在楊亦桐的堅持以及與醫生討論過後,夫婦倆還是選擇遵從他的意願,讓他居家治療,但必須定期回診。放學回家的童逸洋得知後是不太贊同的,但兄弟之間的默契也足夠讓他明白為什麼對方這麼選擇。81Please respect copyright.PENANAT98PYAmbjZ
81Please respect copyright.PENANA342O3ySpso
楊亦桐的治療費用是一筆龐大的支出。楊守生的薪水不是不能負擔,從不奢侈的家底也夠使用,但這終究是個無底洞,不知哪天會被耗盡。81Please respect copyright.PENANA8cNkzF3CVU
81Please respect copyright.PENANAgYYLrQRmYz
在那天之後,楊守生上班時更努力了,為的是爭取再次升職加薪;童思琳為減少家中負擔,運用以前的能力找了個網上翻譯的工作。81Please respect copyright.PENANA0DC2DpTgDj
81Please respect copyright.PENANAxcmGU8znK5
家中年紀最小的童逸洋成長了不少,每天雷打不動地去上學,放學回家後就幫忙照顧自家哥哥,或是幫忙做家事。楊亦桐除了堅持不肯住院,後來都一直配合著治療吃藥,沒有表現出任何抗拒之意。81Please respect copyright.PENANABsa7zM9MmH
81Please respect copyright.PENANAbr58nLJP2A
患病的過程時無比漫長且痛苦的。81Please respect copyright.PENANAJDYq0QjNZJ
81Please respect copyright.PENANAEMk6ZGeJGW
最初,只是嘔吐與頭痛加劇。隨著病情發展,他的視力模糊得幾乎看不清任何事物,偶爾還有間歇性的失明。本來還能勉強控制的情緒,也變得越來越難以抑制,失控的場景頻繁出現。81Please respect copyright.PENANAU2rqXlPUv5
81Please respect copyright.PENANA2BSq9vZ5FH
直到第五個月,間歇性的失明戛然而止。81Please respect copyright.PENANApfvZcrYQgm
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──因為,他已徹底失去光明。81Please respect copyright.PENANAjHUzqZwxrt
81Please respect copyright.PENANArxkFexPPvV
永恆的黑暗讓男孩一時之間陷入極致的恐慌之中,經常歇斯底里地大哭大叫,摔壞的物品堆了房間的一角,甚至連家人靠近都會引起他激烈的反抗。81Please respect copyright.PENANAaOM6bi35Lh
81Please respect copyright.PENANAjlqoz3Pfx8
隨著時間流逝,或是耗盡了力氣,或是徹底死心,他逐漸接受了這個殘酷的事實,再次展露微笑。可那笑容,卻讓童逸洋覺得滲人。81Please respect copyright.PENANABedoR6sSIN
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因為,從哥哥失明的那一天開始,兄弟倆之間的『感應』……消失了。81Please respect copyright.PENANAtNYj3eoXU7
81Please respect copyright.PENANAtGn6chqH1d
男孩認為,這是哥哥封閉了自己的內心。因此,他學著楊亦桐以往經常對自己做的那樣,嘗試說些有趣的事情,或者是說故事給已經無法再次看書的哥哥聽。81Please respect copyright.PENANA1VAgB5NR4K
81Please respect copyright.PENANAS6hpRmmqYL
從未說過故事的男孩說得磕磕絆絆的,語氣死板又無生氣。但楊亦桐總是微笑著安靜傾聽,偶爾會開口發表自己的看法,不曾嫌棄過弟弟那糟糕的說故事技巧。81Please respect copyright.PENANAYbgowB7bEY
81Please respect copyright.PENANAexlRIVlMgw
每當這個時候,楊亦桐的笑容總會顯得真實幾分,童逸洋總有種錯覺,彷彿時間悄然倒流他們還是當初那對無憂無慮的兄弟。一起上學、一起玩耍,日子依舊平凡而溫暖,未來也似乎依然光明可期,沒有一絲陰霾。81Please respect copyright.PENANAQfczor4ioE
81Please respect copyright.PENANAhWLJvLnWwM
可現實並不會因人停下腳步。某一天,殘酷的事實猶如一記重槌,毫不留情地砸碎了他美好的幻想。81Please respect copyright.PENANAaSdqXeqiVY
81Please respect copyright.PENANAfZO1NEvbZ1
那天清晨下了一陣雨,雨後的天空特別湛藍,白軟的雲朵如棉花般飄浮著,彎彎的彩虹橫跨天際,彷彿一道用彩筆精心繪製的痕跡,美得讓人屏息。81Please respect copyright.PENANAemOjdo8XqU
81Please respect copyright.PENANA5l6gAxKCEz
楊亦桐坐躺在床上,望著窗外的天空,無神的雙眼早已失去視力,可現在的他卻讓人感覺,他似乎真的能感受到此刻天空的美麗。81Please respect copyright.PENANAzdY1NXe9CA
81Please respect copyright.PENANAhb5khEK9oB
當放學歸來的童逸洋推門而入時,看見的正是這幅景象。骨瘦如柴的兄長坐在床邊,柔弱的身形彷彿一陣風就能將他吹散。童逸洋心中猛然一酸,酸澀感像波浪一樣湧上胸口,直逼得他幾乎喘不過氣來。81Please respect copyright.PENANAG57UytXZGj
81Please respect copyright.PENANAeh14zhbN0h
自從楊亦桐確診至今,已經過七、八個月。即使有持續接受治療,病魔仍以摧枯拉朽之勢吞噬著男孩的身體。尤其是最近這一個月,男孩本就消瘦的身體更是被削得皮包骨,彷彿只要輕輕一碰,就會隨之斷裂。81Please respect copyright.PENANAdNFnYot6WX
81Please respect copyright.PENANAtPQwsVyBoe
──距離那一天,恐怕不會太久了。81Please respect copyright.PENANABLDgf0fcXV
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無人願意道出這個事實。81Please respect copyright.PENANARJzGjCEc03
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在彼此面前,他們總會勉強打起精神,裝作一副樂觀的模樣,盡可能用正面的話語鼓勵對方;可當獨自一人時,他們總是嘆息、落淚,甚至連呼吸都帶著壓抑的疼痛。整個家中,彷彿籠罩在一層無形的陰霾之中,透著無法驅散的哀傷。81Please respect copyright.PENANANIhzSTxPAe
81Please respect copyright.PENANANkcGPGUWub
一段輕聲的嘆息,打斷了他的胡思亂想。81Please respect copyright.PENANAbndCtNkZwS
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「是弟弟嗎?」81Please respect copyright.PENANAF5KPgTX8PK
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「嗯,是我。」81Please respect copyright.PENANAuLo8QWidCb
81Please respect copyright.PENANAelWt9iHKvc
失明後,楊亦桐的其他五感變得敏銳許多。他早就察覺自家弟弟那粗重紊亂的呼吸聲,只是遲遲未開口呼喚。81Please respect copyright.PENANAEDPCbcS42z
81Please respect copyright.PENANADxpyeqyNFJ
即使看不見,即使偽裝成樂觀的模樣,他也能感受到父母與弟弟壓抑在內心深處的心痛與悲傷。81Please respect copyright.PENANACMldSG0BQo
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不過是一方願意欺騙,一方甘願被騙,願打願挨罷了。81Please respect copyright.PENANAEFjI7Du1Gj
81Please respect copyright.PENANAEdy6jeKNi0
「哥你聽我說,今天……」81Please respect copyright.PENANA2wRpVzrj8v
81Please respect copyright.PENANAl7sXUIB2q3
童逸洋本來想像平時一樣分享今天在學校中發生的趣事,但今天的楊亦桐卻阻止了他繼續往下說。81Please respect copyright.PENANAo9tmfzi3OY
81Please respect copyright.PENANAvFVl1FWhmb
「弟弟,能幫我去客廳拿眼鏡嗎?」81Please respect copyright.PENANAlVr6tRPiZG
81Please respect copyright.PENANAh5cgmbR6Fi
「喔、喔,好,我現在去。」81Please respect copyright.PENANAoIYq2koQ9w
81Please respect copyright.PENANAMP5f7HpnHP
童逸洋幾乎沒有思考就跑了出去。可當他正準備下樓的那刻他才猛然驚覺,已經失明的楊亦桐為何還需要眼鏡?81Please respect copyright.PENANARg31CSsswD
81Please respect copyright.PENANAm3RNEjDtiQ
轉了個身再次回到楊亦桐的房外,白皙修長手指觸碰上門把手的那刻,準備轉動的動作因房內的啜泣聲而停下。81Please respect copyright.PENANAGcBLUDXGfc
81Please respect copyright.PENANAuVJbpcaNcx
「……死……」81Please respect copyright.PENANAwp4X9i3YIZ
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「不……想……」81Please respect copyright.PENANAU67c5kiXJz
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「咳、咳……我、不想死……」81Please respect copyright.PENANA8b0hqo8nsp
81Please respect copyright.PENANAN7P3ZpFyaT
站在門外的男孩紅了眼眶。81Please respect copyright.PENANAv5UEiVdhv8
81Please respect copyright.PENANAZes9RgvSn8
哥哥總是臉上掛著微笑,表現出看淡生死,欣然接受死亡的模樣,為的是讓他們心裡好受。可無人知道,他也不過是個男孩,一個未滿十二歲的小學生。這樣的孩子,怎麼可能能夠真正不害怕死亡?81Please respect copyright.PENANALfTS1WJMkq
81Please respect copyright.PENANAPhNAJ7sgQZ
久違窺見哥哥內心,童逸洋不知道自己現在是否該進去房裡。雙腳彷彿被灌了鉛沉重不已,只能站在原地無法動彈。81Please respect copyright.PENANAynm5X735Mw
81Please respect copyright.PENANAnLb7VSI75X
「救……咳、咳……救我……」81Please respect copyright.PENANASF7fInSb8F
81Please respect copyright.PENANAoRk53o3Yya
「爸……媽……」81Please respect copyright.PENANARhRahzX5Xl
81Please respect copyright.PENANA41Zpylytqr
「…弟…咳、呃……」81Please respect copyright.PENANA9mf0E8TrHE
81Please respect copyright.PENANA1jwDkttjtf
本來還像個木頭人般駐在門外的童逸洋霎時察覺不對勁,瞳孔猛地緊縮。他失聲大喊一聲『哥』,隨即推開門闖入房裡。然而,眼前的景象卻讓他渾身僵硬──81Please respect copyright.PENANAIEUCGuISHj
81Please respect copyright.PENANA1Onfg4SIfC
在病痛與藥物的雙重折磨下,早已消瘦得不成人形的哥哥側躺在床上,無神的雙眼微微張開,睫毛上還掛著尚未乾涸的淚珠。嘴角緩緩流出的嘔吐物混雜著暗紅色的血絲,一切靜得令人窒息。而當事人,竟對這一切沒有絲毫反應。81Please respect copyright.PENANA8ZcNzv2yVm
81Please respect copyright.PENANACD6wYomLid
挪動僵硬的身軀前來哥哥身邊,學著警匪片中常出現的手法,伸手輕輕探向他的鼻息,可只有一片空虛。一剎那,童逸洋強撐著的腳,徹底軟了下來──81Please respect copyright.PENANALiSTJEsDEc
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哥哥……沒有呼吸了。81Please respect copyright.PENANAQxlX8oDJDl
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他死了……81Please respect copyright.PENANAp2E7tFO5kf
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童逸洋也不知道自己是怎麼出去通知童思琳的,更不知楊守生何時回的家。直到兩夫妻經失聲痛哭,微微取回一絲冷靜的楊守生強忍著悲痛,準備去替大兒子辦理死亡證明時,恍惚的精神才被拉回現實。81Please respect copyright.PENANAt7p7SS7hED
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死亡證明……81Please respect copyright.PENANAgHn9XoyP9u
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一旦辦理死亡證明,『楊亦桐』的生命就此被徹底畫上句號。他再也不會回來,再也不會出現在任何人面前。81Please respect copyright.PENANA9K5XoCRqHW
81Please respect copyright.PENANAQcBK3bjbre
在那一剎那,腦中閃過許多畫面。父母努力想一碗水端平,卻忍不住對哥哥多一分偏愛;學校中同學與老師對哥哥無限的讚譽;還有哥哥直到最後一刻,才表現出的那痛苦的哭泣與掙扎,一聲又一聲『不想死』的哽咽聲……81Please respect copyright.PENANA3u85WQcGXx
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強烈的情緒撕扯著他的理智,話語甚至搶先於理智脫口而出──81Please respect copyright.PENANAokLoctntLW
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「我來當楊亦桐吧。」