【45. Secret Angel 】800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjn9dvO4hx
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhEo1nUfMo
死亡是一種哲學。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMYBx8CWZ3
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不知哪個哲學家曾經說過：800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvNLyZgs2o
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如果世上沒有任何人再記得你，這就是最終極的死亡了。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8sy4wPtbU
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如果按照這個想法，我應該已經死咗十世。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAJlyOiXh5
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但現實只是，我連尋死的勇氣都欠奉。又或者這樣說，喜歡余青玲的王傲風已經死了，如今的我徒具空殻，死與不死又有何分別？800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUtIYtQXv6
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接下來的好幾個星期，我都無地自容得不敢再面對她。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwUiJmMrgx
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昔日掛在臉上的笑容，如今已不再復見。雖然她嘴裡說著「我冇事」、「唔緊要」，每天都認真地上課、抄筆記，原本做社務的時間用來了上補習班，功課的水準不退反增⋯⋯但我看得出，她只是在裝堅強。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCHRGvaz6t
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我知道自己已沒有資格待她好，但有一個人可以。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nXFWlvmN3
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「咦？咩嚟㗎？阿儀，係咪你㗎？」阿玲揉著眼睛，拿起了一張白卡紙。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEqVAW6JI4
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「吓？唔係啊⋯⋯」哈比人應道，一副心不在焉的樣子。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4MGFKyzP5
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阿玲皺一皺眉，看到了卡紙上面有一行行的小字，然後笑了一下。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Xq0dJHk29
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這就足夠了。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1NTF1TSdF
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之後數個星期，在放聖誕假前，都有一個人在她的桌上放了一張白卡紙，有時還會附上一排她最愛的朱古力，是那個人上化學堂時偷聽到的牌子，可惜那朱古力經常缺貨，他花掉了一整個下午的時間走遍全元朗，才能搶到這麼一排；買不到的時候，那個人就會用烏龍茶代替。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDCnWZ6A72
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9t4MTw56u
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那個人不是想表現出自己的好，他只是想阿玲可以因為他自己所做的一點小事，而變得開心一點點。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHxI2EcVoC
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後來我從哈比人口中得知，那個人會署名自己為 SA 。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eRZHFsq4s
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SA，Secret Angel ，祕密的守護天使。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyD4XfXjJy
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自從SA 出現了之後，阿玲似乎很苦惱，明明班會沒有搞 Secret Angel ，怎麼會有這些白卡紙的出現？SA 的好意，她又應不應該收下呢？800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9ZzPBx8OH
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「阿風？」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGcz3oWRNJ
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「嗯？」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3Fz2cqpd5
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「你知唔知邊個送呢啲嘢俾我㗎？」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjapa5rSLJ
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「唔知喎⋯⋯又會有人咁無聊都有嘅哈哈⋯⋯」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpR9Il42ai
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「咁⋯⋯如果你知道佢係邊個，你記得要話我知啊！佢係咁送嘢俾我都覺得有啲唔好意思⋯⋯」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF2dEFS9FN
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「哦⋯⋯好啊⋯⋯係呢，佢其實寫咗啲咩㗎？」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeuNv06zTk
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「其實都冇咩嘅，佢成日都叫我加油同俾心機囉，仲話好鍾意我笑嘅樣，明明就好樣衰哈哈⋯⋯」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPtQBB0A8Z
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「哦⋯⋯原來係咁⋯⋯」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGQ9mF6YLw
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北風正宣告聖誕節的來臨；天氣很冷，但依然無法影響聖誕聯歡會的熱鬧氣氛，全校上下都高興地慶祝著，已然忘記了陸運會時的不愉快事件。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeg9Lp6RiNC
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當我回到班房的時候，其他同學已經將班房裝飾得美輪美奐，金色的鍛帶、七彩的聖誕小球、白板上的聖誕老人鹿車圖⋯⋯甚至還有人不知從哪裡弄來一棵聖誕樹，把它妥當地放在課室一隅。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfkLnSzsyr
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「阿玲佢今日冇返？」我隨口抓了身旁的同學問道。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOzO46SOQN
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「吓？阿玲病咗喎，今朝佢同我講佢病到起唔到身㖭，」他擺出一副「乜你唔知咩」的樣子。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLZIXzqCPO
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「吓⋯⋯聖誕聯歡會先嚟病？」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtFR6lHJxx
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「係囉⋯⋯你係關心人嘅就探下人啦！」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAJRzz2h49
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「唔⋯⋯睇下點先喇。」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8rBjdKRvI
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在洋溢歡樂氣氛的班房裡，一班男生正在猜拳，決定哪個勇者吃下某女生所造的綠色流心地獄薄荷朱古力。不幸的Ivan 猜輸了，只好在其他男人起鬨後吞下朱古力，才一嚥下喉嚨，他的臉便𣊬間變青，差點昏倒。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0V7DObHWf
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我陪笑了幾下之後，大家便一起吃比薩、飲汽水、交換禮物⋯⋯反正就是派對的例行公事，然後主席忽然舉手，提議我們影一張班相。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgT1CXdtAv8
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女生在前排互相比高，男生在後排嬉笑怒罵，老師坐在中間沒他們好氣。整個畫面的色彩是何等斑爛好看，彷佛是用青春畫出來的油彩畫，美得連彩虹也羨慕。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHroWnhvfyY
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而我是一幅黑白色的水墨畫。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC94Ihc4DaI
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我不禁想起在中三最後的上課日，同樣有人不知何時準備了三角架和專業相機，興高采烈地提議影班相。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OGqiWDXza
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「好啊！」熱情的阿玲第一個衝了出去，甚至還指揮大家推開礙事的桌子椅子。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTojtrmeNKX
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「嚟！高嘅企前面，更高嘅企後面！」阿玲振臂高呼，召集大家來到白板前方。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRgUFHPhOw
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於是全班三十多人便壓縮只有班房三分之一的空間，一時之間摩肩接踵，大家都能感受到彼此的鼻息。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKjrlZ8Tz0
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班主任提著椅子，坐在中間位置，旁邊便是阿玲。幸好我個子不高，一早就被人拉到前排，湊巧就站在阿玲旁邊。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFgE6ILtce
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她身上傳來迷人的花香，香得令我的心跳漏了一拍，讓我不禁懷疑，這氣味是會令人上癮的。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtY3t4l2Cz
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正當我仍陶醉於那香氣的時候，相機忽然發出頻密的閃光。猶在夢中的我連忙擠出一個笑容，但快門早已掠下我的倉皇。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpL2RobnNh
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「王、王傲風，你、你做咩⋯⋯喊啊？」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0GOqfE6Qz
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「吓？」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Myp33egUa
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拿著相機的Ivan 呆呆地看著我，一副不知所措的樣子。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8T20VcIfz
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我摸一摸自己的臉，竟然是濕潤的，眼眶不知何時已熱了起來，淚水如決堤般潸潸落下。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlR2Fszrad
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我的淚容很快就引起了同學和班主任的注意，周圍漸漸多了交頭接耳的聲音。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0R5xUvrYT
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「你做咩啊？唔好喊啦。」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaVhXzmyFG
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「要唔要紙巾？」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEWkLudmdk
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「哎啊⋯⋯講下發生咗咩事啦！」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgVYplIKiG
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800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbDz5Ycq6C
此時班主任向我遞出了一張紙巾，可我已控制不住自己，一手撥開了她的手，拿起了書包衝出班房，大叫：「唔好意思！我想早退！」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffFbu32tlV
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb5D0puKoX
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eLFDe0mEw
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0H02cQg6Kt
我不管撞跌了多少枱櫈，只管一昧向前衝，淚水不斷往後灑著，黑壓壓的一大片悶在心頭，想吐卻吐不出來。我的雙腿就像著了火，唯有一直向前跑，才能舒服一點點。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbidNbwlVPz
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYxnYTBKuM
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5CvT1OAB3
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbToZJCPoB3
原來無論我多麼努力多麼渴望多麼壓抑，我都沒辦法放下她。愈是想忘記她，她就愈常出現在我的腦海裡，就像我在中學裡的所有回憶，都有著她的痕跡，而且永不磨滅。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnSgNycJRk
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74rSLbWkmV
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAX5juzCZlQ
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFq2AAIpClh
我隨即跳上了一架巴士，竭力抑壓著想哭的衝動，不想任何人見到我的窘態。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sJPGmLIks
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmoZBWgCE3
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Phq6VgAJG
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Xeftcp50i
然後，不知是緣分所繫，抑或是命運的安排，我隨意下車的地方竟就是阿玲所住的屋宛。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhA4QViRkx
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7YablzhLc
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMVT9dgr3y
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoK5I9nv6r
我猶豫了片刻，結果還是打開了大門。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYA6IhASDw2
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIajPEzuAn
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0H0DxD0tre
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFj92jI772u
世界是涼薄的，連大堂的冷氣都開得特別大，等待升降機的時間也特別長。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmixaYpjiCw
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCbHhf5bK1
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbm5DkvLwE
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyMErG523f
隨著金屬版上顯示的數字不斷的跳動增加，我的腦袋也漸漸變得混沌、緊張。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc04BnnFLB9
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoTHKmV6nL
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hbarO0qRj
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ns68JIIXj
我記得⋯⋯佢係住呢個單位。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8EQTyhbQa
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eAIIwHqKD
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dCWqyxmcV
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTsufiu8dU
㩒響門鐘，睇下佢有冇事就走啦⋯⋯800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmAnGs78Nq
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyXiPuo5GL
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRD0SPNhkVa
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0t50Ajq729
我這樣想著，手指卻凝在了門鐘前兩公分的位置動彈不得。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6Pwx5f6gd
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZj3cqzePU
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHcdRcDiys
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDe1rRkO95r
我做不到。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlikFmnjpB
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzco8oI6xbA
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZcquJnTUN
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOMjzkRjSB
我說不出原因，但我就是做不到，我無法鼓起勇氣面對她。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mGDxMN7mI
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYvGSfV7YB
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ597UDjSVpz
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AMDWxCyl7
於是我收回按鈴的手，轉而往書包裡探，然後拿出了一枝筆和一張白卡紙。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKItl87K8ZS
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGOTGQui2r
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3EFVyJX3h
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnoH7Rq2BB
//800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwjJIT7rwb
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kDz5L6rA0
親愛的阿玲：800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMA6k58lfDW
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZIecLqnzt
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcqnT4EVON
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtOIbaymKh
估唔到咁健康嘅你竟然病咗！仲冇得嚟聖誕聯歡 T.T 不過唔緊要啦！我哋玩得好開心啊！你都要快啲好返知唔知！我哋下學期再見啦 ！^_^ 800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJX7O6FMjdg
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74jW2QEEhp
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WMao5uWXK
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQG5VMbphL
S.A. 800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fVaB0he4h
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElHnQCIlLZ
//800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgD09Efimv
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRz2yuWt0JD
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFh2LqCIgo
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlm5gsDvAW
寫完之後，我覺得好像還漏了些甚麼，於是再最後加上了一句：800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QFBDB9LZS
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIaCinVXC1
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9uo857ERW
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ThEHqUzdQ
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6G1G8LpDc
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHvis1g5mJ
P.S. I love you800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfo7OdDyL1d
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJ39uOzJkv
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeppavsk79N
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRsRhSMuCX
我把白卡紙攝進門縫，無聲地離開。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHUtkC3Pj1
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OnGMjXtOr
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeODPOPvEGw
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMfSyuNBez
原來我真的是想走的，可是走到樓下時，卻有種沒有由的依依不捨。我站在原地看著阿玲的單位，總覺得她會探出頭來跟我say hi。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKgLYFwWpF
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCmBXUOWcD
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbj52b1k8kJ
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡId6wgc2ZXx
最後當然沒有。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6WuJKfAYg
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3PPXwFTSB
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUi6X6dDbzb
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSNRAvhQnB
我苦笑了一下，跳上了回家的巴士，撥了一通電話。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDa7za2fe7
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKMPmXh7lb
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK5NQiUyF6
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4EO2qZfVG
「喂？」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1i8yV1rGRP
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7CSYeYQ6H
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VhM8D9Xto
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtqWHlcfwF
「咩事啊，阿哥？」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrryIxE3y6K
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfbaTN6qcE
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeVN4TZI43
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXXY6go99E
「你夜晚得唔得閑啊，我唔開心。」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKS5yoSuuAf
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jlWYGRNe0
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aHgWgze0H
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNz7c6Z4Ax
「好、好啊⋯⋯」800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGw3UQEejx
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjJyxfa7DG
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3K1SrRM5r
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5MCJdMVQi
掛斷電話之後，我漫無目的地望向窗邊外的街道。巴士剛好來到了元朗的舊區，陳舊的大廈外牆有如煙燻的痕跡，老店的招牌銹跡斑駁，搖搖欲墜的燈牌上站著幾隻小鳥。眾所周知，這裡是眾多男性放班後的尋歡之地，但正值下午時份，粉色的螢光燈還未是時候亮起。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcAQBJFIPT
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFE2vLnwIe4
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkW5xd6WPY
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcIa3NvBP8
我的視線隨著車廂左搖右擺而晃動，沒有看清掠過的街景，卻捕捉到一個眼熟的身影，正與身旁的男人一起走進一棟大廈。800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnozCzAdU00
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwAw0xPtC1
.800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK5yiH9RfJ
800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoAFHl7MbW
是⋯⋯老媽？800Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6jU3gRx2m
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