How should I describe love? The answer: I have no freaking idea.
Finding love is like trying to figure out how deep the pits of Tartarus are. It’s pretty impossible if you didn’t get my stupid reference. You just sorta stumble around until you find the opening to the pit and then the question is: “Should I jump?”
I find myself teetering on this edge quite often. Staring down the dark, bottomless pit. Now that I’m writing more I understand how stupid of me it was to use the pits of Tartarus as an example, but I refuse to change it.
Do I jump and risk the chance of being dragged through hell to make up for my stupidity? Or do I back away and stay safely above ground? I know what you’re thinking: “Maybe being dragged through hell is worth it if in the end you come out with a happy relationship.” To that I say: “Hush, I don’t want to think about that side of things.”
I’ve wanted a partner for a long time now, blinded by the beautiful positives and absolutely taken aback by the horrendous negatives. I weigh the options in my head:
Pros
A partner
No more lonely nights
Maybe being happy? (Like that could ever happen)
Cons
Rejection
Arguments
Being vulnerable
After that I just can’t see myself doing it. Giving myself to another only for it to end badly. I would be shattered.
However, staying alone for another minute will drive me insane. Maybe it’s better to be crazy than in love. Maybe it’s the same thing.
Either way, I don’t see another pit coming my way anytime soon.
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