The Assassin The Soldier And The Thief - Chapter 1: Arlen's Assassination | Penana
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The Assassin The Soldier And The Thief
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Writer Nelso555
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The Assassin The Soldier And The Thief
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Chapter 1: Arlen's Assassination
Nelso555
No Plagiarism!mSNM6izuxt8e6hBT2eOpposted on PENANA

​The Assassin237Please respect copyright.PENANAfvpt44jxut
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​The full moon hovered in glowing triumph and contrasted blissfully against the empty dark sky that surrounded it. Its light, shimmering ever so gently over the village town of Riftsire, offered for Arlandra Knight the perfect visibility in which to hunt his newest target. Arlandra had accepted many assassin contacts of the people of Riftsire before, and though the small town did not have as many tight alleys and tall buildings as the great city of Taelliwey – landmarks that the assassin much preferred – it did possess a great number of easy victims for him to collect his next pay.copyright protection233PENANABzqpmwHV1e

Surians, or the reapers of Noveria, as some would call them, were a very productive group of people when it came to business. The Surians possessed mining camps along the Northern Peaks where they collected powerful Benezian Crystals. They also had access to the Eldar Forest in the East, from which they collected wood and other valuables.copyright protection233PENANAp9twq5ptjd

Surians are powerful with a bag of gold coins at their feet, Arlandra thought, and the man he was watching moved steadily across the empty street, but when they’re under the edge of my knife they are helpless.copyright protection233PENANAT15NAtTFH7

Arlandra was holding a red blood-poppy in his hands. He put it gently in his pocket and calmly flicked the hood of his dark cloak over his head before pulling his soft fabric mask back over his nose so that only his shimmering green eyes were visible. Slowly, he began to walk forward. Droplets of rain drizzled over them and little round puddles began to form in the dirt. Arlandra increased his pace as his target rounded the general store and made for the river on the edge of the town. His black boots sank deep into the thick grasping mud.copyright protection233PENANAdjHDI3apZc

Arlandra came around the same corner and his target turned and went pale – clearly having spotted the shadow that was haunting him. In that instance the assassin broke into a sprint, swiftly gaining on the target, who was now running so hard that every footstep could be heard from a distance, and over the heavy patter of falling raindrops as well. The clouds pushed over the moon and darkness consumed them. Darkness; an assassin’s greatest ally.copyright protection233PENANAEpl7VMckgv

Arlandra began to hear the rushing sound of the stream nearby. He was near the mill, for the creaking of the giant wheel turning was dominant over his surroundings. He pushed forward, and was ready to strike as fear very quickly overwhelmed the target. Fear; an assassin’s second greatest ally.copyright protection233PENANAy9xDX87RNP

Before each kill, Arlandra would ritualistically run through everything he knew about his targets. The target. A middle-aged trader by the name of Arlen. His life was worth a hundred gold coins to the client, a local tradesman. Dangerous? Perhaps, can’t be too careful. Lead him to the mill. Take him out fast.copyright protection233PENANAY18FFRJPhJ

Arlandra circled around towards the sound of the stream and slowed his pace as he followed Arlen into the mill. The night was silent, and on the edge of town, no one dared venture into the endless dark. Silence; an assassin’s third greatest ally.copyright protection233PENANA1V8n34agpq

Again the moon broke out and the night became visible once again. Arlandra caught a glimpse of the target stumbling desperately up the stairs to the mill. He reached into his belt and placed a firm hand over the hilt of his dagger.copyright protection233PENANAMXzjBwsJog

The inside of the mill was dark and quiet, and it carried the aroma of mould and old wood. Arlandra tried not to cough as dust invaded his lungs and caused him to choke. Swiftly, he pushed on, and made his way up the stairs to the top. Here, Arlen would die. It’s a very long way down, maybe I could make it look like an accident, or a suicide.copyright protection233PENANAymhH2WzMMR

The room up top was just like the ground floor, dark and mouldy. The pale moonlight stretched through the single window, pulsing in rhythm to the turning wheels of the mill as they flew by. Within the luminescence was the silhouette of Arlen, the target. His back faced Arlandra.copyright protection233PENANAvOMEbQIl67

 “I did what I had to do,” Arlen pleaded, without turning around. “You have to understand.”copyright protection233PENANALS5lcHSEqg

Ah, the begging stage, Arlandra thought, he had seen this many times before. It was a reflex action of those marked for death; a final desperate plead to win back their lives, but knowing deep down that there was no hope. There was no hope, and these words bounced off Arlandra like arrows off steel.copyright protection233PENANAVZDcHF9grV

“That isn’t for me to decide.” Arlandra said blandly. His tone was steady as he took hold of his dagger and stepped forward, the wooden floor creaked loudly under his weight.copyright protection233PENANA7XJUBVKjhR

The target was now within lunging distance. Arlandra raised his dagger, but then, like a scared cornered animal, the target turned and pulled from his jacket a flintlock pistol. Arlandra’s mind rushed. The weapon looked new, the wood polished and artistically engraved, and, by the way the chamber pulsed with blue light, the muzzle was infused with Benezian energy. But why was he using a flintlock? Arlandra wasn’t really one for guns but he still carried a perfectly good revolver at his side.copyright protection233PENANAr2KxoWegBE

He was quick to act. He swiped the weapon away just before it fired its blue-burning shot, but the purple muzzle flash and the weapon’s thunder was enough to make his ears ring and his eyes hurt. Arlandra pressed his forearm hard against Alan’s chest and pushed all of his weight and might upon it, forcing the man back against the window. He looked down. The drop was definitely enough to kill, or at the least, seriously injure a man.copyright protection233PENANAwwE9JlPSCh

But Arlen began to fight back. He drove his knee hard into Arlandra’s lower body and caused him to gasp. The target was a fighter, Arlandra decided, surprising. Adjust tactics.copyright protection233PENANAOKeyFPtq9K

He had to take this man down fast. As they struggled against the window, Arlandra noticed the rope attached and hanging from one of the spinning wheels. Without hesitation he took it as it swirled by and wrapped it tight around Arlen’s neck, tying it firmly. He quickly took the blood-poppy from his pocket and pinned it to Arlen’s shirt. This was his calling card. He then stepped back. Arlen paused for a moment, and gave one last cry before he was kicked backwards, and out of the high window.copyright protection233PENANAhBN18bYnsz

The rope snaked down after the man, and as Arlen fell, the rope snapped tight. His neck had been broken. The target was dead, and his body swayed back and forth in the night as the wheel slowly turned.copyright protection233PENANA2Z5G8P2YHE

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Comments ( 4 )

Emoddess - I agree with @Frances and @Aretice! Also, I really like how you described the assassin's three important elements (darkness, fear and silence) in the sentences. It makes him looked like his occupation and it has a nice flow for the scene too ^_^
6 months agoreply

Aretice N. Treader - I'm so glad I found this story, even if it's from a while ago. Your descriptions are so vivid, and I love how clear Arlandra's voice is right from the start. I didn't get lost in the description (which usually happens), so great job!

I can't give great advice like Frances, but I do agree with what she says. There are some smaller things, such as grammar. Instead of a semicolon for the assassin's greatest allies, I think it would be better to use a colon. (Sorry, I'm pretty nit-picky about semicolons.) Arlandra's thoughts were also sometimes improperly punctuated, but I suppose it's fine because thoughts can be messy.

Also, there were a few times when you overstated a fact. One example that comes to mind is when Arlandra saw the "silhouette of Arlen, the target." I think that the target is rather unnecessary considering that Arlandra went through an entire description of his target a couple paragraphs before. (Also, I think you accidentally called Arlen "Alan" at one point.)

Anyway, I'm not sure if you even plan on going back to edit, but I thought I'd put in my two cents. Again, I'm glad I found your story, and that's because I'll actually be using it as reference to help me with my own fantasy story I'm planning for Camp Nanowrimo. Thanks! :)
2 years agoreply

Frances - Whoa! You have such a clear vision of your world and how you're are building it! Also, I am thrilled to see you developing your characters at the same speed. Your writing is really lovely as well! 

The only thing I would suggest is taking another look at your descriptions. Sometimes, less words are more. Like when you said, "Red blood-poppy". The concept of a ''blood-poppy' (super cool by the way) gives an immediate image to the reader and the descriptor 'red' just gums up the sentence. Its not really needed for such a vivid name. If you go through and delete a few adverbs here and there and really focus on a few key areas of description, the flow will go so much smoother. 

I know its hard though. I LOVE my words too and I tend to use more than necessary. I think it's something certain writers just have to work at but once you master reining it in, your writing will thrive! 
2 years agoreply

Nelso555 - Thanks! I wrote this like 2 years ago so it's been a pain to edit, but I'm glad you're enjoying it!
2 years agoreply

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