一起床已到九時，要還的時間未免太多了吧。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3Ohp0GjEM
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我換好衣服出門，在等待升降機時發了「投降」的短訊給上司。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdZuBz56Vs
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到車上也是一直的休息。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfgRI0Z0jp
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看來世事還真的是等價交換，你總不可能永遠的利用著時間而放棄休息。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9w339rJ1MO
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514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuewQL90So
回到公司也沒甚麼特別的事，但「自由兼職者」的工作由我要來善後，太多的錯處。我也有疏忽監管的責任。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcOKrzrr7W
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNxyM7JA2b
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7vXGYOGRd
由於工作的關係，我盡量也沒有找她，忍耐着。也沒有什麼想太多，也做着一些閒事、加入同事說關於無聊的話題。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshgQ3Eabfb
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無聊的應對。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbhzfsT9s2
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3xK1yb6ZZ
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlNhA96FbK
心底裏整天都在思考「愛」的問題。究竟愛是什麼？我的愛和她的愛又是什麼？那是因為昨日聽到初中女孩們對話的因由。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DiizACZ4s
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因為我對愛的觀念很不同，對我來說找到愛的人、對的人我就會非常珍惜，儘管美麗的誘惑或者好感，我也覺得比不上她。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGyDISL3yx
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqjtHCTh3k
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那是確確實實我真誠的答案。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgVvGchZtP
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BjGblWClX
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是十多年來得出的答案。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROnPk2JjXi
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與在我讀設計後，我很清楚自己的需要，也很相信自己的眼光。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhdtRX41XY
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaeUQ1MGdl
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPdq2SBeSS
而我相信現在的她需要的應該是熱戀的感覺，看到她的反應，就和我了解的她一樣，寫到這裏嘆了一口氣。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExdjc1FzXj
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsAaJGeeKw
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVxObFVLKI
我也很相信是我「離開」了十個月的報應。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRtpZFVtEv
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgmEtvhJVT
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhjqziGbCX
我很清楚她需要的是什麼，就是原本我會做的東西：514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd8IHUTpVu
精心設計的旅程；514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BxPoVtrjR
驚喜的禮物；514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXGZwAi5On
做給她的手工藝；514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtq6cyGkR3U
畫給她的畫；514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC80mpw2rg4
還有勇敢果斷有正義感的「本我」。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPIrrCdEX7
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWihIMF5jHG
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEfT4ZbyA1
結果整天都在思考，也想起MLA的歌，內容說着不同的偉人對於愛的解讀：514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV34MVim6I2
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaVXVYtVmq
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFP2bMZDjnN
「耶穌說的愛是無條件的、獻身的，514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDPs36dVy1
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzWvK5qLiU
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4LfsOgdhH
奧修說的愛是能量的互動、是自由的、無束縛的，514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGS1VMOeZL
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVo3zqxREC3
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LFvp15kQs
昆德拉說的愛是機遇的、偶然的、命定的，514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZH3NjK3vJ
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt39grv1GYe
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高達說的愛是刺激的、好玩的、有今生沒來世的、哲學的，514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTqA8MuohL
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztdw1Xo9r8
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小津安二郎說的愛是溫柔的、隱藏的、非愛的，514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyu6RRSyVs
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxyg3WSiDN
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畢卡索說的愛是經驗的、性慾的、美好的，514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoC0GsiOHdD
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdI4jxLAKG
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夏卡爾說的愛是聖潔的、救贖的、唯一的。」514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZd3tOTgrbM
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聽着也很難理解。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCw71ih0F1
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晚上九時，我到運動場跑步時，查了一下維基百科，「愛」和「既視感」。「本我」是對我有感覺的字，很喜歡。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAF5N2wrU0
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514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXw57GSw2f3
既視感也是其中之一，因為我是一個很愛做夢的人。做夢時，常會看到一些似曾相識又毫無記憶的事物。現實時，看到一些在夢中看過的事物感到似曾相識。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8ppGhQMxL
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我會感覺到很神奇，很浪漫。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9EMM5GJIV
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514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcST59eaY8
而「愛」在我看完維基百科，理解的是「人類的本能」，過於複雜是因為人性。基本有寫到愛情三角論：親密、激情、承諾。而衍生出的一個「元素表」，直白而又殘酷。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMgQa5CdX3
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愛的風格比較有趣的是利他的愛：514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCl39IEf0N9
「完全無私的愛，可不惜傷害自己或捨棄任何東西，重視神交。現代多半喜歡稱呼這種愛為『真愛』。」514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLJOUN8ViA
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我大概對她就是這一種愛。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFl6AMgA5ih
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514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqeX8P1nji
愛的階段說出來就像她在我「離開」短短時間的轉變過程。情慾、吸引、最後依附，到情消失後，由熱愛轉為友愛，由浪漫轉為好感。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmhM5u6gDM
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和她那一天告訴我的一樣。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXe6kautZCa
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAu5rG6SD4
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOs3gbuny3O
回家洗澡後，我拿出為她畫的貓畫簿，那是我很久之前已經開始畫的畫簿，那是我想念她的方式。而我不否認很久也沒有畫新作品，可能是覺得我和她的時間還有很多，可以慢慢到一起生活時才畫我們一起養的貓而特意留給牠們幾頁。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsva4xLd2oM
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXpuuczdsf
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoMc3IP2fO
也可能是這兩年我對於貓沒有太大的靈感，在我生活的地方，流浪貓走的也走了，而她養的一隻貓也同樣走了，這也是令我很傷心的事。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoVYOqqb0r
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoTBV5Ebyq
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHcVVCSxhx
在夜裏，我畫的貓是我在「第四天」拍下的照片作參考──即是她家裏的貓。那張照片是我的左手摸貓貓的頭，而貓貓也很溫馴地把頭向左貼着我的手。而我用了我很少用的木顏色作畫，那木顏色是她和我一起買的。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpR46NPtzL
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62KVqFk0EX
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2Nnq14s6U
靈感也到了，影響了挑選顏色的感覺。用了紅色代表我，藍色代表貓貓，取代了鉛筆的黑色。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IuGS1GoLX
514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxWodrZkrd
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我就這樣坐在工作台前，在殘黃的坐枱燈下作畫，直至太陽升起。514Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7W0kAoYWjh
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完成一張畫。
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