

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你在外面這麼慘

你家人喔

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我簡直變臉啦

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希望這樣

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我只要你啦

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威向也回我了

我終於真的定稿了

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希望...

全台滅頂前

至少證明我們存在過！

啊

可悲啊

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全台滅頂

我抓以色列來陪葬啦

中國我就認了啦

去死啦

給我滾啦

把我的家人還給我啦

真正邪惡的

是以色列吧！

滾！

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冥城皇后的悲哀啊

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有一天

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可能被消音

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真正在乎

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所以

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童話故事的謊言啦

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只是說

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那就是

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誰不是這樣啊

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啊不然喔

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啊

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全世界的人

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我躲在主頁

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就好啦

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那你說呢

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所以

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可是

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911

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玫君古字譯

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紅色的美玉

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君王

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暗示帝王之家

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那是中國的姓名啊

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台灣

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哪來的帝王

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國文在幹嘛

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台灣的名字

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都很難聽吧

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小一時

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台語都被改掉嘛

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台灣話是鬼話嘛

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退出聯合國是對的嘛！

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中國你是拿牠有輒

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中國貪心了點

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而已

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比北韓好吧

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那美國槓北韓

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台灣

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親中也沒差啦

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日本是跟誰都沒仇的樣子

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到時候

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釣魚台牠是有輒喔

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媒體亂七八糟

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電影只能比喻

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律法不合理

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弔詭

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是故意的啦

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被騙走的小孩

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倒霉啦

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啊你又不能把她他關在家裡

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生來幹嘛啦

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都女生啦

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賤

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你們男生就很倒霉

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還竟然

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要被女生逼婚

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死惹算惹

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為甚麼

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我天生跟女生不合

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我就

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無法跟女生相處欸

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我簡直是

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所以我無法說話啊

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女生好可怕

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是男生比較會忌妒

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還是女生啊

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所以

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為甚麼吃善惡果的不是亞當啊

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所以為甚麼神說

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女生天生要受生產之苦啊

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應該說

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女生自做自受啦

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可是

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倒霉是小孩吧

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欸

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生了才知道

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回不去的痛欸

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那誰又是早知道

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怨誰啊

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神死惹算惹啦

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都那隻鬼

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蛇啦

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這是聖經說的喔

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那是甚麼意思啊

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神自己搞出來的啦

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所以為何

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亞當聽夏娃的

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所以

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男生天生就是比較良善

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懂嗎

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為何古時重男輕女嘛

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我如果有小孩

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兒子我會很擔心欸

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女兒喔

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我

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是能跟她說甚麼

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妳能說嗎

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所以為何林奕函的母親說

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性教育沒得教育啊

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有甚麼辦法

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因此

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亦函的事

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沒下文了啊

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那她死了欸

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你說呢

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會不會生氣啊

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那當初

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楊又穎

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也是受不了霸凌

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都是女生才會罷凌人家吧

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這樣欺負一個軟弱的藝人

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在幹嘛

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朋友都死去哪

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報警不就好了

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這...

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我氣死的啦

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我不是普通的火欸

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死了算了

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那一天

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我就感覺

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您

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你送我回到康家時

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我不知道欸

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你喔

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我感覺到

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你說我比較需要快樂

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您還有包垘

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跟爸爸吵架了

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又不能不回家

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你那一天

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我有感覺

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為甚麼

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我不是當天跟黃先生說

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我是早就說了

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您好像

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有話想跟我說的樣子

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反正

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如果一個人

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你聽到

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他所有表面上的陳述

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您是甚麼心情

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妳真的愛他

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會不會擔心

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愛是甚麼

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或許

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為何一個人會總是離不開一個人

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你愛上

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對方的傷痕啊

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殺人魔

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又如何

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也沒有

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真的殺妳啊

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所以

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因為

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殺人魔

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會有傷痕嗎

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愛上殺人魔的

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妳你需要擔心她他嗎？

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為何有些人

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天生不良善

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基因吧！

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欸

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體質！！

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我喔...！

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病到...

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成仙惹啦

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我

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頭腦

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算惹

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我喔

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所以我頭腦會不會爆炸

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您救了我吧！

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欸

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我

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惡夢一場

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您只有

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兩種可能

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一個就是

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你單純的說不出來

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所以您早就極限了

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才會這樣對我

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另一個就是

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你真的在求救啦

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第三種可能是

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你真的說不出來

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所以

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也只好

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求救吧！

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所以

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整個過程

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對你來說

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又何嘗好受

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因為我在乎

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所以不放棄啊

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我無法

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離開你

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因為我愛上你的傷痕啊

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懂了嗎

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所以

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你是不是很危險

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聽了你的故事

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我只能說

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欸

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我早就

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飄走了啦

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如果你從頭到尾

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是騙人的

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那你的表情總不會騙我吧

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所以

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我只有相信你真的遇到困難啦

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你媽都不管你嗎

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女朋友

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這樣欺負你

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欸

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你不回家

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你媽都不會找你喔

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那你爸又死去哪

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跟我一樣啦

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我家也沒好到哪啦

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所以我搞不清楚

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小孩是生來幹嘛的

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妳真的

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面對自己的小孩

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保護她他都來不及了

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怎麼會這樣呢

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所以

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爸爸媽媽也不是聖人啊

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她他們

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可能自己都

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軟弱吧

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所以為何

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您很牽掛您的家人啊

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我聽了您的故事

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幫忙你都來不及了

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這也算是

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另一種愛情吧！

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每個不同的交往對象

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都不會是相同的

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愛的程度

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每個對象不相同罷了

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還是那句老話

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體質！！

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所以

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跑掉的也不用傷心了啦

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知道了吼！！

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我

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公開有甚麼好處啊

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她是藝人

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女生喔

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女生喔

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死了算了

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就特別容易受到傷害

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啊可是

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痛死了也情願啦

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愛到盡

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仍是站到死

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不就結了

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所以

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怨誰

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所以我說

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為何你想不開

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因為誤解

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你可能

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無法公開

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你的女朋友受不了啦

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拜託啊

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我有甚麼辦法

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所以你很傷心嘛

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啊她就

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沒人跟她說啊

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朋友都死去哪

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全部都有鬼啦

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藝人最悲慘了啦

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粉絲死惹算了啦

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都是經濟人害的啦

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你說呢

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直接講開

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我無法公開啊

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不是不愛妳了

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妳也可以有妳的選擇啊

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兩性教育不過如此

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我真的

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不知道

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家政教育的教授都死去哪

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沒人跳出來

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虧它還是賢妻良母系

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我簡直變臉！

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所以我鬼扯到完

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小說啦

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我氣瘋的

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全世界沒有好到哪！！！！！

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所以

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完美是不是很可怕

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誰真的

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完美了

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我再怎麼看起來

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無懈可擊

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也只是一個病人

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我的基因我的體質

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早就決定我的命運

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世界一向很公平

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人喔

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我認了啦

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所以呢

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隨便！！

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所以呢

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愛到盡了

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你還會對我有興趣嗎

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只會覺得我很囉唆吧！

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那就聽歌吧

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老夫老妻圓寂的下場！

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啊所以我是你好朋友不就好惹...！

吼！

體。質！！！！！

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哥哥...

我現在都知道

您很愛我了！

哥

對不起

我不是一開始

就完全知道

甚麼是愛

您很特別

是您

我才最後

真的甚麼都知道！

哥...！

體會您給我的一切

從此被您關起來的我

是最幸福的！

哥哥

我想

您早就知道

怎麼保護您自己

欸

可是我

不是天生就聰明

哥哥

我也是擔心你

才會這麼囉唆！

對不起魅

你給我的震撼實在是太大了

我100萬字的小說

全部是寫給你的

您驚不驚人

我只能說

是我莫大的恩寵吧！

謝謝您

永遠不回應我！

從此我被您關起來！

我很幸福！

謝謝你！！

想著你的我

永遠是快樂的

謝謝！

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我會用音樂

思念你

謝謝！

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哥哥...

我真的

必須休息了

真的累了

我會再來看你！

我也想要

一個人

躲起來

玩算命軟體

我會不好意思魅

我殺青了

啊

我不得不配服我自己

所以啊

我是病人剛好啦

啊不然

我被忌妒死了

我還活得下來啊

這世界太可怕惹啊

懂嗎？

我休息去了

暫掰！！

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哥哥是藝人吧

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我有甚麼辦法

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我幫你澄清啊

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百萬字的小說

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只是我沒寫

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藝人的下場

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因為誰都知道你是伉哥哥

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你的經濟人不會放過你吧

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你不要告訴我

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博達創意行銷是你的經濟人喔

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我簡直變臉

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潘先生喔

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他冷血得要死

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我知道

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中和

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我發到掛了

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他感謝張敏芳好了啦

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我告訴你啦

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他邪惡透頂了

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我就病到掛啦

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你給我消音閉嘴啦

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經濟人最邪惡了

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我讓你嚐嚐病人的可怕啦

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碟對碟你門都沒有啦

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神我都掐死了

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耶穌基督我是客氣你了

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真正的藝人泥沒見過啦

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我媽就是啦

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去死啦

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我告訴所有人

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精神分裂的可怕

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所以喔

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再欺負伉哥哥

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以色列被我殺死了啦

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所以

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經濟人我便宜你了

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日本的更邪惡啦

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挖出來都不能看啦

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粉絲死惹算惹

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你要的錢

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我給你就是了

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爭這些

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我何必呢

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認了而已啦

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沒人知

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張敏芳從天而降

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法人對不起我啦

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我有甚麼辦法

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不知情的狀況下

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悲哀又可怕吧

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阿不然

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哪來的劇情啊

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藝人喔

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不是人當的啦

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連

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真正國與國之間

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都弔詭的要死了

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邪惡又算甚麼啦

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總比

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戰爭好吧！

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電影也不敢亂演啦

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任何文字

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某種程度都是騙人的啦

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所以

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聰明人

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誰都不會去得罪

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冷默最安全！！

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盡信書不如無書

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所以為何

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教授全死光了

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美國自行負責吧

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這樣

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天下反而太平啦

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終於明白

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中國硬要台灣是為何了吧

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欸

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台灣大家忌妒死了

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不是國家欸

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以色列喔

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瘋了吧

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泥怨神吧

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所以聯合國之首美國沒事就被恐攻

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啊

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命啦

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所以

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國與國之間

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或許冷漠最安全

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中國是台灣的朋友啦！

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所以喔

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以色列恨透神

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耶穌被判死

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美國的聖經喔

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自求多福吧！

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啊不然

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你耶穌帶走好了

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我

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我

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啊

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我

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啊她說

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您

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就好了

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哼哼啦

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得意....！

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懂！！

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所以我覺得

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我很難過

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難過

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話講清楚就好了

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怨誰

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我

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旁人坐視不管

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朋友喔

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算惹

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一定要等到美玲都走了

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啊

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算惹

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因為是藝人

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某人硬要跟你傳誹聞

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妳又能說甚麼

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消音

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男友又不爽惹

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承認

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演藝生涯毀了

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所以彼此能不能

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心照不宣的演戲就好了

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啊

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匪聞對象爽就好惹

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不是很簡單嗎

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認了

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不是嗎

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長太美

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怨神啦

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所以

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整篇作品

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男女主角慘兮兮

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所有變態粉絲

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都經濟人啦

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讀者爽就好惹啦

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所以...！

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嫁禍給神這一招

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嘿

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誰都沒話講惹吧！！

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神喔...！

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主整我的下場.*-/@

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所以

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伉哥哥

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我不是一個正常的女孩

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我怎麼扯

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都是一句話

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我天生的

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是這樣

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我的頭腦

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直線以外

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就分裂了

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我現在才知道

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當台灣親中以後

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藝人就不必了

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知道嗎

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欸

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我喔

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從頭到尾

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都是直線要幹嘛

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連時間都不放過我

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神僕人的下場！

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耶穌的死因啦

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躲家裡

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最安全！！

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感謝兒童福利的鬼吧！！

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台版

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傾城之戀！

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哥哥...

我也是

沒有你

我不想活了

所以...！

原諒我

好嗎？

欸

我。不。正。常！

是這樣！！

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我不是針對你

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頭腦啦

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我準備被黃先生扒皮

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我藥吃了啊

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還是沒睡意

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可是我沒事啊

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我有一定要睡嗎

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我躲去哪啦

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睡個覺也要管

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我

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吼

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氣死欸

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所以

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精神分裂的解藥就是

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頭腦永遠保持直線啊

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所以我們天生不好睡啊

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可是不睡不會死啊

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我現在沒事啊

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所以不要抱怨

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抱怨不是直線

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頭就痛啊

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抱怨不是自己打傷自己嗎

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故意氣得很變臉啊

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誇張啊

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矯情啊

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偶爾也是需要有個小句點啦

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可是

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總不能因為

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玩得太爽了

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就故意

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反反覆覆不肯停吧

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算了

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不要太誇張過份就好惹

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人沒有百分百啦

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情緒穩定就好啦

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連這樣

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都要練習欸

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講話

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不是每個人

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做得到敞開欸

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所以小孩

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是不是

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媽媽都跟她他

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講話話

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小孩不會敞開

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就完了

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小一寫字

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最痛苦了

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騙她他啊

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老師教你畫字

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小孩

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手抓筆

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口述

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左左右右上面一點點下面一些些擺中間一點

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對對了

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這是妳你的作品

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拍個照好了

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小孩以後覺得寫字很好玩

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再教她他

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認筆劃

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再教她他

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字義

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啊不然

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月考掛惹啦

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家長要死要活了啦

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煩死了

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小朋友很慘

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居然還要造句

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還要用背的

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考個大頭

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老師喔

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欸

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還要把句子解釋成童語

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教她他背

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學生會問妳你

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不合邏輯的問題

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我們都要聽得懂

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然後用她他理解的邏輯

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校錯

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啊不然

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小孩也掛了

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因為她他不懂

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那

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重點是甚麼

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邏輯的校正最重要吧！

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啊不然

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句子要怎麼背

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有的小孩

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邏輯凹不過來

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就要通知家長

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看兒童心智科了啦

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誰說小一最好帶

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這種話講得出來

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安親班

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算惹啦

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邪惡透頂

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早知道

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幼教系的下場

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我第一次去安親班

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被小孩整吧

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主任只會兇我

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欸

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我

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鬼啦

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我甘脆說

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我的人生

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從小被整到大啦

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所以

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我是能說嗎

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可是

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這是重點

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我這個沒頭腦的人

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難怪黃先生把我關起來

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我現在

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知道了

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所以我覺得

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出版社

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才會說

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奕函姐

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那時候

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不適合出版啊

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可是

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為何不幫她校稿

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為何不協助她

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那

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明知她的問題出在哪

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為何不說

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心理諮商都在幹嘛

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然後人死了

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還要被罷凌

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爸媽又死去哪啦

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我都哭了欸

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所以就是說

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作家要練習

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甚麼適合入鏡

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甚麼只能消音

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阿不然

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作者鐵定被罷凌！

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所以我告訴你

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到時候

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我就說

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我是病人

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我才會

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全部都說出來了

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我很抱歉

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所以

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言下之意

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罷凌我的就給我看看好惹

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精神病人

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她清醒

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最可怕

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所以

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精神醫學都讓她他吃藥嘛

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不睡也不會死啊

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我覺得

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我的醫師

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還是說

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心理師

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跟社工室

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真的有鬼嗎

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這太弔詭

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我的自傳

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只有八里知道欸

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我跟你說

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我的心理師

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很驚訝

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她覺得

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我的頭腦

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不像病人

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可是

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她都做不到

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所以

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精神病人還是自保吧！

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啊不然

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妳那麼出名

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要幹嘛

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所以

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以後我勇敢一點

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寫錯就寫錯

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我是病人啊

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我道歉

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你要罷凌我甚麼

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應該妳只會被反罷凌吧！

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我裝傻就好了

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我在小說裡

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認真的很合理

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欸

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恩

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反正就是練習

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不要搞出矛盾的鬼

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就沒事了

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啊不然

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準備反設計回來了

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欸

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所以

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作者

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最好被整得慘兮兮

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欸

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沒辦法

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所以耶穌那隻鬼

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就被我整啦

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所謂的嫁禍給神

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我再狂也沒罪惹啦

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寫作的方法

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筆。記！

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所以

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不要怕

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甚麼都扯出來

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但是嫁禍給自己

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就夠了

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太好惹

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我下一篇小說

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<練。習。說。話>

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算惹啦

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我邪惡透頂惹啦

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我喔

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巴不得把伉哥哥吃惹啦

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我承認啦

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啊不然

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我是所謂的

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跟誰報告啊

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吼憂

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就我啦

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纏著人家的是我啦

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吼憂

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我變態

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我氣死的

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伉哥哥不要我

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我就瘋了啦

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我哭了

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我徹底冰寒

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誰都不要怨我

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感謝殺害阿姨的法人吧

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讓我瞬間往生的

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是法人吧

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耶穌基督也沒有好到哪

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我傷不起

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因此我是直線

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罷凌我的

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很抱歉

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我不正常

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對不起！

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算惹

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寫字來發洩啦

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反正

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我永遠是直線就對了啦

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我可能

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那個時空

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很難了

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因為

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分裂了

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我不正常

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對不起

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原諒我

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不要管我

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精神病人最可怕

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看到了沒

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所以就不要再怪別人了

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知道嗎

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人家怎麼會知道

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妳的頭腦是直線呢

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所以嘛

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欸

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自己要慢慢練習

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不要怪罪別人

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知道嗎

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因為

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精神病人才是最可怕最傷人的

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所以

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我說

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信哥被我汙蔑到完

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是我自己在乎

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傷不起

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然後

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即使變臉了

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也無法不在乎啊

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欸

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其實信哥也瘋了吧

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他是又好到哪

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他可能

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就跟你一樣的心情啊

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欸

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所以

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傷不起的

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最可怕

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所以

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我要怨誰

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我最恐怖了

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是我自己

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還沒發現

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我恐怖的地方在哪吧！

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所以

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人都一樣

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不會生來就先認識自己的

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沒有旁人

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哪來自己

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都是一面鏡

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要很感謝伉哥哥吧

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他陪了妳一年欸

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妳有想過他的心情嗎

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所以

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可怕的是我吧

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我

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欸

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知道了

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對不起啦

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我在幹嘛

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欸

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太離譜了

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伉哥哥其實很愛我

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我都沒有發現

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欸

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我也是啊

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所以

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欸

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別這樣

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我現在才知道

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信哥為何這樣問我

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欸

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他很難過啦

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欸唷

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他沒時間

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其實就是他最痛苦的地方啊

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啊那

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以後

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我

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欸

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我只想

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昏死算了

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伉哥哥

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可能就會好一點了吧

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哥哥非常非常愛我而已啦

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跟我一樣嘛

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可是我覺得

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哥哥前女友

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比較可憐欸

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妳說呢

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哥哥喝了幾年的酒呢

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欸

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我的天啊

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我簡直

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難以想像

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哥哥的傷痕

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所以最可怕的是我

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我一下下就掛了

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欸

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拜託

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所以...！

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反而

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我讓哥哥最難過

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欸

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那我

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寫甚麼小說嘛

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吼憂

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我是小朋友

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幼稚魅

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吼

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知道了

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我愛得深

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傷得也是最深的

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所以

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從頭到尾

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我才是

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最傷人的

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知道了

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我終於明白

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哥哥為甚麼

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會這樣對我了

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欸

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知道了

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我難免錯亂

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又能像母親剛強

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又跟小妹妹一樣軟弱

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啊憂

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我

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頭都痛了

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哥哥應該是

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直接把我抓去

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化療了吧

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欸唷

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所以我昏到現在喔

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甚麼

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哥哥

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守在我身邊

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只因為

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我進加護病房喔

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所以

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寫出這麼可怕的小說喔

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喔

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我病到現在還沒醒

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我不知道茫去哪了

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可是

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真的欸

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我就寫到我死

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真的欸

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很多人

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更慘欸

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如果說

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連一個小孩

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講話都是要被引導的

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欸

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很多人

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連話都講不清楚

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罷凌別人的

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其實才是最軟弱的

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所以

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哥哥傷得比誰都深！

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啊

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知道了

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所以我覺得

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平心而論

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大家都一樣慘！

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那我沒事

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就把自己抓來整

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啊

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太好惹

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信哥催生一位作家

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因為他

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欸

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前女友的傷痕

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我要幫他澄清！

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我無所謂！

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所以嘛

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我整自己

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就好啦

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現在才知道欸

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太好了！！

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所以

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我是比潘先生

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好到哪

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我竟然說人家冷血

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我簡直不要命了

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我這個

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假冒偽善的傢伙

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是又好到哪

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<練習罵人！>

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哥哥

我跟你說

如果我

殺人不用時間的時候

不是您造成的

因為我冰到底了

我是個

任性的女孩

不是誰的錯

不是針對你

知道嗎

我自己

高興這樣

我說過啊

我最邪惡我最爽！

然後會笑

知道嗎？

我很怕又嚇到你

反正您別理我

我都說隨我扯了

我自己

都管不住自己的頭腦啦

我不正常

哥哥別被我嚇到

我的個性就是這樣啦

知道喔！！

所以哥

您欠疚甚麼

我比你兇好幾倍

所以我只好把耶穌基督抓來整嘛

誰像我這麼變態啊

所以

我的情緒與你無關

我自己

玩得很爽啦

我光想就爽惹

所以

我鬼扯到完

拿自己當範本

人好可憐！

不是針對你喔

我也是

一次一次在練習

表達

是這樣！！

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所以啊

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我的寫作風格變惹啊

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練習鬼扯啊

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我扯給你啊

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人人躲家裡鬼扯

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投稿就賺到死惹啦

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我拼了

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誰說台灣好欺負

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哼！

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中國啦

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我會氣死！！

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然後啊

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我越來

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越愛笑了

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欸

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我喔

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回轉像小孩

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我小時候

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很會玩的

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欸

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都我媽啦

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我背書背到掛掉的

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對不起欸

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我亂七八糟的

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不是你

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知道喔

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所以哥

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玉晴媽媽不見了

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要怎麼說呢

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我沒有力氣再是玉晴媽媽了啦

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她簡直是

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累死的吧

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簡直是

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被虐待到完

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吼

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媽好辛苦喔

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我家喔

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變態！！

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媽媽38歲就走了

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啊憂

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我才知道

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我天生

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長不大

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也不會老啊

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我其實

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沒錯啦

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可是

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心智外表都不像啊

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硬要我長大

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我就掛了

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好可怕

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媽媽....

她這個人格...

欸

我好像

也....

不知道欸

有點怕怕的！！

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所以

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哥哥

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我

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自言自語般地跟你說話啊

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所以

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精神病人

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練習敞開

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病就好啦！！

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我知道了

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要把玉晴媽

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抓回來

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只有想辦法

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去惹她

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真的悲哀啊

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人家本來脾氣很好的

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可是媽說

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掐死神她就爽了

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我也沒辦法欸

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只能說

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她生病

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自小承受的壓力

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是人家的好幾倍

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一直進出醫院

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誰受得了

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所以她功能全掛了

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可是哥

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我跟你說

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我是玫君啦

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我不是玉晴

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我

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不會覺得自己有像玉晴媽

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這麼虛弱欸

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所以我覺得

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玉晴媽

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應該是

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情緒上受不了了才會掛掉啦

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可是

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我現在

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我

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沒睡覺啊

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沒事欸

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所以

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我當玫君比較快樂！

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玉晴....

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啊憂

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算惹算惹

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鬼啦！！

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太可怕惹...！

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我練習

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切割人格好了！！

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我才知道

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我註定分裂

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我長不大

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可是還是硬要到38

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欸

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很慘.....！

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啊

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我知道了

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玉晴媽媽要怎才能復活

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神讓我看到

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你就是愛她

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才會講反話啊

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啊不然

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要怎麼表達

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愛的強度呢！

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欸

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哥哥

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家庭溝通

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水喔！！

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所以哥哥

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我的頭腦

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你說呢

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不要被我嚇到！

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我也是

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這一刻

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才知道欸

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啊憂

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哥

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您

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不要太理我

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清楚嗎！！

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但我沒有不要你！

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我的頭腦

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欸

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我自己

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瞬間會醒！！

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啊

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哥

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一個人

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為何說出惡毒的話

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因為瘋掉了

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只是沒分裂

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因為

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咬牙切齒的恨很爽！

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發洩啊

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欸

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甚麼啦

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拜託

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這樣是好到哪

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被人誤會成

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脾氣壞！

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欸

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精神醫學是給我混去哪

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我瘋過

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我就變臉嘛

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然後不是很惡毒嗎？

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因為就爽惹嘛

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啊

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因為

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至極

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令人感到驕傲

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所以

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口出惡言的人

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驕傲！

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就殺人欸

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啊

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哥

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甚麼世界啊

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啊那我

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變臉時

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我都在幹嘛

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我為何

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啊

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耶穌基督殺人啊

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那甚麼使我變臉

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哥哥回不來

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吼憂

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販毒啊

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那我殺誰

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神啊

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所以

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我

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欸

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啊

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至少不是殺人吧！！

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人的情緒無法釋放

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罵神吧！

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那些人

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罵神就沒事了

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啊

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甚麼世界啊

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神啊

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泥皮給我繃緊一點！

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神都被我掐死了

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耶穌這個名詞

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只是空氣啦

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哼！

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以色列剛剛好而已啦

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判死嘛

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哼

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逃過一劫

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邪惡！！

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所以我台灣配合演出啊

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啊死亡不存在啊

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耶穌是活來幹嘛

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啊那

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基督教的全部去死啦！

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爽惹！！

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神僕人往生的下場！

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哥

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我好多了

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我廢定義啦

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頭腦忙

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哥哥別理我！

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所以

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謝謝你

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我誤會你了

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讓您傷心了

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對不起...！

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哥哥

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簡訊啦

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補上去

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對不起欸

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看我以後還敢不敢傳給你

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嚇死人了

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簡直玩命

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鬼啦

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我會嚇死

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哥

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我不聰明

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我最怕人家誤會我惹

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我沒頭腦而已

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嚇得我半死

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哥

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嚇死人了

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您的簡訊我都完成了

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誰欺負你

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我臉書也借你躲

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恩

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你的部份我弄好了

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那

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至於我

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廢定義

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廢在我臉書上

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我也廢好了

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找時間

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全稿貼出就好了

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啊

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我一生只有一部小說

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因為不是凡事適合公開

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所以

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關於我所簽掛的

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以後掛臉書上

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備份在自己信箱裡

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被美國偷走也不怕！

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啊

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我喔

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暫時完成工作了

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哥...

難道

您真的是藝人？

您的女友

難道被設計

所以...

啊

藝人真的很可悲

欸

所以

您只好

假裝自己在販毒

女友才會原諒你！

啊憂

天啊

誰這樣對你啦

吼

拜託

湯鎮業跟翁美玲也這樣欸

欸

我喔

吼...！

那難怪你不能說！

所以

小說剛好嫁禍給販毒之人

欸

...

因為

在一起

七年八年很久欸

還會因為沒時間回不來分手

我簡直不可思議！

所以

哥

你真的是被搞的

欸

又不能說

欸

我喔...！

到底要怎麼還你清白啊

真相又不能說

欸

算惹

反正您女友看了就爽惹

欸

為了她

喝了好多年的酒

啊

原諒你惹啦

真是的

女生喔

欸

死惹算了

我覺得

她走得開

欸

吼

怎捨得...！

欸

我

啊

無法理解啦...！

反正

我還您清白了！

我幫您

把她們

找回來！

不要留下任何遺憾！

我整個小說

就是你的沒時間回不來

討論了

兩性關係的議題！

欸

希望您女友看得到重點

就是您

因為她

喝很多年的酒

欸

真是

我澄清了半天！

欸

澄清到哪去了

啊

我幫你貼道歉啟事在我臉書上

然後以後幫您登感謝狀啦

誰知道她看不看得到

欸

真的很麻煩

讓她知道您很傷心啊

她不就爽惹

欸

真是！！

欸

吼

我是要去哪裡找她啦

真是大海撈針

哥哥就是這樣

寧願自己傷心

也不願澄清

欸

我喔

難怪我變臉啦

欸

你...！

啊不管

小說如果有公開

我是雙筆名

她會上您我臉書

啊

唯一的希望了

哥...！

我盡力了

您

不要再傷心了

欸

我喔

能不講嗎

我小說

男生女生被我訓得很慘

欸

沒輒

教授都死光了

我喔

氣不過啦

原諒我欸...！

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啊憂

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我的惡夢

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總算結束了

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好可怕...！

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當小朋友

比較快樂

真的欸

啊憂

我不要大人我

瘋掉...！

啊

算惹

啊

大人我

被您關在主頁裡

啊

這樣想

好多了...！

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欸

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所以

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我回轉像小孩

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就是我有好轉了是嗎？

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反正

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我好像

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永遠活在2017/2018的時空

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恩...！

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好吧

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原來

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我真的被鎖喔

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原來

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阿姨早知

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我早晚

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受不了法人

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欸

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我可能

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會再次病發欸

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好可怕...！

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被哥哥關起來

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最好

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哥哥

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原諒我

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我的頭腦

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大概被基督教毀了

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我真的

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欸

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不正常

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嚇到你了

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對不起啦

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頭腦...

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欸

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差點就炸開了

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好可怕

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哥...

我該怎麼辦

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我不想離開小說情境

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因為

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滿滿地都是你

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可是

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