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《枯郎收音機》奶……男孩子
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作者 枯郎劇縮
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  • G: 大眾
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《枯郎收音機》奶……男孩子
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枯郎劇縮
Jul 11, 2018
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4 分鐘
No Plagiarism!of5N7OCxKwDV3wctxILyposted on PENANA

不少聽到有人形容:「男生就是個用下半身思考的動物!」copyright protection8PENANAP3SV5lHZZI12Please respect copyright.PENANAT8u7xjJRSa

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身為一名英俊瀟灑、人見人愛、花見花開的男孩子,每每聽到此類言論,都有不少想法。copyright protection8PENANAkgvoMIRkqD12Please respect copyright.PENANAfguJo238TV

12Please respect copyright.PENANAjQfr4pLc0O
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所以特別想用一種嚴肅、認真並且憤慨的筆吻來回答它們:「沒有錯。」雖然不能說隨時,但大部份都是。copyright protection8PENANABHuzIFFyth12Please respect copyright.PENANAzSn3BM6EVZ

12Please respect copyright.PENANAAeQPFUfr6f
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當然此言論不能概刮所以男性,不過80%也許有。縱使想法怪異如我,在這一方面倒是不愧對我這帶把的身體。copyright protection8PENANAHx3ohfao8W12Please respect copyright.PENANANd6bhIYnnT

12Please respect copyright.PENANAnX7dNN83ef
copyright protection8PENANAuJDYjmDZV712Please respect copyright.PENANAiv2uW0UyHy

「男生平均多久想一次色色的事?」上次聽到有人在討論這樣一個話題,很有趣,也得確值得研究。copyright protection8PENANAg4WOJ986dN12Please respect copyright.PENANAMvMSG3AErY

12Please respect copyright.PENANAxOVF2JsaMH
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在說出我的答案前,我得先說句實話。要寫這類文章真的不容易,因為大多數男生包括我,是不會和其它人討論「你一星期打幾次」、「都想著誰打」、「打一次多久」等等私密和關係善良風俗的話題。copyright protection8PENANAqu44sor6nn12Please respect copyright.PENANA2tEOmkSXZk

12Please respect copyright.PENANAVx9RdbBFln
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一是沒那個恥力。copyright protection8PENANApbtK9Nmlhm12Please respect copyright.PENANANzTrngMgeM

二是我不想知道我朋友家人在他幻想中的世界。copyright protection8PENANAGIRLMkaeqy12Please respect copyright.PENANAAakK1xVCch

三是……多久多大,不會有願意先講的男人。如果你是男人在看這文章,相信我,不管怎麼樣,我的都比你大一公分、持久一分鐘。copyright protection8PENANABFc3QGfaiw12Please respect copyright.PENANA0z3t8gvRU2

12Please respect copyright.PENANAhHBb9YsVfG
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拉回來,平均多久想一次?copyright protection8PENANAaUY2GLmQ0N12Please respect copyright.PENANAOvlRYu7ul2

12Please respect copyright.PENANAwCJ7OT6gPl
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沒有平均,相信我,一個男生如果在可以想,那他一定不是在想,就是在準備想的過程中。copyright protection8PENANArdhapJ1oxe12Please respect copyright.PENANAU5HfXFK4a5

12Please respect copyright.PENANA6GIQOwKUMz
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但也不是隨時隨人都會想,至少我在菜市場和阿婆聊天時……哦那畫面太美別讓他在我腦裡超過3秒。copyright protection8PENANAU42nGIHYDb12Please respect copyright.PENANAnIB5YyLIDV

我要說的是,不會有人工作到一半突然靈光一閃:「胸部!」除非你就是"幹"這一行的。copyright protection8PENANAy4oQfOzgd712Please respect copyright.PENANAOKCwBq3llQ

12Please respect copyright.PENANAUBz136Hgjv
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所以走在路上、在家、經過小學……嗯?等等,我家門口有人在敲門了,我去開……奶子!copyright protection8PENANAmCcp0S7HRK12Please respect copyright.PENANAsJj4gVvkgQ

12Please respect copyright.PENANAabrJcvQTL9
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咳!相信我,雖然我常說想在腦子上裝個拉鏈讓大家知道我在想什麼,但真要裝,可能得容我先去當和尚修行個十年。copyright protection8PENANAWQbMtImWF412Please respect copyright.PENANAqCvKGMFc6W

12Please respect copyright.PENANA2g7u0kZQdK
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到此,「多久想一次」應該有了答案吧。copyright protection8PENANAjgq8yGdFwy12Please respect copyright.PENANARudnfU9U6g

12Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9wYDxiCnw
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所以再來還有一個問題我認為值得講:「男生都在想什麼?」指色色的方面。copyright protection8PENANAFSzm913izr12Please respect copyright.PENANAhnsvKIqUCw

12Please respect copyright.PENANAatFGsjdKVB
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說實話,如果妳是女生並且在看這個文章,又耐住性子看到了這邊,我想為了妳等等看待妳爸妳哥妳身邊所有男人的眼光,還是打住吧!copyright protection8PENANANUpb4F3WhS12Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9HjFr15lE

12Please respect copyright.PENANACv8icABqkw
copyright protection8PENANAuXK4jU5mcF12Please respect copyright.PENANA2BQ11PeQH6

「想什麼?」說實話因人而異,譬如有人喜歡小的、有人喜歡短髮、有人喜歡寵物玩法……等等。copyright protection8PENANANwyvgAMGQI12Please respect copyright.PENANAaxgSQVkS1G

但我要講的點不是怎麼玩,而是對誰對什麼。這一點基本可以說,萬變不離其中!copyright protection8PENANADDC3PGJTD012Please respect copyright.PENANAwDcEVofxPz

12Please respect copyright.PENANA4RbUTdJ73q
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這裡我再分兩個:平時想,和進行生理自X反應(以下用打飛機統稱)。copyright protection8PENANAYr9wWp7J6X12Please respect copyright.PENANA7e5jT1I8yy

12Please respect copyright.PENANAICpTxj6gqa
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在平時,男生如果年紀超過青春期,就會有個經驗,千萬不要想太深入!copyright protection8PENANAx4wuAIL11o12Please respect copyright.PENANA35q9pjb7rJ

12Please respect copyright.PENANAF9m53TpaaQ
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為什麼?因為我不想頂個硬硬的東西在下面,特別是穿窄款褲子,真的…很不舒服。copyright protection8PENANABX4c0TDLqW12Please respect copyright.PENANAcklCtKWESn

再者濕濕的不是很好過……為何會濕,請去上國中健教課。copyright protection8PENANA8X1FsCndDp12Please respect copyright.PENANAoyxLEAF3LP

12Please respect copyright.PENANAU6GpRd59dm
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所以不外乎就只是對:奶子、臉、腿、臀部……等等的眼睛療養,再進就是簡單想象的肢體接觸。copyright protection8PENANADaIInJC1v212Please respect copyright.PENANAncWUYAvDEg

12Please respect copyright.PENANAtynaYen3nB
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而這事積攢時間過長,就會出現「能量釋放」,俗稱打飛機。copyright protection8PENANA6jxvMCq1WZ12Please respect copyright.PENANApqglleWQSB

12Please respect copyright.PENANA7mauw8IUb6
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對象為Everyone,只要在他的審美觀中是喜歡的,不管是妳、妳的朋友、朋友的朋友、朋友的…媽媽?都會在其中。copyright protection8PENANAXxpYxIq9p712Please respect copyright.PENANA0R6gdrv9io

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啊!女生們,這絕對不是精神出軌,不然為什麼妳們要看韓劇,雖然很帥、雖然如果可以也許也會嫁給他,但事實是,沒有,因為沒辨法(? 在這一層關係上,他還是愛妳,只是在打飛機時請給他在腦內一個自由的權利。copyright protection8PENANAr25CyoaOjK12Please respect copyright.PENANAtvlAMy1iIj

12Please respect copyright.PENANAGtIrpCIseU
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到此快接近這文章的尾聲,對於男人是下半身考的動物我想多少有些概念,那為了幫一些女生解決一個「如何讓他完全不想那些事呢?」我想了一下,想到了。copyright protection8PENANANnDejErS6G12Please respect copyright.PENANA678rHU0JcI

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等他打完。我絕對不是在唬爛。copyright protection8PENANA5FqnDFdllc12Please respect copyright.PENANA7U9fmQamAm

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進入賢者時間,屆時妳才會看到一位心中了無雜念,視情色於糞土的好男人。copyright protection8PENANAwapfCzwtUB12Please respect copyright.PENANAyHRIXdy7z9

12Please respect copyright.PENANAuELKV9kNVY
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而維持時間,大概一小時。copyright protection8PENANAOIeoOBjzr612Please respect copyright.PENANAnQQeyNr7V1

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最後,我要說……說那什麼來著?啊!屁股。copyright protection8PENANAk0lA4JvOkL

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