38 燭火47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg69h5v0hVP
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG470delMQZ
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9e2f3I5Ia
范震升向來吃得不多。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4jnu3k58d
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKc6e0yasJ
這不是要符合他的失常人設，讓自己變得瘦骨嶙峋，而是他的體質從就是如此。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRG5H5s2HP
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPq8kvASwY
過往他在社團室的時候，往往由程芳靈帶來簡單的飯盒，讓他簡單充飢，有時候他讓程芳靈自己進餐，自己亂吃簡單的餅乾或是麵包。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7euXqHppm
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JJKFv24OC
用膳不像閱讀，從來沒有帶給他任何樂趣──除了由這學期開始，每天午飯時間，他都會陪程芳靈在圖書館外的梯間用餐。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kFH91sYJH
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fHBl1c5q5
圖書館內除清水外禁止飲食，所以程芳靈會帶來飯盒或是外賣食品，來到旁邊樓梯間，等著范震升暫時放下工作過來。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHriBBGm5a
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QHEnQndO2
「乜原來妳都有興趣？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfix6JxK64
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvMcW6y2cr
程芳靈今天照樣坐在梯間等著范震升，她拚起雙腳，腳上放著飯盒，飯盒上面放著橫放的手機，手機上播放著林強主持的「全人類愛與勇氣無死角校園電台」的節目。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEbPj1c4OM
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBJAi8rFHv
程芳靈戴著耳機，看得入神，聽見苑震升的聲線連忙拔下耳機，紅透著臉支支吾吾地說：47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyyBGoro9l
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8a9z6s6R9W
「無、無、我、我、我只、我只係……我、呃……我睇咗陣。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknje38dz8Q
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46LuqiHvml
范震升露出大概只有程芳靈見過的微笑，走在她身旁坐下來，程芳靈卻立刻關掉手機的畫面，可是卻被范震升握住手腕制止。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWtcKSA87f
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTaYy4fefQ
「我頭先係旁邊企咗五分鐘啦，妳完全無留意我。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZLpzGCtaq
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jmMeHhSmH
「對、對唔住……會長、會長……我、我、我只係……」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCTsEC12np
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOEBS18UUd
范震升望向程芳靈手機上的畫面，那卻是三名學生的討論對談節目，屏幕上的主題是：【殷許接吻風波：校內vs校外｜宗教vs愛情】47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54DGyoM8f7
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0OxXBRnqd
「全人類愛與勇氣校園無死角電台」昨天啟播了，由林強及三位女友擔任客席主持，節目內容約有三小時，除了講述校園內重點新聞（昨天主要是關於風紀當值的濫權問題）外，另有還有一節學生對談節目，以及一節為低年級生而設的課程指導節目。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDo2o7l0MKf
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseHCwLNKvg
程芳靈現在所看的，正是昨天播出學生對談節目。范震升說道：「俾我聽下得嘛？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOktA6t0YS8
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOmayNIJyL
「可、可以……」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixa2v6Xwwp
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQdXnM7CLx
程芳靈將手機放到范震升的腿上，然後他戴上耳機，聽著三位學生的對談。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmmgm3p81f
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCspn4lU6U
『我當然唔認為無問題啦，佢地兩位始終係我地學校嘅學生，平常我地情侶之間拍拖，都會留意唔好係學校附近有親密舉動。』47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7iqHlJtF8
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytNX58au7E
其中一位似乎是高年級的女生說。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjxARrqpKb
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUVUloKK1g
『但妳講嘅狀況，其實都係怕俾老師見到，會有不必要麻煩。但麻煩還麻煩，校規還校規，學生離開學校後，甚至除咗校服之後，校規嘅管豁權到底有幾大，從來都好模糊。』47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHaSxPm5aH
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPfESQ9DG8
另外一位穿著整齊的男學生說。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvVURjgvjE
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNEv1mqBLr
『我都同意依位女同學嘅講法，今次事件唔係發生係校內，亦唔係上課日，甚至當事人唔係著住校服。成件事係發生於學校旁邊嘅教堂內，據我所知教會依家未公佈任何對殷詠弦嘅處份。我亦覺得校方唔可以用番對待楊希杰同方潔海嘅角度，去睇殷詠弦同許愛悠。』47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRqVZdyYj5
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiprl9d45G
三位學生各執一詞，在節目中討論著關於許愛悠與殷詠弦的接吻事件，當中涉及議題不止兩人接吻的合宜性，還有宗教與情感的衝突，同性愛戀與朋友感情的分野等等。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxGeSos52P
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a8fQkfX2Z
「會、會長……你、食、食唔食野呀……？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIu2zXhgOb
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Lp4iSVQe8
終於程芳靈拍了拍范震升的肩頭，范震升才回神過來，拔下耳機，他望向手機的時鐘，才發現自己看了有幾近10分鐘之久。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBilmjbxEs
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAu6MkLfspp
程芳靈打開了飯堂，那裡面她慣食的家常菜。范震升卻搖著頭：「唔啦，妳食啦，我唔餓。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2wU46eDuz
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusdxXVO9ii
程芳靈知道范震升有麵包或各種乾糧，也不一定在午餐時間進食，她便拿起飯匙，一口接一口地吃著飯，飯盒的熱氣令她厚厚的眼鏡片積起薄霧。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaXxuB7rRF
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuXgPVtujB
范震升沒有說話，程芳靈也只是默然地進食。他們兩人本來就不一定會交談，就算是並肩坐著的時候，如果是旁人看來，一定是非常奇怪的一對。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjSrC8Xt9U
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YwtOfWTEx
然而范震升卻覺得今天程芳靈的沉默格外不平靜，那就像暗藏了未知物質的夜空。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIVjhbqrXd
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcRvazY04I
「妳係咪有野想講？」范震升撫了撫程芳靈的頭髮。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9XyuZjTfw
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgBTbLlgq9
「Ar galiu.....tau ką nors pasakyti？」（立陶宛語：我可唔可以講一樣野你知）47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVxZ5sGxZS
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDXuJIh4d0
程芳靈用生硬的立陶宛語說著。立陶宛語是范震升最擅長也最偏好的歐洲語言之一，他用熟悉的口音回答：47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiDb1xHZST
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5h5iJxxz9g
「Taip. kas tai?」（立陶宛語：當然可以啦，咩事？）47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcshB3mjsv
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPxgpopVvz
「尋日……尋日，阿北又嚟搵過我……」程芳靈說。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3wL7wKXTO
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0Ux4K7NYT
范震升沒有回答，只是輕柔按住程芳靈的肩頭。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIa1XCVuht
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCPNcsn0y9
程芳靈繼續說：「佢同我講……佢話、佢覺得會長你精通咁多語言……只係為咗學術界工作，佢覺得……好可惜。佢話，佢希望你可以去……幫佢手。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGDfAWMBFJ
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CAECRqDjx
范震升仍然沒有回答，程芳靈又繼續說：47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68uiiiXpbG
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIHEjk4eKS
「佢、佢有話……佢尋日一樣嚟搵過你，點解……點解會長、你、你無同我講？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsT3KtXKDE
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO0zRTiXGE
范震升呼了口氣，他知道程芳靈不是那種具佔有慾的女生。她這麼問，是認真想知道答案。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6f2CGJ4dLZ
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqYu7EbgfR
「因為……」范震升說「我唔想我嘅態度，影響到妳嘅決定。如果我一開始就話唔去，妳一定會直接拒絕阿北，係咪？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonYodL0lXR
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOW4LswZt7
程芳靈放下飯匙，握住只吃了一半的飯盒說：「會長……會長你係為咗我……？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iNDzoKBQx
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpF6NZ1eQ8
「妳應該知道，阿北佢背後嘅目的，一樣係為咗幫許愛悠。可能阿北行事風格無咁強硬，但本質上佢同上學期嘅鄭雪蕾或許愛悠，又有咩分別。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNjPbNVdkO
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14ePbXO1CQ
范震升猶記得上學期當鄭雪蕾以歐研的硬碟要脅程芳靈，她那歇斯底里的模樣。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnb06HI7Isg
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zTAwtAC8v
程芳靈低著頭，從范震升的角度也看不見她鏡片後的雙眼。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaM7Pn7FBAD
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sdRjoFL5z
「但、但係……」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiVPm0LtNf
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkpHgcrLoA
「嗯？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdysKo9gVOg
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5Dp5qkVML
程芳靈遲疑良久，似乎是鼓起莫大勇氣，才能說出以下這句話：47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjEiTfXaYC
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgUi7ofUdB
「但係……會長你……已經、已經唔係當時嘅會長……」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBSXvhIXcD
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbXPj4rTYi
范震升撫著程芳靈髮梢的手停下來，程芳靈繼續說：47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbjj8qh7yG
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXvCXHSzwJ
「以前、係我……去協助會長你……因為你果陣唔係依家咁……我地離開咗社團室、我明白會長你嘅苦心……但係、我、口齒唔好，我唔識講……我只係覺得……改變嘅改變野……就係，改變咗……我地唔洗再去扮無改變……」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXwWZNyCaH
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxKBopUmnK
「但如果，」范震升說「最後又好似上學期咁，妳會被牽連……」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3Fe7i96mQ
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGW8Ar5tZoK
程芳靈紅著臉看了范震升一眼，又轉回頭去，低聲說：「我相信、依家嘅會長、你……有能力、唔俾依件事發生……」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBX5Mfnk1E8
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVWHf2zIBK
范震升驟然感受到那良久未有過的感覺，當他父親離開他的時候，當他決定拒絕整個世界的時候──那因為被愛而產生的恐懼。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5fciixmIJ
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrf2XFRPvxV
「妳唔覺得，」范震升又說「我地應該維持安安靜靜嘅生活咩？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLd0wvlKmT
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwNibbLjZP
程芳靈沉默半响，稍為遲疑才說：「Ignoranti quem portum petat, nullus suus ventus est.（拉丁文：對無航點嘅人嚟講，無風係順風）。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2wTJ2kQPZ
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7lRuawS1O
范震升不免微笑，他看程芳靈的耳朵一片通紅。他說：「Seneca（塞內卡），我從來唔知妳對佢有興趣。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg6W4P3FB9
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTW9EjTJvz
「都係、都係……跟得會長你多。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhA7H8SXfzG
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeQZzjVbUp
程芳靈繼續吃起飯，梯間外回盪著其他學生急行或奔跑的腳步聲，對范震升來彷彿是未知的語言。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzEG969rTV
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡss5BHmQiY6
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6j56uUrGj
█ 47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnbBfXD28y
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIrgiiHkN2
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9lbV0lPVj
原來這就是風紀委員會的真面目。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYbuY539QF
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjC75f1ZGIr
阿北打開會議室，發現場內以半圓形放好了五張桌椅。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODayBKrbEu
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAm503CFxCT
五張桌椅後，分別坐著今天出席會議的五位領袖生風紀，包括坐在右二位置的楊希曦。她依然帶著微笑，向阿北點頭示意。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr6OpWyMGr
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9lGSIZI0J
每位領袖生風紀身後，又分別各坐著兩位風紀，手中握住筆記本，似乎是在做會議記錄，也可能是暗示，他們就是未來領袖生風紀的接班人及競爭者。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd84jA9wF1m
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdDCZWFmr9
阿北在中央的位置空位處坐下來，連同楊希曦在內領袖生風紀共有3女2男，桌上均沒有名牌，令人無法得知他們的名字。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJexu6akz5
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtswW2LdfN
阿北上學期作為十二大社團代表的時候，從來沒有出席過聯席會議，但曾聽說風紀委每次都會輪流派不同的領袖生參與。風紀委員會不設單一領導，遇事要表決，則行集體領導制，所以領袖生風紀數量均為單數，以避免有平手局面。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUeL2OJ5ZE
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtHkfNspkD
「麻煩你今日過嚟，阿北同學。」坐在正中央的一位女領袖生風紀說「我地係想同你討論下近日係學校入面，有好多關於風紀嘅影片係度流傳。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGpuf8VtPG
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37fS118woN
阿北發現五位領袖風紀舉手投足確實有不同的特質，但都一樣散發出共通的優等生氣場，所說的片字隻語，所做的舉手投足，都像不自覺經過嚴格的鍛練，以用最自然的方式符合最普遍性的規範。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhSthGY668
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwVoKS95hh
阿北漫不經心地抿了抿嘴：「咁你地應該搵錯人啦，我除咗作為觀眾，同咩影片無關係。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIit7N48yj
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDniPjWxr50
坐在最右方的男領袖生風紀說：「但尋日『全人類愛與勇氣無死角校園電視台』啟播，主持人係林強，佢係橋牌學會嘅副會長，亦係你嘅好友。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kM9QsOtyj
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQ1YC2Mor9
阿北眨起死魚眼：「阿強的確係我好兄弟，但點解你地唔係搵佢，係搵我呢？平時佢溝囡派膠依啲野，同我無任何關係嫁喎。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQvEk72veI
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QCOrehS4U
坐在最左方的女領袖生風紀繼續問：「林強佢宣稱有觀眾向佢投稿影片，但我非常懷疑，會唔會林強就係依堆影片背後嘅策劃人？定還是係你？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB52wBzXrnm
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHtzaYE95X
阿北聳肩表示不置可否：「哎，我諗你地搞錯曬啦。估計你地嘅懷疑都係，因為阿強係橋牌學會副會長，而我係會長，所以你地就嚟搵我姐下話。起，各位大哥大姐，你地睇下我個衰樣，好似我地依啲磨轆小型社團，咩會長、咩副會長，都係玩玩下，我都唔知佢平時──」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieg3V82ZIb
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYjDayIjDQ
「師兄，我諗我地可以開門見山。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1mDLB6uZ2
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwULMMEI3dc
會議室揚起楊希曦的聲線，阿北往她看去，或許是錯覺，他覺得她那精雕細琢的禮貌語氣下，隱藏著壓止不住的煩燥。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiQ87px2Ny
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1eW37uCM5
「係，師妹。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCPoBde2th
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8MCXkZg34
楊希曦淺笑著說：「我地同訓導主任開過會，佢希望拍片同校園電視台依件事，可以留番俾我地學生之間自己解決。師兄，你係打橋牌嘅，我聽講打橋牌嘅技巧入面，點樣逼對方拎牌，為自己製造有利局面係至關重要，咁你想要我地拎嘅牌，到底係咩？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtOWZCdLRg
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJmLYtxY0S
果然。阿北想著。訓導主任無意介入學生群的爭端當中，拍片是集體行為，禁得了一次禁不了第二次，既然影片針對的是風紀，解決方又回到風紀委身上。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbItKda2Uu
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpzO660Kem
阿北靠後到椅背上說：「首先，我從來無打算要挑戰風紀委嘅權威，或者要拉任何風紀或領袖生風紀落馬，我從來唔係針對在坐任何一個人。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8MiPHToGQ
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRZtzEDsJa
左二的男領袖生風紀終於按捺不住道：「你承認拍片同埋個電視台係你背後指使！」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXAFhOH8rR
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XQSvaUI4g
阿北氣定神閒沒有回答，楊希曦也朝那位男領袖生風紀搖頭，等阿北說下去。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOo6iscH5g0
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn9JpkbHYW
「我需要風紀委係下次聯席會議嘅時候，同意由鄭雪蕾提出嘅校規修訂。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopLfqtgwCI
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekRQjL0zXY
阿北說，望向現場所有五位領袖生風紀、包括楊希曦。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEvPL8Xsgv
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zZwMBAaIt
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0TR1rynQw
█ 47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzn8g5COKeA
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb61tGBh3O
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMb11SzMlP
殷詠弦跪在祭壇前，雙手握在祭台上，她將額頭靠向手上，口中禱誦著不同的經文。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucWacIyNew
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqJTpoJtXM
入夜後，教堂內的蠟燭燃燒著淡淡的石蠟味，明滅不定的燭火照著教堂內的坐位、廊柱、十字架，投射出朦隴不定的灰淡燭影。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDy5LmDjEbj
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8UTqoF2PE
殷詠弦穿著修道帽，繼續她從未停歇的禱告，她諗完一段經文，又是一段經文。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAFFw9YjDO
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kaJ45J085
她好像聽見了身後傳來開門聲，然後是腳步聲，有人在位置中坐下來。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouWpUC8KL1
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCZd4N2qOS
教堂在晚上仍會開放一段短時間，但附近信徒不多，除非是宗教節日，否則幾乎沒有人會於晚上來教堂。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RBkplZYff
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOT9L3XYXTq
殷詠弦沒有在意，繼續低頭禱告，暗紅色的嘴唇絮語蠕動，搖動的燭光往在她半閉的雙眼灑上了混濁的淚。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Y1yi9clmV
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYINHByTUJ
「Quid est peccatum tuum？（拉丁文：妳犯咗咩罪？）」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pl9xOi2AK
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7J9ltIXq0P
從她身後傳來一把有點深沉，但音節清晰的男聲。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkxMVRKmEa
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIo36Nb76SH
殷詠弦對拉丁文並不嫻熟，但她知道那是成為修女的必經課業，所以她在長老修女的指導下，也懂得一點基本的拉丁文。她抬起頭，看著眼前的聖像，雙手緊握，用生硬的拉丁語回答：47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDj1tQ31rb
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4YlXrlmck
「Peccatum meum……amor est。（拉丁文：我嘅罪……係愛）。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDixpcOpFIb
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJddpmS7AA
身後的那人沒有馬上回答，片刻才說：「Amor nunquam peccatum est。（拉丁文：愛從來唔係罪）。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkM6kHLXg5b
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdBievGVD2
「Fortasse（拉丁文：或者……）」殷詠弦發現自己的拉丁文不足以對話，便又說「係我嘅方式有錯，係我嘅渴望有罪，但依一切都係出於我嘅愛。我或者無辦法用最正確嘅方式去愛，但愛仍然係愛，又同時係罪。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPVDnGrOvD
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6p6Vl2KLi
「但我地好多時，」那男生也配合著轉換語言「根本唔會知點樣先可以正確去愛，唔只對其他人，對世界，對自己都係。如果係咁嘅，我地無時無刻都犯緊罪。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhSDFW5Ocm
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLIGclUY1R
「可能就係咁，」殷詠弦說「我地先至需要上帝，需要救贖。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHg3LRyqKJ
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSgESLNGuc
「妳唔相信我地憑自己，可以搵到正確去愛嘅方式？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNLeCcYqQN
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI965VTAAWB
殷詠弦有那麼一刻想回頭，可是她覺得思緒非常沉重，像隨著燭火也一點一點寂滅。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SE3gHuBNm
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGV9y7jVHV
「愛太過沉重，我地好容易因為愛而犯錯，我地必須要靠上主去幫我地。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrh21POadQ
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOER2QLRHOR
殷詠弦知道，這即便只是逃避，但也是她找到內心片刻平靜的唯一方法，是她可以暫時放下許愛悠的方法。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXwH2RhiH4
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjb8MBgAb8j
「我嘅父親……」殷詠弦身後那男聲說「佢係一個歷史學者，終其一生，都執著於尋找同解釋歷史嘅真相。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28JDLO4VJu
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODIMprztms
殷詠弦熟識這種語氣，是懺悔的語氣，每位教徒都曾經有過的語氣，那無法置信自己會說出種種傷痕的語氣。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSon8KJLFHb
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69QrQjB0am
「佢用咗半生去探究歷史，但到最後，佢得出嘅結果無得到學術界認同，佢唔放棄，繼續堅持。直到我母親離佢而去，直到佢自己身體衰弱，直到佢過世之後，剩得番我一個人。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWt761skwm
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlVfs2B8v8
教堂內的燭火晃動著，隨著焚燒愈來愈幽暗。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHccI04pIt
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28ZJnepIUr
「可能我選擇失常嘅方式去投身學術工作，係想話俾我父親知，學術界只係一個笑話；我遠離其他人，睇唔起依個世界，係因為我想話俾其他人知，依個世界根本毫無價值，唔值得任何人包括我父親去執著；我甚至唔鍾意我父親俾我嘅名，『震升』，震驚百里，柔以時升，佢到死果日，仍然妄想我會拎到佢無嘅名氣地位。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAl1RH0BjCq
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs0Ot82VQU
「又可能，只係我搵唔到一個正確嘅方式，去適應依個令我失去父母嘅世界。又有可能，我只係怕自己適應依個世界之後，會成為一個平凡人，發現自己同父親都係一樣。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDORWvRVot
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxPpXgWARj
「我真係唔知道，如果我因為『愛』，就去嘗試了解、參與、影響依個世界，或者我嘅結果只會同父親一樣，成為另一個佢。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19cF2xrWcU
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67JQPBfEhP
殷詠弦看著眼前聖壇上的白蠟燭，有一根已經熄滅了。她看著前方說：47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmKpoZJ6TX
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB39q6ojq6x
「好抱歉……我只係一個罪人，無能力去破除你嘅迷惘，亦無能力去赦免你。但我想問……你有深愛嘅人嗎？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GEl5143j7
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIV12z2qwL
「有。」那男聲說。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8ehLakgzN
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdO0ABwoEJd
「如果，」殷詠弦說「你會因為愛佢而落入地獄，會罪孽深重，你會繼續去愛嗎？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFUYYveE3J
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzwk3OVJgu
那男聲發出一聲冷笑：「某程度我依家已行咗入地獄，依個充滿普通人嘅世界，對我嚟講同惡夢無分別，但係……我仍然會咁做，為咗一直陪係我身邊嘅佢。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsxTVx9WXs
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw58mdHGaOM
「咁我相信，你已經搵到引領你嘅方向。」殷詠弦跪在神壇前低頭說「我只能提醒你，我一樣嘗試過佔有我所愛嘅人，嘗試令全世界都知道我有幾咁愛佢，即使我知道咁樣會傷害佢同我自己，但我仍然願意狂妄咁樣去愛，即使我將會罪無可恕。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8zdFhRPPy
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCRy9tJvU9
燭光幢幢，殷詠弦背後那人從坐位中站起來：「我始終唔覺得愛係罪。但我故且再問多樣野：妳內心有上帝，可以赦免妳嘅罪，但如果係我地一般人，因為愛而犯錯，應該被邊個赦免？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuggZiwSSu
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd769gxcjHK
殷詠弦沒有回答，厚重的陰影像在她身邊落下沉默的帷幕。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gPbsh6QEr
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ64ZvrsqZi
那人的腳步聲往教堂的門外走去，他拉開門然後說：「可能，我同妳忘記咗一件事，或者唔願意去接受依件事。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd13C2bEEwI
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKfTTqJT5s
殷詠弦終於回頭過來，她的雙眼一直凝視著幽暗，一時無法適應教堂門前參差的燭火，那人的臉只糊成一團慘白。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtDflVPeB7
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RxHK0QWgl
「比我地脆弱、比我地任性、比我地無知嘅人，偏偏比我地自己，更加知道點去愛我地……甚至原諒我地。Dominus vobiscum。（拉丁文：願上帝與您同在）。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRRmvbJxjT
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEM5TQnDMK4
那人最後的說氣像帶著幾份自嘲，他關上教堂的門後，殷詠弦閉上雙眼，仍在黑暗中看見燭火的烙印。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrzZFQPlNS
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrj2NQgl6J
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28GQZ08bUL
█ 47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwqyd1u4xX
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgILjMHjB5
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QjLxlPf13
會議室內，五位領袖生風紀沉默不語，正中央仍放著一張無人的坐椅。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqZ6fUP5ub
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUP3RTtGbLJ
經過約莫20分鐘的討論後，正中央的女領袖生風紀清了清喉嚨說：47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWO9aewoB96
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfUaVWste2
「相信我地已經有結論，有無人有其他想法，或者需要更多時間？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqGjVSY0LB
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQkKFIaQNU
場內沒有人回答。楊希曦雙眼盯著那空空如也的坐位，那阿北曾經坐著的位置。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCjAcjcW47
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWRcEh2SrR
「咁我地依家開始投票，按慣例為消除爭議，『同意』或『不同意』各投票一次，大家準備好？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVsEusyLl2
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKY5DujzFxL
五人稍一點頭，正中央的女領袖生風紀揚聲說：「『同意』於下次學生會聯席會議時，由風紀委代表投票，支持阿北或鄭雪蕾校規修訂動議嘅，請舉手。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzYMxZCVOQ
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7ggetOdAa
沒有一個人舉手。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4O2J8ubul
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6pnpe9TZg
「『不同意』於下次學生會聯席會議時，由風紀委代表投票，支持阿北或鄭雪蕾校規修訂動議嘅，請舉手。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQwo3fpKaG
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSPB3tRq11
五位領袖生風紀陸續舉起手，不同意、不同意、不同意、不同意──47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FbIKbgDEY
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7ilq1L0hV
剩下沒有舉手的楊希曦。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKDdS0dW5J
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcoGqrYGtm
其餘四位領袖生風紀望向楊希曦，她早已收起慣用的微笑。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡde5VhMW9GW
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflDROQYR58
直到會議室內連寂靜都顯得太過刺耳，楊希曦才舉起手。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTx2spc9qUk
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