不少聽到有人形容：「男生就是個用下半身思考的動物！」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrdbTFv0kV
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身為一名英俊瀟灑、人見人愛、花見花開的男孩子，每每聽到此類言論，都有不少想法。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0o6eT54bg
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOUXyaLFmi
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rkCdFmpYr
所以特別想用一種嚴肅、認真並且憤慨的筆吻來回答它們：「沒有錯。」雖然不能說隨時，但大部份都是。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZSXkbdZAD
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Qg3DN3fAe
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT60E3GZVOC
當然此言論不能概刮所以男性，不過80%也許有。縱使想法怪異如我，在這一方面倒是不愧對我這帶把的身體。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExxyHRQvCV
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQaOPOWGtC
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Qe5Pkpo66
「男生平均多久想一次色色的事？」上次聽到有人在討論這樣一個話題，很有趣，也得確值得研究。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWStgrdC08d
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡko5ZyPHPgy
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqavMZ9z4f
在說出我的答案前，我得先說句實話。要寫這類文章真的不容易，因為大多數男生包括我，是不會和其它人討論「你一星期打幾次」、「都想著誰打」、「打一次多久」等等私密和關係善良風俗的話題。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcN11A7QYy
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbr6WxGjoP
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4ZcFVKH6W
一是沒那個恥力。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfd9jxuCPg
二是我不想知道我朋友家人在他幻想中的世界。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPr4N6J7mz
三是……多久多大，不會有願意先講的男人。如果你是男人在看這文章，相信我，不管怎麼樣，我的都比你大一公分、持久一分鐘。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4DUyxhmLF
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNs2H9ATTMx
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe40vVLzpSU
拉回來，平均多久想一次？406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrq766UPTw
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaudEd2eey
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKgYanWfle
沒有平均，相信我，一個男生如果在可以想，那他一定不是在想，就是在準備想的過程中。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4p0QyeINI
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttrYva5NUz
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNq1Z4c9PA
但也不是隨時隨人都會想，至少我在菜市場和阿婆聊天時……哦那畫面太美別讓他在我腦裡超過3秒。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTayxp0PMFT
我要說的是，不會有人工作到一半突然靈光一閃：「胸部！」除非你就是"幹"這一行的。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZk1s8v5Vi
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglCRs2sWL3
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWxYpiwfyx
所以走在路上、在家、經過小學……嗯？等等，我家門口有人在敲門了，我去開……奶子！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CbnsL1Mr5
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuymNZOzAE
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PBe3NsX11
咳！相信我，雖然我常說想在腦子上裝個拉鏈讓大家知道我在想什麼，但真要裝，可能得容我先去當和尚修行個十年。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS6zB1F1bd
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0c6X3lpFI
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到此，「多久想一次」應該有了答案吧。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig194J54uo
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ai41acUZi
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzH4ukbfdg8
所以再來還有一個問題我認為值得講：「男生都在想什麼？」指色色的方面。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N3Db7zwPr
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjD6uESvWvB
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEnyM5wlr1
說實話，如果妳是女生並且在看這個文章，又耐住性子看到了這邊，我想為了妳等等看待妳爸妳哥妳身邊所有男人的眼光，還是打住吧！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWncleDPr8
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOZYgVoybW
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDyzhIK9uy
「想什麼？」說實話因人而異，譬如有人喜歡小的、有人喜歡短髮、有人喜歡寵物玩法……等等。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrUFcWOcua
但我要講的點不是怎麼玩，而是對誰對什麼。這一點基本可以說，萬變不離其中！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32rG3HTnuA
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbameCxRoPF
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmRsTPCeCJ
這裡我再分兩個：平時想，和進行生理自X反應(以下用打飛機統稱)。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6ok9o02JB
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEboTMTbKH6
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nTGQjtNz1
在平時，男生如果年紀超過青春期，就會有個經驗，千萬不要想太深入！406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUSybym288
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7pYBMPsiy
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIhrzGnxr0
為什麼？因為我不想頂個硬硬的東西在下面，特別是穿窄款褲子，真的…很不舒服。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSX164lPWL
再者濕濕的不是很好過……為何會濕，請去上國中健教課。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVj8jdsdCQ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0PnTpMQCJ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPtDmY8ewA
所以不外乎就只是對：奶子、臉、腿、臀部……等等的眼睛療養，再進就是簡單想象的肢體接觸。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoa3Hl0BNL2
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqEep0TJzZ
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而這事積攢時間過長，就會出現「能量釋放」，俗稱打飛機。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ342JyBZdpu
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJPZ6s4PB0
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdPiSAqwUI
對象為Everyone，只要在他的審美觀中是喜歡的，不管是妳、妳的朋友、朋友的朋友、朋友的…媽媽？都會在其中。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8JoRclPve
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpYgVTBaKM
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9SNY8ZroD
啊！女生們，這絕對不是精神出軌，不然為什麼妳們要看韓劇，雖然很帥、雖然如果可以也許也會嫁給他，但事實是，沒有，因為沒辨法(？ 在這一層關係上，他還是愛妳，只是在打飛機時請給他在腦內一個自由的權利。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9e7YkMwxP
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RbKERAot5
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ry56VLirJ
到此快接近這文章的尾聲，對於男人是下半身考的動物我想多少有些概念，那為了幫一些女生解決一個「如何讓他完全不想那些事呢？」我想了一下，想到了。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiGhgeoYT0
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等他打完。我絕對不是在唬爛。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKPAcOHBKB
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDS6nY4dBKR
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVd9Iv0NxnC
進入賢者時間，屆時妳才會看到一位心中了無雜念，視情色於糞土的好男人。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEbLBZT11e
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNJeM0XbKO
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxKWPJpwV8
而維持時間，大概一小時。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyNnnpQPto
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最後，我要說……說那什麼來著？啊！屁股。
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