有傑去世後,我時常把錄音帶放在身旁。住院期間,我除了自怨自艾,其餘時間則放在打盹和聆聽錄音帶的琴聲。稚嫩的琴聲有不少沙石,旋律斷斷續續,生硬且不流𣈱,但這始終是他竭盡全力為我演奏的樂章。如果有傑仍在世,我會指導他去精進琴藝,改正不足之處。159Please respect copyright.PENANAsGqATnQ6H0
159Please respect copyright.PENANAvSN7B7CFHP
159Please respect copyright.PENANAJLpsPK82pw
159Please respect copyright.PENANAulYNbHMRU7
只是……世上沒有「如果」。錄音帶已無緣記錄有傑更動聽的琴聲,琴聲定格在他十歲的時光。如果我沒有解僱教鋼琴的陳老師;如果我有關注他的精神健康;如果我沒有處處將他和有俊比較……一切是否就能改寫?
159Please respect copyright.PENANAvmr4p15fTa
159Please respect copyright.PENANAMHuoIbgxdI
159Please respect copyright.PENANAiUPJGrewqi
千愁萬緒在腦中打轉,揮之不去。
159Please respect copyright.PENANAeo2yBocfyh
159Please respect copyright.PENANAi0yf05b5HN
159Please respect copyright.PENANAWgoahWIoDS
想著想著,我不知不覺在錄音帶的催眠下入睡。
159Please respect copyright.PENANAuR7nZwMYHf
159Please respect copyright.PENANAUr6LElHC8I
159Please respect copyright.PENANA26JnO62O8J
我做了個美夢。
159Please respect copyright.PENANAXZZWEqZSJF
159Please respect copyright.PENANArP5tdRYEJK
159Please respect copyright.PENANATVDyUSEHNS
夢醒後,我淚流不止。
159Please respect copyright.PENANAi54nfQW451
159Please respect copyright.PENANAHWyDA6oomV
159Please respect copyright.PENANAOr9chWEbtm
夢中,一切如錄音帶倒溯重播,我回到了父子最後對話的那刻。有傑依舊低著頭,無助地道歉著。這次,我沒有冷漠地離開,而是緊緊抱住他。他嚇了一跳,困惑地望著淚流滿面的我。
159Please respect copyright.PENANAv4H2KUtYaE
159Please respect copyright.PENANA6fRPlSeYTP
這次,我選擇了不同的路。不再逼他學不想學的鋼琴;不再把他與有俊比較;不再把對「有傑」這名字的期望放在他身上。
159Please respect copyright.PENANAerVjMaqhst
159Please respect copyright.PENANAHmsPolRgXw
這次,他長大成人。在大學的畢業舞台上,穿著學士服,臉上露出和煦的笑容,眼中不再有恐懼與自卑,取而代之的是希望和自信。
159Please respect copyright.PENANAyXYueVh6NX
159Please respect copyright.PENANA7LEsjlIwbd
夢境戛然而止,是那麼美好又虛渺……睜眼一看,有傑不在我身邊,我失神地呢喃:「也是」。世上沒有「如果」。若然有,亦只存在於夢中。我無法改變過去,就只能沉溺在虛幻的夢中嗎?遺憾已經夠多,還要一錯再錯嗎?現在我能做些甚麼來彌補過去的錯誤?那怕微不足道,也勝過空想的夢。
159Please respect copyright.PENANAshZtm06aI7
159Please respect copyright.PENANAe8qDGO84ZM
159Please respect copyright.PENANA50nbpseGbN
159Please respect copyright.PENANA0Hnj1wzeYt