他的語調很淡,好像在講述一件再平常不過的事情,可是……全然不是這樣的。9Please respect copyright.PENANAsWXHZSVKyw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAgcxwBk8mU3
「你,不應該放棄,而我,也不應該影響你……去捨棄正常一生。」最後他這樣說,然後就沉默了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAaeyw1LkErB
9Please respect copyright.PENANAjedoymhrhN
「……」9Please respect copyright.PENANAh2NG878czB
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8jevqU3yMS
……9Please respect copyright.PENANAdCFL0IPF5b
9Please respect copyright.PENANAsVyKs8sP4p
愣愣的看著學長,我覺得……有點困惑。9Please respect copyright.PENANA7w3REv6ITl
9Please respect copyright.PENANAkeqH1zN9c0
其實他剛剛說的話,並不是像什麼驚雷一樣突然打醒一個人神智還是怎麼的,應該是說,那些我也想過了,不過是彼此角度與立場有點不同。9Please respect copyright.PENANAlPukckZU0k
9Please respect copyright.PENANA9WsfGPDIQS
突然發現──9Please respect copyright.PENANAJCD49gGy43
9Please respect copyright.PENANAJGS7qGDEmt
做這些事我是為了……學長,只有極小的部分是為了自己,那時候放不下的感覺是第一次在我的思維裡出現。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgPoQHYk4ZJ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAouoQRJmR9p
隨著成長,我漸漸開始更接近生老病死的周遭,幾次出任務,看見那些喪失親人、愛人的痛苦臉孔漸漸烙印在心底,那時候我就開始想,有一天……9Please respect copyright.PENANACWxExpbJSS
9Please respect copyright.PENANAaFY6GoEmle
有一天這樣事我也會面對,面對親人與有人的離開──我知道我會難過。9Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9wydKBJzw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAksDg1mMneA
而最初時候,也沒也想過什麼假如自己離開了的這種事,直到遇到那位留不住他人的女子後,才不得不意識到一直被努力忽略的,我是妖師,壽命跟人類一樣,但是學長是精靈與獸王族的混血──賽塔已經活了超過兩千年的時光,外表依然年輕,曾未衰老的一切是還能再活得很久、很久的滄桑。9Please respect copyright.PENANARHpCFvkPqt
9Please respect copyright.PENANA5lIaI55n50
那學長會活多久?9Please respect copyright.PENANAKHzq4Vd7hc
9Please respect copyright.PENANALZ0du31LlV
那個曾經的劫難我們已經一起度過,預言師再也沒有為他預言任何災害,所以可以肯定,學長將會活得比想像中的還要久。9Please respect copyright.PENANAFiKDm4hW99
9Please respect copyright.PENANARjpM5C3Ub5
我不知道精靈與獸王族血緣在交會之後誕生的生命到底能夠存在於這世上多久,從一些對話推斷至少也是幾千年吧?但我真的不知道。9Please respect copyright.PENANA0meLANQ7RA
9Please respect copyright.PENANArNFLUunSiw
而不想知道的是,我僅有百年左右的日子,到底……在學長的一生中能算得上什麼?9Please respect copyright.PENANAIzkTtVNEIR
9Please respect copyright.PENANA5trJf3kQUA
如果他是一個不那麼專情的人、如果他可以遺忘,或許事情就不值得擔心,但是他不是。9Please respect copyright.PENANAxrgj3a0DMu
9Please respect copyright.PENANAsRIsGw2H1h
雖然到接受黑山君契約之前我還一直在想,也許我不需要這麼做,甚至害怕著有一天,當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANAbWQzwadNZA
9Please respect copyright.PENANAcKETWmEi71
到現在還是不知道學長會什麼會喜歡我,就跟我也不曉得怎麼喜歡上他的一樣,不過他,如此強大、卻總是為我著想……有太多理由我可能會被他吸引,那種心跳的感覺、血液流過的脈動總為他牽引……就是不知道他到底能看上我哪點,還居然在認識不到一年的時間中,就可以為我付出生命。9Please respect copyright.PENANAU64BHVpUG2
9Please respect copyright.PENANATw2YtbHS1A
所以我害怕又不知道是否該害怕──當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANAbKk2MmPods
9Please respect copyright.PENANAvKOHPXAGbs
因為我想不透我有什麼地方直得他付出永遠。9Please respect copyright.PENANAMbnm02Fk7w
9Please respect copyright.PENANAqVmgtSYgTI
只是不願意有任何可能性看見他在漫長的年歲中寂寞,就算是我欠他的,這樣一點回報,我還付得起。9Please respect copyright.PENANAEDoTJH6K8c
9Please respect copyright.PENANAG3k5dSGjBF
不過以這些來說,一切都是想多了,很多事情不需要理由,連此刻也是,看他的眼神,我知道我這次選擇沒有錯誤。9Please respect copyright.PENANASi99Q3RWMG
9Please respect copyright.PENANAbVNkJWJqRM
……9Please respect copyright.PENANAPXhJDloilD
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4Yeenw6ati
唯一從沒有想過的是學長的想法。9Please respect copyright.PENANAdB9u2mVX1F
9Please respect copyright.PENANATUMf628I3O
如果我能改變自己的命運,如果我能找到方法留下來,學長怎麼可能不知道、辦不到。9Please respect copyright.PENANA24bxh1zLNv
9Please respect copyright.PENANAh7eYYWlfud
根本就是他不想。9Please respect copyright.PENANANSJtOsBZfY
9Please respect copyright.PENANA1OhDh0whUH
說不想好像也不太對,應該是說,他放棄了。9Please respect copyright.PENANABqF4jzAsiU
9Please respect copyright.PENANAIlnx2qjUTP
我從沒想過學長也會擔心這些,在他說出來那不長的卻難得的一段話中,我可以捕捉到這些念頭,他早想過了。9Please respect copyright.PENANA3gfOHeGggR
9Please respect copyright.PENANA2oNB42nA3s
但是比起我害怕看見親人離去,他寧願選擇放手。9Please respect copyright.PENANAyQpaDh3k1m
9Please respect copyright.PENANA7URiNdoJTA
但是比起我擔心他將不在乎我,他只是想著怎樣對我才是最好。9Please respect copyright.PENANAHQHXGiLIRX
9Please respect copyright.PENANA5JV0Ru6fni
到頭來,他還是處處為我著想,我不會去說什麼我直不直得他付出這種話,可是……這樣真的好嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAR58BcMaIWD
9Please respect copyright.PENANAjD0fKajPLX
是不是應該也有什麼事是指有我才能為學長做的,而不是一味讓我接受他的幫助、他的掛心、他……隱晦的愛情?9Please respect copyright.PENANAcSTyGK91rS
9Please respect copyright.PENANASHkMJlQAsH
真的會有嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAMoRN0UJqnJ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAKsqUmCtKba
「學長……」慢慢的,我小心翼翼的把手搭上學長肩膀,勾著那銀亮髮絲與中間垂下的一縷血色。9Please respect copyright.PENANAqePVSbxRWR
9Please respect copyright.PENANAdFLFkEYRPm
「嗯?」他的眼神,大概是不太明白我會想說什麼的樣子。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgSkZRpaoD6
9Please respect copyright.PENANAD3uOU6kjiW
這時我知道,有的,一定有什麼是我能為他做的。9Please respect copyright.PENANAEGHo1sTisc
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYw4r3aUbZd
不再需要質疑──他真的需要我,而我也需要他……9Please respect copyright.PENANA8J4YYEWL1C
9Please respect copyright.PENANAai8PpowJEI
「那個啊……」忍不住又騰出一隻手刮了一下臉,「既然你這麼想,也這麼決定了,那……為什麼還去找那個盒精?聽說那東西,並不好拿。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAbMSB9XCfgP
9Please respect copyright.PENANANA7qKg7sHQ
事實上根本並不是不好拿,而是幾乎不可能拿得到,也不會是一念之間,想去拿就可以順利拿到的東西。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgMTdRPG1Em
9Please respect copyright.PENANAxW07FY85Ye
白川主我原本裝黑石的抽屜裡,特別留下了關於缺憾盒精的一些事。9Please respect copyright.PENANACQTrUeKTZ6
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8nXdPOh9IP
「……」聽到這問話,學長有一瞬間得錯愕也有一瞬間的明瞭。9Please respect copyright.PENANA3hd5OIQ6cU
9Please respect copyright.PENANA5mPctJQHj1
「為什麼?」我毫不放棄的再問一次。9Please respect copyright.PENANAu0J2kl8AAV
9Please respect copyright.PENANAlM4cGWUT9P
「因為……」難得猶豫,在某些時候是顯示一個人的絕對在乎,「我沒有辦法完全放棄。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAXk95IRSp8z
9Please respect copyright.PENANA36LGXKFljj
在聽見這句話的時候,我的心跳聲一瞬間變得很鼓譟,像是要脫離胸膛這樣跳出去一般激烈異常,不過慢慢就平復下來了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAxWRp6SFPDX
9Please respect copyright.PENANAqTkBJIP1R6
然後深深吸了一口氣,我用力眨幾下眼睛之後,撐起身體、對準──9Please respect copyright.PENANAaf1KE7SuD2
9Please respect copyright.PENANAAM4Xhu9hWc
在學長出乎意料的表情中用力親上去!9Please respect copyright.PENANA6xyCiSG9nl
9Please respect copyright.PENANATL1VBFJYBm
只差沒有直接用撞的了,兩個想太多的人,確實需要狠狠敲一下,之前是我,現在是學長!9Please respect copyright.PENANAkUFzyajQk0
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4b6aLeLboz
「因為你需要我,而我也需要你,這就是我自願留下來、也讓你留下來的理由。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAy5WP1gqsQd
9Please respect copyright.PENANAGDjKLlzM87
幾秒之後我就放開搭著學長的手了,非常認真看著他這樣說。9Please respect copyright.PENANAXdJCovJEQ0
9Please respect copyright.PENANAuWtMQTCY2X
9Please respect copyright.PENANAr80eVJDYEH
9Please respect copyright.PENANAy89O1jNB4h
ns216.73.216.255da2 9Please respect copyright.PENANAgcxwBk8mU3
「你,不應該放棄,而我,也不應該影響你……去捨棄正常一生。」最後他這樣說,然後就沉默了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAaeyw1LkErB
9Please respect copyright.PENANAjedoymhrhN
「……」9Please respect copyright.PENANAh2NG878czB
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8jevqU3yMS
……9Please respect copyright.PENANAdCFL0IPF5b
9Please respect copyright.PENANAsVyKs8sP4p
愣愣的看著學長,我覺得……有點困惑。9Please respect copyright.PENANA7w3REv6ITl
9Please respect copyright.PENANAkeqH1zN9c0
其實他剛剛說的話,並不是像什麼驚雷一樣突然打醒一個人神智還是怎麼的,應該是說,那些我也想過了,不過是彼此角度與立場有點不同。9Please respect copyright.PENANAlPukckZU0k
9Please respect copyright.PENANA9WsfGPDIQS
突然發現──9Please respect copyright.PENANAJCD49gGy43
9Please respect copyright.PENANAJGS7qGDEmt
做這些事我是為了……學長,只有極小的部分是為了自己,那時候放不下的感覺是第一次在我的思維裡出現。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgPoQHYk4ZJ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAouoQRJmR9p
隨著成長,我漸漸開始更接近生老病死的周遭,幾次出任務,看見那些喪失親人、愛人的痛苦臉孔漸漸烙印在心底,那時候我就開始想,有一天……9Please respect copyright.PENANACWxExpbJSS
9Please respect copyright.PENANAaFY6GoEmle
有一天這樣事我也會面對,面對親人與有人的離開──我知道我會難過。9Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9wydKBJzw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAksDg1mMneA
而最初時候,也沒也想過什麼假如自己離開了的這種事,直到遇到那位留不住他人的女子後,才不得不意識到一直被努力忽略的,我是妖師,壽命跟人類一樣,但是學長是精靈與獸王族的混血──賽塔已經活了超過兩千年的時光,外表依然年輕,曾未衰老的一切是還能再活得很久、很久的滄桑。9Please respect copyright.PENANARHpCFvkPqt
9Please respect copyright.PENANA5lIaI55n50
那學長會活多久?9Please respect copyright.PENANAKHzq4Vd7hc
9Please respect copyright.PENANALZ0du31LlV
那個曾經的劫難我們已經一起度過,預言師再也沒有為他預言任何災害,所以可以肯定,學長將會活得比想像中的還要久。9Please respect copyright.PENANAFiKDm4hW99
9Please respect copyright.PENANARjpM5C3Ub5
我不知道精靈與獸王族血緣在交會之後誕生的生命到底能夠存在於這世上多久,從一些對話推斷至少也是幾千年吧?但我真的不知道。9Please respect copyright.PENANA0meLANQ7RA
9Please respect copyright.PENANArNFLUunSiw
而不想知道的是,我僅有百年左右的日子,到底……在學長的一生中能算得上什麼?9Please respect copyright.PENANAIzkTtVNEIR
9Please respect copyright.PENANA5trJf3kQUA
如果他是一個不那麼專情的人、如果他可以遺忘,或許事情就不值得擔心,但是他不是。9Please respect copyright.PENANAxrgj3a0DMu
9Please respect copyright.PENANAsRIsGw2H1h
雖然到接受黑山君契約之前我還一直在想,也許我不需要這麼做,甚至害怕著有一天,當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANAbWQzwadNZA
9Please respect copyright.PENANAcKETWmEi71
到現在還是不知道學長會什麼會喜歡我,就跟我也不曉得怎麼喜歡上他的一樣,不過他,如此強大、卻總是為我著想……有太多理由我可能會被他吸引,那種心跳的感覺、血液流過的脈動總為他牽引……就是不知道他到底能看上我哪點,還居然在認識不到一年的時間中,就可以為我付出生命。9Please respect copyright.PENANAU64BHVpUG2
9Please respect copyright.PENANATw2YtbHS1A
所以我害怕又不知道是否該害怕──當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANAbKk2MmPods
9Please respect copyright.PENANAvKOHPXAGbs
因為我想不透我有什麼地方直得他付出永遠。9Please respect copyright.PENANAMbnm02Fk7w
9Please respect copyright.PENANAqVmgtSYgTI
只是不願意有任何可能性看見他在漫長的年歲中寂寞,就算是我欠他的,這樣一點回報,我還付得起。9Please respect copyright.PENANAEDoTJH6K8c
9Please respect copyright.PENANAG3k5dSGjBF
不過以這些來說,一切都是想多了,很多事情不需要理由,連此刻也是,看他的眼神,我知道我這次選擇沒有錯誤。9Please respect copyright.PENANASi99Q3RWMG
9Please respect copyright.PENANAbVNkJWJqRM
……9Please respect copyright.PENANAPXhJDloilD
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4Yeenw6ati
唯一從沒有想過的是學長的想法。9Please respect copyright.PENANAdB9u2mVX1F
9Please respect copyright.PENANATUMf628I3O
如果我能改變自己的命運,如果我能找到方法留下來,學長怎麼可能不知道、辦不到。9Please respect copyright.PENANA24bxh1zLNv
9Please respect copyright.PENANAh7eYYWlfud
根本就是他不想。9Please respect copyright.PENANANSJtOsBZfY
9Please respect copyright.PENANA1OhDh0whUH
說不想好像也不太對,應該是說,他放棄了。9Please respect copyright.PENANABqF4jzAsiU
9Please respect copyright.PENANAIlnx2qjUTP
我從沒想過學長也會擔心這些,在他說出來那不長的卻難得的一段話中,我可以捕捉到這些念頭,他早想過了。9Please respect copyright.PENANA3gfOHeGggR
9Please respect copyright.PENANA2oNB42nA3s
但是比起我害怕看見親人離去,他寧願選擇放手。9Please respect copyright.PENANAyQpaDh3k1m
9Please respect copyright.PENANA7URiNdoJTA
但是比起我擔心他將不在乎我,他只是想著怎樣對我才是最好。9Please respect copyright.PENANAHQHXGiLIRX
9Please respect copyright.PENANA5JV0Ru6fni
到頭來,他還是處處為我著想,我不會去說什麼我直不直得他付出這種話,可是……這樣真的好嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAR58BcMaIWD
9Please respect copyright.PENANAjD0fKajPLX
是不是應該也有什麼事是指有我才能為學長做的,而不是一味讓我接受他的幫助、他的掛心、他……隱晦的愛情?9Please respect copyright.PENANAcSTyGK91rS
9Please respect copyright.PENANASHkMJlQAsH
真的會有嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAMoRN0UJqnJ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAKsqUmCtKba
「學長……」慢慢的,我小心翼翼的把手搭上學長肩膀,勾著那銀亮髮絲與中間垂下的一縷血色。9Please respect copyright.PENANAqePVSbxRWR
9Please respect copyright.PENANAdFLFkEYRPm
「嗯?」他的眼神,大概是不太明白我會想說什麼的樣子。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgSkZRpaoD6
9Please respect copyright.PENANAD3uOU6kjiW
這時我知道,有的,一定有什麼是我能為他做的。9Please respect copyright.PENANAEGHo1sTisc
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYw4r3aUbZd
不再需要質疑──他真的需要我,而我也需要他……9Please respect copyright.PENANA8J4YYEWL1C
9Please respect copyright.PENANAai8PpowJEI
「那個啊……」忍不住又騰出一隻手刮了一下臉,「既然你這麼想,也這麼決定了,那……為什麼還去找那個盒精?聽說那東西,並不好拿。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAbMSB9XCfgP
9Please respect copyright.PENANANA7qKg7sHQ
事實上根本並不是不好拿,而是幾乎不可能拿得到,也不會是一念之間,想去拿就可以順利拿到的東西。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgMTdRPG1Em
9Please respect copyright.PENANAxW07FY85Ye
白川主我原本裝黑石的抽屜裡,特別留下了關於缺憾盒精的一些事。9Please respect copyright.PENANACQTrUeKTZ6
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8nXdPOh9IP
「……」聽到這問話,學長有一瞬間得錯愕也有一瞬間的明瞭。9Please respect copyright.PENANA3hd5OIQ6cU
9Please respect copyright.PENANA5mPctJQHj1
「為什麼?」我毫不放棄的再問一次。9Please respect copyright.PENANAu0J2kl8AAV
9Please respect copyright.PENANAlM4cGWUT9P
「因為……」難得猶豫,在某些時候是顯示一個人的絕對在乎,「我沒有辦法完全放棄。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAXk95IRSp8z
9Please respect copyright.PENANA36LGXKFljj
在聽見這句話的時候,我的心跳聲一瞬間變得很鼓譟,像是要脫離胸膛這樣跳出去一般激烈異常,不過慢慢就平復下來了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAxWRp6SFPDX
9Please respect copyright.PENANAqTkBJIP1R6
然後深深吸了一口氣,我用力眨幾下眼睛之後,撐起身體、對準──9Please respect copyright.PENANAaf1KE7SuD2
9Please respect copyright.PENANAAM4Xhu9hWc
在學長出乎意料的表情中用力親上去!9Please respect copyright.PENANA6xyCiSG9nl
9Please respect copyright.PENANATL1VBFJYBm
只差沒有直接用撞的了,兩個想太多的人,確實需要狠狠敲一下,之前是我,現在是學長!9Please respect copyright.PENANAkUFzyajQk0
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4b6aLeLboz
「因為你需要我,而我也需要你,這就是我自願留下來、也讓你留下來的理由。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAy5WP1gqsQd
9Please respect copyright.PENANAGDjKLlzM87
幾秒之後我就放開搭著學長的手了,非常認真看著他這樣說。9Please respect copyright.PENANAXdJCovJEQ0
9Please respect copyright.PENANAuWtMQTCY2X
9Please respect copyright.PENANAr80eVJDYEH
9Please respect copyright.PENANAy89O1jNB4h