Time Machine Angel - Alex: Lucky | Penana
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Angst
Friendship
Time Machine Angel
Writer seiko_usui
Writer
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
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Time Machine Angel
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#2
Alex: Lucky
seiko_usui
May 17, 2018
0
0
19
9 Mins Read
No Plagiarism!5IIeK4SCwn0RmbgsAyP8posted on PENANA

This is a story of a girl named Lucky.copyright protection19PENANA4F8ckgp0BF

Cecil handed me the microphone as the song picked up. Lucky. Britney Spears. copyright protection19PENANA0GoJV8NNKk

It may be is another 2000s mega-hit from a manufactured pop star, as Irvine would call it but there are a lot of things that appear to be dead-end shallow but does go on a lot of levels.copyright protection19PENANAaLbxWrZx0P

Case in point: this song that talks about the woes and the existential crises that surrounds celebrity life that can also be interpreted as an ode to having everything and yet you are never contented. I despise people who are never grateful. People consumed by a certain degree of greed that they fail to find themselves in a better light. copyright protection19PENANAF4uOhP4HPF

I think it's the people's problem that they fail to see anything good within themselves. I think people are inherently good, it's just that one way or the other we fall slaves to the demons that we have cultivated or to the demons that linger, choosing us as candidates for their petty entertainment. copyright protection19PENANAmPmLyhTm5D

I'm not a saint. I have well-founded demons too. I just don't know what they are just yet. Rather, I'm just too scared to meet them yet. And a lot of people get through life without ever encountering them. copyright protection19PENANAGgpSNlkNTk

19:45, Friday. It's my 30th birthday and I should think of things I should be grateful about.copyright protection19PENANACzp7nHWsoM

Lucky. Everyone thinks that I am anyway. Strange.copyright protection19PENANA8LCvwbMpyS

I am currently surrounded by people I am not close with to a certain degree. I wonder what these people get from throwing parties for their colleagues. Will it make me not quit my job when I get pregnant? Will I not ask for a raise when my kid goes to school? Will they get higher chances of being promoted? copyright protection19PENANA3f8s7WOrJH

I don't get it. How do these people see me anyway? No one told me a single thing. Maybe they will once the bottles start running out.copyright protection19PENANAMmgbuESr6h

She's so lucky, she's a star.copyright protection19PENANAde2PJy1wYz

And she cry cry cries in the lonely night thinking,copyright protection19PENANAo1OxtVtind

If there's nothing missing in my life, copyright protection19PENANAZaAgl4Uev0

Then why do these feelings come at night?copyright protection19PENANAvIfxyZ6zv4

One of the ladies, a new intern was singing along with a smile on her face. She's probably around 22. And it's quite amazing that she knows the song quite well. copyright protection19PENANA9U5XrzTVRh

Despite the sound of what could be associated with bad keyboard playing and exaggerated technical effects, I can hear my colleagues giving me compliments on my singing and sharing their own experiences of turning older. It was weird to look at a party of women, turning older talking about fantasies of being a mother, a bride and a wife. It's strange to be in a day and age where marriage is no longer a part of the trail of life. It's only a mere option, a mere economic scheme. No more people searching the ends of the world to be with the one they love. It's almost valid to say that love no longer exists. Rather, it's just a term we use to describe something that is always in between, something that we really can't explain.copyright protection19PENANA8RrI7NN22i

It's sad. And then there's Irvine. Irvine. copyright protection19PENANA2x0i5zhc9N

I love Irvine. Scrawny, awkward, and loving Irvine. His dark eyes that resonate in the silence of the night. His subtlety, his mere presence, just calms me down. The way he holds me,  I don't want to let go of it. copyright protection19PENANAgiHmg9Wa5O

It's strange now that I think of it, all he ever did was ask me questions and for some reason, here we are now. Five years. copyright protection19PENANAsdFTWNHJPJ

Five Years. David Bowie. Every time someone mentions the words "Five Years", he would always hum the tune with a smile on his face. I don't even know who David Bowie is. copyright protection19PENANA2Sh3anCsAM

Although looking at it further, Irvine does embody the awkwardness and hidden charm of David. He is not as flamboyant though, but he certainly has that charm. Though David has a pair of damaged eyes, Irvine has a pair of dark eyes that pierce even through the night. A bit dull and yet it never fails to notice even the tiniest details of things. He is a man of a few words and yet when he does say something it provokes something in people. copyright protection19PENANAfR4Xdl6awb

"Hey, Alex!" Barbara, my boss, sat beside me and offered me a drink. "Where's Irvine?! is he coming?"copyright protection19PENANAYYpDSmrz6g

Someone was singing "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. That's a fun song. I started tapping my feet to the opening line.copyright protection19PENANAj88BbjZOLz

"Uh. I don't think so. He said it's girls night, it's best that he leaves us alone."copyright protection19PENANAA0qFYD14Ox

"Aww!" Barbara gushed. "Where did you find that guy?! I want one! Have you ever encountered someone that understanding? My last ex-was a bummer!"copyright protection19PENANAgMvGqo3RY9

"When was your last ex- anyway?" I asked and for some reason, an air of odd silence came in the stuffed karaoke room. I might've just ruined my own birthday party by asking the most offensive question one can think of while being in the company of career women and Queen Bees.copyright protection19PENANA7higTuzSjl

Barbara, probably around her mid-forties as a good guess rolled her eyes and grinned. I think I'm about to be doused in embarrassment and gossip next week at work. I was already thinking of ways to retaliate just in case things really wouldn't end well.copyright protection19PENANArUlRzjvBoj

Congratulations Alex! You just lost your job for your 30th birthday.copyright protection19PENANA8F6Elw3on1

"Well it has been a long time, Alex. But then I still have flings then and there. It's just that, when you get to my age, it's just all but frustrating that men are still stupid the way you left them when you were younger. You know Richie that doctor on the other side of town? Fancy car, but bigoted. And it's nice to know that guys like Irvine exist. You are lucky to have met someone as early as now." copyright protection19PENANAyviQMbll4E

Barbara finished her cocktail and ordered another one. copyright protection19PENANAGvy2n8mSJL

Lucky. Word of the night. copyright protection19PENANAcSqixMPAbd

"Think of Irvine seriously. He maybe is your only chance at actual happiness. The actual definition of what it actually means to love someone. Grab my purse, let's smoke outside." copyright protection19PENANACJIUAv6WQa

"Well, I no longer smoke."copyright protection19PENANAAxG9A3iWW1

"That's fine. Second-hand smoke with me then."copyright protection19PENANAI8U8qsVg36

My birthday really was a ladies night. Just as we left the room, someone was already singing Madonna's "Material Girl".copyright protection19PENANAtFQcArHHnx

Barbara was not a shabby woman for whatever her age is anyway. She had been graceful still with age. Her body is a living proof of motherhood while her eyes spell the disappointment over romance and the pride in her success. copyright protection19PENANARY5y7FBpCx

I reached for my lighter and lit her cigarette.copyright protection19PENANArkFmt6PpmS

"I thought you no longer smoke? How come you have a lighter?"copyright protection19PENANAvQyl28NJPa

"Well, I keep one because I like lighting Irvine's cigarette."copyright protection19PENANAhH9mfg2RGF

"Fetish?"copyright protection19PENANAp805vuclTy

I shook my head and let a little laugh. The rain just stopped and the Makati skyline is once again clear and bright. The neon advertisements and billboards guard the city as nightwalkers fill the city to take it over for themselves until the sun comes back and the regular people flock the streets again. It's just that kind of cycle. Irvine told me that observation and now it's just hard to ignore. copyright protection19PENANAdopMKrVyaL

"Anyways, happy birthday Alex. Thirty is a glorious number. So speaking of, how long have you been dating Irvine?"copyright protection19PENANAIrsROI8RAP

"Five years."copyright protection19PENANAxZYx4u1gPV

"Ah. David Bowie." Barbara sighed and puffed her cigarette.copyright protection19PENANAP3keP5FKDQ

Why does everyone know that guy?!copyright protection19PENANAvmiYe7HnYh

"Should you guys be married soon anyway?"copyright protection19PENANAcvhb3lF5Cv

That's one question I would want to light a cigarette for. copyright protection19PENANA0sykGnqm83

And just like some sort of mind reader, she offered me her packet and took one for myself.copyright protection19PENANAdEpvDDCk0B

"I don't know. We never talked about it."copyright protection19PENANACd7Toaf4fS

Barbara blinked, "Oh dear god why?! You already have the right to bring it up! You're 30, not 18. Don't you want to settle down already?!"copyright protection19PENANAzgk8B1v1oE

"I do. I just don't know if Irvine feels the same way."copyright protection19PENANA4Biu7V7Kg8

Barbara lit another cigarette. "Oh, Christ. For a couple of my envy, I am so surprised at how you guys even operate. But then even perfect pictures have their controversies. You have to ask him soon, otherwise, you're probably just wasting your time. And I know you're one of those women who likes to keep a tidy kitchen while the kids run around in a tiny yard or just in that small pen you set up in the living room. Passive little thing, aren't you Alex?"copyright protection19PENANAlSlsMKD2PT

She crushed her cigarette and gave me a pat on the shoulder. copyright protection19PENANAUp9fxLg2NF

I could never really defend myself in such situations. And she is right, I am a passive little thing. copyright protection19PENANAHRg0moWt8c

"You have to pull through Alex. You have no much of a choice. Take it from someone who had it worse. Kindness couldn't save anyone in this day and age, believe me. It doesn't even get you far. It landed Christ to be nailed to the cross, to begin with."copyright protection19PENANABu5XWSHAUw

The night ended too soon after that conversation.  All my mind can process is the view of the bright lights seemingly moving on their own and the chatter of the women I am with inside a car. Barbara went her separate way and gave me a birthday bonus. copyright protection19PENANAtOVD3tpkvc

"Just in case things backfire and Irvine disappointed us all, have the time of your life nonetheless. You can always buy yourself a ring," she said. copyright protection19PENANAZd4gdqF9TN

The metro has sixteen cities and one municipality. In a way, they are all the same. They all have the same glimmer, the same air of pretentiousness, despair and irony. You are always greeted with the open arms of the neon lights, the tall buildings and the finely dressed people who know where they are headed every single day only to come home to the sight of underfed naked kids running while their mothers look at their smartphones and the men set up their make-shift tables to drink their woes away. copyright protection19PENANAmvirtfkaPe

00:10. Irvine is already home. I was greeted by his semi-naked silhouette by the open window with a cigarette between his fingers. I dropped all my things and ran to his side. copyright protection19PENANAHi2DW66lrC

He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me on my forehead. It always feels so good to come home to these arms, to this kind of warmth. Addicting to a certain degree, and I do wish I don't lose it. copyright protection19PENANAxrQBI31ndV

"Happy Birthday, Alex. Did you have a good time with your coworkers?"copyright protection19PENANAbzrt1UIl5x

I nodded as I run my fingers around his neck. We reached for each other for a kiss. copyright protection19PENANAzNQCqNJx8b

He moved away and crushed his cigarette in the nearby ashtray.  "I didn't get anything for you today, I'm sorry."copyright protection19PENANAaGC0ik4kIh

I was there frozen. I feel like a twelve-year-old disappointed at my parents for not even getting me that gift I was blabbering about since Christmas. Here I am already 30, it's not like a tantrum can fix anything or save me from full-blown disappointment.copyright protection19PENANAgTQHmSC4eH

He gently pulled me to bed. He bathed me with kisses as I was left with nothing but a half open blouse and a skirt rolled up to my waist. His hair brushed against my forehead as he looked down at me and smiled.copyright protection19PENANACOutrVgbtp

"I didn't get you anything for today but I was wondering if you would marry me."copyright protection19PENANAmD5YEojII1

Lucky.copyright protection19PENANAZYUQFhJimX

Tears were forming in the corner of my eyes. I can't even utter the three letter word. copyright protection19PENANAZYLurdpIoT

I nodded. He let out a sigh of relief and took me in for the night.copyright protection19PENANA7KwdJbC3Tk

Lucky.copyright protection19PENANA4TiZJYhtgD

Unexpectedly lucky.copyright protection19PENANAqgBcK3paMN

But then again, why?copyright protection19PENANA3UxA8hLKkE

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