那時候,我以為自己在失戀,以為自己很了解失戀。789Please respect copyright.PENANAnxkMphRFul
789Please respect copyright.PENANAp1tg17zhcx
想不到偶然下翻開那本《失戀日記》,才真正踏出邁向失戀的第一步。然而日記已被翻開,再沒有回頭之路可走 ── 我必須一頁一頁的繼續,一字一句,記錄我倆沒有明天的故事。
雙手插進褲袋,重複一下接一下地踢著跟前那空洞的汽水罐。罐子每次著地時,總會發出刺耳的,毫無新意的聲音。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAQx17TJ3k0H
789Please respect copyright.PENANAXN6eK8GRo0
人們圍在燒烤爐側,嬉笑之聲不絕。熱鬧,嗯,很熱鬧,不過熱鬧並不屬於我。789Please respect copyright.PENANA7Kama0KU4Q
789Please respect copyright.PENANAAVg1N80Dpj
不,應該說,我不屬於熱鬧。 789Please respect copyright.PENANA2y3UOIK8Zf
789Please respect copyright.PENANAw27bx10YLY
別人玩得正起勁,我沒有看不順眼的道理,可是熱鬧對失戀中人而言……我們並不願躋身這片熱鬧之中。 789Please respect copyright.PENANA2CntUfvtNZ
789Please respect copyright.PENANAjXxhcwYuiF
一些情緒,永遠跟熱鬧氣氛產生排斥作用。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAkXbaEWtxgI
789Please respect copyright.PENANA6YKOTpfY1l
子恆揮舞著串上牛排的燒烤叉朝我走來,「喂!你這人好不識趣!」 789Please respect copyright.PENANAedMbbdgV3Z
789Please respect copyright.PENANApyXfELLlsZ
我沒好氣地瞥他一眼。 789Please respect copyright.PENANA961wUD1ayz
789Please respect copyright.PENANA7VKBiBdUWX
子恆逕自說下去:「虧我們還擔心你獨守空房胡思亂想,勞心勞力替你辦『BBQ忘情大會』,你卻悶聲不響的跑了出來,真不夠意思!」 789Please respect copyright.PENANAQmwGJFJYLx
789Please respect copyright.PENANAFcMVvIWYFE
「拜託!是你硬要拉我來,事前都沒知會我一聲。」我苦笑,「我想一個人冷靜冷靜,我想 ──」 789Please respect copyright.PENANAXyq76FYoGI
789Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5zWHOKRjJ
「想想想,你這人就是想太多!」子恆毫不客氣地打斷我的話,「事情都已過去,還想來幹嗎?」 789Please respect copyright.PENANAcrHG0L714X
789Please respect copyright.PENANAIxP7WFCK3N
我沒好氣地搖頭,「大腦可是很活躍的一團物體,想甚麼不想甚麼,許多時不由我控制。」 789Please respect copyright.PENANAcSbPVCbIlj
789Please respect copyright.PENANAfuHEDR3aZI
「是你自己鑽牛角尖罷了。那芊芊不過長得可愛些,像她這級數的女生還多著,改天約幾個出來給你挑!」子恆大概從沒想過話說出口其實是要負責任的。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAjuL3CxL9SE
789Please respect copyright.PENANABE52gLYEie
「你要是認識那麼多女神,且還是隨隨便便任人挑的,怎麼就從沒見你手拖一個半個?」在兄弟面前,說話可以毫不客氣。況且所有人都同情失戀中人,對這一群特別容忍。789Please respect copyright.PENANAdk5exNqUgb
789Please respect copyright.PENANAEcZdMklvuV
失戀,我,可憐嗎?倒不覺得。789Please respect copyright.PENANAkzzl93mfrl
789Please respect copyright.PENANAR52CjeqE7J
只是……情緒依然低落。789Please respect copyright.PENANAqZyY208tqq
789Please respect copyright.PENANAPVkw7LL5S8
是因為先提出分手的是她而不是我?或許。這樣被甩掉總不是味兒。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAF8nOk1YCa9
789Please respect copyright.PENANATR6sL6bbJF
子恆笑,笑得很刺耳,「嘿,還懂得揶揄我呢!可見你還有救。」 789Please respect copyright.PENANAEGCCUCwJaB
789Please respect copyright.PENANASEEnFSVz32
「揶揄?我說的可是實話。甚麼有救沒救?失戀而已,既非車禍絕症,又不是世界末日,救甚麼!」我嗤之以鼻。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAUuXmpdxQZG
789Please respect copyright.PENANAz0wpnzY4zA
子恆揮拳搥向我胸口,「啐!當真想得那樣通透,就別擺出一副憂鬱模樣叫人擔心!」 789Please respect copyright.PENANAVyTB1X8nVV
789Please respect copyright.PENANAvnr1xUokmd
一口氣將啤酒灌下,任冰涼甘澀的酒精在胃道亂竄,讓我有一剎那放縱的快感,「想得通透不等於放得低,明白和甘心是兩回事。」 789Please respect copyright.PENANASi3tNhgd7I
789Please respect copyright.PENANAg4dkdLEbWT
子恆忽然收起笑臉,正容道:「威,別把自己迫得太緊。」 789Please respect copyright.PENANA8V4hwy43sf
789Please respect copyright.PENANARu5gG605Pt
「放心,我才沒有這份能耐。」我將啤酒罐捏成不規則的廢鋁,隨手扔出,正好落在前方的垃圾桶。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAnYYJG764lR
789Please respect copyright.PENANANo4qeYaZVG
「放心?老兄,你將『不開心』三字全寫在臉上,叫人如何放心得下?」子恆拾起一塊小石,朝同一方向擲出,「威,過去的,就由它過去。忘記吧。」 789Please respect copyright.PENANA2fjpUoTvVv
789Please respect copyright.PENANA7OVY5aejC2
「會將心事寫在臉上,表示傷口正癒合;收在心底不讓人看見才最可怕。至於忘記……」789Please respect copyright.PENANAe94TMtwLhr
我長長地吁一口氣,「我想沒這個必要。」789Please respect copyright.PENANAICCqsvA1HQ
789Please respect copyright.PENANA5ndHaFnznE
沒經歷過「失落」,就無法了解「快樂」;正因為失去過,才能學會珍惜。開心也好,難過也罷,全是生命的一部分,沒必要逃避些甚麼,反正人生不可能每分每秒都過得稱心如意。789Please respect copyright.PENANADmHrRt5ZXp
789Please respect copyright.PENANA5mH5Q9vSp9
我不清楚這種想法是豁達還是阿Q,只知道逃避回憶的人才最可悲。789Please respect copyright.PENANAbGckj6Y7U8
789Please respect copyright.PENANApso3l94we7
子恆揚起一道眉,「甚麼?看破紅塵?」 789Please respect copyright.PENANAyIrmVzY0O8
789Please respect copyright.PENANAf4TMMoSbvk
「看破紅塵?還差好遠。只是這幾天把自己困在屋裏,想通了。」789Please respect copyright.PENANA2a0gWZ3V0R
789Please respect copyright.PENANAt8LugojMRA
怪得了誰?愛一個人沒有錯,不再愛一個人,同樣不是罪過。相反,我還得感謝芊芊。曾經,她給我發奮的理由;曾經,她給我軟弱的借口。雖然最後她還是選擇捨我而去,但我決不會忘記她曾帶給我的那些快樂時光。 789Please respect copyright.PENANANXRphmuu0V
789Please respect copyright.PENANAO0vpx9T3b6
「想通了就好,人總要多跌幾次才會學乖。」子恆擺出一副過來人模樣。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAdCMIS70Q1C
789Please respect copyright.PENANAQCktQWfK3k
學乖?會嗎?我。 789Please respect copyright.PENANA6iQuPP9xDw
789Please respect copyright.PENANAPCBdcvK2CI
的確,人總要碰幾次釘才會學乖;然而當一個人過於精刮剔透,大抵又會惋惜失去偶爾糊塗的樂趣。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAxEuLi2g1x2
789Please respect copyright.PENANA98xq1qbSHF
事事看得太清楚,生活就沒啥驚喜。我雖然碰了一鼻子灰,然而不見得會放棄相信。一個人若對生活、對愛情都不再有任何憧憬或要求,那是很可悲的。789Please respect copyright.PENANAubMhBm7FQS
789Please respect copyright.PENANANY8y7VizY8
為堵住子恆有如黃河決堤般的說教,我不得不狠狠回道:「噯,難道要我揭破你活了半輩子仍是 A0 才懂得閉上尊嘴?嘿!」 789Please respect copyright.PENANA2SXC3bIyTM
789Please respect copyright.PENANAGYpB6QSm3a
「喂喂喂,失戀不代表可以隨便傷人自尊啊!」子恆一張嘴雖硬,心卻最軟,看來他還是會繼續包容我這個得勢不饒人的老朋友。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAHP6oDJ9CnJ
789Please respect copyright.PENANA2b14eMAi8Z
要不是有這樣的好友,失戀的日子也許真不容易熬過去。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAornHgZrhgO
789Please respect copyright.PENANAlzK0gwt75P
回程時途經書店,雙腳不由自主地朝店門走去。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAIdGNVXnsD4
789Please respect copyright.PENANA6VB9h6DRTK
樂觀點想,芊芊的離去也不盡是損失,最少時間騰空出來,又可重拾逛書店的樂趣。789Please respect copyright.PENANAPj3032Zq4y
789Please respect copyright.PENANA5QMsUFLe1r
隨手拈起幾本小說,翻了幾頁,放下。789Please respect copyright.PENANAwaqdgcYALJ
789Please respect copyright.PENANAFJvaV8ru2R
都不是我那杯茶。789Please respect copyright.PENANAK8v4LRQjgw
789Please respect copyright.PENANAYRQbgAU7Pk
又或是,那些情情愛愛的故事,跟我此刻的心境起了排斥作用,看在眼裏,心就不舒服。
倒是架上一本日記的封面瞬間將我的視線牢牢套住。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAde3GERfHxN
789Please respect copyright.PENANAe7j7R0YFPb
日記的設計沒啥花巧,純白封面只印有一對男女的側面素描 ── 一對面朝相反方向的男女。789Please respect copyright.PENANA2KCpcFGPma
789Please respect copyright.PENANAiUVaYL1KiD
黑白素描線條含糊抽象,感覺很接近,又很遙遠,彷彿兩人剛好擦身而過,不禁讓人聯想到一對曾經相愛,可惜已相對無言的戀人 ── 距離在彼此之間一點一滴堆積,然而雙方卻又很有默契地拉扯下去,沒有誰會主動揭破那段早已壞死的關係,替愛情蓋上謝幕的黑紗。 789Please respect copyright.PENANA8t3ZJKisBh
789Please respect copyright.PENANAUsoqngecJt
最要命的,還是封面左下方那短短幾個熨銀大字:失戀日記。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAoBmOp3tmUY
789Please respect copyright.PENANAUrdOIuAOD2
從前的日記,大都只以圖案配合規則平行的橫線,然而台灣早年曾興起一種叫「交換日記」的另類日記本。作者喜歡以插畫短文將個人生活點滴和隨想書於日記之內,圖文並茂、生動有趣。789Please respect copyright.PENANAG8IklDUJBi
789Please respect copyright.PENANADHU8tw8llB
讓人最感興趣的,自然是在寫日記的同時,也像在閱讀別人的生命,充分滿足了人類的偷窺欲。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAmSSdOKcRTy
789Please respect copyright.PENANAt5q771yiWQ
日記是世上最私人的地方,該是藏得最深,最不願意讓人窺見的內心世界。而我手上的這一本,將是兩個在愛情路上跌倒受傷的人的私密天地。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAAXLBz0Py5p
789Please respect copyright.PENANABrTXbAm6Tk
我翻開第一頁,邁出闖進別人內心世界的第一步。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAEZl0MZnLeJ
789Please respect copyright.PENANA8GqQDRNU4A
日記簿左上方印著: 789Please respect copyright.PENANABzmvufO5Ql
789Please respect copyright.PENANA12kiNliRAX
習慣你的氣味, 789Please respect copyright.PENANAnT9Gtgh6fN
習慣躺於你手臂, 789Please respect copyright.PENANAbj0QnCh9zf
從今天起 789Please respect copyright.PENANA5BQZzq70U4
開始習慣身邊再沒有你。 789Please respect copyright.PENANAM1poTfkk2S
789Please respect copyright.PENANAkhzcRkwKSN
第二頁的右下方也印有相若句子,彷彿是上一頁的延續:
習慣你的餘溫, 789Please respect copyright.PENANA5nXrPp0Bwy
習慣你的慰問, 789Please respect copyright.PENANAd24T994vIW
已太習慣你的吻, 789Please respect copyright.PENANAhwmlszQuCf
故此習慣不再愛上別人。
還未及翻至下一頁,子恆已將我手中的日記簿搶了過去,「失戀日記?作者跟自己很過不去嗎?誰會買一本只有失戀回憶的日記?」 789Please respect copyright.PENANAAeoQpTNhkk
789Please respect copyright.PENANAIsRLqYUpqw
我將日記本搶回來,「我。」
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