由相遇那天計起已約11年半,但我從沒有忘記過牠,如果那一天沒有跟牠相遇,也沒有今天的我。529Please respect copyright.PENANASZa9CpiWS8
529Please respect copyright.PENANABThFr3iirf
回想那天,仍在唸書的我在寵物店看見牠,牠是我最喜歡的喜樂蒂牧羊犬。在我的人生計劃表中,其中一個目標是有生之年一定要養一次狗,因此飼養的知識一直都有看。在取得母親同意之下,我便把牠買下來。529Please respect copyright.PENANAbwsHrYkAsU
529Please respect copyright.PENANAGXyrmU56J7
牠是個三個月大的女孩子,尚算可以一手抱起,以這狗種來說是微胖的體型。529Please respect copyright.PENANAxG8oBQFArP
529Please respect copyright.PENANA0J3Hf4szoy
起初牠只會待在自己的小窩中,不太會周圍探索,也不會吠叫;然而這乖孩子形象只維持了三天,意識到這裡並沒有危險後,開始活潑好動起來。529Please respect copyright.PENANAPREFPs86FN
529Please respect copyright.PENANA5YT9jyQ3iG
如是這般,這調皮的孩子便慢慢融入家中,體型也日漸由微胖變成重量級的肥胖。529Please respect copyright.PENANAW6zwu11DYv
529Please respect copyright.PENANAsMNU6y24UQ
由於家裡也沒有私家車,這些年間我也只是帶牠到家樓下散步,而這些地方就已經是牠的世界。529Please respect copyright.PENANAranTdO9Ttw
529Please respect copyright.PENANAQpQyWaac5t
如同牠的世界只有我一般,在我人生經歷挫折、仕途不順、與家人關係惡劣之際,牠也是我堅持活下去的唯一動力。529Please respect copyright.PENANAcUv22SB9TS
529Please respect copyright.PENANAYaw7XvRt0r
當時剛畢業的我只有微薄的薪水,為了盡可能彌補牠,我在牠飲食上花費毫不吝嗇、玩具經常換、假日陪牠玩直至牠累了不想動......雖然這養成了牠挑三揀四的小姐脾氣。529Please respect copyright.PENANA0tNNDDDhCc
529Please respect copyright.PENANA6ZbmUimd66
既然我把牠的命買下,就有責任去照顧牠。529Please respect copyright.PENANAVMS1z44s75
529Please respect copyright.PENANAs5JBmPiKxo
這是我應該做的,也是我必須做的。529Please respect copyright.PENANAipLP2MkPbL
529Please respect copyright.PENANAgDAKjoVQyD
529Please respect copyright.PENANAzLfCVuEVbe
時光飛逝,轉眼間牠已經六歲半有多。529Please respect copyright.PENANAPccP3kEgAe
529Please respect copyright.PENANAN7MOicJmGD
某天牠的左眼瞼翻了一點點出來,因為牠也曾經有過這問題,當時給牠點了眼藥水就治好,因此以為這次也只是小毛病。529Please respect copyright.PENANAE5mSMchMA0
529Please respect copyright.PENANAjBz2tbPWG2
可幫牠點了一個星期眼藥水也絲毫沒好轉,由於體型龐大的牠已不能偷偷乘搭交通工具,我便預約獸醫登門給牠檢查。529Please respect copyright.PENANAuuDbd51BEz
529Please respect copyright.PENANAVuz83lFoDv
「牠可能眼睛受到感染了。」529Please respect copyright.PENANAC6rBUuRiuw
529Please respect copyright.PENANAylrBuItBuE
獸醫在檢查後得出這結論,並處方了眼藥水和抗生素。529Please respect copyright.PENANAnzMvzqKYEX
529Please respect copyright.PENANAxymTimQdKg
然而這些藥吃了幾天也不見任何作用,左邊鼻孔還開始流出淡黃色的鼻涕,因此我再次預約同一位獸醫登門診察。529Please respect copyright.PENANAmjJJpaNcUX
529Please respect copyright.PENANAhrQbh53epU
「應該是感冒了。」529Please respect copyright.PENANAzUkuxEUZUR
529Please respect copyright.PENANAqCih5JUJCv
這次除了抗生素,亦處方了消炎藥。529Please respect copyright.PENANAPIJRi8F2BX
529Please respect copyright.PENANAjj3JItVBiA
同樣地吃了幾天藥也沒有好轉,鼻涕偶爾還會滲雜著血絲,左邊臉上亦多了一粒杏仁大小的硬塊。529Please respect copyright.PENANAzN3GRifaRk
529Please respect copyright.PENANAlblC9ly2RF
意識到登門的那位獸醫並不能治好牠,我便決定帶牠出門去診所應診。幸好當年已有叫車服務,就算沒有私家車,也能帶著寵物出門遠行。529Please respect copyright.PENANAnT0maktZyH
529Please respect copyright.PENANAM2qfEO8LTJ
「可能是蛀牙引起牙齦發炎潰爛,口鼻相通之下令鼻涕有血絲,臉上的顆粒是膿包,要治好就要把牠的大牙拔掉。」529Please respect copyright.PENANAiahBiTjWSe
529Please respect copyright.PENANALfWr5pg9Ya
雖然獸醫這麼說,但牠的牙齒分明健康又結實,加上牠也天天啃潔齒棒,實在難以想像牙齒有問題。529Please respect copyright.PENANAxWBLxTUXdy
529Please respect copyright.PENANAf0wCojLo23
鑑於想聽多一個獸醫的意見,我便預約了同一間診所另一位評價比較好的獸醫。529Please respect copyright.PENANA6HgSlvyUz6
529Please respect copyright.PENANACfQufB4oKc
這位獸醫摸了摸那硬塊,眉頭一皺,往牠臉上噴了點麻醉劑,便拿針筒刺上去想抽點什麼,但什麼都沒能抽出來。529Please respect copyright.PENANAy8VsitSEBE
529Please respect copyright.PENANAQVaD2magyN
「如果是膿液的話,這顆粒會是軟的,而且也能用針筒抽出膿液,這肯定不是什麼好東西,但這家診所並沒有足夠的儀器,要轉介你去專科診所。」529Please respect copyright.PENANA5SrEHsr5vQ
529Please respect copyright.PENANArPYbcJtu8q
雖然有向他投訴診所另一位獸醫的誤診,但他不以為意,實在令人泄氣。可幸護士們都很親切,馬上聯繫了專科診所,被視為急診的情況下,翌日就可以去應診。529Please respect copyright.PENANAHX0M2cZToo
529Please respect copyright.PENANADyPKGu8moJ
專科診所幫牠把臉上硬塊的部分組織切下送往外國化驗,此時它已由杏仁長至雞蛋的大小。一個星期後,等不及診所聯絡,我已主動打電話查詢,心想能切除的話就早一天切除。529Please respect copyright.PENANA9jAeP7uKHV
529Please respect copyright.PENANAEf3My6PRih
「牠患的是骨癌,而且長在臉上不能切除,沒有治好的可能。」529Please respect copyright.PENANAHJUOn18LjE
529Please respect copyright.PENANAxb3ewcI2Tb
這宣告實在太突然也太震驚,即使當時人在公司,也忍不住哭出來。529Please respect copyright.PENANA5EKcUoIaW5
529Please respect copyright.PENANAd8ZodWbibC
之後我搜尋了很多可以幫狗延緩癌症的資訊,也嘗試過偏方(早晚餵食加了亞麻籽與冷壓麻籽油的茅屋芝士),但這偏方實在過於難吃,以致牠每次也會吐出來。529Please respect copyright.PENANAvo8QEe5uFd
529Please respect copyright.PENANAN0x7gCqrxH
如果知道生命餘下的時間不多,我也不想只吃難吃的食物受苦,牠豈不是也如此嗎?529Please respect copyright.PENANA1Qu5u2muGG
529Please respect copyright.PENANAaMdjJMasrC
因此我停止了這偏方,轉而餵食新鮮食材。529Please respect copyright.PENANAZTKYa6dcPf
529Please respect copyright.PENANAjB4M6rSxRc
由於牠左邊的口腔已被腫瘤侵蝕潰爛,幾乎咀嚼不到食物,所以我每晚下班回家都會用攪拌器把煮好的新鮮食材攪成糊再餵給牠。529Please respect copyright.PENANAjGGksqoNVv
529Please respect copyright.PENANAM7WmZV8i7D
在這最後的一個月,每逢假日我便會帶牠出遠門玩,雖然深閨的牠顯得有點害怕陌生環境,但習慣了之後還是看得出牠是很高興的。529Please respect copyright.PENANAF2DYkmcCIJ
529Please respect copyright.PENANARKMjpnLxJk
我真的好後悔沒有更早帶牠出遠門。529Please respect copyright.PENANAIK939H48Hv
529Please respect copyright.PENANA8EZpxx4A59
叫車服務其實早知道有,只是我一直把這計劃推遲,怎料牠原來已沒有多少時間能見識這個世界。529Please respect copyright.PENANA4zDrYawfcj
529Please respect copyright.PENANAVWZo7nPOpV
發病起僅僅兩個月,腫瘤已如網球般大。或許侵蝕到腦部,有時牠會抽搐,左眼也被擠壓到變形,口腔的潰瘍也導致牠每天流很多血,輕易把一條浴巾染得血跡斑斑。529Please respect copyright.PENANAs11GXCDHoa
529Please respect copyright.PENANAjPheXDqPqG
我知道牠很痛,同時也知道牠想活下去,動物從來都不會輕易放棄生存。529Please respect copyright.PENANAhsyfGMt6cm
529Please respect copyright.PENANAgGCQ9DotXY
可這樣下去牠會死得很辛苦,掙扎了好久,我還是預約另一位獸醫登門,給牠安樂死。529Please respect copyright.PENANAzwXRK7kaNo
529Please respect copyright.PENANAg6AmpReJVx
那天是除夕,亦是牠7歲的生日。529Please respect copyright.PENANAHDVOAh9FYC
529Please respect copyright.PENANACSpwCXWhsU
一整天我都陪著牠,但顯然牠並不知曉接下來會發生的事。529Please respect copyright.PENANA1diLiJs15w
529Please respect copyright.PENANAk1R4aRRbsu
晚上8時,獸醫及他的助手到達,傻傻的牠還以為他們是客人,上前去討摸。529Please respect copyright.PENANAGIm42jvL9K
529Please respect copyright.PENANAd3A5inY7Wu
評估過牠的現況及看過化驗報告後,獸醫同意給牠安樂死,也指出牠的腫瘤已經非常大,即使處方高劑量類固醇也活不了多久。529Please respect copyright.PENANAYRfKZl93Vl
529Please respect copyright.PENANASJ7DOtGlBQ
無論做了多少心理準備、腦海模擬過多少遍,分別一旦來臨,眼淚還是決堤而出。529Please respect copyright.PENANAxlJr7vl5UG
529Please respect copyright.PENANAGv4XfNuJAG
這是最後一次機會去做選擇,而我,最終亦選擇替牠安樂死。529Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7icR8BXlv
529Please respect copyright.PENANAe9zVn48QmJ
獸醫先給牠注射了鎮靜劑,稍等幾分鐘至藥力生效,再給牠注射致死量的麻醉藥。529Please respect copyright.PENANAxGvvFI4za3
529Please respect copyright.PENANAOQACFITHRG
牠就這樣緩緩地趴下,仿似只是睡著,隨時會醒來的樣子。529Please respect copyright.PENANAsysMXHaFu8
529Please respect copyright.PENANAbzetYKkb45
經獸醫檢查,確認牠的心臟已經停止跳動。529Please respect copyright.PENANA4ucLe19fy5
529Please respect copyright.PENANAExZssPVWVh
在牠7歲的這天,亦是我們離別之日;是我親自給予死亡,讓牠提前去了當狗天使。529Please respect copyright.PENANAHElVkyzhIg
529Please respect copyright.PENANAOMPtb5O8SC
直到現在我還會禁不住想,要是我當日快點找到合適的獸醫,是否就能趁腫瘤還細的時候切除?529Please respect copyright.PENANAFpZM6P9IrR
529Please respect copyright.PENANAHjFWE0K4P8
要是我能早點帶牠出遠門,牠的生命是否就能變得更完滿?529Please respect copyright.PENANA4ehKcxvOGw
529Please respect copyright.PENANAMlQkCV9RdP
事到如今,我對牠就只有無盡的愧疚和思念。529Please respect copyright.PENANAnuRdpDkKHt
529Please respect copyright.PENANAqhncUNt4rB
時間的無情。
責任的承擔。
生命的價值。
生死的別離。529Please respect copyright.PENANAAHNmI2j1m0
529Please respect copyright.PENANAiZwtFdqjyH
這些都是牠以性命教曉我的。529Please respect copyright.PENANAuyXSlbInLU
529Please respect copyright.PENANAA5GdYzauF9
即使牠已離去了差不多四年,我仍無法忘記與牠生活的日子。529Please respect copyright.PENANAsuHNIRP0Aw
529Please respect copyright.PENANAofgQCneBND
牠帶給我煩惱,也帶給我歡樂。529Please respect copyright.PENANAjaGjrWV5Z8
529Please respect copyright.PENANAGru4HGdlM4
能跟牠相遇,是我此生最大的奇蹟。
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