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Angst
Friendship
Time Machine Angel
Writer seiko_usui
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  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
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Time Machine Angel
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#2
Alex: Lucky
seiko_usui
May 17, 2018
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9 Mins Read
No Plagiarism!cqUTmdSil0AqdPg1BYpWposted on PENANA

This is a story of a girl named Lucky.copyright protection5PENANADGQJf0Bttg

Cecil handed me the microphone as the song picked up. Lucky. Britney Spears. copyright protection5PENANA8GH3z3grmB

It may be is another 2000s mega-hit from a manufactured pop star, as Irvine would call it but there are a lot of things that appear to be dead-end shallow but does go on a lot of levels.copyright protection5PENANAsW2FLiGmh6

Case in point: this song that talks about the woes and the existential crises that surrounds celebrity life that can also be interpreted as an ode to having everything and yet you are never contented. I despise people who are never grateful. People consumed by a certain degree of greed that they fail to find themselves in a better light. copyright protection5PENANAjUM9E1agvE

I think it's the people's problem that they fail to see anything good within themselves. I think people are inherently good, it's just that one way or the other we fall slaves to the demons that we have cultivated or to the demons that linger, choosing us as candidates for their petty entertainment. copyright protection5PENANAwDkeGUhXmE

I'm not a saint. I have well-founded demons too. I just don't know what they are just yet. Rather, I'm just too scared to meet them yet. And a lot of people get through life without ever encountering them. copyright protection5PENANAyOABumUbIb

19:45, Friday. It's my 30th birthday and I should think of things I should be grateful about.copyright protection5PENANAi164bK6m1C

Lucky. Everyone thinks that I am anyway. Strange.copyright protection5PENANA0yflMWf4UC

I am currently surrounded by people I am not close with to a certain degree. I wonder what these people get from throwing parties for their colleagues. Will it make me not quit my job when I get pregnant? Will I not ask for a raise when my kid goes to school? Will they get higher chances of being promoted? copyright protection5PENANAIsqi4VEY6n

I don't get it. How do these people see me anyway? No one told me a single thing. Maybe they will once the bottles start running out.copyright protection5PENANA9opftB0AX1

She's so lucky, she's a star.copyright protection5PENANAcYAsjmpzqj

And she cry cry cries in the lonely night thinking,copyright protection5PENANAb9MCrQy6PF

If there's nothing missing in my life, copyright protection5PENANAuY4Texue8r

Then why do these feelings come at night?copyright protection5PENANAglqQOJddjD

One of the ladies, a new intern was singing along with a smile on her face. She's probably around 22. And it's quite amazing that she knows the song quite well. copyright protection5PENANAxuNj7eaFlZ

Despite the sound of what could be associated with bad keyboard playing and exaggerated technical effects, I can hear my colleagues giving me compliments on my singing and sharing their own experiences of turning older. It was weird to look at a party of women, turning older talking about fantasies of being a mother, a bride and a wife. It's strange to be in a day and age where marriage is no longer a part of the trail of life. It's only a mere option, a mere economic scheme. No more people searching the ends of the world to be with the one they love. It's almost valid to say that love no longer exists. Rather, it's just a term we use to describe something that is always in between, something that we really can't explain.copyright protection5PENANAkPYoIcWdr5

It's sad. And then there's Irvine. Irvine. copyright protection5PENANAFHq5yfPLs8

I love Irvine. Scrawny, awkward, and loving Irvine. His dark eyes that resonate in the silence of the night. His subtlety, his mere presence, just calms me down. The way he holds me,  I don't want to let go of it. copyright protection5PENANAp0DcjLruqM

It's strange now that I think of it, all he ever did was ask me questions and for some reason, here we are now. Five years. copyright protection5PENANAuLCsalE7y5

Five Years. David Bowie. Every time someone mentions the words "Five Years", he would always hum the tune with a smile on his face. I don't even know who David Bowie is. copyright protection5PENANAcdNDjlS87l

Although looking at it further, Irvine does embody the awkwardness and hidden charm of David. He is not as flamboyant though, but he certainly has that charm. Though David has a pair of damaged eyes, Irvine has a pair of dark eyes that pierce even through the night. A bit dull and yet it never fails to notice even the tiniest details of things. He is a man of a few words and yet when he does say something it provokes something in people. copyright protection5PENANAhwlUJFFa96

"Hey, Alex!" Barbara, my boss, sat beside me and offered me a drink. "Where's Irvine?! is he coming?"copyright protection5PENANAXDSz52UK9t

Someone was singing "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. That's a fun song. I started tapping my feet to the opening line.copyright protection5PENANAQlHEZ00R97

"Uh. I don't think so. He said it's girls night, it's best that he leaves us alone."copyright protection5PENANAdqEylnd1yn

"Aww!" Barbara gushed. "Where did you find that guy?! I want one! Have you ever encountered someone that understanding? My last ex-was a bummer!"copyright protection5PENANA8v00562ZRc

"When was your last ex- anyway?" I asked and for some reason, an air of odd silence came in the stuffed karaoke room. I might've just ruined my own birthday party by asking the most offensive question one can think of while being in the company of career women and Queen Bees.copyright protection5PENANAtIxamxampk

Barbara, probably around her mid-forties as a good guess rolled her eyes and grinned. I think I'm about to be doused in embarrassment and gossip next week at work. I was already thinking of ways to retaliate just in case things really wouldn't end well.copyright protection5PENANAuCK8b6wo84

Congratulations Alex! You just lost your job for your 30th birthday.copyright protection5PENANAMgANgFUjFL

"Well it has been a long time, Alex. But then I still have flings then and there. It's just that, when you get to my age, it's just all but frustrating that men are still stupid the way you left them when you were younger. You know Richie that doctor on the other side of town? Fancy car, but bigoted. And it's nice to know that guys like Irvine exist. You are lucky to have met someone as early as now." copyright protection5PENANAv8t3iQAtcZ

Barbara finished her cocktail and ordered another one. copyright protection5PENANANGCyPNFlcN

Lucky. Word of the night. copyright protection5PENANApY3ZLjFFCk

"Think of Irvine seriously. He maybe is your only chance at actual happiness. The actual definition of what it actually means to love someone. Grab my purse, let's smoke outside." copyright protection5PENANAq8sUbKKLeX

"Well, I no longer smoke."copyright protection5PENANAL2EnAtafPm

"That's fine. Second-hand smoke with me then."copyright protection5PENANA3fl6f6qUM3

My birthday really was a ladies night. Just as we left the room, someone was already singing Madonna's "Material Girl".copyright protection5PENANAedbH7msS8G

Barbara was not a shabby woman for whatever her age is anyway. She had been graceful still with age. Her body is a living proof of motherhood while her eyes spell the disappointment over romance and the pride in her success. copyright protection5PENANAQUIuhjYszO

I reached for my lighter and lit her cigarette.copyright protection5PENANAPC3aIig9d3

"I thought you no longer smoke? How come you have a lighter?"copyright protection5PENANAcsgo9nKBgT

"Well, I keep one because I like lighting Irvine's cigarette."copyright protection5PENANAi6N0B5jzxT

"Fetish?"copyright protection5PENANAnnvrxeKOnX

I shook my head and let a little laugh. The rain just stopped and the Makati skyline is once again clear and bright. The neon advertisements and billboards guard the city as nightwalkers fill the city to take it over for themselves until the sun comes back and the regular people flock the streets again. It's just that kind of cycle. Irvine told me that observation and now it's just hard to ignore. copyright protection5PENANARAp7YzvJaL

"Anyways, happy birthday Alex. Thirty is a glorious number. So speaking of, how long have you been dating Irvine?"copyright protection5PENANADsSqttvN33

"Five years."copyright protection5PENANAGqqcSYqCMO

"Ah. David Bowie." Barbara sighed and puffed her cigarette.copyright protection5PENANAzEoZLnyg6J

Why does everyone know that guy?!copyright protection5PENANA2JbUaFnGsq

"Should you guys be married soon anyway?"copyright protection5PENANAJ8RakJ8LmV

That's one question I would want to light a cigarette for. copyright protection5PENANAzVzYVkluBs

And just like some sort of mind reader, she offered me her packet and took one for myself.copyright protection5PENANAdEcpym4W3w

"I don't know. We never talked about it."copyright protection5PENANAnNFfX0Z6Ml

Barbara blinked, "Oh dear god why?! You already have the right to bring it up! You're 30, not 18. Don't you want to settle down already?!"copyright protection5PENANA1lhAkcVGHw

"I do. I just don't know if Irvine feels the same way."copyright protection5PENANA9UbljJIoGL

Barbara lit another cigarette. "Oh, Christ. For a couple of my envy, I am so surprised at how you guys even operate. But then even perfect pictures have their controversies. You have to ask him soon, otherwise, you're probably just wasting your time. And I know you're one of those women who likes to keep a tidy kitchen while the kids run around in a tiny yard or just in that small pen you set up in the living room. Passive little thing, aren't you Alex?"copyright protection5PENANAU3yAjwBiCn

She crushed her cigarette and gave me a pat on the shoulder. copyright protection5PENANADEJVe38aKP

I could never really defend myself in such situations. And she is right, I am a passive little thing. copyright protection5PENANAHTJSe3BXri

"You have to pull through Alex. You have no much of a choice. Take it from someone who had it worse. Kindness couldn't save anyone in this day and age, believe me. It doesn't even get you far. It landed Christ to be nailed to the cross, to begin with."copyright protection5PENANAJmmiWFOyYr

The night ended too soon after that conversation.  All my mind can process is the view of the bright lights seemingly moving on their own and the chatter of the women I am with inside a car. Barbara went her separate way and gave me a birthday bonus. copyright protection5PENANAVC5ExkIFvs

"Just in case things backfire and Irvine disappointed us all, have the time of your life nonetheless. You can always buy yourself a ring," she said. copyright protection5PENANAucle4AhGxI

The metro has sixteen cities and one municipality. In a way, they are all the same. They all have the same glimmer, the same air of pretentiousness, despair and irony. You are always greeted with the open arms of the neon lights, the tall buildings and the finely dressed people who know where they are headed every single day only to come home to the sight of underfed naked kids running while their mothers look at their smartphones and the men set up their make-shift tables to drink their woes away. copyright protection5PENANAYg5ky20nAY

00:10. Irvine is already home. I was greeted by his semi-naked silhouette by the open window with a cigarette between his fingers. I dropped all my things and ran to his side. copyright protection5PENANAPwAVa7fTNK

He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me on my forehead. It always feels so good to come home to these arms, to this kind of warmth. Addicting to a certain degree, and I do wish I don't lose it. copyright protection5PENANAmhXIw1iNHQ

"Happy Birthday, Alex. Did you have a good time with your coworkers?"copyright protection5PENANAwG7B0GE03e

I nodded as I run my fingers around his neck. We reached for each other for a kiss. copyright protection5PENANAZSKzOVH3Pu

He moved away and crushed his cigarette in the nearby ashtray.  "I didn't get anything for you today, I'm sorry."copyright protection5PENANAObMLTiNc6u

I was there frozen. I feel like a twelve-year-old disappointed at my parents for not even getting me that gift I was blabbering about since Christmas. Here I am already 30, it's not like a tantrum can fix anything or save me from full-blown disappointment.copyright protection5PENANA2CaaebQScU

He gently pulled me to bed. He bathed me with kisses as I was left with nothing but a half open blouse and a skirt rolled up to my waist. His hair brushed against my forehead as he looked down at me and smiled.copyright protection5PENANA7cNRLBNtFC

"I didn't get you anything for today but I was wondering if you would marry me."copyright protection5PENANAXuNKfH23T9

Lucky.copyright protection5PENANAyWLJ60UWS7

Tears were forming in the corner of my eyes. I can't even utter the three letter word. copyright protection5PENANARZjER5fEyU

I nodded. He let out a sigh of relief and took me in for the night.copyright protection5PENANAgwp4gFMjIF

Lucky.copyright protection5PENANAsgBeZIeUF7

Unexpectedly lucky.copyright protection5PENANA1w7kaYpqDX

But then again, why?copyright protection5PENANAlUuKZKpL47

54.81.0.22

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