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School
Mythology
The Sun & Moon
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Writer Chat Noir
Writer
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
PG-13
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7758 Reads
11 Likes
1 Bookmarks
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The Sun & Moon
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The Sun & Moon
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A - A - A
Intro 2 3 4 5 6 7
#1
The last breath
Chat Noir
Jul 14, 2017
0
3
250
3 Mins Read
Comments ( 3 )
Lunassandra Hughes - I think its an interesting beginning. Im should be I'm. Titles and Relations are capitalized. None of the characters are given any real trait? I wish they were because as of the first chapter none of them seem memorable which could cause trouble for the reader as they progress in the story. I'll continue on.
3 years agoreply

Chat Noir - My apologies for that, however that's my style of writing. I don't mean it as a threat of any sort, I'm just stating it so sorry if I caused an offense
3 years agoreply

Lunassandra Hughes - @Chat Noir , Oh no you definitely didn't. I know I can come off as an ass lol. I tend to be brutal with critiques lol. You're good. 
3 years agoreply

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