An Autocrats Guide to High School - Goodbye World | Penana
×

Please use Chrome or Firefox for better user experience!
School
Humor
An Autocrats Guide to High School
Writer Lij Wynter
Writer
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
PG-13
RATED
345 Reads
0 Likes
1 Bookmarks
Popularity

Facebook · Twitter

FAQ · Feedback · Privacy · Terms

Penana © 2018

Get it on Google Play

Download on the App Store

Follow Author
An Autocrats Guide to High School
1 Bookmarks
A - A - A
#1
Goodbye World
Lij Wynter
Jul 29, 2017
0
0
46
7 Mins Read
No Plagiarism!VFh7SeOQugwoMbWbXrDSposted on PENANA

"This world is far too painful for me to go through. I can only hope that a better one is on the other side ... one that isn't so gay... or sh*tty... or filled with AID's ridden 10-year-old sh*t's that keep screaming when I go to school on the bus... *hh* the world is gonna be a lot worse without me, that's for sure. I mean, the gene pool is only gonna have handicaps in it. Not one person as good as I will ever exist again... I can feel the tears on my corpse already, from my folks, my siblings, that really hot girl I never went to talk to when I had the chance... and my girlfriend. But as they say, all good things must come to an end, and the best thing that's ever been is gonna end right now."copyright protection46PENANATYpyuMZdhl

A loud burst of air violently erupted through the atmosphere and the gags and tears of many flooded the room accompanied by the sound of tons of hard objects hitting the water at breakneck speeds. Everyone in the bathroom ran out in horror and the bystanders all began to fall on their knees trying not to breathe in the noxious fumes. The sound of high-grade explosive diarrhea resonated through the school and all in a 10-foot radius of the source had fainted.copyright protection46PENANA1c1jjUx8L2

"My life as I know it..." Moans of agony and anguish washed through the air with the stench of putrid, rotting cabbage water and poorly cooked sushi as an avalanche of students tumbled over each other, trying desperately to escape.copyright protection46PENANAoirbtnnrP1

A few seconds had passed from the initial detonation and all around the epicenter of impact had fainted in their own vomit and tears. This was a sight akin to the view of a war-ravaged battlefield under heavy infantry.copyright protection46PENANAjIZJguwgHN

A low and distant moan, through the silence, had begun to creep through. "Aoohhh... my ass... it's hurrrrts *sob* so bad... aarrghh." Said some lonesome voice at the center of the turmoil that plagued the halls. And then a second eruption burst forth followed by a pained groan of a man giving birth to a monster. It continued for 5 minutes straight, until... it stopped, and all that came after was "Is it... ah crap, don't tell me... my ass is bleeding! It's gonna get infected!"copyright protection46PENANABJZD2jxAsi

[???: "No need to panic, the stench of your shit killed the bacteria"]copyright protection46PENANACQA424rpwg

The mystery voice started to give a vulgar laugh in response to the bombers troubles.copyright protection46PENANAqPZqzgU5wC

[Eli: Ugh... why can't you just leave me alone?...]copyright protection46PENANAS7mSLobiZD

[???: Cause that would make life easy, and I'm not about that life.]copyright protection46PENANABCucGwg8WM

And with a pained expression smeared across his face, he helpless shat while crying from the pain.copyright protection46PENANApnCoNbEIga

About an hour had passed and the boy who had purged himself of his bowels was seated in the office of the principal, seated on a metal chair with a block of ice taped under it.copyright protection46PENANAl8iI146cm6

[Principal: Uhhh, what's your name again?]copyright protection46PENANAQYJkapRrxO

[???: You're kidding, right? You don't know me? I'm the guy who just rendered a few students unconscious, and you're asking who I am?]copyright protection46PENANAdWbQlZ10Ii

[ Principal: That's nothing to brag about boy, you caused serious problems for this school, and worse, yourself. You have single-handedly incapacitated over a dozen students, made dozens projectile vomit, and those who did vomit fell into their vomit and could tell what who was near them had for dinner. But I didn't ask you why you're here now did I? I asked for your name.]copyright protection46PENANAa3rtLsxSFU

The boy seated in front of the large frame of the principal said with gusto in his breath [ Eliot! Pleasure meeting you sir.] He said while giving an outstretched arm with a thumbs up on the other side, with a helping dose of a one-eyed smile. The principal sighed deeply, so deep that the glass of water on his desk began to shake.copyright protection46PENANAZvSIQ28IuF

[ Principal: Okay... asides from the pressing health issues you caused this morning. There is another pressing issue at hand, and it you can't guess, I'll have to spell it out for you... Your school life. I am quite concerned with it.]copyright protection46PENANAwICHyYHAYp

[ Eliot: What's there to be concerned about? I'm a straight B and sometimes B+ student, what's there to concerned about?]copyright protection46PENANAS9tjDfMb8r

[ Principal: Eliott-]copyright protection46PENANA57WYQN1Yvv

[ Eliot: No. It's Eliot.]copyright protection46PENANAE1dhJLfrme

[ Principal: What?]copyright protection46PENANAQenky1zkcI

[ Eliot: You said it with two t's, it's only one.]copyright protection46PENANALhQIgGvhF0

The principal again sighed a bit and gave him a perturbed look. A few seconds passed awkwardly until Eliot said [I won't interrupt again...]. The principal again exhaled.copyright protection46PENANAMj20BMMQd8

[ Principal: Eliot... You know what I mean. You know what the kids here are like. They're not very nice to others who stand out in a... bad way... like how you did.]copyright protection46PENANA53ntnVuXgG

He continued after a momentary break to shoo the students eavesdropping at his office door.copyright protection46PENANAF2YvKfcfwR

[ Principal: You should know personally what teenagers are like, heck even teenagers from my days-]copyright protection46PENANAgjbijM45Dh

[ Eliot: You had teenagers back then?]copyright protection46PENANAdIlAcJwGGM

[Principal: ......]copyright protection46PENANAnmOmSzB4P7

[ Eliot: Oh yeah, quiet...]copyright protection46PENANAW5q7oKUtPx

[Principal: Anyways. I think it's best we consult your parents and see if a transfer would be the best course of action, what do you think?]copyright protection46PENANAL3g6EsPa9w

[ Eliot: What I think? I could play naïve and ask why, but I'm not that dumb. I think it's pointless. Sir.]copyright protection46PENANAXwTMSLltPa

[ Principal: I know, I know, you might want to know why there has to be a tran-... what? What do you mean pointless?]copyright protection46PENANABLg2TFNN8C

[Eliot: Exactly what I meant. I'll explain. It's a new school year. Umm. You see, if I... um, you know... If I transfer this early, then I go to a new school. And then the new students would want to know why. I'll lie, and they won't believe it. What happened here will spread on social media and my face will be over the net and the new students will know me as an explosive guy... ugh... I won't be able to cope since I would have no friends and it will be hell with me being teased every day. And the reason that incident happened today would only increase in a new environment. See?]copyright protection46PENANAlTGCZl4Pwe

[Principal: But that still doesn't fully explain why you want to stay, you know these kids will eat you alive right?]copyright protection46PENANAmtKfgD0B7Q

[Eliot: I sadly know of how low the intelligence of these buffo-... school mates are. The way I see it is, if I stay here, then what's it to me? The same thing will happen, just faster, I can't escape that. I'll just get teased and potentially bullied, except I'll have my true... and how I loathe saying that... friends will be near me. I'll just have to ignore it.]copyright protection46PENANAMJC3LvIyjQ

The principal placed his hands down on his desk and stared at Eliot with a blankness he didn't know he had. He was speechless for that moment, not because of a lack of retort, but out of a small sense of admiration. He knew that the kid in front of him with a sore ass was right. There would be no escaping the ridicule to come.copyright protection46PENANAbFKShJdlzJ

[Principal: Doesn't that chair get too cold?]copyright protection46PENANAzWdkctYc55

[Eliot: Not at all, it's the same temperature as my girlfriend's soul... I guess I should call her my ex, she'll probably break up with me now...]copyright protection46PENANA3SOGVAbE8v

[Principal: Hmm. Kid, I like the way you look at things, but we'll still have to see what your parents think is best for you, but astute observation.]copyright protection46PENANAukafcsZqOy

The principal laughed a little and Eliot loomed at him with a wry smile, not being able to do much else in the pain he was in.copyright protection46PENANA9ovmIHPGUU

[Principal: Okay, I think I can do something to help you out.]copyright protection46PENANAMXNADIaPnj

He leaned over his large wooden desk with his broad shoulders eclipsing the background in Eliot's vision, as he said: [How about this?]copyright protection46PENANAlREw7QY6gM

[Principal: If you hear anyone say anything to injure you, you just send an email to me, with your parent's permission of course, and the stuck up entitled turd will get a punishment for offending you. Would you like that?]copyright protection46PENANAEqaaMTRCzM

[Eliot: Why yes sire, I would love to eat that pop tart on a warm Tuesday afternoon.]copyright protection46PENANAxmKkWo37eq

[Principal: What?]copyright protection46PENANArzi56pV4vc

[Eliot: Nothing.] copyright protection46PENANARaC1kpVc1u

54.80.208.105

ns54.80.208.105da2
Comments ( 0 )

No comments yet. Be the first!
Loading...
X