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Friendship
Inspirational
月下靈樨香滿肩
Writer 露娜仙仙
Writer
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
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月下靈樨香滿肩
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A - A - A
Intro 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 9
#3
第三章 祭舞
露娜仙仙
Comments ( 4 )

醉美人 - 略略看了第一章,就覺得太多人物國家背景的描述了,顯得有些平淡,建議可先用一些小情節或對話稍作開場,方可引人入勝。btw,就建議而已啦,下文才是最重要的,加油!
1 month agoreply

露娜仙仙 - 謝謝意見^^
1 month agoreply

醉美人 - @露娜仙仙,(´∀`)♡
1 month agoreply

露娜仙仙 - @醉美人,咱靈樨的西方版本:<失落的封印>開場就是一堆對白(笑),到時候也請多指教唷!
1 month agoreply

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